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mchan
USA
75 Posts |
 Posted - 11/27/2012 : 05:38:25
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| I have not worked out in quite some time but the back on my thighs are burning like I have? Is this another TMS symptom? I have not been on in a few months because I am spending my time trying to heal but nothing has improved so far. My knee joint pain is getting worse and now I have burning in my upper hip, buttocks, and back of legs. I am quite sure I would get the fibro diagnosis if I went to the doctor with as many muscles that are hurting me for so long now. This is on top of the bladder disease which is enough to make you want to jump off a bridge. I hate how my body is turning against me because of what other people did to me in my past? This seems...unfair! I am meditating, and doing Dr. Shubiners work book, slowly though. I have 3 kids and finding uninterrupted time for me during the day is tough, but I take it where I can! I have read ALL the TMS books now and still keep going back and forth thinking I have a chronic infection because there is "no way" my body could do all this to me for no physical reason.. that is what I think anyway when things get severe. |
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eric watson
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2012 : 07:44:09
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mchan quote;
I have not worked out in quite some time but the back on my thighs are burning like I have? Is this another TMS symptom? I have not been on in a few months because I am spending my time trying to heal but nothing has improved so far. My knee joint pain is getting worse and now I have burning in my upper hip, buttocks, and back of legs.
all this happened to me mchan while i was recovering-remember your reaction to these symtoms is very important to keep the peace and keep believeing-i would take my frustraitions out on a journal and then tear up the paper after i calmed doun/im not familiar with shubners workbook but stay the course ,your time will come... |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2012 : 08:28:44
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Hi MCHAN, I remember you, sorry that's a pretty tough story. IF?--it's TMS, you may be dx'ed with fibro, if you choose to go the conventional allopathic medical route--it's very chic today, like stomach ulcers used to be. Coincidentally, I just met a chap in the hot-tub yesterday, who was near to getting a fibro dx from his docs, for his unexplained and unfoundable TMS symptoms, I've seen him moping around the club with. I suggested to him there were some good (TMS) books on the topic--not by name. He showed NO interest, not surprisingly. He's a psychologist--therefore would have NO belief in TMS/PSYCHOsomatic dis-ease--I barely bothered further and wished him well.
"Back" to you, I remember telling you to see a TMS practitioner--but-- you said that, with three children, it was too far. Then I suggested you could do phone consults--then--I didn't get a reply from you and you left the board. I'm sorry, I have no more ideas for you--EXCEPT, to ACCEPT that you need your TMS as a PROTECTOR at this point in your life, which is it's natural function for most.
If you want to get "well", you can email, call or skype SteveO, who's very compassionate, helpful and gives freely of his time. He cured himself of life-long TMS after 27 years of it. Have you read his book? It's an affective/effective text for TMS'ers.
What did your "bladder disease" lab tests show. Do you have "structural bladder disease" or TMS "bladder dis-ease"? You write as if it were structural--but what do the labs show?
Yes, life is NOT fair!--only for politicians.
G'luck!
==================================================
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter
======================================================
"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod
=================================================
TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
Here's a map of TMS practitioners from the old Tarpit Yoga site, (click on the map by state for listings).:
http://www.tarpityoga.com/2007_08_01_archive.html |
Edited by - tennis tom on 11/27/2012 09:42:38 |
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mchan
USA
75 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2012 : 10:03:39
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| Thanks Tennis Tom. I did in fact see a TMS doctor, it was far but I made the train ride. He did diagnosis is as TMS a few months ago and refereed me to the Dr Schubiner workbook or online workshop. I just have a hard time believing it when I am in so much pain because I have had tests and do have blood in my bladder and measurable inflammation markers through testing. Someone on this site told me TMS can even cause measurable inflammation though. The bladder disease western medicine term name is interstitial cystitis. The muscles pain I had a little in the past, but its been daily lately which is scaring me. I am doing a lot of work, what I can do in the time I have. I just get into bouts of unbelief when I do not see things getting better, yet worse. I just wish I saw some results so I knew I was on the right track. I needed to ask to this question to see if others have had widespread muscle pain start after beginning treatment. |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2012 : 10:04:46
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Hi mchan,
Sorry to hear of your troubles.
I pick on your statemet, "I have 3 kids and finding uninterrupted time for me during the day is tough...."
