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carrick
Ireland
19 Posts |
 Posted - 10/30/2012 : 05:07:01
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Hi All,
I'm new to the forum, so this is my first time posting. I'm hoping for some insight and advice to get me back on track. To give you some background, I started experiencing, annoying pain in both knees in January this year. I first noticed something was not quite right going up and down stairs, my kness would click and grind and my legs just didnt feel right, like they were not my own, heavy buring sensation. I tend to overthink everything, so immediately became focused on this noise, feeling. I went to a physio and was told the usual, tight hips, need to stretch. The left knee got a little better, but in about April/May of this year, my right knee really started to bother me - the pain was intense and sharp going up and down stairs, it bothered me all of the time. I was stating to walk with a limp, by August I was on crutches, I was feeling so down and scared that this was never going to get better. I went for more physio, was told it was a tracking problem, runners knee. I went for an mri, came back normal, but surgeon told me that it was a carilage problem and I would need my knee washed out so an operation. Anyway, I'm 4 months preganat so an operation is not an option. The pain started long before pregnancy and I'm delighted to be pregnant, but fear how I will mange with limited movement. I discovered TMS on the internet and was very interested in learning more. I am a born worrier, people pleaser etc. I read Fred Amir's book and am reading Sarno at the moment. I have improved, can walk much better, not as down, I keep telling myself that there is noting structurally wrong with me. But with certain movements, the pain is so intense, then I doubt how this could be tms and start falling back to my old ways of thinking - - maybe I do need an operation, what if there is something really wrong, how will I mind my baby if I can't bend, kneel, get up and down stairs. Stairs cause me a big problem. Also, I have been doing yoga for years but positions cause me great pain, sometimes if feels as thoug my knee will lock in a position, the sharp pain is that intense, but I continue to push myself. Of couse with pregnancy, I am going easier on myself. I'm loosing hope and faith and need some encouragement, similar knee success stories, if anyone out there can help? Before this all stated I worked out, bootcamps, kettlebells, but maybe working out was a distraction in itself? I'm 34 years old and did not have a happy childhood, it wasnt all bad, but not great. I have been for theraphy over the years and feel that I have confronted alot of my issues, that's why I sometimes find it hard to believe that I have repressed emotions, anger. I did have an issue with my mum last Christmas and my first problems started in January, but really don't feel the two are connected? I'm confused as you can probably gather. Do I have TMS or a structural problem that does require medical attention?? As I said, I live in my head and do find it hard to relax, I think I'm getting better at that, but would be so concerned what people think of me and look for approval from others.
Thank you for reading my story and I look forward to hearing from anyone who has the time to help. Thanks so much.
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tennis tom
USA
4746 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2012 : 06:12:18
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Welcome Lu,
Good intro you wrote! Quite typical symptoms.
"Recovery is gradual...VERY gradual."(borrowed from SteveO).
Read SteveO's book BTW, especially since you are pregnant. This is not to scare you but to warn you of what bad doctor's can do. I'm still not even in the middle of "THE GREAT PAIN DECEPTION" and hoping it will be the LAST TMS book I have to read--I've read all the others twice each--slowly.
FEAR is the foundation for TMS! Usually fear instilled by the high-priests of pain--doc's, surgeons, anyone in a white coat (with a Jag payment due) or anyone who appears to be in great shape like a physio.
Read archived posts here about knees, using the "Search" button. Read "knee" "success stories".
It's good you are pregnant and cant't have surgery: google "failed knee surgery".
If your MRI showed nothing, that's a good indicator of TMS.
Your story shows a great amount of understanding of the emotional causes of TMS. The Good Doctor would qualify you to be one of his patients, amenable to his "knowledge penicillin cure". Keep reading and then sleep on it--"recovery is gradual...very gradual".
You can go cold turkey and JUST DO IT, like SteveO did, or if you have a swimming pool you can get you minimum thirty minutes of exercise running in the water.
If you only have time to read one person's posts here I would recommend Dave the Mods, his are the most concise in keeping with TMS theory. But read as much as you can of the posts archived here.
Look up your emotional life situation stress dis-ease causing situations, on the Rahe-Holmes list, in my sig that I will unlock for you--there's the science of TMS, that the skeptics can't wrap their unconscious heads around.
