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Tippy
31 Posts |
 Posted - 12/07/2011 : 11:57:03
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Hello gang I am a new member. Here is a brief synopsis. In 1999 I was laid off of my job! I was fine and was even given 3 months severance pay. I slipped and fell coming out of the shower on my tailbone and I was still fine here is when it gets good. A week later my left leg went numb, another week I woke up and was walking on pins and needles, another week later I couldnt walk without holding on to walls and tables and when I took two steps my body would rotate like the robot on Lost In Space (Danger Will Robinson) and THEN it felt like someone would kick me in the back no joke! OK I had 13k in the bank (which is all gone due to medical bills I had insurance when I was employed and only had to use it once) I was diagnosed with an herniated disk L-5 S1, when they told me to go to physical therapy I did the stupid exercises and they didnt help me to walk again. Since I had money in the bank I hired a nurse to wash me at the toilet from the sink, cook for me three days a week and I was so depressed in the apartment from constant foot spasms (try having a bowel movement and you spasm need I say more) my legs feeling like the 4th of July was going off in them the only way I can describe it is like pinwheels were in my leg. I went to three neurologist and had MRI's done two of them said no surgery go to physical therapy, the third one said this is stress. I argued with him saying "It cant be I have a herniated disk" and he tells me "Your nerve tests are normal and I have had people come in here in wheelchairs not being able to walk because of stress". Well I had been told I had everything from myofascial pain to disc herniation, to fibromyalgia! I guess I was a little Sarno in my mind because I was either going to walk or kill myself. People who have been through this understand what I mean. I just got up one day and walked! Now we are into 2011. I can function here is my problem gang please let me know if you have an answer. I still get foot spasms but not like I used to, when I sit down it seems like my muscles get tight when I wake up and my knees feel like they are going to collapse. I cant take a shower without leaving my socks on because my toe jumps and my feet are sensitive. Now I know this is TMS because the pain moves around and out to my shoulder when I read Sarnos book and its a good sign I read if it is moving. I dont have drop foot (I dont think) but I sleep with my socks on some days my legs are weak but I can function now. Is it normal with TMS to have foot drop or flat arches and is there anyone in the forum who cant get in the tub because of spasms. Some days I take Ibuprofen which helps but I just bought Sarnos book a month ago, and it took away the pain but not the weakness and the morning spasms. Again I have accepted the TMS diagnosis because none of the doctors could figure out why this stuff is happening and Im NOT going back because what happened in 1999 has gotten better. Now if I can just do the Divided Body/Divided Mind thing (although I hate journaling) but this has to go away. All of the past things like headaches, ringing in the ears, and gritting my teeth went away years ago. A herniated disk does NOT cause all of this thats how I know this is TMS. Please help if anyone can with the spasm and weakness part
Thank God for this forum,
Stephanie
Stephanie |
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Tippy
31 Posts |
Posted - 12/07/2011 : 13:56:15
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Another thing I went through that many of you have, I have noticed that when I was told I had degenerative disc disease or a bulging disc it made me feel like I could actually feel it in my back! I didnt know what sciatica was, or an L-5 S1 and when they gave me this diagnosis all I could picture was some disc trying to come out of my back especially when I saw the MRI and it paints a picture in your brain. It took me three years but I finally got that part out.
Stephanie |
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dizwip
USA
2 Posts |
Posted - 12/07/2011 : 20:49:01
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Hi Stephanie,
Although this is my first post (I believe), I have ran the gamut with TMS and its symptoms.
Regarding foot pain, I used to get terrible foot pain that would cause a profound limp. My heels were often so ginger the slightest weight on it would make me jump. Somehow though, I forced myself on a treadmill and eventually the pain stopped but only when I started running. Of course it persisted thereafter. At another point, I couldn't walk for three days and the only way I could describe my foot pain was it felt like my foot had been stretched and the ligaments were ripped. Throw in a burning feeling for good measure.
I've also had sciatica- complete numbness down the leg alternating with feeling that my leg fell asleep which would eventually yield to a generic excruciating pain. It also made my leg dead; I essentially had to drag it when I walked. My feet also used to freeze up; cramping, toes curling and I would have pull them back to straighten them out. Not quite your thing but close and as far as spasms go, my back was a specialty.
It sounds as if you've made a world of progress. For me, the lingering symptoms were the result of a "it's hard to believe it's just TMS" phenomena.
To have something so painful for so long takes some letting go of and personally, it took awhile to believe my back was not going to randomly break in two after having spasms so severe that they herniated discs, squeezing on the spine resulting in bone pain, a scoliosis (my belly button ended up being off center by a good 2"), flat spine as the x-rays showed and more. It was 20 years of that.
When it finally started to recess, I was happy but suspicious that there was really nothing wrong with it. Roughly four years later, my back is still fine and I even deadlifted in excess of 400 pounds and put the same amount on my back, squatting and I'm no weightlifter though I'm fairly strong now. Worst of all, I was rounding my back which I've learned is a death wish to weightlifters and yet nothing happened. I was told by professionals that being tall, 6'4" made me more susceptible to injury and I've done everything the wrong way and no injury. There were some relapses here and there but none from activity. I am now thoroughly convinced there's nothing wrong with my back. Sounds like there is likely nothing wrong with your feet either but that's not for me to say and definitely for you to hopefully know. If I were a betting man though, your progress suggests you really get it and I have high hopes. ;)
Occasionally, I'll distance myself from all this for a moment and what comes into view is just how insane I can be for considering my symptoms to be anything but TMS- I have 20 years of back problems, from bad to worse, I read a book and my back gets better. WTF? In the three weeks prior to discovering Sarno, I could not stand for 18 of the 21 days. As I was reading for the first time, I realized that my rhomboid and neck spasms had all but disappeared since my lower back began acting up in the previous few years. It's ludicrous, to use a favorite word of Mike Tyson. Still, with any of my lingering symptoms, I am still tempted to believe it's somehow different. My ability to defy logic and willingness to side with insanity, never ceases to confound me. I'm not saying you're doing this by the way. Point is, I have pain for two decades, read a book and it goes away. I have a good 30 symptoms in the years leading up to my happening upon Sarno and they're all gone save for a lingering thing or two. I continually ask myself what could be "really wrong" and force logic's hand cause I won't see it in the throes of my pain and misery. In the rest of my life, I'm unflinchingly honest and logical but when it comes to TMS my bizarre theories abound on what this or that could really mean.
When I look at what you wrote and consider the improvement, the shifting of symptoms and the rest, it would make perfect sense that you'd still be concerned as the pain sucks outright and the inconvenience and the rest can run your life. But I would ask you to challenge the thinking that it's anything but TMS and see if you can get anywhere. This is something that helped me get some distance from my symptoms, the pain and myself when it all begin to blur into a never ending obsessive saga. From the vantage ground of rational inquiry, the myriad diagnoses, shifting symptoms,physical therapy with no improvement and then the improvement without doing anything begins to appear bizarre were it not for the existence of TMS.
Hopefully you follow my point and that it serves you in becoming pain free.
Cheers,
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Edited by - dizwip on 12/07/2011 21:08:25 |
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Help with Feet and Legs
