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deer
USA
30 Posts |
 Posted - 02/23/2005 : 12:54:08
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I would like to share with you all my story in greater detail.Around five years ago I started to have insomnia.I started to take over-the-counter sleep aids (tylenol PM etc...)every night(not a very good idea ).
About a year and a half later I started to get this strange pressure pain in between the eyes(above the nose).One day,when I pushed on the area between the eyes I got this terrible pain that felt like the inside of my brain was being split with a metal pole.It was a deep pain (deep inside my head ),not just a pain on my sculp.Anyways,I got an MRI and it was fine.However,the pressure pain in between my eyes remained.Shortly thereafter,I started to get similair pain in other parts of my head.Sometimes, when I would press on the painful area ,I would get a shooting pain from the area down my head.The shooting pain was very scary becuase it would be very intense(almost like lightening bolts).The pressure pain was more like a "tight pressure" feeling ,than pain.My head felt very tight ,like there was rubber bands tied tightly all over my sculp.About seven months later,I would be pressing on the problem area on my head and this time I would get a shooting pain down my neck.About four months later,the shooting pain would shoot down to my chest.Around four months later I started to get these intense shooting feelings in my chest (around the middle of chest).When I would get them I would jump up in my chair because of their intensity.They would "knock me out" for a few seconds,like you feel when a football knocks you in your chest and winds you.Sometimes,it feels like my heart is falling out and sometimes it feels like someone is shooting air down the middle of my chest.
Around two and a half years ago I started to get germ or dirt phobia/OCD.I would always be carefull that my "clean" clothing and sheets would not get "dirty" from the floor.I was afraid that there might be urine etc... tracked on the floor from the mens bathroom etc...or other dirty things.In addition,I would always make sure that my hands stayed "clean" so when I would touch my food it wouln't get contaminated from germs ect...
Around fifteen months ago my insomnia started to get even worse.At the same time,I started to become very aware of my pesonality flaws and I started to really focus on changing my self.I decided to become a new person.So I started to be an extrovert instead if an introvert,chilled out intead of tense and uptight,to concentrate on other people's problems instead of mine,and many other things.In addition, there was something going on that was extremely stressful.To add to this someone that I know started to really hurt my image as a person.He started to tell my friend negative things about my personality in order to ruin my relationship with him etc... This guy had a history of ruining people's relationships and had a ton of inner bitterness towards others.Anyways ,I had had it with this guy .I had seen him ruin other people's lives and I wasn't going to let him ruin my life.I was in a rage at him.I took him in a room and started crying ,telling him how he had really hurt my fellings in the past and present.I told him that I'm very sensitive etc...and I am trying to change my pesonality ect... .Never in my whole life have I felt so angry and hurt as I did then.In truth, the anger and hurt that I was experiencing was an accumulation of anger and hurt from my whole life.It was a feeling of rejection ,like no one understands my pesonality correctly.The next day I started to feel weak.All the muscles in my head felt extremely tight(especially between the eyes).I could barely close my jaw,becuase my muscles were so tight.My mind started racing.My speech became very rapid.I started to get very worried that I was going to "crack" (and go insane).So I started to search frantically for things to chill me out and relax me.Around evening time I could not think staight.I didn't remember simple things. That night after I took the sleep aid I was still unable to fall asleep my headache got really bad.I didn't know what was happening to me.So I called emergency and they just told me to relax.The next day,I remember collapsing and falling asleep while I was walking in my room.I slept almost the whole day.When I awoke I had no clue what day it was ect...The next day I also felt very weak .I could hardly get out of my bed.The day after,I started to lose it.I started to think that people were all talking about me.That night I didn't sleep a wink.The next day my thoughts continued to get worse.Everything that I would see I thought was a clue that somebody had set up for me to figure out what plan they had for me.Then I started to hear things etc...To keep it short I had a full blown dillusional/manic episode .I went to a psychiatrist and he gave me Zyprexa which worked after a day or two.I went off of Zyprexa after about two months.The psychiatrist said he can't make any diagnoses from just one episode.He said it might have been caused by the over the counter sleep aid that I had been taking for over three years(and suddenly stoppped)or the lack of sleep etc... Anyway,ever since that episode I have been very very fatigued.I was "diagnosed" with chronic fatigue.I went to Sarno about two and a half months ago.He said that all my symptoms are TMS equivilants,including the psychotic episode!
I still have the headaches,and the lightening bolts in my chest.In addition,I have anxiety disorder(especially social anxiety,a chronic scrotul itch,and hand and wrist pain(tendinitus). |
Edited by - deer on 02/24/2005 22:16:34 |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 16:36:11
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Hi Deer.
It sounds like something powerful is trying to come to the surface or creating a conflict in your subconscious.That is the only reason you would suffer from symptoms this intense.
I had OCD horribly,as well as drug induced paranoia(not good when I was heavily armed)...one alternated the other...in fact,addiction is sort of like self inflicted OCD...you only think about one thing OVER and OVER and OVER again.
it's hard from just getting a symptomological roll call to be of much help to you...tell us about YOU without the symptoms.
