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marsha
252 Posts |
 Posted - 04/24/2013 : 14:33:57
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After spending a week in severe pain I finally gave in and went to my general care physician . He gave me a prescription for Ultram. I took one this morning. Never again..did not help the pain and made me paranoid .
During this terrible day I spent a good deal of time searching my brain for that magic thing that happened , for the lightbulb moment to set me free from almost 7 years of constant severe 24/7 pain.
And then I realizes that it might not be WHAT HAPPENED but WHAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
Of course like most of us on this forum I have had some pretty traumatic things happen.my mother had borderline personality disorder and my dad was petrified of her.
WHAT DIDN'T HAPPEN is the soothing, understanding,support,holding caring and love.
The only thing I could do was bury my feelings, good bad and terrifying .
If anyone tried to comfort me now I am sure I would explode and disappear. 65 years of repression.BOOM!!!!!
Maybe for some it is what failed to happen.
Marsha |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2013 : 21:39:17
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quote:
Originally posted by marsha
After spending a week in severe pain I finally gave in and went to my general care physician . He gave me a prescription for Ultram. I took one this morning. Never again..did not help the pain and made me paranoid .
...it might not be WHAT HAPPENED but WHAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
...WHAT DIDN'T HAPPEN is the soothing, understanding,support,holding caring and love.
Marsha
Good insight!
In regards to the Ultram, a couple of days ago I popped some Tramadols, I felt good for a while but afterwards felt like I was in withdrawal. I did a quick search and another name for Tramadol is Ultram! |
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All1Spirit
USA
149 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 06:24:29
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Ultram is a highly addictive narcotic like analgesic used for more severe pain. If the Sarno plan works why would you need to even try such a powerful drug.
What Marsha has discovered is well known in trauma research. It is not only what happened but what failed to happen that is necessary to develop a healthy human being.
Food, shelter and safety are the primary dependents requirements. There are also hundreds of nuances that can cause a hyper aroused permanent nervous system tone in addition to the primary needs.
Marsha’s reaction to the drug is common – the same nervous system activation that causes TMS also alters the blood brain barrier and the bodies ability to process and detox chemicals properly
"Around and Around the Circle We Go....
The Answer Sits In The Middle and Knows..." |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 06:26:44
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Marsha, "what didn't happen" also has a name: developmental trauma.
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All1Spirit
USA
149 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 06:43:28
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Yep Rage – people think trauma is being beaten.
Trauma is defined as anything with an actual or perceived negative outcome where the organism has no control
It can be from a thousand seemingly insignificant experiences and not anything major
"Around and Around the Circle We Go....
The Answer Sits In The Middle and Knows..." |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 06:49:26
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quote:
Originally posted by All1Spirit
Trauma is defined as anything with an actual or perceived negative outcome where the organism has no control
over 2500 years ago some guy in India told us: "you are what you think".
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 08:37:41
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quote:
Originally posted by All1Spirit
...If the Sarno plan works why would you need to even try such a powerful drug.
Doubt created by being surrounded by a medical/industrial complex that can't profit off the Good Doctor's simple truth.
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DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
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Edited by - tennis tom on 04/25/2013 08:38:28 |
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marsha
252 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 09:17:18
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The Sarno plan has not worked for me this time. It worked in 1999 and I was pain free for about 7 years. Had a relapse, went to see Dr.sarno again followed his program and still in pain. Not mild pain, sever e pain. That is why I tried the Ultram. Desperation. I needed a day without pain. Just got wired and the pain continued.
I am seeing a therapist (psychologist) and he is a firm believer in Sarno.
This is very depressing . It is hard to live your life in constant pain.
Marsha |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 10:52:41
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| Marsha, sorry about your pain, since Dr. Sarno has retired who are you seeing for your TMS dx, Dr. Rashbaum? |
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marsha
252 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 11:07:52
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I am not seeing a TMS doctor anymore. I was diagnosed by Sarno twice., once in 1999 and again in 2006. I went to his lectures and was about to begin his groups with successful TMSers when he discontinued that part of his program. It was about the time I joined this web site.
I have followed his program and have no doubts about his diagnosis . I was very successful in 1999 and remained pain free until 2006.
I am seeing a psychotherapist now who believes as I do that my pain is not caused by any particular physical abnormality.
