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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
 Posted - 12/25/2004 : 21:54:25
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Carol,
Thanks for your help. No, I haven't tried Meclizine and I probably won't. I have a horrible fear of taking meds (it makes me feel out of control) ever since I had a major panic attack while on medication years ago. Most of the people I read about who suffered from vertigo after travel said they tried Meclizine and it did nothing at all to help, in fact some said it made it worse. My symptoms are pretty manageable. I know this is all completely stress related and everything you said is absolutely true. The other night I was having dinner with my friend and her mom and we were talking about a former friend of ours that did some bad stuff to us both. I kept feeling the rocking sensation, and I usually don't get it like that while I'm sitting down. I know it was completely stress induced because talking about this person makes my skin crawl.
Anyway, thanks again for relating your story and I'm going to take your advice. I've got to go get ready for my road trip, which is departing in about 12 hours.
Happy New Year and I wish everyone good health in 2005!
Laura
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Ginag
51 Posts |
Posted - 12/27/2004 : 11:26:50
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Laura, Sure hope your holidays went better than mine. As usual, my mother managed to ruin the family's Christmas Day with one of her angry outbursts over an imaginary slight. The difference this time is that I left her home alone and went to my son's home as planned for dinner. This is the first time I ever did something this mean (but well-deserved). I told her that if she continues to behave so horribly, I was looking into moving her into her own apartment and I would contribute to the rent. She didn't like that at all and that's probably the only reason she didn't "flip out" when we left her home alone.
For once, I was able to fully enjoy being with my children without her there. I will admit that I did get a momentary vertigo attack during the afternoon but I knew exactly what caused it and it passed immediately. I think the reason the constant imbalance doesn't go away is because my mother doesn't go away!!! That thought occurred to me when I read Carol's account of her attacks when she was having trouble with her boss. As her relationship with boss improved, so did her symptoms. Lucky you, Carol. My problem is that I know if I get my mother her own apartment, she would be calling us fifty times a day to come over and help her for one thing or another. Yet, she isn't bad enough to be put in a home. I can help with rent for her but I could afford to get her in an assisted-living facility which is probably what she needs. Well, at least I can vent on this site. It certainly helps. Gina |
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Carol
91 Posts |
Posted - 12/29/2004 : 17:30:06
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Hi Gina. I am absolutely convinced that most of our problems with TMS involve relationships, whether with mothers, children, bosses, or co-workers. Unfortunatly we will always have them to deal with. I think that the fact that you were able to banish vertigo, and then stand up to your mother, bodes well for your recovery though. As Dr. Sarno says, usually understanding why we have the attacks is enough.
However, although my vertigo/dizziness responded well to the TMS approach, I have not been as successful with my pain problems. I think they are connected with problems I have with my two daughters. Like your mother, they are not going away anytime soon. I am working hard to make the connection in my unconscious so I can banish the pain as I banished the vertigo/dizziness. I have improved, but have a long way to go. A recent problem with one of the daughters resulted in a severe pain episode which has shaken my confidence. I have lots of work to do.
Keep working on the problem with your mother whenever you feel the dizziness, and hopefully your brain will finally "get it", and you can get beyond it. I am using the same approach to try to lick my body pain. Good luck to you, and to me too!
