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jeffrey
Canada
13 Posts |
 Posted - 01/04/2005 : 23:56:09
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Hi all, my name is Jeff. I was recommended Dr.Sarno's book by a friend this morning and I promptly went and picked it up. I just finished reading it this evening. I couldn't put it down. This is so hard to believe the emotions I am dealing with right now. It is like such a solid light but I never realized how many emotional issues I may really have. This is crazy.
I have been given a really douzy of a problem that I think now is related to TMS. I have extreme acute pain in lower back both sides, midback, upperback, shoulder, down to the hand, waking up with hands asleep, numb feet, front thigh sciatica in left and right pain in the thighs. I have a strong pulling sensation across my back that just feels really weird. I have also been in the doctors office for bad undiagnosed stomach problems and I have strong hay fever. All kinds of good stuff and been off work now for a few weeks. Just couldn't deal with everything.
I have been to chiro, art, acupuncture, physio, traction, and I have an MRI scheduled for Sunday. Nothing is responding and it keeps changing everywhere on my back!!! I couldn't understand why my therapist was so perplexed when I told her what was happening!
I am so glad I have found this site. I will be regular for sure. Even before I read this book, I had always talked with my wife about stress and tension being a factor. It just felt that way. I can't describe it. Weird for sure.
The only problem I wanted to ask you guys about is dealing with a spouse. Our marriage has been very rocky for the last while and she has had a terrible time dealing with me in pain and not picturing our life together. She is quite negative sometimes and constantly reminding me of the problems with my back. It is definately one of these emotions that I have been struggling with for some time. I know I have repressed emotions with our relationship but I am afraid of what will happen.
Any help would be great.
Thank you for all your story. I have so much hope. Thanks!!!!
Jeff |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 01:22:13
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Hey Jeff,
Welcome to this forum. Sorry to hear that you have been having such a rough time and I hope that you can get some relief through this forum like many others have.
You say that you are scheduled for an MRI soon. Is there any way you could postpone that? The reason I suggest that you do this is because you are new to the idea of tms only just having finished reading Sarno. You need time to absorb what you have just read, time to start believing in it and most importantly time to start doing the emotional/psychological work. I'm afraid that if you have an MRI and they diagnose you with something (which I'm 100% sure they will) then you will fall into the trap that thousands of others have and start to believe that the cause of your pain is physical. You may be conditioned so that it will then be harder for you to accept Sarno's theories.
I suggest that you read some of the posts in this forum related to your problems, go to some of the links, watch Sarno's video, get some direction and see how you feel. There are many people here who can really help. Just ask. By the way which book have you read and what impact did it have on you? I wish you all the best.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
Edited by - mala on 01/05/2005 01:26:27 |
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jeffrey
Canada
13 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 05:35:38
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Hi Mala,
Thanks for the reply. I read "Healing Back Pain". It was an extremely powerful book, so much that I read it in one day. Besides the exact replica of the symptoms to which I have, the book also made me understand why I have been having little or no success in determining what the problem is. The book made complete sense to me. I have always, even as a child, kept emotions to myself. I have difficulty dealing with situations. I never want to hurt anybody. I can never say no to people. I very rarely express anger. Is this anger building up, not being able to be released? I have noticed my temper has increased in the last few years. I am only 31, and everything in my life I thought I was normal. This just kind of just whacked me on the side of the head.
I really understand what Sarno is saying and the reason I feel compelled to try and understand and learn more about my emotions is because I think my body is telling me to do so. I have always felt that stress and tension had a part of it. Something had always told me that. I remember talking to doctors and therapists about it and they never considered it at all.
There is so much to read and learn now. The MRI is scheduled for Sunday. Even though you have no faith in the MRI and completely believe that these problems are related to TMS, does it make sense to go just for the sake of not creating tension at home. My wife would never handle me saying, that I am not going to the the MRI. It would kill her. Is it possible to deal with this this way?
Thanks everybody. Been reading everyone's stories and it is amazing
how similiar our problems are.
Hangin' in there.
Jeff |
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holly
USA
243 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 06:11:17
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Jeff, from an outsiders point of view you seem to realize that your marriage is not in such great shape. Your problems are probably turning your wife off. After all nobody likes to hear someone complaining all the time about this hurting and that hurting. It would be best to vent here for awhile and not to your wife right now. I would ask her to read HBP to understand what is happening and tell her you are now taking a different approach to your problems. Then leave her out of it for awhile until you have something good to tell her. This is all new to you. You can now relax and realize there is now hope at the end of the tunnel! welcome to the board. You now have a place where you can turn.  |
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Susie
USA
319 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 07:31:27
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| Jeffery, I had the same reaction to HBP as you did the first time I read it. I think that is a real good sign for you. If his theory makes sense to you, you will begin to use it to heal. I must second Mala's advice about staying away from the MRI. I had a good friend that made the same suggestion to me and I think it made my recovery much easier by not having to disregard some anatomical bs some doctor had told me. Those on the forum that have been through so much of this advise say that trying to ignore the x-ray diagnosis has been the hardest part of getting better. This is not an easy process and IMO there is no sense it making it more difficult. Also, you might next read MBP by Sarno. It is more of the same but a little more current and a little more psychological. By the way, I had pain and all the equivalent symptoms you have plus a few more. When your pain leaves, so will your stomach and sinus problems. It's really quite amazing. |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 09:54:11
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Hi Jeff
When I was oh....17 months into my pain deal,my wife was almost out the door.Not only was she sick of my whining continually,but the reasons why I had TMS(unresolved anger) were inside of her as well,just hadn't become symptoms YET.
