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kik1969
USA
7 Posts |
 Posted - 08/25/2008 : 14:12:35
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| Pain is back and big time. I was doing really well. Pain was gone, but I found I was so anxious, even with therapy, that I could not leave my house. Today same thing. Can't leave my house and in horrid pain. I was diagnosed with brain aneurysms this summer - very small but there. Between that and having survived brain cancer 8 1/2 years ago, torn jaw discs and so much head trauma rage, I feel crazy. I yelled at a new friend on Saturday, basically destroying the budding relationship and I feel like I've spent the last 6 months of my life feeling too ugly to leave the house, even though I can say I'm not. I feel like my clothes are weird and everyone will stare at me. I started taking risperdal again, a tiny microdose because obviously I'm paranoid. But I just don't know what to do. As soon as I started to write this post I started feeling better. I really need help. I need posts and even emails or phone numbers. Anyone have any kind of experience with paranoia and tms |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 08/25/2008 : 14:45:47
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How about WRITING about how you are FEELING . . .explore what's there. . .you just said that writing this post helped you.  |
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andrews65
United Kingdom
18 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2008 : 01:28:38
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| It sounds like short term you could do with talking to someone about what's going on. Can you go to your GP? Or are there any telephone help lines available for you to call and get this stuff out? |
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kik1969
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2008 : 08:40:34
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| I'm not sure what a gp could do for me. I've tried every psych drug imaginable and now I can't take most due to aneurysms. But good news! After I wrote the post and read some other posts pain started to abate. I also read a post about byron katie and asked myself: why do i think there's something so wrong with how I look people will be angry with me? Why am I thinking about this a lot? And so I think I'll hang around the forum and see what else I can pick up upon. I don't know. I think paranoia is another way to ignore feelings of rage and upset. Just like pain. When the pain went away this year I had a hard time leaving my room. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2008 : 08:45:34
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Yes, paranoia/anxiety is another distraction from feelings. You're on the right track with focusing on how you feel and writing about it.
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What were you expecting? |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2008 : 08:48:11
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I really empathize kik.
From a TMS point of view, which you seem to be embracing, the fact that the pain went and the anxiety came does indicate that you're dealing with some inner emotional stuff that you don't want to feel or acknowledge. I think we can all relate.
As someone said, write about how you FEEL, either here or in a journal. Go to your therapist or find a new one. Get help. Get meds, if necessary. Don't use TMS theory to feel bad about feeling bad.
Byron Katie wouldn't say "why" do you believe such and such, but would only have you look at whether it is true, deep in your core, and what believing it is doing to you, and what "turn-arounds" you can make up. But don't use the idea of her work to make yourself wrong.
You're not wrong. You're just going through some chaotic inner "weather." I've been there - many of us have been there.
If it helps, remember that you are really connected to a deep, loving source that has never left you and will never leave you and loves you unconditionally.
Sending you love
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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kik1969
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - 09/01/2008 : 06:10:15
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| Thanks for your sharing. I do see that it is deep anxiety/rage that is really compelling me to infinite distractions. But how to get to the core once and for all, or is that very American thinking that you can nuke something and it won't come back? I suppose continued is the word of the day. continued to learn how to be true to myself and not put myself in positions where I end up feelign rage. |
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help!!!! pain and paranoia.
