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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
 Posted - 06/20/2012 : 19:43:56
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The back pain is bad. And then the neck/shoulder pain started, first on one side now on the other. Sometimes even the arms are sore.
For the last 3 weeks i have been getting up in the middle of the night covered in sweat feeling nauseous and very gassy. There is a lot of discomfort. Yesterday night I was feeling real bad & took 2 panadol. I woke up at 4.30 feeling like I wanted to throw up & have been feeling rotten since then.
I don't feel hungry.
I know my gut has been a bit sensitive but honestly this is ridiculous. 2 panadol shouldn't cause so much grief.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
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avik
128 Posts |
Posted - 06/20/2012 : 21:07:39
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Hi Mala-
Im sorry to hear things are bad for you right now.
I dont know if it gives you any solace to hear, but I PROMISE you I have been where you are right now. Reading your post reminded me of the countless nights where the pins and needles in my arms and legs almost made me insane, the neck pain prevented me from moving while in bed, the TMJ was unbearable, the IBS was relentless and the insomnia was just the icing on the cake.
I will and continue to stand by journalling. IT IS THE ONLY THING that works for me when things get really bad. In my humble opinion, when things get REALLY bad and, when its a CULMINATION of a variety of pains/ailments, thats the brains way of setting off the highest alarm(s) to GET YOUR ATTENTION.
When I write, I write FURIOUSLY and DESPERATELY...like I am exercising my demons...like I am writing to save my own life...and I write and I write until I start to cry...because usually I find whats been bothering me deep down, and then I write more...cry more and harder...and the whole thing is a mess! BUT...its out. And there is a huge sense of relief. Most importantly, I find that just "thinking about whats bothering me" is not enough in the extreme times. I must write b/c writing allows me to dig far DEEPER and drudge up some deep dark pain/insecurity/anger/emotion that somehow got affected during that particular day and by finding it and drawing my CONSCIOUS attention to it, my sub-conscious lets up. In many cases, it GIVES UP.
At a minimum, recognizing and expelling whatever is going on in your sub-conscious right now, will alleviate some of the pain. The brain WILL NOT have to set off the highest alarms, if you make it realize "I hear you...I am focusing on it...I am dealing with it".
I wish you well and a peaceful night's sleep. |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 06/20/2012 : 21:55:33
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Avik, thx for yr quick response. It does give me a lot of comfort to hear that you HAVE BEEN where I am now coz it means you no longer are. Just out of interest, did you have all those symptoms at the same time or one after the other? I have to admit that its hard not to think that there is something serious going on & that one thing is causing the other, physically I mean.
Its interesting to note that journalling works well for you. I have to admit I did a lot initially but not much recently. I try to think of what is happening now . I also try to follow Steve & Sarno's advice about ignoring the pain & doing something to take the mind off it but it hasn't been working too well. Maybe I have too much time on my hands.
I'm going to sit down ,think & try to write about why this has suddenly gone so bad. In other words what's going on that has set those 'alarms off". I hope I can find out what's bothering me.
I did make a serious decision about something recently which may have infuriated my id. I am aware that it may have caused it much rage .
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
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avik
128 Posts |
Posted - 06/20/2012 : 22:55:06
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Mala-
I had over 20 different TMS equivalents (many of which put me in the hospital), for roughly 15 years. They constantly moved around...would ago away then pop up again later.
Two years ago, they all hit me at ONCE.
I missed TWO WHOLE months of work, feel into a deep depression and honest to god felt like I was dying. Although I have been through some horrific pain (parasthesia being prob the worst)-nothing came close to the chronic fatigue. There are no words to describe what it feels like when you tell your leg to move and it does so 2-3 seconds after you asked it. It was terrifying.
THANK GOD it all happened to me at once. That was my FINAL ALARM and what many doctors coin as Fibromyalgia. I had it full blown.
The upside?
It FORCED me to deal with what was going on.
I had been abused as a child (until 18 yrs of age), my brother in law died in front of me when I was 17 and he was 22), I went through drug addiction and tremendous loss. I am a perfectionist, goodist and a constant worrier. I am a perfect TMS SPECIMEN!
The blessing I got was getting hit by everything at once because it was either giving up on life completely or, making once last bid attempt at REALLY digging into my deepest and darkest emotions.
