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lesley

New Zealand
18 Posts

Posted - 03/02/2013 :  15:31:08  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I am one of the many lurkers here. I'm following/practising Ace's Keys and I have questions about what to do when doing the "sitting" he recommended in an earlier post. i.e. to go somewhere quiet and warm, away from busy-ness and to just sit for 3 hours, if possible and to observe the surroundings and my inner reactions. Or, if not warm, maybe go to an art gallery, sit in front of a painting and do the same. I need some further 'what to do' instructions on the details of the observing/noticing.
I've tried this exercise a little, and yes, it's VERY difficult to do!! I've not yet managed even one whole hour.
I live in deep rural isolaltion by a very pretty small stony-bottomed rushing river, lots of green quietness, with many and varied birds, a few animal noises, only far-distant animal noises, no people, no traffic. Do I just watch the birds, the leaves moving on the trees, the bees, the clouds moving overhead? do I listen, note, whatever sounds I can hear? thoughts come as I sit, what do I do about those?
As I'm watching etc the physical natural surroundings, I'm also to pay attention to my inner reactions - does this mean I observe my breathing, my heart rate, pains or other symptoms in my body, the discomforts of the sitting? and my reactions to them? what emotions (or not) that may rise up in me? or all of the above?
Oh, such TMSing "having-to-know" perfectionistic angst!!

shawnsmith

Czech Republic
2048 Posts

Posted - 03/02/2013 :  17:10:16  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi Lesley,

Is this "going somewhere quiet and warm" an excuse to remove yourself from an annoying or symptom causing situation? The ultimate goal is to be at ease in all situations, even one's you don't like or have in the past made your symptoms worse. As Ace's healing keys point out, this takes time and de-conditioning with the use of positive affirmations. Of course, one can't sit forever as they have to get on with their daily life.

In my humble opinion, continually asking yourself "Am I do this right?" is itself a form a strain which needs to be spotted and have positive affirmations to counter.

Of course many thoughts are going to come into your mind. Just notice those thoughts, but there is no need to react to them as they are just thoughts. Notice without judging (this is a good or bad thought) and reacting (oh my God, this is terrible, what am I going to do?). You cannot stop these thoughts from coming no matter how hard you try, but you can have good self-talk or affirmations to counter those thoughts which cause you distress.

You may find this thread helpful:
http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=8097

Edited by - shawnsmith on 03/02/2013 17:11:21
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Ace1

USA
1040 Posts

Posted - 03/02/2013 :  17:45:15  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I agree with Shawn mostly from what he says. I do however disagree with shawn in terms that I think that this is a very helpful exercise if you can do it. I am proud that Lesley has attempted this. This exercise really shows you how much impatience is playing a role in your illness when you try it. It also helps decondition yourself to this impatience. You are supposed to do NOTHING while you sit with no agenda or activity. As you see the beauty around you just passively observe. In the same way you can observe your impatience/strain habit. As you get the urge to leave or do something resist it and say the affirmations in the background. Also try you best not to fidget as this is also "doing something". As you practice you'll get better. This in my opinion is better than most counseling sessions. Do it this way and come back and report to me. Shawn, I would like you to try it.
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RageSootheRatio

Canada
430 Posts

Posted - 03/02/2013 :  19:29:20  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
For anyone looking for the "original" 'sitting exercise' instructions:

quote:

All1spirit, I'm sure for you it's the intense personality in everything you do. You have learned to strain in everything you do and project yourself in the future and when doing nothing, you probably get the urge that you should be doing something. Do me a favor and do the following. If its warm where you are located go to a very scenic area like a top of a mountain and sit there. If not, go to a museum and sit on a bench in front of a nice panting. Sit there for 3 hours straight and do nothing but observe your surroundings and your inner reactions. Since you are retired, this should be no problem. You will see you will be extremely uncomfortable and feel like you can't do it, but sit in this situation anyways and say I'm calm relaxed, patient and confident in the background of this discomfort. Do this excerse as often as you can. Let me know how it goes.



quote:

Remember as I said the number one cause of strain is impatience. I think that this applies very much so to you shawn. You cannot be patient enough on the plane, you dont want to be restricted. Go and do the excercise I gave A1S to sit in front of a panting in a museum for 2-3 hours, while observing your impatience and the painting if you can. Use your affirmations of patience at the same time. You will have a VERY hard time at first, you have to sit through this discmfort and I think it will teach you a little more about what your biggest problem is. Repeat this exercise when you can, the more you do it, the better you will get. On the plane do the samething, sit in it, knowing the problem, and use your affirmations in the background.

