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Composer
USA
16 Posts |
 Posted - 04/16/2012 : 21:41:05
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I've had excruciating pains swell and diminish and swell, etc..over the last 20+ years after teenage years in psychiatric care, suicide attempts, homelessness, etc. I've just found this forum and have been digging into it deeply, read Sarno's first two books, started seeing a therapist who knows Sarno, and started the program in the Schubiner book.
Also I happen to be almost 1 year into in a 4 year Feldenkrais Training Program right now. After reading Sarno's books and reading posts on this forum, I seriously considering quitting it. Yet, I realized I would be attending it even if I had no pain. It fascinates me. It's not meant to be corrective. However, I probably wouldn't have begun it if it weren't for decades of pain.
I have a sense that finding the perfect path for recovery may be another manifestation of perfectionism that accompanies TMS symptoms.
I have periods when I can bike very long distances, play the piano for hours, do yoga, etc. and feel pretty comfortable and only have some stiffness when sitting or bending. Then, every now and then, the spasm hits and life sucks for awhile.
I am definitely a person who tries to do things perfectly, and I feel stress about doing the Sarno program perfectly, i.e. leaving Feldenkrais, etc. I have no doubts about the psychological nature of TMS, but it is MindBody, right? And, therefore, this whole "think psychological" thing doesn't mean that if I think about my body's condition and detail it's changes over time, I'm punished because I didn't follow the prescription to the letter, right?
THese are some of the irrational thoughts I have about this, that if I don't do it exactly right, I'll be punished by another spasm. But I sense that this fear is what leads to further anxiety and spasm.
So, if fear is significantly connected causally to TMS symptoms then might any fear of not doing the TMS program perfectly cause the pain to persist? |
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Uma
USA
31 Posts |
Posted - 04/17/2012 : 01:37:57
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Hi, you responded to an earlier post by me but I hadn't checked back in a while. We sound like we can really relate...I am also partway into a Feldy-type program!! and having the same issues. Perfectionist for sure. I've also had those moments where the TMS approach seemed sooooo clear, where I've had moments, hours, or even days free from pain simply from realizing it was suppressing emotion. Those moments make me really want to quit anything that makes the body feel good other than this approach, you know? Then I reason, yes Feldy is mind-body so what about that? People are having shifts in the training about their perceptions of their world, their interactions with it, their tendencies to not take care of themselves, to ignore their needs, etc. Relearning what we missed out on in a healthier version of our infant/childhood development. And plenty of people are having big a-has and big overcomings of this and that aches and pains. But somehow I feel I am different. I am the one who can't say, "yahoo, my left hip pain is better!" because I'm the one saying, "owwww, even if after a movement lesson or a private lesson I find relief for minutes or hours, then suddenly my whole body is burning again for days" in a cycle that seems neverending. So much rage seems to build up that the body has to hold back, that just doesn't seem to be going on in the average feldy student dealing with this or that ache or pain. Also, addressing the way the limbs are connected to the core, the way our weight is centered, etc. etc. etc. I think ultimately it's cool and wholistic but right now I have to wonder if it is too much focus on the structural. I know real healing goes on there because the teacher specializes in brain injuries and gets real results that she is world-famous for. But I question every day whether it is conflicting with my TMS healing.
People do confirm that my constant anxiety over what to do is related to the perfectionism and it's probably better tension-wise to just do what I want. But still, I so understand your perspective!!! Would love to relate more about it. |
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Perfect TMS
