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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
 Posted - 03/26/2007 : 09:53:15
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| I hear you, ALexis and agree..That is why this whole thing hurt me so badly..Art was one of my best pals on here.. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 10:12:41
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Art,
I will take that as an apology, I think...I agree that you didn't directly call me those names, but indirectly you did and it hurt...In any case, you know I care about you as a person and do not want to have controversy with you either...So, Peace it is...I will let it go...I may have to deal with some attacks from tt now and that is never pleasant..
Hugs back,
Karen
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 10:18:27
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"I love that. But before you take Tom's post too personally, I actually suspect he's also trying to make an artificial wedge between Art and myself, because he thinks we're in some sort of gang war against him. Some sort of funny little "divide and conquer" tactic, I guess."
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Actually, I never gave that a thought, but there could be something going on in my unconscious, this IS the TMS board after all.
By the way, have you read TDM yet?
In closing, it pays to read the GOOD DOCTOR (and me) slowly.
Regards,
tt |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 10:23:29
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"I may have to deal with some attacks from tt now and that is never pleasant.."
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That never entered my mind either, but I will do my best to oblige if it pleases you.
Beast Wishes,
tt |
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FlyByNight
Canada
209 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 10:45:45
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Geezzz ... This is definitely elementary school ...
At least it makes me begining to understand what Monte Hueftle talk in his book about the various ways of repressing ones feelings ...
Karen, you know I understanand and share your pain in many ways , But I definitely do not see anything positive for yourself and for others to become defensive in such a way nor in trying to encourage ppl to defend your point. The only thing it will produce is increasing your personal pain & frustration without addressing its real cause. Honestly, I really think youd better just trust yourself and stop taking so personally critics coming from others. Here i make reference to bad AND good criticism at the same time.... We all know that being sensitive to criticism is a fundamental TMS personality trait, the need for recognition from others.
This will be my last post on this thread.
Please let me recall that the title of this thread is "good stress" not "food fight".
P. |
Edited by - FlyByNight on 03/26/2007 11:10:40 |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 11:28:36
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FlyByNight,
You have a point...However,,,I did not do this to seek recognition...I merely wrote a post about the affects of even good stressors in our lives and just shared some good news...I am not trying to get people to defend my point, I am just making my point...I owned that I am overly sensitive already and Art and I made amends...This did get out of hand, and again...I admitted to my part in that happening...I am not perfect, nobody is..I am a human being with feelings and my feelings were hurt and I reacted...It did not have to turn into such a huge thread like it did...I am saddened that something I started innocently turned sour...But I am still VERY GRATEFUL to those who did not over-react to my post and gave me some very helpful feedback and support...
God bless and hugs,
Karen |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 11:51:13
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"...I am still VERY GRATEFUL to those who did not over-react..."
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People reacted, the over--reaction is your mind's doing. |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 12:38:08
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I can't tell if this would be an example of a healthy forum with our share of, lets call them energetic, well-intentioned discussions, or a totally dysfunctional one with too much anger being thrown carelessly around and posters fearful of being attacked...
In the end, I guess it doesn't matter what I call it. It is what it is, and most of us generally end up getting the help we need...
So that's the good news... |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 16:07:45
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I agree that the over-reaction was in my mind, absolutely..I behaved immaturely as well...I own that...But I also believe that Art over-reacted and distorted my intentions as well, and hurtful things were said, whether intentionally or not...I went in and edited my ridiculously long post wherein I spilled my guts...I am ashamed of that post, I don't know what possessed me to get that personal on the internet...But I do regret it, and so I edited out what I felt was over the top and re-wrote parts of it as well...I am going to chose to focus on the beginning of this thread, wherein, some wonderful people gave me their much valued opinions and support...
God bless and hugs,
Karen |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 16:31:02
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Karen, here's something...You must know going in, based on certain negative reactions in the past to these sorts of posts, that someone might squawk..
In every forum that I've ever been a part of, soliciting business, or trying to make sales, or commercial self promotion of any kind is either explicitly prohibited, or vigorously discouraged...I'm sure you can understand why that would be..
Now I know you weren't selling anything in this post, and I also know you couched the whole thing in TMS terms, but the essential purpose was to get people onto your website and have them vote on their favorite painting....
I'm simply asking here, can you see how that might strike someone as a tad inappropriate?
Please don't be angry with me...I think now that the initial emotional reactions have died down now might be a good time for a follow up discussion...
EDit: I actually wish I'd framed my response more along the above lines in the first place...And you know, none of us is innocent...While I think on the one hand it's unfair of Sonora to call me a hypocrite...I never tried to sell anything, or promote myself professionally in any way.. But I did ask for help outside the realm of TMS, and while rereading that post, I realized there were certain narcissistic overtones that I don't like in just the wording of the thing...Which of course goes a long way toward explaining my visceral response when I see, or think I see that tendency in others (not talking about you Karen, just speaking in general terms... |
Edited by - art on 03/26/2007 16:49:45 |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 16:56:50
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Art,
Yes I can see your point now...But again,,,you are still misunderstanding my intentions...I promise you I was not trying to PROMOTE MYSELF...I was merely asking for opinions on a big decision I need to make...Why must everything be soooo read into?...It was not as layered as you think...My GOAL was not to get people to my website, really it wasn't...It was to get their OPINIONS on which one I should chose and to SHARE the good news...They would have to go to my website to make a choice on which one they think I should chose...that is all...
I was not expecting or hoping for any sales...Please stop putting intentions in me that are not there!...I have 2 exhibitions going on locally now, I am currently working on a commission and the magazine article is coming out soon...That is where more business will come from, not here...I don't need to promote myself on a TMS forum...But I do value people's opinion on here and it feels like a sort of cyber-family to me and so the child in me wanted to tell everyone the good news...Please let it go at that..I have no reason to lie about my intentions..I am the first to admit when I am wrong...But, in this case, I still don't see how my original post warranted sooo much controversy...
