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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
 Posted - 10/04/2008 : 12:13:20
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Don't read this and move on.
I have a hunch about my orgins of tms and I want to get some feedback on your experiences to help me. A simple sentence will do. If you have the time to peek here, you can surely write a sentence or two of the first thing that comes to mind.
The twist here is I'm not asking what worked for you to get rid of your tms, I'm looking for some common denomenators. This is to help me with what I hope is an "aha" moment. Or what I feel may be one. If your'e sick of me saturating this board lately then you should feel even more compelled to jot down a sentence or two to help me get the eventual f*@# out of here!
What preceded your tms or relapse of it? In other words, you can mention the physical trigger, but in your life were things spiriling out of control? Was there a build up of unhappiness as you look back in hindsight?
If you had a different personality trait that would have put you thru this time in your life with out the stress what would that personality trait have been?
Also, would that personality trait that you feel would've been beneficial at that time something that you envy in others or think is careless and sinful if you took it on yourself?
Or, was everything in life going very well, and then out of the blue the tms trigger was pulled?
I will post later what I think I'm finding out about myself later, but I don't want to bias your experience.
There's at least a hundred or so lookers here regularly, so whether or not your'e in pain, a newbie, a vet, whatever, jot down here a simple sentence or two or a paragraph about what transpired. Theres no reason not to have a few dozen examples.
you too Monte  |
Edited by - skizzik on 10/04/2008 12:19:03 |
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winnieboo
USA
269 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2008 : 13:23:54
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Causes of first TMS attack: Job setbacks and failures, my beloved boss left, my teenager ran wild with a questionable crowd (and there was seemingly nothing I could do to stop it), my best friend betrayed me, my (problematic) extended family flew in from 2500 miles away for a family event...This happened within a six-week span.
I improved only to have a relapse that was far worse than the first attack. Cause: I uncovered repressed memories in therapy. The therapist handled it poorly. Then I, along with my therapy situation, fell apart.
Desired personality trait: The ability to "let go." Wish I could lighten up. My husband is an expert as this. When upsetting reality threatens, he instantly reframes how he's perceiving things. Then he's okay with, or at least able to quickly move on from, whatever it is. I hold on to setbacks, slights, guilt, anger, and I hold grudges. If reality threatens to upset me, I try to edit and control it. Can't be done! This is what I am working on. It's like trying to change into an entirely new person. |
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winnieboo
USA
269 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2008 : 13:46:35
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Sorry--more to add.
Monte H on the other thread has the idea. Getting out of pain means rehabituating yourself. We have to find a new approach to stress and emotions. There's a million different ways of saying it, I suppose; Monte H attributes the TMS problem to "chronic thoughts." No one can change their personality, but we can change bad habits and kick addictions.
Listen to the voice inside your head and listen to how you perceive and construct story lines for the happenings in your life. Are they negative? Mine were and still often are. THIS is what has to change. Is my life so terrible and sad? I often think so, but NO ONE ELSE DOES!! I have a great life!! My ONLY problem is what's going on internally, you see?
So all this journaling and therapy and book reading is about changing how I speak to myself inside my own brain, changing how I react to reality, since I CAN'T CONTROL IT, and changing how I perceive my life. Geez, I often don't even see or experience what is going on because I am distracting myself with pain or other ruminations about health or what ifs...I'm getting better, but it's work.
My best pain days are those where I'm engaged either at work or some activity that I like and I AM NOT TALKING TO MYSELF--scanning my body for aches, wondering if what I just said was okay, wondering if what I did in the past was okay, feeling angry because something just happened, etc. When there's no inner noise, I feel like my old self again. I did have 40+ years when I wasn't in pain. Then you can remind yourself that you CAN feel good and you CAN get back there.
I do best when I'm reading Pema Chodron--she's a Tibetan nun and her buddhist teachings center on these ideas. |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2008 : 15:13:56
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Basically I have had psychosomatic illnesses since a young teen, and while at the time I would have said, "nothing bad has happened in my life" clearly, I was a desperately unhappy teenager and unbeknownst to me had a long-standing neurological problem which was the ultimate source of many of my problems which went undiagnosed for many years. So... I had significant amounts of stress and pressure from a young age.