Carol |
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Ginag
51 Posts |
Posted - 12/30/2004 : 10:50:06
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| Carol, How long have you been suffering with the pain? Is it off and on or pretty constant?? I'm so impressed with your success with the dizziness. But to now suffer with another affliction is a real bummer. Occassionally, I suffer with extreme backpain but I've also proven to myself that it is part of the Sarno Syndrome. Four years ago, my husband and I were leaving our home in New York to relocate to Arizona. It was a scary move for me. Ten days before the move, I woke up one morning with back pain so bad that I was in bed 3 days, flat on my back. I was really apprehensive about the move and since I didn't do anything strenuous, it just had to be TMS. The mind is a truly magnificent organ but unfortunately, we know almost nothing about it. Having the ability of distracting us from what is truly bothering us is just too wild to contemplate!!! And yet, I don't doubt what Dr. Sarno believes. I just wish he would come out with another book relating his recent cases and findings. I think a lot of us would benefit from more books rather than rereading the same ones by him. Carol, I sure hope Laura is doing OK with her visit with her mother and sister. I truly sympathize with her also. It's pretty obvious to all 3 of us, who and what is giving us our symptoms - but why isn't that enough to eliminate them???? If the acknowledgment is enough to cure some, why not others??? You cured yourself from the dizziness, and Laura and I would give my eye teeth to accomplish that. My back pain doesn't last for long and I'm puzzled as to why the pain doesn't disappear for you like the dizziness did. Strange..... Gina |
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Carol
91 Posts |
Posted - 01/01/2005 : 13:33:59
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I've been plagued with back pain for over five years now. I am 65 and never had a bit of pain, back or anywhere else, until my husband was diagnosed with cancer. While I was going through the diagnostic process, and eventual major surgery with him I began to have pain in my left hip and a twitching behind my left knee. I was much too busy to deal with it then, so I just ignored it and did what had to be done, until after he had recovered from his surgery. Then, when I should have been feeling so much better, I started crying at the least little thing. I was baffled so I took advantage of my employee assistance program and talked about it with a counselor. Turned out I was really angry about some things that occurred during the whole ordeal, not the least of which was that I was totally alone in a strange city while he had the surgery, with nobody to hold my hand. I am a very independent person who "can handle anything", and I never let on to friends and family how upset I was. Anyway, some counseling and medication put me back on track. Then, of course, the pain got worse so I finally went to a doctor.
diagnosis was trochanter tendonitis and a torn or strained hamstring (which the doctor determined by pushing behind the knee and having me say "ouch"!) I was sent to a physical therapist, who watched me sit, stand, and do "everything wrong". He said, oh so helpfully, that he thought that my real problem was in my back. Sure enough, within two weeks my hip pain and "hamstring tear or strain" were totally gone and I started having back pain. Then tingling on the inside of my left thigh and inside of my left calf area. I was referred to a neurologist, who did his diabolical test (emg), which I highly recommend that nobody ever get! His conslusion was L4 stenosis. Cortisone, pills, and REIKI gave no relief. It wasn't until I came across Dr. Sarno's books while researching back pain that I saw myself in every description of onset, etc.
I have always believed that most of the physical symptoms in my life were related to life stresses, so I have always been able to defeat them. I think the problem with the back pain is that deep inside I can't forget the results of the EMG and the stenosis diagnosis, even though a subsequent MRI was reported by the radiologist as normal for my age, with no disc problems or nerve impingements.
At one point the pain did almost totally disappear, but then I encountered another life crisis and now I am right back where I started, and really struggling. My husband continues to do well, but I have two daughters who need help in various ways, both financial and physical. We have worked hard and saved our money so we won't be a burden to our children. We are both in our mid-60s and semi-retired. We want to start to enjoy what we have earned and we are faced with new demands on our time and money. I would do anything for my children and grandchildren, but I think anger over this situation is responsible for the increased pain. I'm working hard on beating it though. If I could just get past the image of a defective spine. I really admire the people with herniated discs who have defeated their symptoms.
I really do believe that you have the vertigo on the run. If you continue to tell your brain to cut the s---!, I think you can defeat it. I also have to tell you that sitting here and typing out my story has resulted in a big drop in back pain. Mabe I need to journal the story to myself every day until it really sinks in that I have a NORMAL spine.
Carol |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 01/01/2005 : 19:47:58
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Carol,
Your story mirrors my TMS experience. Various diagnosis with the pain always settling into the latest one. Thanks for sharing your story, it helped me feel better.
