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nora
Canada
22 Posts |
 Posted - 03/17/2008 : 17:54:01
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| Hello all. I haven't posted in a long time and have been doing quite well with low back - TMS issues- until about 3 weeks ago. I "pulled a muscle " in my lower back while sleeping. Nonsense, right? Since then, I have been in a downward spiral. I even made a visit to a physio today who thinks I have SI joint issues, and actually manipulated the joint. Darn, I have fallen into the trap of believing that this is really a physical problem and now I can't even stand up.. I have a lot of crap going on im my life right now, and am a chronic worrier. I am an only child of an elderly mother with Alzheimers and her condition is taking a huge emotional toll on me. My kids are wonderful, but are away at college and unable to help out. My husband offers a little support, but mostly resents the time I feel I need to spend with her. I am worrying about everything right now and would appreciate a few words of advise to talk me down from this state!!! Thx |
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stanfr
USA
268 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2008 : 20:35:17
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| Aside from cheerleading from the sidelines, there's not much we/i can do for you, since it's clear from your post that you already know that this is anxiety/TMS and not a nonsensical pulled muscle. Obviously, going to the phisio was the wrong move, so now time to move past that. Since you understand that there's nothing structurally wrong, start acting that way. You have a ton of stress, and it might be good if you can get some help/counseling dealing with that. But as far as the physical symptoms go, defy them every chance you get, do not let it affect your day to day plans in the least, use self talk and journaling to reassert to your subconscious that you are in control, that there is nothing wrong, and that this wont derail you. Laugh at it, cause it's only worth your laughter. |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2008 : 22:59:30
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So sorry to hear about your stressful situation. I also have an elderly mother with Alzheimers and her condition is taking a huge emotional toll on me (in fact I copied and pasted your phrase). Mine is in England. I sometimes feel as though I am living out her suffering in my body, or at least, that my unconscious thinks it is supposed to and that's why I have symptoms right now.
Yes, straining your back in bed is a tall story. Just think of all the countries where they work for 50 years physically and never hear about "putting your back out," so they never experience it. But you obviously need some empathy and some space where you can be heard right now. We are here to hear you as best we can.
And...The fact of not being supported emotionally by your hubby is a pisser. I would be angry. I'm sending you all the best.
xx
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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AmyAJJ
98 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2008 : 00:58:42
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Nora, you might find this story from The Divided Mind helpful:
I'm paraphrasing it, but this is how I remember it:
It's the one about the guy who wanted to run a marathon.
He had been training and had some pain in his calf and
it got so bad that he couldn't run anymore. He could do
other things to train like bike, etc. but running was
offlimits. Too painful.
He realized that he had TMS and continued on with his
training even though running was possible. And he wound
up doing the race itself because he wasn't going to let
the TMS deter him - even when he wasn't totally prepared
because of the lack of running in his training.
So the race happens and on mile 6 he gets this incredible
pain in his calf/leg so he starts talking to himself about
how he's going to allow for his leg to feel fatigue and
strain because it's a marathon afterall, but this TMS
pain is ridiculous and it needs to leave.
After 200 yards he said the TMS pain totally went away.
----
I thought you might like that story because it might help
you get back into talking to your subconscious in the
ways that are supportive around TMS.
You definitely have a lot going on in your life that could
contribute to the stress, so now it's a matter of reminding
yourself that what you're experiencing is psychological
and not physical. That your back is totally fine and doesn't
need anymore adjustments or treatments. It's just the
oxygen deprivation that can hurt like hell, but isn't
dangerous. And your back is on your side - trying to distract
you from what the mind thinks would be much more painful
than what you're experiencing in your back. The mind/back
is trying to take care of you. It's your friend - not the
enemy.
Especially when you're feeling like you need some support
and your husband and children are unable to be there for you,
that can bring up feelings of anger, and resentment from
other times when you haven't been supported the way you
wanted to be also. So like one of the other commenters
suggested, go into that journaling and give voice to what
could be contributing to your anger.
Your back is fine. As you move around during the day remind
yourself of that. And when you feel some pain, think of it
as emotional pain - not physical pain.
So glad you asked this question here. I needed to hear
all this stuff for myself tonight too! One of the things
I notice is that with other people who aren't familiar with
Sarno's materials, I do talk about my back in terms of
physical because I don't want to get into explaining things
with them. (Me trying to be good and liked.) And I think
that sets me back. So if you need somewhere to come and
talk out your stuff to set yourself back to the truth about
your TMS, here would be a good place.
Oh, and way to go for reaching out and asking for what you
wanted in terms of having someone talk you down from this
state. I thought that was awesome. |
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lmcox
24 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2008 : 02:26:36
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So sorry to hear you're hurting (both physically and otherwise)-- one thing that really worked for me was consciously BREATHING INTO THE PAIN. Sounds weird, but if you're chronically worried and not breathing, the lack of oxygen will do bad things to your muscles, which then does bad things to your mind.
Take some quiet time every day, and really breathe into the places that hurt. You don't have to meditate or do anything fancy. Just some time for yourself, to be quiet-- it really helps you start to incline your mind toward accepting that, in fact, there is nothing wrong.
Good luck! |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2008 : 04:46:16
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nora, just wanted to offer a small bit. There is a feeling I've been trying to avoid lately, and I get into the same kind of froth as you seem to be in in your post. I know what the feeling is (guilt about mistakes), but I get so worked up I can't just sit in the feeling. Try to take a few deep breaths and just be within your feeling, or the fact that you have a feeling (being overwhelmed is what it sounds like), for a few minutes, and see if that helps you center and see what's going on.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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nora
Canada
22 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2008 : 09:23:29
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quote:
Originally posted by stanfr
Aside from cheerleading from the sidelines, there's not much we/i can do for you, since it's clear from your post that you already know that this is anxiety/TMS and not a nonsensical pulled muscle. Obviously, going to the phisio was the wrong move, so now time to move past that. Since you understand that there's nothing structurally wrong, start acting that way. You have a ton of stress, and it might be good if you can get some help/counseling dealing with that. But as far as the physical symptoms go, defy them every chance you get, do not let it affect your day to day plans in the least, use self talk and journaling to reassert to your subconscious that you are in control, that there is nothing wrong, and that this wont derail you. Laugh at it, cause it's only worth your laughter.
thx to all for your support !
Since my physio visit yesterday, I am unable to walk down the hall without incredible pain. Do you think it would be o.k. to rest in bed today provided I do some soul searching ? |
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stanfr
USA
268 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2008 : 19:14:10
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| I think it would be ok for you to rest today even if you dont do any "soul searching"! You have to stop making these "provided I..." statements, that's what's leading to the stressful reactions. Self imposed burdens or duties are all part of the vicious cycle of worrying that you are dealing with. I know it's difficult, but you have to start moving away from that paradigm. If resting is relaxful, then do it, just dont do anything to give attention to the symptoms. Everyone is different, but when i was suffering with pain from scatica that was so bad that i cried just getting out of the car, the first thing i did was go jogging in the park, and while i jogged, instead of giving the overwhelming pain any attention, i repeated a mantra/poem that asserted that i was control and getting stronger with every step. It was brutal, but the pain did not get worse, as it would have had it been physical in origin. Once it sank in to my subconscious that i wasn't buying the physical origin, the symptoms started to resolve. |
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Please talk me down
