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cnotes11
USA
49 Posts |
 Posted - 02/29/2012 : 01:15:30
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I've written on here a couple times before and usually gotten good responses, so I thought I'd try again.
I'm assuming that most people here have experienced some type of chronic health problem of one type or another. Mine happens to be back pain which has gone on for 7 years. I am doing what I can to help myself and have hope for the future, but at times the present moment gets quite difficult.
I am wondering if there is anything other members would suggest to do when frustration and pain seem to reach a breaking point? I typically just fall apart and then try to pick myself up a couple days later. If you have chronic pain you know what I'm talking about. Its the times where you feel that simply not existing would be much better than the current state of things. And I dont mean this in as depressing a way as it probably sounds. Just a simple statement of fact.
I've thought about posting this to some other support groups but find so many of them to be self pitying and energy sucking. I'm not looking for pity...I am just hoping someone knows what I'm talking about and can offer something of use.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post.
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 02/29/2012 : 02:49:39
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Hey mate,
I have been there plenty myself. Used to hope I just didn't wake up some days. I can't give you everything in this post but I'll give you a couple of bits of gold. Have yourself a really big cry....I mean really let it out. You should be choking and coughing you're crying so hard.....this helped me and it was only through the fact that I had a massive breakdown that I found this helped. Try getting really angry also, feel the rage pumping through your body....really get the emotion running and sit in it for as long as you can, it will be uncomfortable
Next, take a look at all the thoughts going on in your head. At the time my thoughts were VERY negative and this just causes you negative emotions. Hopelessness, frustration, depression, sadness, victimization and bitterness to name just a few.
One thing I can, hand on my heart, promise you is that it's not as bad as you think it is....and I really get how bad your situation appears to you. You have to understand that the mind is one MASSIVE BS producing drama machine....and your mind is making the situation much much worse than it really is!! Re-read that paragraph cause it's so important. Get control of your thoughts as best you can, ignore the negative stuff, it's not true, they're just thoughts.
Couple of other things that really helped was to get my energy levels up so I could "fight the fight" in my head and not let life push me around. Vital greens and Colloidal minerals will help with that....and eat heaps and heaps of veggies. Trust me on veggies thing. When you're low on energy the emotional breakdowns seem to come much easier
Also, not sure if you are but I got massively depressed. 5HTP and L-Tyrosine pulled me out of it. 5HTP is natural and works better than anti-depressant. Search some of my older posts and google it.
Good luck mate....you'll be fine many of us have passed through this ugly place, it's only temporary 
Try and laugh more, look up funny stuff on youtube daily.
D |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 02/29/2012 : 03:00:30
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Sorry to hear about your pain, I'm stuck myself between TMS and considering surgery for my hip. I'm looking forward to reading SteveO's new TMS book which has just arrived. I'v found over the years reading books by real TMS'ers, who've been there and broken through to be inspirational. Books by Sopher, Amir and now by SteveO. He's been very helpful to me personally and others here at the board. I'm looking forward to reading what he has to say about hips since as far as I've read it's literally a wobbler as far as TMS symptoms go and I'm tired of being asked on a daily basis why I don't get a hip replacement.
Here's a link to his blog and ordering it, I'm anxiously looking forward to reading it for a TMS "knowledge penicillin booster":
http://paindeception.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=102&Itemid=163 |
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cnotes11
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - 02/29/2012 : 04:47:57
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@tom - thanks ill check into the book..I like the idea of idea of a patient/suffer/normal person writing on the topic not an "expert". I wish you all the best with you hip.
@darko - appreciate the lengthy reply. I think crying is good advice, in fact I've tried to use it as an emotional release. Unfortunately I don't cry easily, which probably says something about how repressed I am, but sad movies/music haven't seemed to cut it and no matter how dire my situation has been I just can't seem to cry. I'd like to.
Curious where you were going with getting angry? Obviously releasing expressing anger can be a healthy thing, but what exactly did you mean by sit with it? From my experience every time I get angry I generally feel worse afterward.
