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hematite
USA
21 Posts |
 Posted - 09/01/2008 : 06:29:54
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Hi! Anybody out there struggling with this? I grew up in a family making a transition from farm life to white collar. We kids were expected to do a lot of chores and work is the primary theme in my family's life. I wonder how much of my tms is just not wanting to work because it represents forced labor and a pressure to be good. I have been criticized intensely in my family for not wanting to help them enough and this has left me distancing myself from them. I simply have too much stuff re: work and I think tms makes it impossible for me to work.
I suppose I associate all jobs with boredom and drain. I have never found a job I could tolerate. But I think that maybe my attitude problem towards work. I also think 40 hours/week is too much and I wonder if a lot of women are getting CFS/fibromyalgia from rage about working and being mothers?
My life is set up so I don't have to work. What will life be like if I worked more than a few hours a week. To me, it is all negative connotations.
When people say, "Now I'm back to work 5 days a week." I think, Horrible! Horrible!
Anybody else relate? |
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n/a
48 Posts |
Posted - 09/01/2008 : 09:50:05
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I sympathize with your situation. I think there are a few important points to distinguish here. First, there are probably types of work that you would not enjoy no matter what. Second, there are types of work that you would enjoy but for having a perfectionist attitude about it (I have that problem a lot). Third, you may not have found your true calling yet. I.e. imagine if you had the type of work that did not feel like work but rather like something you'd be willing to do for fun. In this context, I highly recommend reading Martha Beck's books, and especially Finding Your North Star and perhaps as a secondary matter Steering by Starlight.
You could also try to write down what the situations are when you dislike work. What are the elements present at that time? What kinds of people? And then try to write about those situations when you did enjoy work, even if it was just for a few minutes.
I think those of us with TMS issues really need to start thinking outside the box as far as careers as concerned. Many of us let societal (or familial) pressures guide our choices for far too long, until our body refused to cooperate.
One thing you can do that Martha Beck suggests is to fill out the blank in the following sentence (quickly, without spending time examining your answer):
"I was meant to be a ___"
This might give you some clues as to what might be going on with you and work and where you should look for answers. Good luck! |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2008 : 07:12:51
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My first twinges of back pain were coming home from a few vacations in a row. Funny how I used to blame it on a heavy suitcase. It is now so clear to me why I had pain.
I had to adjust my attitude toward working. I don't dislike my job, I just would rather be doing other things (traveling, etc.) than going to an office 40 hours per week. But it's a good job at a good company with enjoyable people. And for that I'm grateful. I realize that I need $ to live and be able to do the things I want, and need a job. But is this how I envisioned my life 25 years ago? No. And it took me time (and journaling) to come to terms with this.
I don't doubt that many women have fibro, etc. because they are trying to a 40+hr/week job plus family and a home.
RE: chosen profession, true. Many are talked out of what they truly want to do (I was--required journaling when I realized I was angry about it) or forced to be what their parents want them to be. I will not do this to my son. He can be what he wants.
I find balance in my life by doing a lot of things I enjoy doing outside the workplace.
Hematite: I'm not sure of your details--you work but you don't really have (or want) to work because it reminds you of the forced labor on the farm? You don't help in the way others expect you to? Maybe examine where the negative feelings about work are coming from?
-Lori |
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work avoidance
