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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
 Posted - 11/28/2012 : 12:03:20
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Dear shawn,
In my experience, the people who really heal, dont need to change their lives and just the mear recognition that your angry is not enough to change symptoms especially if they are as severe mchan's. She actually just needs to react differently on an internal level. It is good for her to recognize that she is reacting, bc alot of this is so habitual, it is easy to ignore or not be aware. After awareness there has to be a change. No more living on the edge or in fear, in a rush, or hyped up and anxious about whats happening. Just acting instead of reacting with intensity. I have cured many people and there is not one person with a lasting effect who didn't change what we are talking about here. Good luck to all |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 12:38:05
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Ace1
I never understood much of your last message-- it was a bit confusing for me and a bit contradictory. But maybe I am reading you incorrectly so please forgive me for that. There are cases when people have to remove themselves from their immediate situation, but you are correct when you say most people people don't have to change anything about their lives or who they are as a person.
Just a little disagreement from me when you say, "I have cured many people." People actually cure themselves. |
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mchan
USA
75 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 13:32:19
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| I am grateful for your help, I did read your post ACE, I just need to do it. I am doing so much , I need to DO in the moment, I mean change my anxiety. It seems to rush up on its own, inwardly without though. Affirmations next on my list! |
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mchan
USA
75 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 13:37:00
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| ACE: I forgot to mention, My last physical therapist described me as a very INTENSE person.. so its a learned personality trait I acquired to survive. Can we change our innate personality traits? |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 15:41:06
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“People are disturbed not by a thing, but by their perception of a thing.”
Epictetus.
I think I'm agreed with Ace1, most of us can not change how we live our life or stop things from happening in our life. We just have to accept things as they come and change our perception toward them. Mchan sure has a very challenging and demanding life, but so are millions of people around the world.
I know of an old Korean lady who was a sex slave to the Japanese army in ww2. She survived the war, raise 6 kids on her own after her husband died from an accident when she was pregnant with her last kid. She raise the kids well and live a healthy life and passed away peacefully in her sleep at the age of 85.
I have seen countless of orphaned kids who had a very rough, traumatic young life in Vietnam, who grown up and became productive, happy, and healthy members of society.
It happened before in another post and I hope It doesn't happen again here. I'm not trivialize what mchan and others went through. I'm only trying to say that many of us have it tough but there are thousand have it much worse than we had. We can either be a victim for the rest of our life and blame our past for our problems or we can choose to rise above all and have a healthy, peaceful, and happy life. I know we can all do it. I know we as human are capable of achieving it. I have seen it done thousand and thousand of time. We are much more strong than we think. We human have survive million of years and rule the world not for being the strongest, we did it for being the creature with the most powerful mind. All we have to do is take control of it. Take control of our mind.
Refuse to fear, to affraid of any thing.
Do everything with ease, with calmness, with peace like Ace1 said.
proud of yourself mchan, you have done a wonderful job as a mom and wife. Your body, your health deserve some reward, and the best reward you can give yourself is having a peaceful and content mind. Feed your mind only good, positive thoughts. Elliminate everything negative from your mind as soon as it appear. It will take sometime but with practice, with perseverance you will be able to take back control of your mind. Don't let it wander aimlessly without guidance, if you do it only produce negative emotion.
I've spend a month in a small farming town in Northeast Thailand a few years ago. I saw the farmer working hard every day in the field. They raise many kids in house build from bamboo that have no running water or electric or indoor toilet. They have a rough life with no saving, not health insurance, no this and that... but they are always happy. They always have a smile on their face and they don't seem to have any tms/anxiety problem like we do here in the West.
I've seen the same with the factory workers in Vietnam, the garment workers in Bangladesh, the sugarcane farmers in brazil....
If they have so little and they can be healthy and happy, why can we?
We can, all we have to do is change our perception to things that happen to us.
Jesus got no house, no job, no health insurance, no nothing and he was still happy. He said:
"Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 19:27:29
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| Mchan, it is he affirmations that help us to accomplish the change in the ways we react, but they do take time to work. This is why I have said they are the most important part of my recovery. |
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mchan
USA
75 Posts |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 22:11:55
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Balto: I have been on mission trips in Mexico and worked with sex slaves, I know and ponder how most of the world suffers much more than I have. I was never a "victim" willingly. I mean I did not choose to feel depressed and suicidal from the age of 5 and up, after the abuse with my father started. It was not a conscious choice I made to act as a victim or to be depressed about it. As I got older I did indeed try everything I could to be happy no matter what was in my past, and I do still to this day. I have rid myself of the depression finally, but now my body cries out. I am not sure why it does not for those women and those people who have been through so much more. This is actually a reason I doubt TMS at points. I have thought WHY can other people suffer SO much more than I and still not suffer in body like I am? Is a personality thing? My unconscious thoughts or rage about it? I mean do they not have rage about it in their culture? This is what leads me to believe my pain is a actual autoimmune, tissue disorder that is ONE theory of the bladder disease I have. I actually never thought about any of my abuse until a few years ago because I tried to leave it all in my past and move on, but the anxiety and depression forced me to look back. I do not think it’s healthy to stay there. I like the idea of affirmations to change the way my brain perceives the abuse. There is something to a loving environment though, no matter what culture you live in. Even though there is abuse, extreme in some cases in other cultures, there is more community focus. In America I feel we are all left to ourselves, there is something healing in living in community that I feel we lack here.