First debilitating bout of TMS came on me at a time of very high career stress.
Most recent bout (the "sinus headaches" for which I was on daily meds for several years) started on a day when I was scheduled to go to an important meeting and which I had to bail out of due to being so ill that day. It wasn't until I started reading Sarno that I put 2 and 2 together. DUH !!!!
So I would say yes, I was never emotionally healthy and that there was a buildup of unhappiness that I wasn't even aware of at the time.
About your personality traits question .. not sure I understand what you're asking. I think if I had cared less about everything in my life I wouldn't have been as stressed, perhaps, but the overall tremendous trauma in my life would have likely resulted in TMS anyway.
I would say in general that the overall balance of my "Rage Soothe ratio" was always heavily weighted on the rage side, with virtually no soothing. And I personally believe that no matter how much one follows whatever "prescription" for curing TMS (the journaling, the reading, the therapy, the thought swapping, the deconditioning, the self-talk, the challenging the symptoms, whatever, etc), if the rage/soothe ratio is still really out of whack, then success will be hard (impossible?) to come by. |
Edited by - RageSootheRatio on 10/04/2008 15:16:49 |
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meema
10 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2008 : 15:40:28
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What happened right before my worst TMS attack was that our 2 year old pug was killed by a car. I loved that dog dearly, and he was a total pain in the ass. We went through 4 trainers, put in a lot of time working with him, but he was smart, stubborn and anxious. He was stressful to walk, because you never knew when he would blow up at another dog. We couldn't watch tv at night without him jumping up and barking at the tv every few minutes. All day long he would run to the window and bark at people walking by. In spite of all our precautions, he was adept at bolting out of the house and racing down the street after cars. And he was incredibly sweet and attached to people, especially me. After he was gone, I felt immense grief, guilt, and relief.
I had had some shoulder pain for about a year, but what ramped it up to unbearable was that about 2 weeks after the dog was killed, I decided it was time to stop crying about it. Apparently I still had some crying left to do, because I woke up a few days later in the worst pain I've ever had.
I think the personality traits that get me in trouble are the need to take care and the need to feel in control. Especially the need to feel in control. But I'm not sure it's the personality traits per se, but the degree to which they kind of take over. After all, taking care of other people (and dogs), and maintaining some level of control over one's life are positive things, I think. But I want to have control over what I feel, too, and that doesn't work very well, not to mention all the things in life about which there's absolutely nothing I can do, all the ways I can't protect the ones I love.
Which is probably why I'm in the middle of a minor relapse. My son just started high school, and suddenly I'm very aware of how much of his life I can no longer take care of or control. I remember all the stupid and dangerous things I did in high school that my parents never knew about, and the anxiety just starts to spiral. Makes total sense to me that sometimes it's easier to feel pain in my shoulder and neck than that anxiety.
Acceptance. That's the key word I keep coming back to in my mind, the key to everything. I hope I get better at it. |
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scottjmurray
266 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2008 : 16:11:15
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usually the feeling that i've done something wrong, or something isn't right. or conditioning. it only happens when i think it will. these two are probably connected.
---
author of tms-recovery . com
(not sh!t, champagne)
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Peg
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2008 : 20:42:31
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Okay, let's see. There have been so many times. I guess initially, when I developed issues with food (TMS equivalent), I was experiencing a very difficult time with a relationship. Things weren't the way I wanted them to be and I was very frustrated. I think I was also hurting emotionally and didn't know what to do with the feelings. I didn't feel like I had any control, so controlling food gave me that back. It also consumed my thoughts and distracted me from my emotional pain. I was also in a job I wasn't loving.
Looking back, I wish I had been able to find some support from others at that time. As far as myself, I believe if I had been more mature and had better self esteem, I could have handled things differently. Because of my own issues, I interpreted the situation as a rejection.
Just before my back pain started, I had begun a new job and was feeling insecure. Of course I was still in the same relationship as well.
Again, I could have used an attitude adjustment, positive thinking, self esteem.
After finding Dr. Sarno's information, my recovery was very gradual. I have read other books and have worked on those negative traits mentioned above.
When I have an occasional symptom, it is invariably connected with negative self talk, angry feelings or stressful situations.
Obviously, I still have some work to do.