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 02/29/2012 : 05:31:10
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Learning to connect to and release emotions was a lengthy process for me. The thing that really got me started was a book called "The Journey" by Brandon Bays....I then also saw a "Journey therapist/practitioner" who helped me connect to my emotions. I took it from there, however just look into any type of Emotional Freedom Techniques. I threw the bit in there about anger just to give you some options...but ultimately mate you know what you need....just listen you your gut
You seemed to resonate with the whole crying thing so I would say focus on that.
Once thing I used to really get my emotions moving was something called Karma Yoga. Its something I learned out of a book called "Absolute Happiness" and I have used it recently.....it really works well
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=7152&whichpage=2&SearchTerms=karma,yoga
it's hard to explain but once you've done a bit of this ETF stuff you can just "go inside" and I get this weird rush of tension and uncomfortableness all through my body.....I think they call it emotion
Maybe you feel worst after the anger because there is lots of it and the mind is trying harder to protect you??
Get started and stick with it, as it could take some time before you get results.....and don't be surprised if things actually get worse for you physically, this is likely a sign that you're getting close.
Sorry if this post isnt so structured, it's late and I'm tired
D
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 02/29/2012 : 09:41:41
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Another awesome post Darko.
With regards to EFT, does this involve tapping?
Thanks again. |
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 02/29/2012 : 09:44:40
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Cnotes,
Don't be hard on yourself. Your tone sounds like you might be. No one is judging you here, trust me! To need a little support is normal and human. The trick is, going on from there too a place of healing with what you've learned.
Thought and prayers your way. You can get control of TMS. It's a process. |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 02/29/2012 : 15:40:27
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Thanks Bryan,
with regards to tapping, it definitely appears to be a very good EFT. I have very little experience with it as I only looked into it the other week and stumbled upon this
http://thetappingsolution.com
Make sure you watch the movie shorts.....looks very good
Up until I saw this I thought tapping was one some kind of new age crystal healing BS. It's funny how the mind take us out of the game, but I now have a very different opinion of it based on what I have seen.
Sedona method is excellent and you can do it any time of the day without looking like a crazy. Not a good look if everytime I get upset at someone I start tapping on my face 
D |
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wrldtrv
666 Posts |
Posted - 02/29/2012 : 18:03:03
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I thought the tapping was part of EMDR, another practice. I tried it once and nothing happened, though I didn't expect anything.
Great posts as always, Darko. I'm also curious about your 5htp and L-tyrosine regimen because prescription meds has never worked well for me.
Cnotes11, you seem very young to have had such back pain for 7 years. That would have put you at 18 when it started, right? I assume you've had all the tests and they found nothing in particular. This might give you some perspective. I'm 57 now, but during a several year period in my mid-20's to early 30's I had chronic back pain. I went to chiros for the entire period and never felt any better. It was only when my insurance stopped paying for chiro that the back pain disappeared completely, which proved it was psychosomatic! Around the same time I went to an ortho and had a complete x-ray, which was completely normal so my pain all along was obviously stress-related. That didn't mean it wasn't painful. Sometimes it was terribly painful. Every time I went to the chiro I received another nocebo (something wrong with your back).
From time to time since then I have a recurrence of back pain when I under particular stress. I almost always have bodily symptoms of one kind or another and I know now most of them are a combination of tms and hypochondria and this knowledge helps. Not completely, because I haven't quite learned how to quickly accept that a particular symptom is tms and not harmful. Fear keeps me from doing so most of the time. You may have realized that it is fear that is your biggest enemy, the very thing that keeps the symptoms going. Whatever it takes, a leap of faith, not caring about the symptom anymore--whatever works--is necessary to move ahead.
