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andy64tms
USA
589 Posts |
 Posted - 03/01/2012 : 14:38:36
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After reading Darko’s and Tennistom’s comments on getting in touch with your emotions I was somewhat perplexed.
Then one evening at bedtime I turned to Utube to listen to Carol King and James Taylor. The song I picked was “You’ve Got a Friend”. I felt enjoyment and was soothed by the words and melody.Then it happened. I noted under comments someone had written: “Awesome song, my mum passed away, we played this song, she was my best friend”. You see my mother never taught me that she should be my best friend; she was the opposite of this it seemed to me. This lonely sentence struck at my inner soul, as tears welled up uncontrollably in my eyes, and I cried for the very first time since her death last May.
I dried my eyes, and went to bed, keeping this to myself - very English. The next day I related what had happened to my loving and understanding wife, we discuss my poisonous family matters on occasion. You see my wife is best friend to our three grown up sons, they call often. I felt guilty and apologized to her for the resentment I have at these times. We cuddled.
So you see the TMS program has additional benefits for our loved ones. I think music is going to help get my feelings out.
Thanks Darko and Tennistom
Andy |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 03/01/2012 : 15:18:53
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maaaaaaaaaaaaaate....there you go, behind that stiff upper lip pommy exterior there is a soft and chewy inside!
Keep at it, sounds like there is heaps of emotions you can acknowledge and experience around your mother....and "stories" you might need to change so they serve you better.
When my dad passed it was a big issue for me also....I held heaps of it in....didn't work so well.
Good on you Andy, keep up the work and push even harder.
D |
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andy64tms
USA
589 Posts |
Posted - 03/01/2012 : 17:31:53
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Thanks Darko,
I’m a big TMS softie really.
Actually heaps and heaps and heaps of emotions. My brain tends to cover up the nasty events that happen to me, some of them 50 years past, so recollection for me is hard. I think it important to be honest, and not exaggerate. Some of them seem quaintly funny, so I am having a few laughs as well.
I started journaling again and finished day 2 of Wiki Program. It’s going to be a long haul.
Thanks for all of your posts I’ve read many of them, I see you are very active here.
Good recovery
Andy |
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My moment of truth
