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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
 Posted - 02/17/2008 : 23:28:00
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Just wanted to give an update. This whole approach is continuing to be very true for me. Yet I have been having some uncontrollably difficult symptoms recently, which seem directly related to my family members getting old and sick.
I'm traveling back to England tomorrow (I'm an ex-pat, been in States for 35 years) for 3 day quick trip this week to visit my mom.
The last time I saw her - and soon after found out my sister had cancer - was so intense that I developed some quite serious illness which has been going on for 5 months. Not exactly "TMS," in that it involved dangerous bleeding, infections, viruses, etc. But clearly on some level similar to TMS, directly connected to what I'm feeling as my mum descends into dementia at 89, and my sis has cancer.
I don't think this illness was exactly a distraction. I'm journaling, feeling it some, keeping going with life, etc. It feels more to me like my body's way of processing some old stuff that I have been quite aware is moving through me. Memories of intense abuse from my sister. Prior to that, similar with my mother. Now they are vulnerable and perhaps dying. I'm the only healthy remaining family member, doing my best to hold some space. But I've been living far far away for most of my life, for a reason.
Anyway, I'm going for a quick visit, because my mum is missing me so much, is so lonely at the end of her life. Wants to live alone. Doesn't want help. Just wants me and my sister to tend to her, but because of history, we're not emotionally drawn to do so - just through duty, which wears thin.
I'm a bit anxious about going. In fact I'm only going because I am better enough to make the trip, but since I booked it 2 days ago, I've been dizzy and tired and achey...
Wish me luck. No - I don't exactly need luck. Send me love.
Thanks
xx
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 02/18/2008 : 01:20:59
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I wish you love, Wavy.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 02/18/2008 : 03:35:12
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Lots of love Wavy
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
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Back into the fray