Another thing I have learned that I wish I would put into practice more often: I can't think of a single time when I challenged a symptom that my fears came true. Just last week I ran a marathon and beforehand I had many fears about things going wrong. Of course, none of these materialized and I had an uneventful race. Unfortunately, I seem to be a slow learner and have to repeat my mistakes many, many times before I learn the lesson. Time wasted. Life wasted. Don't waste life. |
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andy64tms
USA
589 Posts |
Posted - 02/29/2012 : 19:46:25
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Hi Colin, cnotes11
Let’s start you off with some humor
http://tensionmyositissyndrome.blogspot.com/
This was posted by MainEventMike this week a new comer like you and I, and I think it should be compulsory viewing.
Secondly, I got to a breaking point the other day, and felt better for posting about it. “The only Possible Explanation”. I recommend doing something, anything. I chose two bowls of raisin bran, bright lights for clarity, and inwardly screamed at this pain to go away as I crunched. I finished off with two hours of Yoga to bring me down off the perch. Make a list of things to do in anticipation of your next bout of mind or physical pain. Act them out immediately, don’t wait two days it’s a waste of your time. I think the brain is like a dog that needs immediate feedback when it’s bad, (as in Caesar Milan the dog whisperer). If you let it do it’s own thing, it will really take advantage and piss you off properly.
We all know what you are talking about, there is lots of comparable experience here you are in the right place. The pity thing is OK as it gets people going. The next step is the real challenge, what’s causing your pain in the first place? I’m still working on this one!
Thank you for posting, the answers from Darko and tennis tom helped me.
Andy |
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cnotes11
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - 02/29/2012 : 23:47:23
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@Darko - I've had some experience with the tapping EFT in the past, had alittle success but nothing drastic. I am unfamiliar with the sedona method, karma yoga and "the journey"...ill look them up.
What you said about feeling worse might mean that I'm getting closer is an encouraging thought. I sincerely hope thats the case.
@Bryan3000 - You are correct about being hard, I've always been a perfectionist. But I'm actively trying to be easier on myself these days. Thanks for the kind word. |
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cnotes11
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - 03/01/2012 : 00:10:27
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@wrldtrv - Yes I was 18 when it started, I was an athlete and ostensibly healthy. Yes I've pretty well run the gauntlet of treatment, I have no official Dx, I'm pretty much on my own now don't see any doctors. Am just trying to work with my emotions, experience and any "alternative" treatments that do anything for me.
I relate to what you've said about chiro's. I spent alot of time, energy and money with them -- and to be honest think I am worse off for it. But I try not to hold a grudge.
I agree with you about fear, but of course getting past it can very challenging and for some people a lifelong struggle. I try to allow myself to feel fear without condition but not let my mind run away with it.
Congratulations on running a marathon, thats a big accomplishment. I would like to get there one day. But at this point trying to exercise through my symptons...psychosomatic or not...generally leads to more pain.
Thank you for your thoughts and perspective. I'm doing everything I can not to waste my life.
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cnotes11
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - 03/01/2012 : 00:20:37
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@ Andy - Thanks for writing. I think just knowing other people are in the same situation is helpful. Although it would be nice if no one was at all.
Metaphorically speaking I feel like I'm in a wheel chair about half the time, but no one can see it and few if any understand. I agree with you, people like darko and tennistom are doing a great service by answering people on here. |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 03/01/2012 : 05:16:30
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Wrldtrv, search the forum as I have posted about them quite a bit. Only useful to you if you're suffering a bit of depression, also helps calm you. Studies show it works as well if not better than the chemical stuff when it comes to depression. The body takes 5HTP and turns it into serotonin, but uses L-Tyrosine (amino acid) in the process.
Both are natural...
You'll sleep heaps better when taking it also.
I get it from Vitacost.com...very cheap
D
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 03/01/2012 : 05:33:24
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quote:
Originally posted by Darko
Both are natural...