Bottom line.....I've never felt like I was good enough. No matter what I achieve...it's not enough. No matter how nice I am...it's not enough. Also, I can echo what others have said about not caring so much. Sometimes I wish I didn't care as much as I do. But that caring is what has made me try to be a good parent, wife, sister, daughter, friend and neighbor.
Happy medium anyone?
Good Luck Skizzik
Peg
Wow, not flattering at all, but you asked
In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual. Galileo Galilei |
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scottjmurray
266 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2008 : 02:31:24
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quote:
...it's not enough
this is what i'm struggling with right now. i seem to have this feeling etched inside my bodymind that things are somehow "wrong." it has little to do with external circumstances, but it seems to get triggered by things in my environment and things i think. it's a hard emotion to express and let go of for sure. not emotion, but feeling?
---
author of tms-recovery . com
(not sh!t, champagne)
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2008 : 04:40:55
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Hi skizzik,
There does not always have to be a particular situation, which is the trigger. It may be one thing that is the straw that breaks the camel’s back if you are going to look for something. However,it is more likely to be a build up of things and a tendency towards a certain type of personality.
I have to say that being too hung up on trying to find out the trigger, overanalysing the past and trying to change your personality is not going to change much. If anything this is exactly what your id/subconscious wants you to do to stay focussed on IT. It has you exactly where it wants you to be doing exactly what it wants you to do.
Even Sarno says that acknowledging that the pain is psychological, ignoring the physical findings and returning to normal activity are what is required. I think that most people who follow these 3 criteria are usually the ones who get better. He specifically says you do not have to change your personality or resolve anything to get better.
Virtually everyone out there has past baggage & present stressful situations, which can no doubt manifest into pain at any time. Who knows why & how the unconscious decides the defining moment. What is clear is that most of Sarno’s patients get better by realising the simple fact that there is nothing wrong with them.
I know it is simply ridiculous but it is as ridiculously simple as that.
I could tell you what I think may be the reason I have the pain or what might have caused it or triggered it but I don’t really know and I don’t think it is going to help and anyway it changes on a daily basis.
What I do suggest is that you stand firm in the belief that your body is strong, be fearless, acknowledge that your pain has a psychological component and start doing things that you have not done but want to do.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
Edited by - mala on 10/05/2008 07:56:51 |
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winnieboo
USA
269 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2008 : 08:36:23
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Great post, Mala. I think you're right. You honed in on the reason many are pain free in a matter of weeks: they keep it simple and get on with life.
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Edited by - winnieboo on 10/05/2008 10:55:01 |
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Pd245
58 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2008 : 15:16:45
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For me, it is a combination: childhood trauma (alcoholic parent - don't express your feelings), learned behavior (a parent who "somatised"), and mostly, personality traits (anxious, fearful, perfectionist who puts excessive amounts of pressure on herself). While I'm not pain-free I've seen improvements, and they' re coming from three different things:
1. Journaling - I never use it to just dump out my emotions, I always try to figure out why I feel that way, and then decide if I can take action or not. If not, grieve and accept it. For example, I've been fighting with myself since I was a kid about being a writer - its the only dream i had for myself - but while I'm good at it, I never seemed compelled to write when someone isn't forcing me to write. This guilt and battling with myself has lasted all these years, and finally I journalled about it and told myself the truth - I'm not a storyteller and I don't feel compelled to write on my own. Ouch, the truth hurt badly, and I cried a lot for a lost dream, but the amount of pressure that's been released by saying the painful truth is
amazing.
2. Facing fear of pain - I'm driven by fear, mostly, and fear of causing a headache, having a headache, somehow being killed by a headache has made my life incredibly small. So, I had to face the terror. To do this, I had to journal and write about what's the worst that can happen, what is it about the pain that terrifies me, etc. I decided to feel the full extent of my migraines without medication for a week (not saying anyone should do this - i had to, though). And I got through it. I chanted to myself over and over again, Everything is temporary, Everything changes, I said soothing thibgs to myself, watched movies, did lots of deep breathing, lots of self talk, and that helped tremendously. I can get through it. And so what is there to be afraid of? Fear actually creates pain for me and intensities my pain - Dr Schubiner talks about this in his blog. And then I just keep telling myself all day everyday that nothing is physically wrong with me, if I get a headache I can handle it. If I do this and it triggers a headache, I'll handle it.