Georgie Oldfield is a TMS practitioner in the UK you can contact for help, phone sessions can work too.
TMS is caused by other people--relationships--although your story is very candid and honest, one person that's missing is hubs, where's he fit into the TMS picture/puzzle?
G'luck and cheers, I'm going back to my "segmented/non-insomnia
sleep".
Don't worry, be happy.
==================================================
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter
======================================================
"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod
=================================================
TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
Here's a map of TMS practitioners from the old Tarpit Yoga site, (click on the map by state for listings).:
http://www.tarpityoga.com/2007_08_01_archive.html |
Edited by - tennis tom on 10/30/2012 11:11:04 |
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carrick
Ireland
19 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2012 : 08:28:48
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Thanks so much for your reply Tennis Tom, I really apprecaite it. Hope you managed to get some sleep.... I will order SteveO's book today. Poor hubbie forgot to give him a mention! He is fantastic, supports me through thick and thin, he said he would take the pain if he could, but I wouldnt wish it on him or anyone...I asked him to read some of Sarno's book so that he understands where I'm at, he knows better than anyone that my thoughts control me so a strong possibility that I'm suffering from TMS. But then when he see's me trying my best to get up stairs, or struggle as I get out of the car, he thinks, maybe have the operation as soon as you can. I have a doctor in my family so couldnt even mention TMS to him, he just thinks, have the op and all will be well, if only it was that easy!!
Anyway, I will google failed knee surgery and keep thinking positive if I can, just need to fully believe that this is tms. I wish I knew what emotions I am repressing, so that I could face them or the situation head on.
Thanks again, I'll keep you posted on how I'm getting on.
Lu |
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tennis tom
USA
4746 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2012 : 11:04:42
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Hi Carrick,
Glad to be of service, after having done my TMS good deed, I went back to sleep very well thank you. Here's a link to an article that someone else here, (maybe Balto) poster here, my apologies if its someone else. This will alleviate another TMS worry of the post/industrial era and you will have once less thing to lie awake worrying about because you will be "just doing" instead:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16964783
Elective surgery for TMS stuff is always an option. Dr. Sarno says surgery is the best Placebo modern medicine offers. They call it a medical practice, I'm waiting for the docs to stop practicing and get real,(no offense to your brother), then I may entertain arthroscopic for my hip for a little nip and tuck. I have a file of the "world's best" hip surgeon recommended by my pals for a rainy day. In the meantime hardly a week goes by that I don't receive a google alert for last year's greatest new hip replacement technique now needing revision by the world's shysterist internet ambulance chasing law firm. I think it was Shakespeare, by way of Caesar, who said "Kill the lawyers first", (no offense to lawyers as mine is the best until he loses my case--then I want the other guy's for next time).
You DON'T need to know which emotions you are repressing, you just need to know Dr. Sarno's theory. By definition, you can't know, because you are repressing the emotions. Look at the Rahe/Holmes list in my sig and you will see the situations that create TMS tension.
Cheers
==================================================
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter
======================================================
"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod
=================================================
TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
Here's a map of TMS practitioners from the old Tarpit Yoga site, (click on the map by state for listings).:
http://www.tarpityoga.com/2007_08_01_archive.html |
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carrick
Ireland
19 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2012 : 11:45:10
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| Thanks again Tennis Tom. Now here comes the million dollar question!! With all you have read and understand, has your pain improved? You can be my inspiration if it has! And I'm sure the answer is yes, but was your pain severe enough at times to think this has to be something structural? I understand conditioning, but sometimes if I move my knee a certain way or take the stairs it feels like pieces of glass sticking into my knee, sharp, shooting pain - can this be TMS? What makes me think it could be tms is my personality, knowing the way my mind works and also the fact that once I read fred amir's book there was an improvment. I know this sounds a bit crazy, but I keep telling myself, please make my knee better and I will not stress and focus on the silly things any more - your health is your wealth! In a weird way I have changed my outlook since my knee pain started, I know what's important and who is important. I only feel like that in the past few months as when I could hardly walk, I was so depressed and didnt want to get out of bed some days. I did alot of crying and fret when I think of that time. Although it's still bad, I've made progress but still a long way to go before I'm back dancing and wearing high heels!! Thanks, Lu |
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tennis tom
USA
4746 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2012 : 22:49:14
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quote:
Originally posted by carrick
Thanks again Tennis Tom. Now here comes the million dollar question!! With all you have read and understand, has your pain improved?