I began to write EVERY HOUR, EVERY DAY and did so for 10 days. Through the pain. I wrote 100 pages of pure emotion (and nearly 500 over the following 2 months) and I literally got better and better every day. Within a month I was free of 60-70% of the pains that had plagued me for 15+ yrs. My chronic fatigue lifted like it was nothing more than a mild cold!
1 and a half yrs later and I am about 90% pain free now. I am still battling with the really old, stubborn issues but I will get to them just like I got to everything else. Every once in a while when I write, I learn/find something that I had not found previously and am amazed. They are revelations that I could not believe I had not found earlier.
Every time this happens, I chip away at that last 10% of remaining pain... |
Edited by - avik on 06/20/2012 22:57:43 |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2012 : 04:46:03
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Wow Avik, thanks for sharing all that. You have overcome a lot. Well done on yr achievement. It means a lot to read that kind of recovery coz it give me hope.
Take care & good luck with the remaining 10%.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
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andy64tms
USA
589 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2012 : 07:52:57
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Thanks for sharing this Avik, I wondered what your story was, and I now have a better understanding of your condition. I got tired with the journaling, but see that your method of speed writing makes sense. It is similar to Dr. Schubie's method. I have a lot to get out,and since you mentioned it, have been looking at Bruce Lipton's videos. I'm off windsurfing, see you.
Thinking of you Mala, get well
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Taking a break from Wiki Edu. due to windsurfing priorities
Charlie horse on neck for 20 years. (to be evicted soon.)
Books: Healing Back Pain
& Unlearn your Pain |
Edited by - andy64tms on 06/21/2012 08:08:36 |
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drh7900
USA
194 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2012 : 07:59:07
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Avik, I also wanted to thank you for the post. As I am relatively new here (been around for about a month or so), I didn't have much insight into what you've been through as I have not read much of the historical posts here...mostly tried to pick up on the current stuff.
I suppose I've been fortunate not to experience many symptoms all at the same time...having back/buttock/leg pain so severe you can't get out of bed is enough to throw you into a deep and dark depression. Having the expectancy of life-long pain doesn't help. I have been in the darkest of dark places...trying to decide if the grief I would cause my loved ones was worth ending my own suffering...and trying to decide what would be the easiest way to do so. To have other symptoms on top of that may have pushed me over the edge...I'm grateful that never happened.
The good news is we've all found out about TMS and we don't have to dread a life filled with pain and equivalents. We can understand and combat that which ails us.
Mala, if your gut has been sensitive lately, I would strongly urge you to consider modifying your diet to heal your gut. There has been a lot of study lately on the psychological effects of a healthy/unhealthy gut. Recent studies have shown that good probiotics in mice can help them to become more relaxed. Remember, in TMS teachings, the mind and body are not separate entities...they are the mindbody and communication is a two-way street. Proper fuel for this machine that houses our mind is important. If you had oil leaking into the antifreeze reservoir in your car, you would fix the head gasket allowing the leak. In the same way, if there are perforations in your gut (aka "leaky gut") due to your body not handling well the things you eat, it CAN and WILL affect you psychologically because it's all the same system (check into books like "Wheat Belly" and "Gut and Psychology Syndrome"). Repair of this system is important. I feel like I'm beginning to preach good diet here...but people have recovered from things like asthma and even autism by healing their gut. I'm not saying your gut is the cause of your problems...but I am saying that just like you need to treat yourself psychologically, you also need to make sure you are providing your mindbody with the means to heal itself.
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Dustin |
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andy64tms
USA
589 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2012 : 08:06:58
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Sorry Avik, I don't think it was you who mentioned Bruce Lipton's videos.
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Taking a break from Wiki Edu. due to windsurfing priorities
Charlie horse on neck for 20 years. (to be evicted soon.)
Books: Healing Back Pain
& Unlearn your Pain |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2012 : 18:18:19
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Hey Andy , good to hear from you. Have fun windsurfing & don't forget to point those toes.
Dustin, I too have had very dark thoughts recently. A few days ago I attended a cocktail/dinner/talk arranged by my bank for their clients. One speaker talked about life expectancy. Apparently the average life expectancy in Asia /Pacific is around 82 but one spouse in a couple will live to 92.