Love Wins. |
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eric watson
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - 11/29/2012 : 05:37:48
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| keep doing the work/believe it with all your heart/never doubt-believe even while your doubting if you have to-ask questions-any thing- (if we have time to calm doun and relax,thats when were hit with tms)-(this explains the different countrys)-(but for us who live in the u.s., we have to desensitize like ace is saying-were a tensed nation-maybe from to much time to think)- its hard to explain belief/dont give up/never give up on this tms program-you will win and youll be on here just like me soon -saying the same thing-let the belief become a part of you |
Edited by - eric watson on 11/29/2012 07:17:40 |
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andy64tms
USA
589 Posts |
Posted - 11/29/2012 : 13:25:15
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Hi Mchan,
You wrote:
My last physical therapist described me as a very INTENSE person, so it’s a learned personality trait I acquired to survive. Can we change our innate personality traits?
Being intense can be looked upon by some as an asset, it means you are more focused than most. I think it is how this intensity affects you that matters. We become intense by taking on more than we can cope with and end up rushing, getting anxious, and then angry.
I would think it’s hard to change your basic “innate” personality, and why should you? You recognized that you are INTENSE, and actually wrote the word in Caps, some never admit it! I would pick one or two of Aces affirmations to become more relaxed throughout the whole day. On a practical level you could make lists, become a better planner to ease your hectic days. Of course the 1st lines on the list should be Aces affirmations, as to write them out makes them more concrete.
Mchan, like me I read you have overcome drugs, smoking, despair and separation. You have much past strength to reflect on, and you have much more inside, as you are stronger than you think. Hugs
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Back on Wiki Edu Program day 15
Charlie Horse on neck for 20 years. (to be evicted later.)
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
Edited by - andy64tms on 11/29/2012 13:40:15 |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 11/29/2012 : 20:46:56
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quote:
Originally posted by mchan
Balto: I have been on mission trips in Mexico and worked with sex slaves, I know and ponder how most of the world suffers much more than I have. I was never a "victim" willingly. I mean I did not choose to feel depressed and suicidal from the age of 5 and up, after the abuse with my father started. It was not a conscious choice I made to act as a victim or to be depressed about it. As I got older I did indeed try everything I could to be happy no matter what was in my past, and I do still to this day. I have rid myself of the depression finally, but now my body cries out. I am not sure why it does not for those women and those people who have been through so much more. This is actually a reason I doubt TMS at points. I have thought WHY can other people suffer SO much more than I and still not suffer in body like I am? Is a personality thing? My unconscious thoughts or rage about it? I mean do they not have rage about it in their culture? This is what leads me to believe my pain is a actual autoimmune, tissue disorder that is ONE theory of the bladder disease I have. I actually never thought about any of my abuse until a few years ago because I tried to leave it all in my past and move on, but the anxiety and depression forced me to look back. I do not think it’s healthy to stay there. I like the idea of affirmations to change the way my brain perceives the abuse. There is something to a loving environment though, no matter what culture you live in. Even though there is abuse, extreme in some cases in other cultures, there is more community focus. In America I feel we are all left to ourselves, there is something healing in living in community that I feel we lack here.
Love Wins.
hi Mchan, none of us willingly want to be a victic. We did it without realizing we're doing it. We did it by allowing our thoughts to just happen without any control from us. When our thought wander aimlessly or when our mind is allow to go free without any good guidance from us, it will automaticly focus on the worse, focus on the negatives, focus on the terrible past. Either God or evolution designed human to be like that in order to survive for million of years. Our goal should be to take back control of our mind, to make it think more about the good thing in life. To make it more positive, more compassionate toward ourself, more acceptance toward our problems. We need to make changes to the way we think or to our life so that we can achieve peace and happiness.
And you are very right about the important of community and social life. Human are herd animals. We need to be with other (understanding and positive) human being. We need to reach out to other, get involve more, open the door more... do thing that attract other positive, loving people into our live. Good emotional support from people we care about are powerful enough to help us overcome almost any emotional challenge in life.
There are many other tools out there that help us take back control of our mind. Meditation and yoga has been proven to help keep us calm and help prove to us that our mind can be control by us, we just need some practice. Positive affirmation and visuallization can help us see the good things in life and more readily embrace more peaceful thoughts.
Use all the tools that are available to you. They are there to help you conquer your fear and to show you that life is much more than just being a victim.
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
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mchan
USA
75 Posts |
Posted - 11/30/2012 : 08:43:51
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Andy64tms: Congrats to you on conquering all that! I was “taught” there was no way to do it without AA or NA, and tried it many years ago but did not find it worked. I remember in rehab years ago them telling us the “cure” rate for addiction was only 2%, and that most of us would be back. Something did not sit right with me about that! Thank God they were totally wrong!
Balto: “Our goal should be to take back control of our mind, to make it think more about the good thing in life. To make it more positive, more compassionate toward ourself, more acceptance toward our problems. We need to make changes to the way we think or to our life so that we can achieve peace and happiness.” – good word!
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Love Wins. |
Edited by - mchan on 12/01/2012 09:42:56 |
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andy64tms
USA
589 Posts |
Posted - 11/30/2012 : 10:10:26
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Hi Mchan,
Actually I went to AA over a period of one month or so, I was so s**hit scared I’d end up like them. This is what did it for me. A pretty good investment, a few hours of mind changing therapy for 28 years of sobriety and happiness.
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Back on Wiki Edu Program day 15
Charlie Horse on neck for 20 years. (to be evicted later.)
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
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mchan
USA
75 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2013 : 17:48:04
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This is old but I had to come back and tell people, all my muscle pain and bladder pain got better following a low oxalate diet. I was having blood in my urine and my urologist gave me a test and it turns out I had a very high amount of oxalates. If you want to know more look up what they are, but I do not digest them correctly. I am totally pain free in my joints and muscles unless I eat chocolate or something high in oxalates. I do think TMS is real and I could still have issues with it but at least SOME of my symptoms were not TMS related. If anyone on here has IC Interstitial cystitis, that is not helped by TMS look into oxalates!
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Love Wins. |
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Feels like I have been working out hard...