Hell ya', where's my million dollars? |
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carrick
Ireland
19 Posts |
Posted - 10/31/2012 : 03:47:44
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| Ha ha! That's what I wanted to hear Tennis Tom, with all the money I've spent already, every treatment out there, I nearly could have given you a million! And it would have been money better spent...Thanks for your time, have a good day. Lu |
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tennis tom
USA
4746 Posts |
Posted - 10/31/2012 : 06:58:24
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Hi Carrick,
I've been where you've been, tried doing everything--tried doing NOTHIN--for six months "to rest it"--result "clinical" depression--near madness--DON'T do that one--that's the WORST!!! as you've probably learned. I've got the "broken glass" symptom in my elbow right now, with my TMS knowledge I think it's funny. Very intermittent--no rhyme or reason. I practice about 300 serves each Sat & Sun then play 2.5 to 5 hours a day--off today--damn it nobody called--so I'll run in the pool for half hour and backstroke half hour to stretch out yoga style and look at the clouds listening to FM on my waterproof radio. If I'd be TMS/worrying about it I'd be listening to all the nattering nabobs of negativity and sitting on the sidelines like a shark bit me and took a chunk out of my arm. Instead I'm "just doing it" like yesterday against the old farts, laughing and having a good time--no focusing on the "broken glass" feeling--it's just a TMS comical sideshow--and I'd be paying a doc for an MRI, a neurologist for an EMG and a PT to do the alphabet with my elbow for 12 sessions--instead of $10 grand wasted, weeks out of the game, sitting in a corner with a traction bag, being stoic and perhaps beginning down the "chronic" road to Walgreen's Snake-Oyl Land or Surgeryville--I'm playing and still dreaming.
Here's another gem from SteveO'S "GPD" for you:
Page 111, "Never Fear Sopherman is Here--TMS--Trust Marc Sopher""
"It was during this timeframe that I got a much needed confidence boost from Dr. Marc Sopher. Marc is a mindbody-experienced TMS physician who worked in Exeter, New Hampshire and had trained with Dr. Sarno. I will forever be grateful for him for helping with my recovery by responding to my email questions to him. After advising me that he could not ethically treat me over the Internet (emphasis mine), he did give my confidence by writing that, "if you do have TMS adding that "it certainly sounds as though you do"), I should drop all the timeframes I had "preset" for healing. He also told me that "any doubt" at all that I have TMS must be abolished--any "shadow of doubt" and the pain would continue. So with regard to monitoring my progress and speeding my recovery, I had to cease and desist and to let those memories all fade (emp. me). I needed to focus elsewhere--to forcefully guide my thoughts to somewhere else other then the painful areas."
Dr. Marc Sopher's book is cool, he was captain of his tennis team in college and the cover of his book has a picture of him running a marathon: http://www.tms-mindbodymedicine.com/why.htm
Cheers mate & G'luck!
tt |
Edited by - tennis tom on 10/31/2012 07:26:13 |
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carrick
Ireland
19 Posts |
Posted - 10/31/2012 : 09:03:48
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| Once again a massive thank you TT, that's exactly what I needed to hear. You have put a smile on my face, there is hope! SteveO's book is ordered and I'm on holiday for a few days next week, so instead of using vacation time to wallow in my own self pity and think about my pain or should I say obsess about it, "Why won't my knee get better, it's not fair, I'm so down (poor hubbie!!) etc etc"...I will read my book, practice some positive self talk and try and go for a swim, fingers crossed...I hear you on the depression front, not a nice time of my life...Anyway onwards and upwards! I've very impressed with you dedication to tennis by the way, good on ya. One thing I've learned is that it's better to keep busy, as soon as I have too much spare time, fear of the future really raises its ugly head...Chat soon and thanks, Lu |
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tennis tom
USA
4746 Posts |
Posted - 10/31/2012 : 09:07:48
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Annoying Knee Pain