You would be better off venting here...we all understand.In fact,after I read the book,one of the toughest things was getting everybody else to STOP talking about my back,,,,I had complained so long,I had programmed everybody else to obsess along with me.
My mother and I recently had a great conversation about her high blood pressure.She had an episode right after I had moved her only 2 grandchildren 2000 miles away from her.I reviewed the underlying repressed emotions with her,and she admitted that she was in conflict....she wants me and the family to be happy,but WHY did we have to move sooo far away.
Anyway...she told me that back when I announced I was doing Sarno and done with the Medical world,she really feared for my health.She was scared it was BS,and that I was off on some holistic Lark and would only damage myself further.
Needless to say,5 years later,I'm still painfree and doing whatever I want whenever I want.
Welcome...and come hERE when you want to vent!!
Baseball65 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 10:11:50
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Hi Jeff,
Welcome to the board. It sounds like Sarno's TMS theory has resonated for you as it did the first time I stumbled on his book. I read half of it standing threre. It rang true from the start. I bet you're getting great relief already.
I second Mala's caution about the MRI. It's a catch-22. Every self-help medical book, including Sarno's has the boilerplate dislaimer about getting checked out by the medics to make sure you don't have something "serious" like the infamous tumor, the attorneys for the publisher makes them put it in. If you read my recent post, about my first x-ray, years ago by a chiro, it may give you some insight into the "science" of imageing. The most damaging thing that has slowed my recovery were the x-rays and MRI's that were "conclusive" proof of my hip "arthritis".
If you go ahead and have the MRI, just be prepared that they will find something "wrong". TO prepare yourself for this, read what Sarno has to say about anomalies and "gray hair of the spine". No one has a perfect skelton. More than likely an annonymous radiologist (perhaps in India) will write a report with an evaluation of the MRI findings. There will be a long list of medical mumbo-jumbo, with all the skeletal anomalies. According to Sarno, these will be normal anomalies and gray hair of the spine,(normal bone changes due to ageing that start occuring as soon as 20 years of age). More than likely your doctor will review the MRI with you and read the radiological report and regurgitate it's findings. In this age of exhorbitant mal-practice awards, it's the safe thing to do. I'ts also what he was trained to do.
If the doc starts talking surgery, try not to get too freaked out. You can kind of guide the outcome by indicating you don't want to do anything invasive until you have exhausted the conservative therapies. The docs will usually go along with your wishes if you demonstate some will, otherwise you're putty in their hands. My family doc, referred me to a surgeon, and when I expressed a strong will not to be cut, he said go ahead and keep playing tennis and when I couldn't bend over to tie my shoes and the pain was too bad to sleep at night, come back and we could do hip-replacement. I'm sure if I would have sounded desparate he would have been looking at his calendar for an open surgery date and measuing me for new hip parts. I'm not saying he was a quack. I liked him in fact and if I needed surgery someday, if I got run over by a bus, I would ask for him. Surgeons are going to do what they were trained to do, cut - don't ask a barber if you need a haircut! By the way I have no pain while I sleep and can still tie my own shoes. I have only improved over the years even though I can play tennis for 4-6 hours a day.
I went to "arthritis week" at a world famous "health farm" in Arizona. They had three world renowned arthritis docs who had all written books and I got to show them all my x-rays. They all gave identical opinions. It became amusing to me, how in lock step they were with their views of the condition of my arthritic hip. All they seemed to talk about amongst themselves were "their" past and upcoming surgeries, (after all they get it wholesale).
So I hope this helps to prepare you for what you are likely to hear when you sit down with the doc to review the MRI report.
Good luck,
tt
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Albert
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 10:13:21
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Jeffrey:
I'm new at this TMS thing, so take what I say with a grain of salt.