I kid you not but my heart just sank & my back decided to hurt just a bit more. I turned to my husband & groaned. I said it better be you & not me. Honestly I can't bear thinking that I have so many years of suffering ahead. (yes I know I'm thinking negative) .
You mention diet. I too have thought about it seriously. It has now been 4 days since I've been gluten free. I met a lady 2 days ago who turned out to be my younger sister's ex classmate & she told me that her son had been diagnosed with ADHD/mild autism/learning difficulties when he was 3. Doctors pretty much said that he would have theses problems throughout his life. Well she put him on a gluten free, lactose free diet & saw astonishing changes within a year. He is now 10, like any other child, doing very well in a mainstream school.
There is far too much evidence that shows DIET MATTERS to ignore.
The only thing that worries me a bit is that I don't want to seem to be pandering to my id. You know making more & more concessions to please/ appease it. After all shouldn't I be ignoring ?
What say others here?
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
Edited by - mala on 06/21/2012 18:20:17 |
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avik
128 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2012 : 18:25:57
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I agree that diet is an important factor that any person (regardless of health) needs to consider. That said, I dont like anything that could possibly allow me to blame the pain on anything BUT TMS.
Simply too many people have completely healed themselves by solely applying the TMS techniques that there is no reason for some (like you Mala) to introduce a dietary factor into the mix and possibly confuse you as to what is really making your pains go away.
Assuming you have gone through all the necessary testing and that all of them have come up negative for any serious structural damage, then you have TMS and you need to treat it as such.
Keep in mind that your mind (no pun intended) WANTS YOU to consider a dietary solution as it is yet another diversion, that will prevent you from dealing with whatever deep dark emotions have caused these issues for you in the first place. What better thing for you right now (from the sub-conscious mind's perspective) then to get all wrapped up in a new and complex diet, that requires you to directly and indirectly focus on it throughout most of your day?
That is not to say that dietary changes arent advantageous...I would just be suspect of anything that prevents you from digging deeper and getting to the bottom of your TMS-based pains. |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2012 : 07:19:46
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Hi Mala,
quote:
The only thing that worries me a bit is that I don't want to seem to be pandering to my id. You know making more & more concessions to please/ appease it. After all shouldn't I be ignoring ?
Personally, I don't think we should really ignore any part of ourselves, although I'm really not sure exactly what you mean by your "id" ... but I wonder if you have tried the approach of SOOTHING your id in the past and what the results were?
Could it be possible that by pleasing (soothing) your id, your rage/soothe ratio would get more in balance, and possibly be HELPFUL in reducing your PAIN (rage?)
Anyway, as I said, I'm not exactly clear what you mean, so don't know, but just thought I'd put this idea on the table (and of course, usual TMS disclaimer that no one here can rule out physical causes for anyone else, nor say definitely that anyone actually HAS TMS).
BTW, did you happen to listen to the recording of Alan's Gordon's TMS webinar ? I thought of you when I heard it. http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=7462
Hope you're feeling better soon.
RSR |
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drh7900
USA
194 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2012 : 08:38:40
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I do agree with Avik that you can't place blame on anything physical. I don't want to lead you down the wrong path here. I would suggest that if you intend to continue being gluten free (which I applaud you for), don't let it consume your focus. Eat healthy for the sake of being healthy and properly fueling your physical body AND mind, but keep thinking psychological for your TMS issues.
As for "pandering to the id" vs. ignoring it...realize that ignoring the id is part of the problem. That's the act of suppression and ultimately repression. The id (inner child) is irrational and illogical. The ego (inner adult) is more mature and more logical and the super ego (inner parent) is the controlling part of your personality that insists you do all good things and be liked by everyone and maintain a front that you are perfect. When the ego sides with the super ego and the id goes ignored, the id angers and fills with rage. This rage is what causes our pain. That's not to say we should cater to id's every whim...after all...that would be irrational and illogical. BUT...you do, as RageSootheRatio said, need to soothe the id. Recognize the emotions...heck, throw a tantrum every now and then (in a safe way!)...or find ways to discharge your negative emotions such as meditation, positive thinking, relaxation. I think in SteveO's book, he even talks about using self-reward for doing things that you used to be afraid to do because of the TMS symptoms. Whatever you do, don't just fully ignore those id-type emotions and feelings...that's what gets you in the TMS boat to begin with. Recognize them...feel them...and find a healthy way to discharge them.