Happy New Year! Hope we make a lot of breakthroughs in the coming year. |
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 01/02/2005 : 23:11:51
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Dear Gina,
Well, I'm back from my trip and omg, what a trip it was!!!!! My mother really outdid herself this time. I could totally relate to your "holiday" story and how your mother was behaving. First of all, I'd gotten my parents each two really nice gifts and a whole bunch of other "goodies" they enjoy, that we can only get here at a store in California. I handed them their huge bag of stuff when we arrived and they said thanks and put it in their car. The next day, I asked "Did you open your gifts?" to which my mother said "yes, thanks" in a very ungrateful, unenthusiastic way. I asked "Did the sweater fit you?" and she replied "No, it is way too short. And don't you know I'm allergic to rabbit hair." Unbelieveable. My daughters and I had stood in the store to get it and they were so excited to buy her this stupid lime green sweater because we all thought it looked like something she would like. She said nothing about the gorgeous leather purse or the chocolate and other items we had picked up that we knew she loved. Later, when I asked my father if his sweater fit I got the same type of reaction..."Yes, but your mother's isn't. It is way too short for her and don't you know she can't wear that type of sweater?" I asked my mother if she would bring it to my sister's (the place where we were hanging out part of the time) and I could return it and get her something else. Or, I suggested, she could return it to the same store in Texas and choose something else she liked better. My husband totally picked up on the whole thing and was astonished at her behavior. He commented on the drive home, "It's obvious your mother could care less about that stupid sweater." She never gave it back to me to return so I guess it will just sit in her closet and never be worn.
What is amazing to me is that her behavior never gets any better, in fact it is getting worse, but in my mind I'm always somehow hoping she'll change. My dad was not any better at all. My husband is officially quitting his job of 20 years in two days and we will no longer have a steady check coming in. We also no longer have insurance and have to fork out $700 a month for Cobra. It's very nerve wracking and although he has his new career as a loan officer, it is purely commission and it's very scary. It cost us over $600 in gas plus food and hotels so the trip wasn't cheap. I thought he would offer to pay for something because he usually does. But I think the low point for me was when we were sitting at dinner a couple nights before we left Texas and my husband and I were not hungry so we said "The kids will have something and we'll just have a drink." My dad then proceeded to tell the waitress to put everyone on one tab (including my sister and her kids and my brother's son) and "put those four (us) on a separate check." In other words, he could pay for everyone at the table but me and my family. Our bill was under $20 and my dad definitely has the money (he's loaded). I just felt so angry I wanted to punch him out.
But the thing that ticked me off the most during this whole fiasco was that I found out that something I had told my mother in strict confidence she turned around and told everyone in the family. I found this out New Years Eve, driving home from my sister's house. My daughter, who is 15, told me that my 19 year old nephew (my brother was back at home in Michigan) told her he knew all about an incident that occurred recently wherein she had an alcholic drink. When the incident happened a few weeks ago, I called my mom in tears because I had absolutely no one to turn to outside the family and needed to talk to someone. My daughter had been at a friend's house and was being watched by her friend's 19 year old sister. The big sister offered the girls alcohol and went to far as to make a list and go get the stuff. My daughter had a can of beer and we have spoken to her about it and she has vowed that she did it once and is not interested in drinking. I trust my daughter and I know her pretty well and I believe her. It turns out my mother told my nephew about it and told him to "watch her" and make sure she didn't get into my sister's "liquor cabinet" while they were all babysitting for my sister's kids on New Years. Unbelieveable!!!
I'm so angry at my parents I can't see straight. Last night, on the drive home, I got out of the car and was feeling really dizzy and like I was rocking. I thought my vertigo was coming back worse which provoked more anxiety and thus more vertigo. Today, I am back home and I have no vertigo. Maybe getting really angry and blowing off steam to my family helped. My daughters do not want to spend any time near my parents and are nauseated by both of them. In fact, they have both said that they think my parents are "mean" and that they feel sorry for me if that's how they were when I was growing up. I have explained to them that they were worse back then but I think it helps to have someone on your side just so you know you're not crazy, they are.
I'm sorry for going on for so long on this but the past week has not been easy. I'm ready to try Carol's approach and I'm ready for 2005 to be a year of good health!!! Gina, I feel for you because if I had to spend another second with my mother I'd go completely insane. The last thing she said to our family was not "have a safe trip home" but "I hope you don't get killed in a horrible accident." What a fruit loop!