Perhaps you should have an MRI, because as Dr. Sarno writes, you want to make certain that you don't have something physically wrong. The way your pain moves around, you probably don't. It's hard to believe that you actually have a physical abnormality in every place you feel pain. If possible, you could bring the MRI to a doctor eho understands about TMS. Such a doctor won't be likely to make up a physical diagnosis. And if you see a non-TMS doctor, and he says it's due to a worn disc, ask him why you feel pain in so many places. And if he answers because it radiates, ask him to show you all the bodily parts the supposed pinched nerve connects to. My guess is that it doesn't connect to all of the places you feel pain. Plus, you probably don't feel pain in those places all of the time.
And here's another possibility. Perhaps he won't find any disc damage. I got an MRI before I heard of Dr. Sarno, and with the hope of finding out that I don't have any disc damage (with the thought that the problem might be muscular). It turns out that I don't have any disc damage.
Regarding your wife, have her read the section titled "conclusions" in Sarno's book "The Mindbody Prescription: Healing the Body, Healing the Pain." It sums things up in way that enable a non TMS patient to understand what a TMS patient is doing. And it makes sense that your wife would get tired of your physical problems. If you're like me, you're obsessed about your physical problems, and who wants to deal with somebody else's obsession all of the time? Just about anybody would get tired of it. Just show her that section, work at beating TMS, and as you get better, she'll notice. |
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jeffrey
Canada
13 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 10:33:01
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Thanks everybody.
I can't tell you how happy I am, your encouragement and response has helped tremendously. I still feel that I have lots of things to deal with, but I am starting to feel that I can deal with them. This is such a powerful change. I can't believe it. I still have some pain but my body is defanately making changes. One of things (being from Canada) that I was worried was that I wouldn't be able to play hockey for a long time. I might go for a little leisure skate this afternoon and I am looking forward to it.
Keep ya posted. |
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Carol
91 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 11:05:35
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Hi Jeffrey. I just want to quickly weigh in on the side of the folks who suggest that you at least postpone the MRI unless or until you are very secure in the TMS diagnosis. I am convinced that my doctor's diagnosis of damaged nerve, confirmed by EMG, is preventing me from defeating my back pain. I have defeated all kinds of TMS equivalents because I never believed or was never told that I had a physical reason for any of them. This one is harder, because I can't seem to get beyond the test results.
If you try Sarno's method and feel better, you will have evidence of the correctness of the diagnosis. Then if you really feel compelled to have the doctors identify every little anomaly of your spine go ahead with the MRI. You will already know the truth!
Carol |
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diverlarry
USA
44 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2005 : 11:08:54
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Hi Jeff
I had a MRI done before i read Dr Sarno's books and new about TMS. The medical report from the hospital described what was wrong. Hernaited disk, torn disk, bulging disk, disks smaller, etc. When my Doctor seen it, she said the ruptured may have caused the initial pain. But she also said it may have been that way for years. She said there was nothing seriously wrong with me and what the MRI showed was not unusual.
I was very surprised becasue i thought she would tell me what was wrong and i would then get it fixed and everything would be fine.
I asked her why i was in pain all the time. She said she did not know. She recommended i read the book "Back Sense".
She then said to start exercising again and to also go and have some fun. The book Back Sense got me going on the right path. But Dr Sarno's books are what really did the job.
That was my experience with a MRI. Im glad i did not see a doctor who would have recommended surgery, because it would have been wrong.
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2005 : 00:01:50
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After reading all the posts under this topic what do YOU really want to do about the MRI? Do YOU still want to go ahead or are you using your wife as an excuse to go. If you do want it then just go for it but if you don't, then you will just have to explain to her the best you can why you want to postpone.
In my opinion the last thing you need right now is some scary diagnosis which will just compound your existing problem. Be sure your results WILL reveal at least one ofthese
disk herniation
disk protrusion
degeneration
arthritis
stenosis
scoliosis
slipped disk
kyphosis
lordosis
etc.etc.
Why? Because nearly all of us have something or the other in our spine after our twenties. Some of us may even have had them since birth without even realising it. Do these actually cause pain. No, they don't. I have yet to meet anyone who went in for an MRI and was not told there is something the matter.
So, you choose.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
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jeffrey
Canada
13 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2005 : 07:15:59
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Hello Everybody.
Just wanted to keep you posted. I went skating yesterday. My lower back is hurting, but I don't believe it is from the physical activity. I think my back is trained to think that physical activity means pain, so I am not being fooled by it. The pain in my upper back and legs have subsided considerably. I had a great night sleep last night and I even watched some TV from the "soft" couch!!!
I have decided to go ahead with the MRI. There is no doubt that I am doing it for everybody else except for me. I see no value in it. I strongly believe that I am suffering from TMS. However, I am only going for "curioiusity" sake, just to see what my back actually looks like. I also must take into consideration that I am short-term disability and that I have to be careful in this matter. But I will not let the results skew me. I really believe this.