I would concentrate at least some of your efforts on the kind of pressure this places on you as well as inner rage. Remember, Dr. Sarno makes it quite clear in his work that it is not the rage that we feel that is the source of the problem, but the rage we cannot feel and our symptoms are put in place by our brains to distract us. The symptoms are NOT NOT NOT a sign of anything being wrong with your body, even though you may be convinced otherwise due to the severity of your pains.
I know it is difficult, even Dr. Sarno affirms this point, but keep your focus off the pain and if you cannot feel rage, pressure or stress, at least try to imagine what is going on in the inside.
Do you resent the imposition of those 3 children? You will say no, but your body it telling you otherwise. No need to feel ashamed, you are only human..... |
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mchan
USA
75 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2012 : 10:05:12
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| Eric, your story is VERY encouraging to me. |
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eric watson
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2012 : 10:38:11
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quote:
Originally posted by mchan
Eric, your story is VERY encouraging to me.
thank you,you work it-believe it even in doubt ,keep believing for your healing,even when your in distress if you stay the path you will heal,
we all have been upset ,just this morning i thought i was going to break doun but i made it and im fine now-i kept thinking what is bothering me and the conclusion was ,i was trying to hard to find the source/
we have to remember the rage sooth ratio-
i stoped all action and just walked away-us type ts are known to hang in their and fight-sometimes we have to walk away from the fight to win |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2012 : 10:47:36
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quote:
Originally posted by mchan
...I have had tests and do have blood in my bladder and measurable inflammation markers through testing.
...The bladder disease western medicine term name is interstitial cystitis.
...The muscles pain I had a little in the past, but its been daily lately which is scaring me. I am doing a lot of work, what I can do in the time I have.
Blood in my urine would scare me too! The last time I saw it, I had a kidney stone and went to the ER and got a good dose of morphine and percodan to-go. What does your TMS doc say about the blood in your bladder--does he say that's a TMS symptom. Is interstitial cystitis benign or serious? I'm not familiar with it, I'm only a tennis player and not a doctor.
Have you got SteveO's book? He cured himself of 27 years of debilitating, chronic pain.
Call, email or skype SteveO, he's very compassionate and has helped many personally.
G'luck! |
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Birdie78
Germany
145 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2012 : 12:22:25
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mchan, I am sorry you have so much pain...I have a similar pain story (widespread muscle- and tendonpain all over my body). In the past I suffered several years from cystitis (there was blood and measurable infection, too). It completely disapeared...somtimes I feel a short and sharp pain in my bladder but no infection occurs. I am sure stress afflicts the immune system and this can lead to symptoms like cystitis. I hava a friend who is suffering from cystitis (measurable inflammation) nearly every time when she is stressed. In your case it seems the bladderpain is directly related to your traumatic childhood and therefore probably is the most defacing and besetting symptom.
And I exactly know the burning sensations in my buttocks, hips, back and sides of my legs, have this for 2 years now. It's getting a little bit better - very slowly. But - due to the symptom imperative - I now suffer from severe ellbow and shoulder pain ("tennis-arm", "golfer-arm", "impingement", "biceps-tendinitis").
I also had a very traumatic childhood and got different diagnosis ("post-traumatic-stress-disorder", "dependent personality disorder", "myofascial pain syndrome", "fibromyalgia", "somatoforme pain disorder" and the last and only and true one: TMS ;-)...unfortunately I am not able to meet a TMS doctor face-to-face).
I absoluteley can understand your doubts, it's sometimes hard to believe.
But sometimes I have a strong feeling ...something like the certainty that one day I will be healed...and I think so will you! It's a journey.
Kind regards from Germay sends Birdie |
Edited by - Birdie78 on 11/27/2012 12:23:49 |
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Peregrinus
250 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2012 : 18:34:05
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Birdie:
What kind of trauma did you experience as a child? Have you tried to forgive those who you feel are responsible? |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2012 : 18:51:25
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| I think that any person who says they did not experience any kind of childhood trauma is lying to themselves. We all have painful experiences we went through in the past. I think the worst for me was mom and dad getting divorced when I was 14. |
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Peregrinus
250 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2012 : 19:09:13
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| For some of us our childhood was serene in comparison to our adult experiences. |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2012 : 20:27:33
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quote:
Originally posted by Peregrinus
For some of us our childhood was serene in comparison to our adult experiences.