During this long time of pain I have continued to live the best I can. I attend classes at a state university, was on the board of directors in the community I live in. I entertain ,go on vacations paint(former art teacher). We live outside N.Y.C. And often go into the city.
It has gotten more difficult for me to get around . My pain is mostly lower back and legs.
My physician calls this fibromyalgia ( BS ). I will not take any of the mind altering drugs he has suggest except for the other day when I just had had enough.
Long answer.
Marsha |
Edited by - marsha on 04/25/2013 11:12:14 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 12:21:14
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Thanks Marsha, good summary and not long at all. We're about the same age, have you considered that you TMS pain may be due to subconscious fear and anger of getting older? SteveO says this is a HUGE TMS creator. After-all, we live in a culture where the term "senior" is a pejorative, and in California it's against the law to get old.
Maybe your TMS pains and "aches" are due to normal aging processes being magnified by the TMS "volume control". Maybe explore this area with your therapist. Nicole Sachs is a TMS therapist who worked with Dr. Sarno if you need another opinion and I believe she's in Connecticut; (correction Delaware.)
G'luck! |
Edited by - tennis tom on 04/29/2013 10:20:54 |
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pspa123
672 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 12:29:31
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| Unless she moved again I thought Nicole told us she had relocated to Delaware. I wonder if Arlene Feinblatt, who from memory was Dr. Sarno's principal psychotherapist and was in NYC, still practices, I know she was writing a book from the TMS Wiki. |
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marsha
252 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 14:25:15
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Hi Tom,
I have had serious episodes of TMS since I was 16 years old. Before I learned about Sarno I thought I just had a bad back. Pain is not new to me. I'm not sure getting older creates pain. Living creates pain for some more than others.
This episode of pain did start with the death of a close friend. He died too young so getting older is a plus for me. No to crazy about looking older but what can we do.
I don't relish the idea of death but when I do it won't matter. Suffering on the other hand I fear, yet I suffer terribly every day.
I read Steve O 's book and thought it was insightful, funny and helpful but I am still limping around.
My therapist is good. I started feeling worse after I started seeing him. Maybe that is a good thing. A battle in the brain . Maybe feeling worse comes before feeling better.
I surely hope so.
Marsha |
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pspa123
672 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 15:16:43
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| Some here would tell you that it is that very fear of suffering that is prolonging your symptoms. I can certainly see that in myself sometimes. |
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dgreen97
122 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 18:01:31
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quote:
Maybe your TMS pain is due to normal aging processes and is being magnified by the TMS volume control
tom does this mean that TMS can aggravate physical pain then? as you said the TMS volume control can take the pain from normal aging processes and amplify it so could this also happen to other condition as well? |
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guej
115 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 18:36:34
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Marsha,
I haven't been on this forum in probably 6 months or longer. I don't know what made me log on tonight, but I'm glad I did. I need to dig out your number and give you a call. I buried my TMS notebooks and books in my attic.
To those of you new to the forum, Marsha is the sanest, most down to earth, tough person I met through this forum. She's tried it all, but continues to live her life as fully as possible despite constant pain. I am so, so sorry to hear you are having such an awful time.
It's ironic you had a bad time with Ultram. That was an absolute life saver for me. I couldn't tolerate anything - - Percocet, Vicodin, Dilaudid, Lyrica, you name it. Everything made me sick to my stomach, dizzy, depressed. For some reason, small doses of Ultram gave me back my life by giving me periods of time during the day when I barely noticed the pain. I know it's not a "cure", but constant, constant, pain for months or years on end is so hard on the soul. I couldn't function with my family until I got a little pain relief. I'm not a fan of overmedicating, but at the same time, there's nothing wrong in getting relief from non-stop suffering. I specifically posed this question to Dr. Sarno because I felt guilty about taking pain medication. As long as you know there's nothing physical at issue, do what you have to so you can even think straight and function. That was Sarno's view as well.
I thought it was hopeless for me. I was also afraid to go to a Pain Management clinic because I didn't want to be one of "those" people. I felt like that would mean I was resigning myself to a lifetime of pain. Turns out, it was the best thing I did. I also happened to find a very sympathetic pain management dr. who was patient and worked with me as I went through lots of medication that I couldn't tolerate. Only when I found a little pain relief, could I even get back to living, and by getting back to living, I was able to stop thinking and worrying constantly about the pain, and low and behold...it lessened.