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Dustin |
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TaylorJoh
USA
113 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2012 : 20:11:00
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quote:
There is far too much evidence that shows DIET MATTERS to ignore.
I agree. Never underestimate the importance of what we put in our bodies. A healthy body promotes a healthy mind and vice versa. They are both equally connected. That is why it is called the "Mind Body connection".
Lacking important nutrients like vitamin B12, Iron, D, Magnesium etc can wreak havoc on the body AND mind.
A few months ago I started having severe depression, suicidal thoughts, lethargy like I've never experienced, tingling and electrical sensations throughout my body, body pain, difficulty taking in deep breaths, etc.
I was treating it as TMS because I've had OCD type issues in the past regarding my parents. I just delved back into my Sarno books and tried to keep on course. But I kept getting worse and worse until I thought I might have a nervous breakdown.
Come to find out I was anemic and lacking in B12, Iron, D and magnesium. The reason is because I went almost a year and half without eating due to really bad gastritis. When I resolved my gastritis symptoms I still ate like crap.
It has been really difficult to turn around the damage I've done to my body. I'm getting regular vitamin B12 shots and taking supplements. I'm also eating like a champ now too lol.
This is the second time I've treated my symptoms as TMS when it was a dangerous real medical condition. The first one was a pelvic infection that I thought was just old TMS rearing it's ugly head until I got so sick that I was transported to the hospital in an ambulance.
Thinking physical is just as important as thinking psychological. If you're in pain mentally or physically it's important to see a doctor to rule out the physical. If nothing is found, then treat it as TMS.
Anyway, I am now a big believer that what you eat or don't eat greatly effects the MIND, not just the body. I also believe that the healthier you eat, better the mental strength and fortitude to help you combat TMS symptoms.
If not eating wheat or gluton makes you feel better keep doing it. I believe sometimes things just do not agree with our bodies.
When I was going through my gastritis (TMS) I literally was only able to eat cream of wheat and oatmeal for 2 months. Before that there were very few foods I could eat but it got so bad that I couldn't eat anything really. When I treated it as TMS it went away and I could eat everything again except for food that had ingredients that were fermented like vinegar and wine. I get crampy and I get a lot of inflammation in my joints. My body just doesn't like it for some reason, so I just don't eat it.
Keep up the good work on eating healthy! I feel a sense of pride when I make something healthy to eat. I know I'm being kind to my MIND and body when I do.
Good luck and hope you feel better soon.
Taylor
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2012 : 00:05:11
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I think I have always eaten healthy . Being raised in the far east generally means less red meat, more green veggies, fish, rice, wholesome soups but I have been reading that more & more women especially those going perimenopause & those who are menopausal seem to develop food sensitivities especially gluten & lactose intolerance This may be due to changes in hormones.
[quote]
As for "pandering to the id" vs. ignoring it...realize that ignoring the id is part of the problem. That's the act of suppression and ultimately repression. The id (inner child) is irrational and illogica/quote]
I am confused about this. We are supposed to NOT ignore the id but we know that it demands irrationally & illogically. We cannot possibly cater to its every whim surely? And what if something it wants is near impossible (socially unacceptable) ?
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2012 : 07:40:17
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Mala, I think one can "soothe" one's id, without necessarily doing things that are outright "socially unacceptable." And obviously there are things that are unacceptable in ANY culture, but then there are other things which are maybe just socially unacceptable to our PERSONAL culture.
I think it is interesting that you use the words "pander" and "cater to its EVERY whim" ... how about.. just loving your id? being compassionate to its FEELINGS ?? ;o) Letting it express itself? Giving it alternatives to meet its need? maybe "catering" to it, just enough so that there is some peace inside? SOOTHING it?
Because otherwise isn't it going to feel RAGEFUL and if that is not acceptable ... then wouldn't that produce pain in some form or other?
RSR |
Edited by - RageSootheRatio on 06/24/2012 08:18:34 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
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In a dark place