Anyway, hang in there Gina and Happy New Year to all!
Laura
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Ginag
51 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2005 : 12:15:58
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Laura, Was truly, truly sorry to hear about your family visit. I wondered how you were doing, hoping it was better than my experience. Like they say, Laura, we can pick our friends but not our family. I'm just very happy you were able to shake the vertigo so quickly. Great for you!!! Did you sound off to your parents after their insensitive and horrendous behavior??? You didn't elaborate on that. I find when I don't sound off to my mother, I suffer dizziness and imbalance much worse. Although I don't look forward to confronting my mother, and all that ensues, there are times when I just have to let off steam or I know I will be so enraged that I will suffer for days.
I'm so happy that you don't have to subject you and your family to such behavior on a regular basis. How did your sister behave in view of the obvious slights thrown at you?? Does she acknowledge what you go through? Well, at least you have the emotional support of your husband and children. As you said, it enforces the fact that you are legitimately justified in being angry.
That being said, now all you have to do is accept that fact that not all parents are wonderful, and that people, like you and I, have to learn to accept the fact that we were short-changed in that department. I know one thing, I will NEVER be that way to my 2 sons!!! And you should be ever-so-thankful that your parents live far away in Texas. I sincerely wish you and your family a wonderful 2005, and maybe, our corresponding in this forum will result in improvement of our mutual dizziness. Gina |
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Ginag
51 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2005 : 12:33:08
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Carol, After reading your last reply, it seems very obvious to me that you have a very legitimate reason to be angry and thus, suffer from TMS. Isn't it odd that when we correspond with each other, the other person is so insightful to the other person's problem but slow on the uptake with their own problem?? In yours, mine and Laura's instances, it seems that we have proven that our TMS is definitely precipitated by a specific occurrence. However, we're STUCK on how to banish it from our everyday existence. I know how you feel when you keep thinking about the previous tests you took. Sometimes I also think I have some real kind of ear problem because I was always getting ear pain with my frequent bouts of tonsillitis. But then I stop and think - why should my imbalance worsen just because I'm furious at my mother?? There MUST be a connection!!!
Just think - we have a whole new year to explore and contemplate such mysteries with each other. Happy New Year to Everyone!!! |
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Carol
91 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2005 : 17:58:51
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Laura and Gina, it makes me furious to hear about parents like yours. They have loving and caring children. I simply don't understand how parents can treat their children like that. I also had problems with my parents, which I won't get into. They are both dead and it serves no purpose to rehash our relationships, but I have never been able to shed a tear over my father's death. That fact makes me sad, but I can't change what he was in life.
If I thought that my children might feel that way about me it would break my heart. They are all so important to me that I can't even put it into words. That being said, it has been hard to uncover the things in our relationships that were/are causing me problems because they are much more subtle. My children are all adults, and most have children of their own. The grandchildren are such a joy. Again, I can't imagine grandparents acting like your parents do, and risking losing the love of the little ones!
Do I sound like a goodist? I sure am. I am certain now that I have to look harder at this area of my life. It may be that the problems causing my back pain are just a lot more subtle and harder to get at than the obvious ones that were associated with my vertigo and some other TMS equivalents that I have experienced through the years.
Keep feeling that anger, and know that it definately is the source of your dizziness. I think that both of you have the answer inside yourselves to beat it!
Good luck and Happy and Healthy New Year!!!!!!!11
Carol |
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 01/03/2005 : 22:51:23
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Thanks, Gina and Carol, for all of your encouraging words and support. Sometimes I don't know what I would do without this forum, I swear.