Marijuana and magic mushroom are natural too! :)
I have a friend who suffer badly from depression. I'll tell him about this. Thanks Darko. |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 03/01/2012 : 07:23:55
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quote:
Posted - 02/29/2012 : 02:49:39
Hey mate,
I have been there plenty myself. Used to hope I just didn't wake up some days. I can't give you everything in this post but I'll give you a couple of bits of gold. Have yourself a really big cry....I mean really let it out. You should be choking and coughing you're crying so hard.....this helped me and it was only through the fact that I had a massive breakdown that I found this helped. Try getting really angry also, feel the rage pumping through your body....really get the emotion running and sit in it for as long as you can, it will be uncomfortable
Next, take a look at all the thoughts going on in your head. At the time my thoughts were VERY negative and this just causes you negative emotions. Hopelessness, frustration, depression, sadness, victimization and bitterness to name just a few.
One thing I can, hand on my heart, promise you is that it's not as bad as you think it is....and I really get how bad your situation appears to you. You have to understand that the mind is one MASSIVE BS producing drama machine....and your mind is making the situation much much worse than it really is!! Re-read that paragraph cause it's so important. Get control of your thoughts as best you can, ignore the negative stuff, it's not true, they're just thoughts.
Couple of other things that really helped was to get my energy levels up so I could "fight the fight" in my head and not let life push me around. Vital greens and Colloidal minerals will help with that....and eat heaps and heaps of veggies. Trust me on veggies thing. When you're low on energy the emotional breakdowns seem to come much easier
Good luck mate....you'll be fine many of us have passed through this ugly place, it's only temporary
Try and laugh more, look up funny stuff on youtube daily.
D
quote:
Marijuana and magic mushroom are natural too! :)
LOL and so is diacetylmorphine...aka Heroin. It's just a flowers' residue with two bound amino acids
(ba duhm-CRASH) but seriously folks.
Darko's answer was epic. After a decade doing this stuff (and it works every time) I have a laundry list of
1. Things that can elicit a crying meltdown aka. certain films, books,etc.
2.Reading the same damn books over again and reviewing the ten thousand notes in the margins (usually a new episode means I accidentally fell asleep)
3. FULL ON RAGE OUTS. Baseball bats to furniture... superhard workouts alone in the gym cussing like a sailor with tourettes. Usually the quicker I deal with it the sooner it disappears. It's funny how it 'creeps' up on you sometimes.
4. The day I get the big Buddah laugh because it tries to go somewhere else....which means, it's going,going,gone
you guys rule.
BB65 |
Edited by - Baseball65 on 03/01/2012 07:25:34 |
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cnotes11
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - 03/01/2012 : 07:59:22
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@baseball65 mind sharing your laundry list?..It is a subjective thing no doubt, but ive tried various approaches and haven't been able to get through the "men shouldn't cry" conditioning.
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 03/01/2012 : 08:43:15
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At the end of my rope I decide to go just a bit further, beyond the rope.
What I mean by this is that rather than resisting the impending meltdown I embrace it. In fact I copyrighted the word Meltdown in 1995 for a spiritual psychological process which I teach in my work as therapist and seminar leader. A short, written version, which I've talked about here from time to time is this:
--separate the thoughts from the sensations/feelings
--they are in a bad, entangled marriage and need a time out from each other
--with the thoughts, change them immediately to something much better - in fact go as high as you can - from "I'm hopeless" to "I'm inevitably returning to perfect health like it or not" for example
--with the feelings and sensations, welcome them, don't resist them, breathe into them and follow them down their little body tunnels like a hunter or pakman mouth that just wants to travel around your whole body, or the field of awareness of the feeling, and eat them all up for lunch, yum yum - like a pig enjoying rolling in ****
--these sensations are just stuck energy, and your loving attention to the little bundles or knots of stuckness releases the energy back into circulation
--you have to breathe in a continuous fashion while doing the above (there's a lot to this, but any kind of conscious breathing is better than none)
--there is more to it - I teach it over a weeklong retreat, but I hope the above may be helpful.