Take care,
Karen |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 17:42:32
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quote:
That is where more business will come from, not here...I don't need to promote myself on a TMS forum...But I do value people's opinion on here and it feels like a sort of cyber-family to me and so the child in me wanted to tell everyone the good news...Please let it go at that..I have no reason to lie about my intentions..I am the first to admit when I am wrong...But, in this case, I still don't see how my original post warranted sooo much controversy...
Tell ya what....I could respond to that, but because you asked me not to, I won't...other than to say I know you aren't lying about your intentions...In fact, I never said or even implied that you were...
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 18:29:48
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Here is a great website to visit:
www.karenwallo.com
*************
Sarno-ize it!
************* |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 19:22:04
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| You are a sweetheart, Shawn...thank you...:)) |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 19:29:12
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Originally posted by shawnsmith
quote:
Here is a great website to visit:
www.karenwallo.com
I could be wrong, but I'm guessing that even Karen might not particularly appreciate that. Though as I said, I might be wrong. Certainly wouldn't be the first time. Maybe she'll tell us. EDit: Clearly I was wrong and to be perfectly honest, I couldn't be more disappointed..
That aside, when you asked me what I was angry about Shawn, it seemed out of left field, but I took the query at face value and tried my best to give you a heartfelt and sincere response..I see now that my first instinct was probably correct. TT talks a lot about projection, and while I disagree with him a lot of the time, he's absolutely right about how many of us are led astray by it....You asked, "why are you so angry" with no real evidence...Now I see why...The anger in your post couldn't be clearer...
At the same time, I cringed at what I saw as a certain kind of selfishness in this thread...I'm not afraid to look into myself to see what part my own emotions and tendency toward projection played in my original reaction..
What about you? |
Edited by - art on 03/26/2007 19:31:02 |
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Curiosity18
USA
141 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 20:19:42
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Art,
You got to give it up. She's never going to get it. You've done a heroic effort, however!
Curiosity |
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sonora sky
USA
181 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 21:49:05
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quote:
Originally posted by sonora sky
quote:
Originally posted by art
You know I love ya Karen, but this bothers me. It strikes me as a not very good use of the TMS forum because it seems mainly a device for getting attention.
..it strikes me as essentially selfish...all about one person, which in this case is you. Again, there's nothing wrong with this particularly, but it does feel to me there's a better, higher use of forum space.
Your posts struck me as odd, and now I remember why. It's the hypocrisy of it:
http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2427
How can you attack someone else for something you yourself have done in the not-too-distant past?
ss
Just to clarify, and because it has been brought up since I posted this statement, I did not "call art a hypocrite." I know this may seem a fine line, but my intention was to point out that certain statements made by art, specifically referring to selfishness and the "proper" use of the forum (above), combined with his previous action (using the forum to post a job), made his posting on this thread a hypocritical "act," if you will. An incident of hypocrisy. Excuses, explanations, qualifications, and motivations aside, the above facts remain. Art felt that I used strong words, but for pete's sake, I didn't slap him with a scarlet "H"! (Though now that I picture it...) In other words, I did not mean to imply that this was a defining character trait of art's. Every one of us is hypocritical at one time or another; it's one of the foibles of being human.
My intention was not to take sides, it was simply to point out a flaw when I saw it.
ss
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 23:16:11
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Curiousity,
"She's never going to get it?" I do have a name, it's Karen. I already told Art that I see his point, however, for things to get THIS OUT OF HAND IS SOOOO RIDICULOUS I CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE IT! I think Shawn was trying to point out the utter ridiculousness of all this banter about my post by re-posting my website address...He may be trying to point out the harmlessness of my original post, and how utterly out of proportion this has become...THAT is why I was thanking him...not as a way of getting back at anyone else...That is not my style...
What started out as light and fun for some of us turned into a nightmare...And still Art,,,just as I thought there was PEACE between us, again you say how disappointed you are in me (sounds like another JUDGEMENT CALL)...
For goodness sakes, I was sharing about something POSITIVE in my life and wanted a few opinions...BIG FREAKING DEAL!!?! I was more open to seeing your point of view, Art..until I just read what you wrote and how Curiousity rudely talked about me in the THIRD PERSON! This is borderline silly, truly...
There are people on here who really need help with TMS...And I wanted to DISCUSS the AFFECTS of POSITIVE STRESS ON TMS even in this post, in addition to getting opinions about which painting to chose...
I NEVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS wanted to spend this much time on my post! I am not solely responsible for how out of hand this has become! I think Shawn could easily ask ANYONE on here that is reacting strongly "What they are truly angry about??" Including myself!!! Just as I feel that I am getting over all this, I open it to read something ELSE that is over the top! Talk about having something nice Kill Joyed!...WOW...this is a record breaker! I thank those who were supportive, once again..and those who didn't chime in on the gang war...Is this ever going to end?? IF and I say IF my original intent was to get publicity for my paintings, that is sure happening as this thread keeps going on and on far longer then I ever wanted it to! You know the old saying "The punishment doesn't fit the crime (judgement)????" Think about it! Wow! |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2007 : 23:33:46
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Thanks Shortcake! I really appreciate that...:)) I cannot say I blame you for asking that question...It is a very good one! And I also can see why you would ask that no one come after you for what you said...I feel like I am LITERALLY WALKING ON EGGSHELLS HERE NOW...It shouldn't be like that...Life is too short and we are all suffering with enough pain as it is...
Hugs and God bless you!
Karen |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2007 : 00:39:36
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Oh dear God, can't we save our energies for something really important like...global warming?  |
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"Good" Stress