I just got off the phone with my sister a little bit ago and we talked quite a bit about my parents. Somehow she never really sees all the crap they pull or at least she doesn't seem to talk about it. My husband's theory on that is that she wants to get her fair share or more in their will. She is the favorite, as my parents have let me know, and she seems to do no wrong in their eyes. But on this particular family gathering, I think she is finally beginning to see the things in them that I've seen all along. On New Years Eve, when she and her husband and my husband and me got back from dinner, the kids gave us all an earful about how mean my parents had acted. My sister's youngest son, who is three, was apparently playing with a toy he'd gotten for Christmas and according to my two daughters and my sister's other two kids and my 19 year old nephew, my dad stood up and yanked the toy out of my sweet little nephew's hand and used it to whop him on the bottom. He then laid on the floor and proceeded to cry, hiding his head under his blankie. My sister and her husband were both shocked, as they have never spanked my little nephew before and they could not imagine why anyone else would, nonetheless a grandparent. My sister told me tonight that the next day (the day I left Texas) she confronted my parents about the spanking and they both got huffy and brushed it off. My mother and father both said that it was a "love pat" and my mother went so far as to ask my 9 year old nephew why he had told his parents a "lie." My nephew replied "You did hit him, Grandpa, I saw you." My mother's response to this was "Ryan, if you continue to lie like that we won't come over and see you anymore."
Unfortunately, as I said, my sister is so enmeshed with my parents that she just doesn't get it the way I do. If that had happened to one of my children I would NEVER leave them alone with my parents again and I would tell them why. I also told my sister about my mother breaking the trust by telling the secret I'd asked her to keep. And, I also told her how our mother was embarrassing the kids by saying rude things, like telling my daughters in front of my nephew "Ryan has big teeth." My sister's response was "No wonder he keeps talking about needing braces all of a sudden."
Anyway, the past history with my sister is that I vent to her and she vents to me and then it all gets back to my parents. That was in the past and I think she's matured enough that she won't do that this time. I told her how it hurt me when my dad said to put everyone on the same check except for me and my family and she didn't seem too shocked but she did sympathize.
As far as my vertigo, this is the first day I have had in nearly three years where I haven't felt my vertigo once the entire day. You are so right when you say that the source of the problem is our mothers because there is a direct correlation to making it better or worse. I'm not sure exactly why but for some reason, taking this trip was a real eye opener for me and my vertigo is not bothering me at all.
I agree that this is going to be a whole new year for us to work on these things and get ourselves well, mentally and physically. I am "cleaning house" in my life, weeding out the people in it who do not benefit me and who are a detriment to my well being. My so called "best friend" and I haven't spoken in nearly a month, as she is "too busy" with all the other new friends in her life to give me the time of day. I'm done with the relationship because it does not benefit my health in any way and it causes me too much pain. My husband is quitting his job of 20 years tomorrow morning and that is a huge load that will be off of my shoulders. Watching him being degraded and treated so poorly has upset me for so long that it is a huge relief that he will be leaving that place. I feel like 2005 is a fresh start for us all and we have the choice to make it a great year.
Thank you for all the encouragement!
Laura
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 00:41:01
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Dear Laura,
Aside from that how, did you like the drive to Texas? Yup, it sounds like they're a bit warped. Save your energy. You are NOT going to change them. Maybe, by not trying to change them, you might, but probably not.
It is tough enough to change ourselves. I now just try to accept others, appreciate all the varied personalities,(glad I'm me) and grin and bear it. They are just getting you worked up with their antics. If you need to see them, to stay in the will, do so but realize that's what's going on. No use deliberatly antagonizing them. Maybe next year don't go. Don't spend energy on thoughtful gifts that aren't appreciated. Buy See's chocolate, everyone likes that,it's easy and never goes to waste.
It was a good idea losing your "good" friend. More time for your family and yourself. It amazes me that as adults the emotions are just the same as when we were kids. Do we every really grow-up? I don't think so.
Our parents are good at at pushing our buttons, after all they installed them.
It sounds like you've gained alot from having made the journey. You broke through your fear, lessened your TMS psychogneic pain and confronted the emotional issues head-on. Good job! Keep it up. Good luck to your husband with the new career move.