3. Changing my personality. Yep. Just writing about the pressures in my life hasn't been enough. I've had to take pressure off of myself consistently, stop catastrophizing, and stop being obsessed with some ideal, better future which has caused me to be constantly irritable and unhappy with everything in my life for years and years. I'm starting to feel more relaxed the more I accept the present and what there is to be grateful for. When I say I am working on "stopping" these behaviors, I mean I practice being aware when I'm doing them and then challenge my thinking. And I do it over and over and over again, starting in the morning and ending at night.
So, those are some of the triggers, and some things that are helping me. I agree that you don't have to know the triggers to get better, you mostly have to the work which means trying the basics and modifying them if you have to. I'm not there yet, so I completely understand your frustration and desire to get to the bottom of this. I also tend to be very literal minded and compusively think there's one right answer to everything, and to my great disappointment i'm finding that's not true. For example,I do believe that some people must change some of the more destructive and stress-inducing parts of their personalities in order to get better, but that doesn't mean doing a complete overhaul of yourself. For me it's meant becoming aware of what I have been doing to myself (scaring myself, demanding more from myself than is possible or fair, and putting pressure on myself constantly to alter who I am to please other people). Hope this helps. |
Edited by - Pd245 on 10/05/2008 16:02:03 |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2008 : 03:57:32
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| thanx for the replies everyone. Please keep them coming if possible. Again if your'e just passing thru, a sentence or two would'nt kill you right? |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2008 : 04:18:35
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quote:
Originally posted by mala
Hi skizzik,
There does not always have to be a particular situation, which is the trigger. It may be one thing that is the straw that breaks the camel’s back if you are going to look for something. However,it is more likely to be a build up of things and a tendency towards a certain type of personality.
I have to say that being too hung up on trying to find out the trigger, overanalysing the past and trying to change your personality is not going to change much. If anything this is exactly what your id/subconscious wants you to do to stay focussed on IT. It has you exactly where it wants you to be doing exactly what it wants you to do.
Even Sarno says that acknowledging that the pain is psychological, ignoring the physical findings and returning to normal activity are what is required. I think that most people who follow these 3 criteria are usually the ones who get better. He specifically says you do not have to change your personality or resolve anything to get better.
Virtually everyone out there has past baggage & present stressful situations, which can no doubt manifest into pain at any time. Who knows why & how the unconscious decides the defining moment. What is clear is that most of Sarno’s patients get better by realising the simple fact that there is nothing wrong with them.
I know it is simply ridiculous but it is as ridiculously simple as that.
I could tell you what I think may be the reason I have the pain or what might have caused it or triggered it but I don’t really know and I don’t think it is going to help and anyway it changes on a daily basis.
What I do suggest is that you stand firm in the belief that your body is strong, be fearless, acknowledge that your pain has a psychological component and start doing things that you have not done but want to do.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala
Mala,
thanx for the reply. A month ago I think I would've still been in this camp.
If simple acknowledgement of the knowledge and returning to physical activity w/out fear was all that was needed I'd have been recovered 18 mos ago.
I was a book cure in '03. Simply read HBP, and in a few mos I did'nt think of myself w/ a back problem anymore. However, I did'nt join a gym for another year at that point. And then I felt truly recovered.
Since my trigger, and relapse, I've been fully active w/ the exception of weightlifting which I've attempted to return to several times.
Otherwise, if you were my neighbor, you'd never know I was "suffering skizzik." I'm out there playing w/ the kids, having them on my shoulders at the mall (one weighs 70#), I carry ladders at work, climb utility poles, dress and cart a 4yr old off to pre-school in the morning (hardest of all activities ...lol). Everyweek I cut the lawn and drag a large trampoline 20 ft or so by myself to make sure the lawn refreshes in the spot it was in. I make an effort to bend, stand, sit, slouch, as if I don't have the pain. If you were my co-worker you'd never know because I do everything and hide the pain because I was the guy who read sarno and his pain went away. I'd be a laughing stock to many pain sufferers there if I were to let them know. The fact that I can't smile often, or talk from the depression from the pain, they know that something is'nt right w/ me however. And the resultant weight loss from when I was a big weightlifter. They think I'm in a depression from the trouble I got in at work.