Possibly, but then we mostly make up our past. In other words, our past is mostly fiction. |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2012 : 23:18:44
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Hi friend, Interstitial Cystitis (or IC) is one of the typical TMS symptoms now grouped together as Fibromyalgia. I had it. I went to all kinds of docs who had no idea what it was, but did various invasive things that I can't bear to mention that made me worse.
What happened to it? Hmm... can't remember! I think my alleged stomach ulcer took my attention and the IC just faded away.
There is some good advice here in the posts above, and all I can say is that I can't believe it a lot of the time, either. But when I look back at how many things I have had and not died from (in fact they disappeared even if they have been replaced). I can't help giggling a bit
or as Tibetan scholar Long Chen Pa (1308-63) put it:
Since things neither exist nor don't exist,
are neither real nor unreal,
are utterly beyond adopting and rejecting -
one might as well burst out laughing.
Longchenpa Rabjampa
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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Birdie78
Germany
145 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 02:29:39
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What kind of trauma did you experience as a child? Have you tried to forgive those who you feel are responsible?
Peregrinus, my mother committed suicide after my birh, I stood a very long time at the hospital, then my aunt nursed me a few months. Then my father married again and I was taken away from my aunt which was my mom at this time. My steopmother did her very best and it wasn't all bad, there were good times, too because she wasn't able to get an own child and so she was very happy to have me. The biggest problem was my very alcoholic diseased father: was a mix between neglect and violence.
And because of the long time in hospital (about 4 months in my first year) and the loss of my mother and my aunt within the first year I refused physical contact most of the time but was also frightened to be alone (they called this hospitalism in former times). I always suffered from an extreme form of separation-fear. And fear of my father.
Well, if I tried to forgive my mother and my father?
There's one problem: I wasn't ever angry at them! So how can I forgive someone who I wasn't angry at?
My biological mother had a terrible childhood, was an alcoholic and mentally ill. So was (still is) my father. I always see them as victims and not as offenders. But I guess this leads and is still leading to lots of repressed anger...and there probably are lots of repressed grief and fear. I was never allowed to be sad because when I came to know about this wasn't my biological mum (was a big shock because I was told from a girl in my neigbourhood when I was 11) I was told there's no reason to be sad because babys don't get it what happens to them, they only want to sleep and to drink milk. HA HA! Ok, that's not really funny...
So I think I am a perfect proof of SteveO's therory that early separation is THE trigger for TMS.
Sorry, that was really offtopic now.
Kind regards from Germay sends Birdie |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 05:20:02
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Birdie78,
I encourage you to journal here or in private more on this topic and possible emotions surrounding this part of your life -- ie sense of loss, sense of betrayal of not being told who your real mother was, fear of similar things may happen to you, fear of not being truly loved and appreciated and the associated hurt that may bring. |
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mchan
USA
75 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 07:43:00
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Shawnsmith: I REALLY needed to hear that this morning. I woke up at 6am WITHOUT PAIN, after a not so great night of sleep to wake up my teenager for school, made him breakfast and then my 4 and 5 year old get up at 6:30am as I tell them I need to drive my teenager to school and they need to stay with Daddy. I make my teenager breakfast that he drops on the ground on the way to the car, so he does not eat. I drive him to school 15 min away and then realize no one is there as we pull up, its late start day. School does not start for 1.5 hours. He proceeds to tell me he is hungry, but does not want fast food. So I frantically think of somewhere quick to take him because my husband needs me home by 7:20am to take him to the train for work. We find a Dominick’s and I RUN in to find him something as he causally walks far behind me and finally picks a sandwich. I drop him off at school early and then rush home to make it just in time for my husband. Its cold were I am, and I rush my little kids in the car without coats on to make it to the train. My kids start complaining on the way home that we have no pancakes left, we walk into house. And my hips begin hurting, and the underside of my right buttocks starts burning badly…..HMMMMM…Stress? So then in between making my kids breakfast they are not happy to eat, I start frantically searching online about muscle burning and pain and the first thing that pops up is fibromyalgia. I start touching all the points that hurt on my body, and then something had me close it and come on this site and read this. When you said this, “The symptoms are NOT NOT NOT a sign of anything being wrong with your body, even though you may be convinced otherwise due to the severity of your pains.” I almost cried. I need to hear that.