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lesley

New Zealand
18 Posts

Posted - 03/09/2013 :  15:19:44  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thank you Ace and Shawn for your clarifying answers to my queries. I'm very grateful that you, and so many others, are here to encourage, help and guide me through this time.
Is anyone else doing Ace's sitting exercise? I've been at it for about a week now - I'm finding it very beneficial already, giving me a noticable reduction of symptoms, helping me to actually know the brain "strain" that is in your Keys Ace. I'm not yet managing more than 30 minutes daily, but that's OK. I'll just keep at it. I use affirmations ALL day, EVERY day. I do a CD relaxation breath meditation and body scan, most days but not absolutely every day. Life is busy and TMS work takes time. I am progressing.
No Shawn,I'm not avoiding facing something - the only thing I'm doing this for is for healing, to be well, normal and active again -- to live in peace and joy.
The weather here right now is very hot and sunny with no wind much at all - a national drought has been declared this week which is dire for our farmers (which I used to be). I'm grateful not to be feeding stock. That aside, I'm doing my sitting in the delicious coolness of the evening, as the sun drops down and the stars become visible oh so slowly, then suddenly there is the Milky Way. I get absorbed by what is going on around me, amazingly so - last night a hedgehog nearly stepped on my feet as I sat so still and quiet. I watch thistle down floating down like snow, then it sits on the grass - and also collects everywhere inside my house in small mounds!! the crickets sing sleepily, ditto some birds on their way to bed. I feel privileged, blessed - it's delicious! healing. Very soon the evenings will be too cold to sit outside like this, so I'll have to think of somewhere else. I'm a very long way of any museum or art gallery, so there out.
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Ace1

USA
1040 Posts

Posted - 03/09/2013 :  15:46:43  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Good job, your doing wonderfully! Keep up the great work and keep updating us. I can see that you truly understand it.
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Ace1

USA
1040 Posts

Posted - 03/10/2013 :  07:41:59  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Forgot to mention,one other good place to try this exercise is when you wake up and you are still in bed. Stay still without moving much and fidgeting. You can say affirmations in the background. This obviously works when no one is awake next to you.
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lesley

New Zealand
18 Posts

Posted - 03/10/2013 :  16:06:27  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Ace....thank you so much for your encouraging words, they help SO much. No-one I know understands TMS in any way at all and if I attempt an explanation I just get denied, scepticism, the usual I guess in relation to it.
Last night I managed 35 minutes quite easily....it's getting more pleasurable and easier as day passes. I'm looking forward to my sitting time, isn't that amazing....as I look forward to my meditation time, it's equally enjoyable. Last night a morepork was experimenting with it's sounds, a young one I think judging by the weird sounds it made. The morepork is New Zealand's native owl, it's call is a rather haunting "morepork". They call at night of course, when it's clear and still and it's like golden liquid drops of sounds floating up, down and around the creek, the trees, everywhere....natural music!! the bellbird is even better. Maybe, tonight it's sounds will have improved.
If anyone else is 'sitting', I'd really like to know they're getting on with it, but perhaps there is only me.
I'll certainly try the morning stillness/affirms Ace, as you suggest. I'm reading James Alexander's book at present, "The Psychology of Pain". It's very good so far.
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Ace1

USA
1040 Posts

Posted - 03/10/2013 :  17:37:18  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I doubt very many people are doing this but I wish they would bc I think it would help them. Keep up the good work!
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lesley

New Zealand
18 Posts

Posted - 03/11/2013 :  15:46:03  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Ace, thank you again for the interested supporting message. Yes, I'm with you, I think I must be the only poster here, out of the many who do, that is doing the sitting exercise. I wonder if it's too hard for others to find the right physical setting in which to do it. I'm VERY privileged to live in such a quiet green paradise, away from all city-ness, so it's easy for me. I only have to step out of my door into it - place my chair wherever I choose and that's it, totally stress-free access to our natural world, just so easy - although the evenings are getting a bit chilly now. I can move to daytime sitting of course.
Each day it gets easier and easier to sit for longer and longer lengths of time. It's so very very peaceful, relaxing, reducing my symptoms noticeably.....I do encourage those who can to give it a go.
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shawnsmith