What route did you take to and from Texas? I just returned from a trip to Arizona on I-8. It was a beautiful drive. |
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 15:04:31
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Dear Tennis Tom,
Thank you for your kind words. The route we took to Texas was the 5 freeway, to the 210, to the 10 West all the way. I have managed to avoid flying for nearly three years and thought a road trip would be a good way to go. Yuck! Stopping in nasty bathrooms, eating gross and disgusting fast food, no thanks! If I had taken a plane and only spent time with my sis and her three beautiful boys it would have been lovely.
By the way, yesterday I experienced no vertigo at all and today, while walking with my daughter and talking about my parents, I began to feel like I was rocking on a big boat in the ocean. I felt the feeling for about 10 minutes or so. It's weird because yesterday I was talking about them and I never got that bad feeling but today it came on full force and then it was gone. My 15 year old daughter was asking me about my childhood and what it was like growing up with such mean parents and I just felt sick. It's hard to explain to a child who has no idea what it's like to have parents like that. I adore my daughters and would go to the ends of the earth for them. They are my life.
Thanks for your recommendations and I do believe I will take your advice next year. It's like getting your hand slammed in a door over and over; after a few times, you get it. I think I get it, finally, after all these years. They aren't going to change and no matter what I do, it will never be good enough for them.
Thanks also for your good luck wishes to my hubby, who just called me moments ago to tell me it's done and he has officially packed up his belongings and left his job. Luckily, they were very kind to him (it's about time) and had only nice things to say. He thinks they were actually happy, as if they wanted him to leave. Now, he's off to his new job, which is only five minutes away. His new boss is wonderful and there is a greater earning potential there.
Happy New Year to you, TT, and to everyone else on this wonderful board. May 2005 be a year of positive changes for us all!!!
Laura
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 01/04/2005 : 16:19:32
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| Yup, Laura those potties were well used over the Holiday. I felt sorry for the women, their lines were much longer than the men's. At one Chevron on I-5 a lady couldn't wait and shared the men's with me - no problem, I like women. I'd still rather drive anyday. I love the scenery especially after I get out of CA. The open road is soothing to my TMS. |
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Carol
91 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 10:50:21
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Hi Laura and all.
Laura, so glad to hear that the vertigo was gone for an entire day, even if it did return the next day. Maybe the association with walking was an attempt to convince your conscious mind that it is indeed a motion related problem. Don't listen for a minute! My brain does all kinds of tricks to convince me that the back pain is physical. I have learned recently that the pain will get worse either the day before or the day after the event(s) that are really bothering me. Yesterday I had a really good day, even though I took a long walk as part of some training I am getting for the Audubon Society (I am a volunteer educator for them). I enjoyed myself a lot and felt great. Then, this morning I woke up and was in pain within a few minutes after getting out of bed. The very first thought I had was that I must have walked too much! Now mind you, I climb mountains, hike, mountain bike, etc. all year, but had been relatively inactive during the holidays. Now a walk in the woods is causing me pain? I don't think so! Then I started thinking about yesterday and tomorrow. Yesterday evening my grandson, who has asthma and just got out of the hospital, was over with the rest of the family for a visit. He has multiple problems and is a source of worry for me and the rest of the family. Last night he was acting awful, which is very unusual for him. He is a very sweet child usually. Then I realized that he is on prednisone, plus he has asthma associated pneumonia, which certainly had a major role in his meltdown. I felt so bad for the family, which is under so much stress right now. All of this was on my mind last night, and if I had pain then I would have made an immediate association. So my clever brain waited until today, and made me think of a physical reason for the pain. As I am sitting here sorting this all out I am again feeling better. Maybe this is the beginning of understanding for me.
I hope for a better year for all of us. This forum is a life saver for me. If I ever beat the back pain it will be largely because of the wonderful support and encouragement that we all get from each other.
Carol |
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 11:17:34
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Carol,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I know you are right. This morning I took my daughter to her orthodontist appointment and was not feeling any type of vertigo at all. Then, someone I know was suddenly sitting a few seats away from me in the waiting room and started talking to me. I was apologizing for how awful I looked, because I had no time this morning to shower and do my makeup. Then, I felt the dizzy feeling for a few seconds and it passed. I find it comes on either when I'm talking about something uncomfortable, thinking of people who upset me, or if I am judging myself and belittling myself (which is a hard habit to break considering all the put downs I got as a child).