What DOESN'T work is to mix up thoughts and feelings. Like when someone says: I feel as though I have a serious illness. NO! That is a thought, entangled with some of your core fear or anger, having a solid fearful baby together. Abort! Together they have ever-mo-entangled babies called ego and subconscious mind that goes on forever and which you can NEVER get out of. So you can think you are "feeling your feelings" when really you are strengthening a thought/ sensation chemical pathway in your body-brain
Here is a take-home part of it: CHANGE THOUGHTS RADICALLY AND ALWAYS (IN THE MIND USING CONSCIOUS CHOICE)
FEEL (AS THEY ARE - DON'T CHANGE) THE FEELINGS IN THE BODY
Don't pander to your thoughts like they are poor lil inner children - they are not, they are just thoughts. Don't override the sensations in the body - they need to be entered and felt in order to complete themselves. But you have starved them of mental meaning by changing the thought. So they can easily resolve energetically.
Does this make sense?
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 03/01/2012 : 09:42:00
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Well... back when I was in LA It was always therapeutic to go to my Fathers grave (He died when I was 5)
Books: East of Eden, The Green Mile,Winter of our discontent (actually precipitated my divorce) The dead zone... I could actually turn this into a long list, but it's any sort of book where there is Loss and pain.
Movies: Saving Private Ryan, Requiem for a dream, Leaving Las Vegas... same sort of thing.
I guess it's a personal thing. You have to inspect your life and see what resonates with you... all of us have some sort of sorrow. It's what fuels our spiritual growth.(Or kills us)
I did just get divorced, and I'll tell you... not having to put on a show for someone else is quite liberating. In fact I am almost hedonistically criminal again...
That whole 'guys shouldn't cry' thing is a crock and a half. I'm 5'9,155-160 in athlete shape, tattoos and body piercings everywhere,Long hair with the Led Zeppelin T-shirt and the bandana...... Most people tell me after they know me 'man, you look like a bad ass'.... which is really funny, because I'm NOT! I'm the biggest people-pleasing-brown-nosing-kiss-ass-mommy-please-love-me wreck you could imagine.
But I KNOW it, so I've got the edge over TMS
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wrldtrv
666 Posts |
Posted - 03/01/2012 : 20:12:31
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"But I try not to hold a grudge."
Cnotes, that was your quote referring to chiros who wasted your time and money and maybe made you feel worse. Maybe a little too forgiving? Remember Sarno's "goodist" and "perfectionist" referring to the typical TMS personality.
I think another thing that helps is sharing with others. This forum is great, but really, nothing beats having living, breathing humans to confide in. I know this to be true for myself. On those rare occasions when I can share my true feelings in person with the right person or persons, I can immediately go from the pits to paradise in a few minutes. Both physically and mentally.
Darko, thanks for the clarification about those supplements being only for depression. Actually, anxiety and rumination are much bigger issues for me. |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 03/01/2012 : 21:44:23
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Wrldtrv, check this out....I didn't give you the complete story. This is taken from the site
http://5htpbenefits.info/
"1. 5-htp can help you feel less anxiety and depression. If one of your goals is experiencing a happier state of mind, taking a 5-htp supplement may bring you a step closer. Numerous clinical trials have shown that 5-htp can be an effective treatment for anxiety and depression symptoms, and in some instances has compared favorably to prescription antidepressants.
5-htp’s effectiveness in alleviating anxiety and depression is all about the neurotransmitter serotonin, which is considered largely responsible for mood regulation and the perception of discomfort and pain. Because 5-htp is its chemical precursor, taking a 5-htp supplement amounts to giving your brain more of the material it needs to increase the serotonin levels in your brain. For many, that means better moods and less anxiety. However, it’s important to note that just taking 5-htp isn’t a magic fix; you need to take some responsibility for your mental state, and take steps to direct your thoughts and feelings in ways which will benefit you.
Most people using 5-htp to lessen anxiety and depression take between 50 and 300 mg daily. Some people obtain better results while taking a lower dose, so it’s a good idea to start with 50 mg and add more over time if necessary. For maximum absorption, 5-htp should be taken with or shortly before a meal, with a full glass of water. Don’t take more than 200 mg of 5-htp at a time unless your doctor specifically directs you to do so." |
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What to do at the end of your rope