Czech Republic
2048 Posts

Posted - 03/12/2013 :  07:46:02  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
We have forgotten what rocks, plants, and animals still know. We have forgotten how to be- to be still, to be ourselves, to be where life is: Here and Now. -- Ekhart Tolle


*************************
“Living up to an image that you have of yourself or that
other people have of you is inauthentic living – another unconscious role theego plays.” -- Ekhart Tolle
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plum

United Kingdom
641 Posts

Posted - 03/12/2013 :  08:14:06  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ace1

Forgot to mention,one other good place to try this exercise is when you wake up and you are still in bed. Stay still without moving much and fidgeting. You can say affirmations in the background. This obviously works when no one is awake next to you.



Ace1, I'm rather fond of this variation and now it carries your seal of approval I'll relish it even more. I also very much enjoy people-watching. Do you think a couple of hours spent in a cafe, watching the world go by, counts as an urban form of Zen sitting and watching?
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plum

United Kingdom
641 Posts

Posted - 03/12/2013 :  08:25:22  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by lesley

Ace, thank you again for the interested supporting message. Yes, I'm with you, I think I must be the only poster here, out of the many who do, that is doing the sitting exercise. I wonder if it's too hard for others to find the right physical setting in which to do it. I'm VERY privileged to live in such a quiet green paradise, away from all city-ness, so it's easy for me. I only have to step out of my door into it - place my chair wherever I choose and that's it, totally stress-free access to our natural world, just so easy - although the evenings are getting a bit chilly now. I can move to daytime sitting of course.
Each day it gets easier and easier to sit for longer and longer lengths of time. It's so very very peaceful, relaxing, reducing my symptoms noticeably.....I do encourage those who can to give it a go.



Hi Lesley,

You're not alone in following this practice. A natural environment certainly helps. A handful of years ago I lived on the edge of a farm. There was a huge back garden into which I placed a cushioned garden swing, westward facing. My favourite thing in the whole world was to spend summers days out there, alternately reading, cloud-watching or simply watching the sunset over the fields. Majestic. Good, good days.

I envy you the beauty. We're meant to dwell timelessly in nature. As it cools on your side of the world, it warms here, although recent weather betrays the familiar seasons. It's so cold one's nether regions could fall off. All the best sweet child of nature.
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lesley

New Zealand
18 Posts

Posted - 03/12/2013 :  16:04:47  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hello Plum,
I've been reading your lovely posts now for a while, again, so supportive and encouraging, like heaps of others. Do you do the sitting? I know how abysmally cold UK is, my daughter has been living in London for a few years now and I really don't understand how she can, given that she spent all her growing up years right here.
I'm very close to a perpetually running tiny stream as well as the river, sitting by them makes me become quite trance-like, even better than the evening sitting....is this Zen meditation? I've been reading the TM meditation discussion that's going on right now, which is interesting, as I had no understanding of it. I think any sort of meditation is OK, reducing the stress/tension levels is my aim, until my mind and body has atrophied the old way and grown new neural pathways. Finding what does that for me is the challenge.
You a blessing to us all Plum, with your loving, accepting words.
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lesley

New Zealand
18 Posts

Posted - 03/12/2013 :  16:18:34  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hello Shawn,
Thank you for your supportive words....my bible says somewhere, "Be still and know that I Am God", I feel spiritually close to whatever God is very often in my sittings. The more I do the more I develop an urge to do so. There is a pulse sensation in the evening sky as the sun disappears, is this my eyes being tricky or does the earth pulse? I'm becoming more and more reclusive, not wanting social encounters much, and when I do, not particularly enjoying them.
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Ace1

USA
1040 Posts

Posted - 03/12/2013 :  16:49:58  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
So plum, doing anything without an agenda, and sitting still for a long period of time. No Tvs no phones, no conversation, outside of your comfort zone,(usually outside the home, although lying in bed in the morning works bc most people want to jump out of bed), it shows you what type of impatience you may have. This also helps in reconditioning. I do think it gets you in touch with God.
Leslie, you dont want to set yourself up to just living in your comfort zone. Try to be ok in what ever situation your in, including in other people's company.