You've heard my shpeel before. Call me if you still have my number. I'm happy to lend a sympathetic ear. I really wish you had better news. I really wish you could find a method for obtaining even temporary or slight lessening of this pain. |
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maccafan
130 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 19:28:55
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quote:
WHAT DIDN'T HAPPEN is the soothing, understanding,support,holding caring and love.
The only thing I could do was bury my feelings, good bad and terrifying .
Hello Marsha,
Sorry that you are hurting so bad and for so long and I can understand and identify with what you wrote. I have also been through horrible back pain and because of Dr. Sarno's books I was able to stop it.
I agree with tt about Nicole Sachs. But you may be able to find what you need just by reading her book, "The Meaning of Truth - embrace your truth, create your life". She was on Dr. Sarno's panels and truly respects the man. She was able to stop her crippling back pain that she had endured since she was very young. In her book she teaches you how to do a certain type of journaling that goes deeper than the usual. This could help you break through the emotional wall that you're up against and get your TMS back under control.
Good luck to you, maccafan
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 19:48:51
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quote:
Originally posted by dgreen97
quote:
Maybe your TMS pain is due to normal aging processes and is being magnified by the TMS volume control
tom does this mean that TMS can aggravate physical pain then? as you said the TMS volume control can take the pain from normal aging processes and amplify it so could this also happen to other condition as well?
Yes, aggravate, amplify. As Balto said earlier: "You are what you think." If your subconscious gremlin feels you need pain to distract you from the emotional realities, then what's better then a real live new injury, all the better if it's full of blood and guts. We can also tuck it away in a crevice of gray matter to resurrect at some later date for a defense.
==================================================
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
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Edited by - tennis tom on 04/25/2013 19:49:47 |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2013 : 22:09:34
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Marsha what struck me most about your post is your first sentence. You suffered for a week the 'gave in' almost like you felt defeated by having to take the medication. I also wonder if your frame of mind had something to do with how u reacted to the medicine.
Time and time again I have noticed the reluctance that people have towards taking medication.
I was like that too but now I believe differently.
Nowhere does Sarno tell u not to take something for the pain. In fact it is a well known fact hat the longer you prolong the pain, the worse it gets. You need it to stop it from getting chronic.
In fact people who r prone to tms should take something immediately when they feel a new pain coming on. This will prevent them from catastrophising & becoming more fearful Bout the pain. If they r able to control it then they feel they have some control over this whole mind body thing.
Remember the pain is real & the body needs help too.
Maka
Mala Singh Barber. I'm on facebook. Look me up
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alix
USA
434 Posts |
Posted - 04/26/2013 : 01:05:50
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all1spirit, Ultram is not a "highly addictive narcotic". I used it for 3 years and it helped me a lot. It took me a week to taper off and stop. No sweat.
Yes you can get addicted to it if you are careless and have an addictive personality. You read people that take 20-30 pills a day. |
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njoy
Canada
188 Posts |
Posted - 04/26/2013 : 04:40:10
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Marsha, your first post really spoke to me. I also had a childhood with no love, no support, no caring. One of my very first breakthroughs came when I tried "inner child" work. Somehow I could tolerate my adult self searching out and protecting my baby I once was. From an emotional point of view, she was a tiny, grey skeleton, barely alive when I first found her. Later, she became a cheerful toddler who knew she could count on the adult "me" for support. It was magical, really.
That was not the end of my troubles. I've been through lots and lots of self-therapies (there really isn't anything else where I am) over the years and each one has helped, some a little and some a lot. One of these was Dr. Sarno.
Most recently I've found IFS (Internal Family Systems). It's a variation on "parts" work and many people can do it themselves while others need to find peer support or spend a few sessions with an IFS therapist. I suggest you check it out. You can get a Kindle book from Jay Earley, for example, for under 10 bucks.
Whatever you do, next, you are clearly not a person who gives up. I am so familiar with the troughs of despair you are experiencing but have often found them to come right before a wave that changes everything. I hope that's true for you, too.
*****
"It's worth considering that tms is not a treatment but rather an unfolding of the self, and a way of living as an emotionally aware and engaged soul." Plum |
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What didn't happen