So as you can see, I think I may be more active than most people w/ out any pain. I have the knowledge, the patience, the fortitude. But unfortunately the pain. Why?
At one point last year the pain traveled all over, but still in the low spine, but none of the other ailments bothered me like the low spine. And they all went away, only to concentrate harder in that area. Like Logan says, FOLO, (first on, last off), and Dave says, the symptom that bothers you the most lasts the longest. Well, It's been almost 2 yrs. Am I just gonna wakey wakey one day and feel it leaving?
As you probably know too, for anyone on the writing bandwagon I've journaled thousands of pages over a year and a half w/ no resolve, tried therapy several times.
I cant help but think something has to change stress wise in my life, or at least my reactions to it.
I'm in so much pain from staying active (well, resting never helps) w/ work, kids, that I find myself in a dizzy fog often. Life is very hard to enjoy right now. Heck, for a long time. I never stop moving, at work, or home. Never. Except to type this.. |
Edited by - skizzik on 10/06/2008 04:20:19 |
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Hazl
5 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2008 : 12:11:17
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The do-gooder in me felt obligated to respond to this post, so here goes.
Personality traits that contribute to TMS: I'm a worrier, I put stress on myself to do things "right", and I put stress on myself to be good at things that support my self-image. To be honest, I'm also a bit self-centered and too dependent on others.
Personality traits I don't have that might have helped: the ability to let things go, not take small things seriously, and laugh at myself.
Does this help? |
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debbette
44 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2008 : 12:26:31
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<<Again if your'e just passing thru, a sentence or two would'nt kill you right?>>
Alright, alright..
This episode started right after we returned from vacation (where it has always been my dream to live). I've never been able to get my husband on board to move there (even though my Father lives there, who he loves). I think I finally realized how angry I am about that. It's been my dream to live there since I was a kid and I'm realizing that it will probably never happen. I have so many issues with my husband - the 70 hour work weeks (leaving me to be a single parent), his putting HIS family (brothers & sisters) first, me leaving my life and my dreams to be with him... ugh. That's all I have time for now. |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2008 : 13:03:37
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shriek! Debbette just gave me an idea on something I need to journal or vent about! My ex husband dragged me away from my family (jealousy I was very close with them) and we moved close to his job but far from mine. . . this one will be a few pages and I'm ready to roll. . .
Wonderful how a few words can spark something I've buried! Time for removal and healing. . .
Hi Skiz 
-L |
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pandamonium
United Kingdom
202 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2008 : 14:28:13
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Hi Skizzik,
the thing that preceeded my initial TMS was realising that despite my best efforts my 9 yr relationship was heading down the pan and I was going to be left 30something and childless. This was followed a few months later by being made redundant from my dream job that I had been in for 10 yrs and had worked my way through the glass ceiling. I was pretty upset about all of that and went through a whole range of emotions: I've always had a strong inner judge and a low self esteem so these 2 events floored me.
Not sure that any personality traits would have helped me through that stuff.
P |
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debbette
44 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2008 : 17:14:24
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Continuing my previous post....
Rage at my husband, feeling trapped without choices (this is always a hot button issue for me) as we have a small child and I can't just leave (can't do that to her).
I've had so many people close to me die (8) in the last 6 years and haven't really grieved (hard to do with a little kid wrapped around my leg 24/7!). My MIL (loved her!) died in Jan. and I didn't even cry! That's when my toes started tingling.
I'm also a perfectionist and put tremendous pressure on myself to do everything perfectly. I constantly stress over how much there is always to do since DH is always working and it's all on my shoulders to do everything.
Financial stress.. we have rental properties (that are of course my responsibility) that I hate and just want to sell but can't in this market. I hate the responsibility and never wanted them to begin with and am now stuck with them for the time being.
I'm very lonely a lot of the time (due to DH's work schedule) and miss my family and friends back home. I think if I didn't have my daughter I'd go back in a minute.
I'm VERY jealous of DH's neices who have all the help in the world with their kids from with their Mothers and MILs and sisters and so on. I have none. It just infuriates me.
My beloved dog is very old and having such a hard time getting around. I know her time will be up soon and I can't even begin to think about that.