TT - I will agree with you that it is better to drive. I'm such a germ phobic person though and the state of those bathrooms made me sick. Also, my parents have always put down California and talked about how it's "all cement" (I think their brains are full of cement). They seem to just love Texas, where my sister lives, and it always ticks me off hearing their comments. They claim that Californians are so rude and Texans are so friendly. Well, I got news for them; I found the opposite to be true. My husband stopped at a drug store for me to run in and get some eye drops and when I jumped out of the car the car behind him laid on the horn and flipped me off. Now, there was nowhere for my husband to go because there was a car in front of him. In California, as you know, pedestrians have the right away and nobody makes a stink if you get out of your car to run into a store. The people at the hotel were not any too friendly either. We were not impressed at all. I remember a couple years back when my entire family came here for Christmas. My nephew, then about 15, was in the car with my husband and my kids and they were seeing the sights (I was home sick). My nephew commented "Wow, California is really pretty. Grandma told me it's ugly and that it's all cement." We found Texas (at least the route we took to Dallas) to be very flat and not very pretty. It was overcast and windy while we were there, and I know it's extremely hot and humid in the summer. I'm going to try to resolve in the new year to let my mother's assanine comments go right over my head. I think I need to consider the source. She is obviously saying those hurtful things to push my buttons and, as you stated so eloquently earlier, they did install them.
For the time being, I'm just happy to be back here in beautiful California, safe in my home with my family that I love. The only scenic trips I want to take in the near future will be the ones that involve either driving down to Laguna Beach or up the coast.
Laura
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Hilary
United Kingdom
191 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2005 : 16:47:35
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WOW. I just had to reply to this topic. I really, really empathize with you dizzy folk! I've only just realized that my dizziness must be a TMS symptom. This dizzy feeling has plagued me since I was 26, 11 years ago. I feel as if something is continually moving around inside my head, especially on the right side. It started suddenly after a relationship ended in a deeply traumatic way and was accompanied by a horrible spacey head feeling, like I wasn't there, and it really hasn't gone away since.
I've always felt that if I could ignore the dizziness and not get so upset by it, I'd probably feel a lot better. But I must say that it has been very upsetting.
Over the years I've definitely noticed a connection between "anxiety" (read anger, confusion, self-consciousness etc) and the dizziness, but I've never tried focusing on my emotions rather than the dizziness before this week, so this is an entirely new chapter for me.
Tonight I went to see an opera with my parents and, yup, the dizziness kicked right in. Rather than doing what I normally do - focus on the dizziness and try to make myself relax - I sat there and thought really hard about my feelings, specifically asking myself who I was angry at, and why? It didn't take long for an answer to appear. Music is a huge bone of contention between me and my parents and I've always felt depressed and furious and resentful as a result, so attending a concert with them is almost excruitiating to me. I did notice that focusing on my thoughts and feelings caused the dizziness to lessen. That's GOOD news!
I was really interested in the discussion about parents, particularly mothers, above. Like others here, my mother has dominated my life. She did her best, but she is hysterically anxious, depressive, intrusive and hugely ambitious that her children (I believe particularly her daughter) succeed in ways that she feels she was lacking. She also doesn't particularly like women, which makes for a REALLY bizarre mother/daughter relationship! I am never sure where she is coming from and can rarely predict her response to something. Could be supportive, could be completely mean and hurtful. I was raised in a very high-pressure home which demanded absolute excellence in academic subjects, but my parents also equired us to be completely non-competitive at the same time. It was completely mind-boggling (cue dizziness?)
Thanks for this thread - it's very helpful indeed.
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2005 : 18:10:11
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Hilary,
Perhaps your mom, my mom, and Gina's mom could get together and compare notes. Better yet, maybe they could co-write a book on "how to screw up your children."