Eric: You said, “we have to remember the rage sooth ratio” Interesting because I stopped eating ALL sugars (fruit, honey, all grains) recently because I am having an elective surgery coming up that the doctor said it would be good for me to lose 5 pounds for” Also, I keep thinking that this diet will help my bladder and joint pain, because it has in the past. So, I have no soothing with food. I need to replace it with meditation I guess? Also though there is a part of my brain that thinks the diet will heal me…
tennis tom: I have had blood in my urine for years without infection or stones. Its very common with you have IC – the bladder disease I have because your bladder is inflamed. The TMS doc says for sure IC is TMS and I have found a few, but ONLY a few women who claim to be almost symptom free using mind body approaches.
Birdie 78: I totally agree. My bladder pain started at a very stressful time. It is hopeful for me to know cystitis stopped occurring. I have started a lot of work digging up my past and working though it, and things have gotten worse …it must be related but a part of my brain is screaming, NO its not! I have also had the post-traumatic-stress-disorder diagnosis but have not gone to any doctors about my muscle pain because I found this site. I have been contemplating it but its seems even if you get a diagnosis there is still no hope with western medicine. I just read your story of your life, Wow I am sorry that is rough. I do relate, my abusive father was alcoholic and died of a cocoaine overdose, some say he committed suicide, but no one will really tell me what happened. I raised myself, I had no love..no caring parents and no friends in school. I was neglected to the extreme as well and even though I have forgiven, it does not change the pain at this point. Early separation makes total sense for me.
Peregrinus : I have severe trauma, sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect, rape, emotional abuse all through my childhood. I have been in a lot of therapy through the years and have forgiven everyone, I can say that with 100% truth. I got my life together 7 years ago and I no longer suffer depression, but that is when all this chronic pain began. I always get frustrated when I hear about forgiveness, because I don’t know how else to do it other than the process I have done! I have no hard feelings, I pray for my abusers (one of them is my father and he is dead) and I really do believe I have forgiven.
Wavy Soul: Thank you that is a great testimony!
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Birdie78
Germany
145 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 08:48:29
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Mchan: even if you don't feel so, I think you are a very, very strong person! I got some love from my aunt and my stepmother and - never the less - often really feel "lost in space". You rose yourself up without love and support and: YOU ARE STILL ALIVE, you survived! I knew people who didn't survive a childhood like yours. It would be great if you could use this engergy and power which kept you alive for healing! A few weeks ago I posted some questions about the feeling of inner emptiness and senselessness, don't know if you read it but would be interesting to me if you also ever experienced these feelings/"non-feelings"?
Shawnsmith: I didn't journal till now - I feel some kind of resistance. But I think the resistance shows me that I should do it! Thanx for the good advice!!!
Kind regards from Germany sends Birdie |
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Peregrinus
250 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 09:08:54
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Birdie:
Thanks for sharing your story: It took a lot of courage to do that. You are a remarkable person. Sometimes we are able to completely suppress the anger or rage or disappointment we harbor for others. Nevertheless forgiving them and affirming that we are O.K. (as Ace1 instructs) can be of great benefit.
I hope things improve for you soon!
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 09:18:59
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| Dear Mchan, Your mind you can say is sensitized from all the abuse, and your history. I believe you have forgiven your offenders, but based on your story of how you are reacting to your day, it is very obvious what is causing your symptoms. You have learned to react to things that happen in life with more intensity than the average person based on how you were sensitized as a child. Therefore, you need to do thing now with more ease and relaxation. Use affirmations to help you achiev this goal when caught in similar situations in the future. Look at my keys to recovery. |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 11:31:13
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mchan
Your schedule and the many demands placed upon you would be enough to enrage the most patient person. You have a lot of people -- your children and husband, and only you know who else -- who are always taking from you and demanding that their needs be met, but no one is taking care of you. You are continually expected to jump when people want something from you and you are also expected to do it with a cheery disposition. What can be more enraging? You want to do the right thing and not complain (goodism) but inside you want to tell them all off and stop being so damn selfish and do things for themselves. It is hard to admit certain things about yourself that you don't see overly flattering, but in the end you are a human being with limitations.
I think also that you may feel a bit trapped and you had other hopes, dreams and aspirations for your life than what it is right now-- taking care of everyone else -- and that may be making you feel really resentful. Also, you look in the mirror and see that you are not getting any younger and, according to Dr. Sarno, aging is a BIG source of TMS as you don't like getting old and are afraid no one will be there to take care of you when you are no longer to take care of yourself..
Think about these things a bit, but in the meantime carry on with your life and don't freak out overt the symptoms, even though I know they can be rather distressing. |
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Feels like I have been working out hard...