Edited by - Ace1 on 03/12/2013 17:56:35
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shawnsmith

Czech Republic
2048 Posts

Posted - 03/12/2013 :  17:41:21  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi Lesley

You may like this little book of drawings:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/92281844/Eckhart-Tolle-Guardians-of-Being

*************************
“Living up to an image that you have of yourself or that
other people have of you is inauthentic living – another unconscious role theego plays.” -- Ekhart Tolle
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njoy

Canada
188 Posts

Posted - 03/12/2013 :  22:24:34  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
This is fascinating. I also live in a quiet, rural and beautiful setting and I can't imagine sitting for 3 hours without being driven mad by bugs in summer and my own internally-produced itches the rest of the year. Not to mention, the bordom!

People who can do this live on a different planet than my own. Obviously, must give it a try. Good to hear, lesley, that you can manage 30 minutes. Gives me hope.

*****
"It's worth considering that tms is not a treatment but rather an unfolding of the self, and a way of living as an emotionally aware and engaged soul." Plum
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lesley

New Zealand
18 Posts

Posted - 03/13/2013 :  15:57:56  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hello njoy,
It's nice to have a smidgoen of interest in the sitting.....yesterday I managed 40 minutes quite easily and would've been able to go longer if I wasn't compelled to go and watch a fav TV show!! That wouldn't happen if I wasn't at home with access to it! I did get bored when I started but don't now....it's fascinating me, just observing what's happening around me, my thoughts, opening up a whole lot of things, about myself, the natural world. Each time I sit it quickly gets easier and better..... the fidgeting subsides, ditto the itching, the boredom was quick to disappear. I rug up against the pesky bugs, although in NZ they're not too bad at all Do give it go....my tension/stress levels are reducing nicely, and this is just the biggest inducement to continuing for me.
Shawn...thank you for the website but it won't download for me, probably because of my lousy net connection service here in my isolated rural situation, sigh..
Ace....I became very fragile after nursing my beloved husband through 18 months of terminal cancer and the consequent grieving that began with all that and has continued on after his death 2 years ago. I'm very slowly adjusting to this loss and the overwhelming change it has made in my life. Just before Christmas last year my almost 18 year old granddaughter died in a train accident in Sydney, compounding my grief load. It's all just appalling....she was to be dux of her school for the second time, beautiful, musically talented, terrific athlete, popular, just so lovely.....oh woe....such senseless waste.
Too much of other people is too draining emotionally when I'm overwhelmed.....a little is OK, depending on the person, how long I'm around them and so on, large groups just impossible. Tme will take of it, it is very slowly improving.
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plum

United Kingdom
641 Posts

Posted - 03/13/2013 :  16:20:43  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Lesley, I have a hunch that people *need* meditation because they are disenfranchised. The natural life is peerless. I also believe much of this stuff is over-intellectualised. You sound free of the chaos of the world and that is beautiful. One day I shall find my way back there but for now I have the urban jungle as my noble adversary. Who knows, maybe I'll even miss it.

I'm not too hot at the sitting, much better at lolling in the morning...more anon...but I do sometimes. It inspires me that you do. One can feed on such things.

And thank you so much for your kind words. The way I see it is that we're all in this together and I have a fondness for this little community. Shame you can't all come round for dinner, I love feeding people. We could eat and chat and simply sit and be.

Love to you Lesley, enjoy your tiny stream and be sure to send a merry wish along her. Downstream such goodwill finds form.
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plum

United Kingdom
641 Posts

Posted - 03/13/2013 :  16:34:01  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ace1

So plum, doing anything without an agenda, and sitting still for a long period of time. No Tvs no phones, no conversation, outside of your comfort zone,(usually outside the home, although lying in bed in the morning works bc most people want to jump out of bed), it shows you what type of impatience you may have. This also helps in reconditioning. I do think it gets you in touch with God.
Leslie, you dont want to set yourself up to just living in your comfort zone. Try to be ok in what ever situation your in, including in other people's company.




Ace1, don't watch tv and until recently didn't bother with internet at all. I kicked it into touch circa 2007 and only set-up wifi this year. Not fussed about phones either. I say this because distraction wise I'm pretty good at letting things go. However I do take your point and will 'fess up to impatience. Funny old thing but I endured a masterclass in that of late so your nudge is timely.

As for lying in bed each morning, this is a practice I culled from a naturopath in the early days of healing my boy. This healer suggested lying in bed peacefully every morning as a way of calming mind and nervous system; it was the first of a host of recommendations not dissimilar from your own. Aside from the boons it is a beautiful way to start the day.

Thanks for your continued support.
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