I sympathize with you. Of all the TMS equivalents, the dizziness seems to bother me the most. That must be why it keeps hanging on for dear life!
This morning my parents called. I haven't seen them since New Years Eve, prior to our departure back home to California. My dad called at 9:00 sharp, asking me "Is everything okay? We haven't heard from you all week long." I told him I was half asleep (a lie) and that I'd need to call him back. I needed to collect my thoughts. I had written them a letter a couple days ago and have been contemplating sending it. I decided not to and have decided to burn it instead, upon the advice of Tennis Tom. But, after thinking about what I would say to my parents I decided I would speak to them about the main issue that had me upset. I didn't waste my time on all the other stuff that, while it was important, I thought I could maybe overlook. We ended the conversation on a positive note. They never really apologized but rather tried to explain their intentions to me. What can I say? I have to see them in less than a month (they will be arriving here the first of February) and I don't want to have a big pow wow with them at this point in time. I will be much more cautious around them and I will be very careful about what I say to them.
I totally can relate to you though. It's good that you recognize the dizziness for what it is. It grabs our attention and when it does, it really helps to sit down and think about why it is happening. I do that constantly and pretty much always can see the correlation between my thoughts or where I am, etc. to how I'm feeling.
Good luck to you in your journey and know that you are not alone!
Laura
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Ginag
51 Posts |
Posted - 01/09/2005 : 13:20:11
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Hi Hilary, Welcome to the group!!!! I can't believe that you, Laura, and myself have the same dizzy symptoms and the same type of mothers. I bet Dr. Sarno would like to add that to his research. I've noticed that the "Dizziness" forum is, by far, the most read one on the site. I wonder if that is so because so many people suffer from dizziness. If that is true, I'm surprised more people don't contribute to our discussion. Maybe we should try to discover more similarities in our lives in addition to the dysfunctional personalities of our mothers - although that is enough itself. It just has to be more than coincidence. In any event, I'm sure you will continue to see improvement in your condition now that you have made that first initial connection. Wishing you great success.
Gina |
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elise8
USA
72 Posts |
Posted - 01/09/2005 : 14:06:43
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WOW, WOW WOW! I am so glad i found this forum. I almost did not sign up as I thought this was just for back pain sufferers but I should know better having read Sarno's books years ago. I have been having TERRIBLE DIZZINESS for almost 3 years. The last two have been the worst. Last year the absolute worst. I was dissabled from work for many months, almost lost my job. I was finally diagnosed with Meniere's disease which is a disease of the inner ear and causes vertigo, dizziness, tinnitis, ear pressure, and makes you feel absolutely horrible with related anxiety, depression, cloudy thinking, the whole ball of wax. Mine started out with waking up one moring and looking at a computer screen when all of a sudden the screen turned sideways, or appeared to. I thought I had a stroke and life has not been the same since. I continued to feel off balance for months, finally went to doctor, they did MRIs, CTs, EEGs, EKGs, you name it, they did it. The fear of all this made the symptoms worse and it soon became chronic. I could not eat, lost weight, got very, very sick. When I look back I believe that stress trigger it and fear kept it going.
I am better now after I just stopped going to the doctors and took my health in to my own hands with diet, lifestyle change, etc. But the label of Meniere's disease has stuck and now I can't seem to get past this label(disease). I am really convinced after reading these posts that the whole thing is TMS and it chose dizziness as that was my weakness, now that the back pain does not work anymore. Amazing.
I better get out my books and re-read. I do recall Sarno saying that an ear problem can be related and I guess that is why I am continuing to have symptoms. I still think there just must be something "physical". Gosh I wish I could turn my mind off sometimes. It is like I have a little demon living in my brain that keeps trying to sway me from the truth that this is just all caused by my emotions, brought on by stress and INTENSE FEAR and of course underlying RAGE about how my life has not been as perfect as I had hoped.
Thanks for your posts here ladies. Also I am in my 50s and this started at age 49....
Menopause related I am sure....
Elise8
Elise8 |
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Dizziness