So..... lots of yecky, yecky stuff. I really wish I could just run away from my life. Is it any wonder I can't seem to journal without getting depressed? |
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HellNY
130 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2008 : 19:13:10
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I would say a relapse happens when a transient pain or other component of your previous chronic pain levels appears. But at that moment one begins to take notice and fall back into the trap of fearing, wondering and analzying it. This feeds its, which in turn causes it to grow, which in turn leads to more obsessing, which causes it to grow more, etc etc.
Then, the analytical, obsessive and compulsive mind falls back into the trap of obsessing over the condition and how miserable one is and spends most all one's time thinking about it and posting about it. And seeking the same answers over and over again. All the while each moment spent obsessing and yearning and trying to "solve" is another shovel deeper into the hole. |
Edited by - HellNY on 10/06/2008 19:41:18 |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 10/09/2008 : 13:29:18
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quote:
Originally posted by HellNY
I would say a relapse happens when a transient pain or other component of your previous chronic pain levels appears. But at that moment one begins to take notice and fall back into the trap of fearing, wondering and analzying it. This feeds its, which in turn causes it to grow, which in turn leads to more obsessing, which causes it to grow more, etc etc.
Then, the analytical, obsessive and compulsive mind falls back into the trap of obsessing over the condition and how miserable one is and spends most all one's time thinking about it and posting about it. And seeking the same answers over and over again. All the while each moment spent obsessing and yearning and trying to "solve" is another shovel deeper into the hole.
is this your scientific way of saying "your'e doing it again skizzik" |
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martyinbklyn
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - 10/10/2008 : 07:58:12
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Responding to the original question:
quote:
What preceded your tms or relapse of it? In other words, you can mention the physical trigger, but in your life were things spiriling out of control? Was there a build up of unhappiness as you look back in hindsight?
If you had a different personality trait that would have put you thru this time in your life with out the stress what would that personality trait have been?
Also, would that personality trait that you feel would've been beneficial at that time something that you envy in others or think is careless and sinful if you took it on yourself?
Or, was everything in life going very well, and then out of the blue the tms trigger was pulled?
This is my first post to this forum. I found it the other day when I was right in the middle of what I feared was going to be a tms attack with a completely locked-up back. Just reading some of the other posts helped me through it, and I've almost talked myself through it now.
There was no physical trigger for this attack. I saw Dr. Sarno about a year and a half ago, and was, and still am, totally sure I have no physical problem with my back. Up until four days ago, I was confident that I could do anything without "hurting my back". This past summer my family and I literally moved a couple of tons of rock from our backyard into a dumpster, and we're talking about slabs of slate and concrete, with no resultant pains to speak of. (Actually, I'm still sure I can do anything without hurting my back, but that doesn't mean by back doesn't hurt.)
At the time when the pain started, I was (and still am) under a lot of pressure on a number of fronts (family, work, finances), which might have been enough to tip the scales. But somehow I think it goes deeper. I started journaling, which I hadn't done more than twice after seeing Sarno, and came up with a ridiculously long list of possible causes for this attack. But that didn't ease anything. I started talking to myself, and I think I connected to the infamous "inner child" that was scared it wasn't good enough, not worthy of love, not safe. I started speaking to that child, telling him he was safe, he was loved, he didn't have to be afraid. The pain didn't stop, but it did ease off, and I think I've found one of the root causes of my tms that I hadn't needed to delve into before. Even as I'm typing this, I can feel a response going on.
The really frustrating part about this is that the simple secure knowledge that this isn't a physical problem in and of itself isn't, or hasn't been, enough to put the tms in its place. And of course the frustration and resulting anger don't help.
If there's a personality trait in me that brings this all on, it's probably a level of perfectionism (well, I guess there's really only one level, when you think about that one ), and a need to be right (and have people know that I'm right), which now that I think about it goes back to self-worth.
And as far as a trait I wish I had that might help me through all this is one that I've started working on, which is peacefulness, which is so much harder than it sounds if you try practicing it all the time. It involves letting go of that need to be right, and a level of accepting life as it comes along instead of trying to control it, as if I could control any of it at all.
Sorry to have gone on so long.
Be well.
Marty |
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what preceded your tms or relapse?