-peace
Baseball65 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 23:16:25
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Baseball thanks for replying to Deer. I concur with you.
I'd like to know where the board members are who chopped my neck off recently for being a hard-ass are?--doing the world tour perhaps? I'll refrain from asking any difficult questions for appearing impolite or insensitive. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 05:23:29
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quote from Deer:
"I went to Sarno about two and a half months ago.He said that all my symptoms are TMS equivilants,including the psychotic episode!"
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I don't know if there was a question in your post, but if there was, I think you answered it with your last line.
Get off the OTC sleep drugs, they are worse than having insomnia. There are very few recorded cases of true insomnia--that is, people who truly cannot sleep. When you are really tired, you will fall asleep. What do you do for exercise? Are you male or female? What is your occupation?
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deer
USA
30 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:13:09
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Tom ,I have not taken over the counter sleep medicine ever since the manic episode.I actually decided to stop taking it during the begining stages of the psychotic episode.Which makes me wonder that maybe stopping the sleep medicine suddenly, contributed to the episode.Intrestingly enough, when I was in the ER in the hospital during the full blown episode ,I told them that I had taken over the counter sleep aid for over three years and they said that that is very unsafe.However,my psychiatrist put me on Ambien for a while for sleep.
Actually,I was able to go off of Ambien about three and a half weeks ago and my sleep has been much better , thanks to Sarno.
In response to your other question:I am a male and I am a college student.Howover, I have not been able to go to school due to the chronic fatigue.For the past month and a half I have been exercising about four or five times a week.I do about forty five minutes of cardiovascular workout(ride the bike ,tredmill,and stepmill). |
Edited by - deer on 02/25/2005 14:24:21 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2005 : 17:33:17
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Quote from Dave:
"Dr. Sarno did not intend to write an encyclopedia of medical diagnoses. It shouldn't matter whether or not you see your specific symptom or diagnosis described in his book. It is more important whether or not you see your personality described. The symptoms are tailored to the individual; there is no way that Dr. Sarno could possibly write about all TMS manifestations."
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Deer,
I think the above quote from Dave is a very good explanation of TMS and it's relationship to individualized symptoms. Do you see yourself in Sarno's books? Have you talked with Sarno's TMS trained psychotherapists? |
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deer
USA
30 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2005 : 08:14:48
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| Tom, of course I see myself in Sarno's book.I am a perfectionist,a goodist, etc... to the extreme.The question I had is actually on a different post of mine.I'll bring that post up to the top again |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2005 : 09:22:08
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Deer,
Have you talked with Sarno's TMS trained psychotherapits? |
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deer
USA
30 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2005 : 10:50:23
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| Tom,no I have not.However, I am seeing a psychoanalyst that is working with me to uncover repressed emotions. |
Edited by - deer on 02/27/2005 10:52:10 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 02/28/2005 : 09:55:02
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Hi Deer,
If I rcall correctly, in one of your previous posts, you enquired if you need to do long term pyschotherapy to be "cured" of TMS pain. According to Donald Dubin, on Schechter's tapes, he said the most sessions he had to do with an especially stubborn case was 15.
My inderstanding of TMS theory is that you do not need to delve deep into your past and uncover some deeply buried "source" of psychological rage. All one needs to do is have a good understanding of how the TMS process works and not to fear that the pain is harmful.
Is your current therapist well versed in TMS theory? |
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deer
USA
30 Posts |
Posted - 02/28/2005 : 11:06:18
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Tom,my current therapist is not well versed in the TMS theory.However,when I told him ,he said that he agrees with the theory.
What I don't understand is, that if I only need to understand the process and get rid of the fear, than what will I gain by going to a TMS therapist.Furthermore,even Sarno says in his book that the therapist should be analytical,which would imply that it is necessary to work on recovering repressed emotions? |
Edited by - deer on 02/28/2005 11:10:09 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 02/28/2005 : 13:29:13
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Deer,
Right, all MOST people have to do to recover from TMS is to read the books, lose their fear that the symptoms are structuraly dangerous and accept and absorb the process into their psyche. A very FEW need psychotherapy. As I said before to you, I believe you said that you would like to get this over with ASAP, in the fewest sessions. Dubin said the most he had to do was 15.
What you have to gain by seeing a TMS pspychotherapist is that they understand TMS and don't have to re-invent the psychotherapy wheel. Since you have mentnioned that you saw Sarno and he said you have TMS and I believe you said you were seeing a psychiatrist and possibly another psychotherapist, I assume seeing Sarno and reading the books is not sufficient to cure your TMS.
I just feel if you have a problem with your Ford you go to a mechanic who specializes in Fords. If you have a Mercedes, you go to a mechanic who understands Mercedes. If you have TMS your odds are better to get fixed if you see a shrink who specializes and has experience with TMS, although any good mechanic could fix any car and any good shrink could fix any brain if they have the right parts, diagnostic devices and the correct wrenches. |
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my story in detail