I dropped the bomb on my wife last night. I really think she thinks I am nutz. She called me everything from possessed to psycho. I had an answer for everything she asked. She is in the medical field which makes it even more difficult. I am trying to get her to read the book because I feel she is also suffering some effects of this. She threatened the marriage if I don't do the therapy and the MRI and whatnot. It is so hard.
Mentally, I feel so much better. I can completely see what you guys are saying about living a new way. I spent so much time avoiding issues. I realize now that I have to take on every task and thought and my back usually responds positive if I think this way. I also did some screaming in the car which felt really good!!!
I know this pain is going to go away.
Thanks everybody
Jeff |
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diverlarry
USA
44 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2005 : 10:28:29
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Jeff
I was at a xmas party this year and was talking to a group of people i knew. They knew i had had back problems for a long time. One person asked me how i was. I told them i was doing great. They then asked me what was wrong and had caused the problem. I told them it was just tension and stress. Everyone got silent, looked at me like i was crazy then changed the subject.
It must be very difficult when your wife dosen't believe there is TMS. She might not even believe you when you get better that that was the cause. Some people will never be convinced. Sounds like your making progress. Programming takes a long time to change. At least for me it does. You make progress and maybe have a little flareup or setback, but keep going. Then one day you start to realize something is different. What is different is your pain is gone and you don't think about it anymore.
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jeffrey
Canada
13 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2005 : 12:00:15
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Thanks again.
Things are progressing for myself personally but they are deteriating on the home front. We just finished a big arguement. She thinks that I am crazy and possessed and that I am not including her in my experience. But I feel no matter what happens I have to deal this TMS this way. I have given her all the answers but she says there is no facts no science. She ripped up the book already so I may have to buy another one. I don't know what to do. My marriage is falling apart but I still think that TMS is the problem. She just won't accept it.
And the thing that kills me is that I love her very dear.
Jeff |
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Susie
USA
319 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2005 : 12:25:01
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| Jeffry- I am certainly no psychologist, but your wife's anger and rage certainly stems from more than your tms thinking. Ripping up a book that you are interested in shows tremendous anger. I think you have 2 major issues to contend with. One is your relationship and the other tms. Perhaps you would be wise to work on the tms by yourself and not include her in your thought process. I don't think it sounds as if she can give you an objective opinion. It certainly sounds as if you are having a very stressful and tramatic time. |
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holly
USA
243 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2005 : 15:10:36
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She ripped up your book  That's like ripping up your bible! I don't know Jeffrey about this wife of your's. I know I shouldn't be saying that but I can't help myself. You say you love her dearly so I won't say much more.  |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2005 : 15:47:41
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Jeff,
From here, I think your TMS and your relationship to your wife are the same thing. My TMS began with a very traumatic, long lasting relationship break-up. Do to my TMS history, I may not be objective, but I think relationships are the biggest cause of TMS. I think TMS is the most communicable social disease there is.
It sounds like you are making great progress, skating and improved sleep. I accept Dr. Sarno's 25 years of clinical study as the science that backs up his TMS theory. I think you mentioned that your wife works in the medical field. They are the last people on the planet that will accept TMS theory. I hear that Sarno is a lonely man at NYU Hospital, somewhat of an outcaste amnogst his fellow doctors.
I am surprised that your wife is not rejoicing with you about your progress. Maybe she feels threatened because you are getting better and that it is not through "conventional" medical means. Have you thought of or tried marriage counseling? Good Luck, you've got my sympathies, crazy relationships are the worst. |
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jeffrey
Canada
13 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2005 : 17:05:43
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The crazy thing is that she is in the medical field, but at the same time she can't stand our public health system and its abnormalities, as well she strongly believes in non-traditional therapy because she practices yoga and other natural health medicines. Things are still being revealed to me as we move through these days. I bought Sarno's The Mind Body Prescriptions this afternoon (she wasn't too happy about). I am also seriously considering what you guys are saying about the MRI.
However, I am really sorry to report, that I really think my marriage is coming apart as we speak. It is truly unfortunate, she is not going to understand what I am experiencing. I think deep down I have had strong tension built up over our relationship. I am completely normal on the outide (strong social skills, successful in work, good family) but I have always felt stress with us. She dominates most of me but i always just took it and never stood up for my emotions. This sounds like a pure recipe for TMS. Crazy. Just Crazy. I am still commmitted though because I know you guys understand the physical and mental pain that I have gone through and I don't want it to continue.
The saddest part is that my wife and i only got married 1.5 years ago and i think she will never have gotten to see the true me.  |
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jeffrey
Canada
13 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2005 : 17:10:18
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| and by the way...it felt great to say that. |
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jeffrey
Canada
13 Posts |
Posted - 01/07/2005 : 06:02:56
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another update:
had a tough night sleep last night, so many thoughts.
however, my pain back is disappearing. so much relief! just incredible.
thank you all!!!! and thank you Dr.Sarno...
my journey continues....
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another victim
