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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
 Posted - 11/18/2007 : 12:27:36
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Edited because of personal info and privacy.
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Edited by - la_kevin on 04/18/2011 04:17:20 |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2007 : 14:47:05
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quote:
Originally posted by la_kevin
I think it's ok to admit set backs, and tell yourself that maybe you'll allow the pain to run free for a day or two until you get the strength to focus again. Does that make sense? I think that's what I'm trying to ask here. Is it ok for me to say, "Ok pain, I'll let you have today because I'm honestly to tired and frazzled to remember my TMS fighting Jedi tricks...so I'm just going to stay in bed today because I want to sit still".
Absolutely, I agree with you LaKev! It is ok, and I even think it is necessary for you to say, Ok pain, I accept you are there, and try not to stop it. Remember, pain is there for a reason, it has a purpose: to tell you something. Sometimes it takes longer to figure out what it's saying. The longer you witness yourself reacting to the pain psychologically, the better you will become at receiving the meaning behind the pain.
Your story thus far has been impressive.
Personally, when I began recover I wanted to become the poster child for TMS recovery. I wanted to speed thru the work and get rid of the pain so I could put it behind me (perfectionist). I wanted to earn my family's praise for my healing, but --most important to me--I wanted to get well to inspire and help other people (people pleaser).
I learned that my drive was often self-sabotaging. What are YOUR reasons for wanting rapid recovery?
I think you are doing great and wish you continued success. TMS is a life sentence, but I firmly believe when we are being honest with ourselves and we are doing and saying things that are genuine to what we want out of life, it is possible to stop the TMS pain cycle.
On another note, I suspect you have really upset your subconscious by trying to change too many things at once. I would say that anyone quitting smoking would probably be much more likely to have TMS: No only are depriving yourself soemthing that your body is chemically addicted to, but you also have an emotional addiction to smoking. I was a smoker years ago and now I can see how smoking was another form of my obsession/distraction behavior: instead of dealing with feelings of hunger, boredom or loneliness, I'd have a smoke. That habit shifted to overeating after I quit smoking. Then shifted to insane exercise routine. Anything to avoid the negative feelings.
I won't encourage you to start smoking again, but I'm wondering if you could be a little kinder to yourself and lower your expectation a little. I've read a lot of your posts that have been really helpful to me, but I must say I often notice your drive and passion, and wonder if your zeal for doing things right and grand might be cause you more trouble than good right now. (I am also jealous of your success, but this is NOT why I'm saying all this.) Please don't take this the wrong way, I only say it because I can see your commitment to getting well and wish you could be a little kinder to yourself.
YES!!!!! Lower your self expectations. Eventually you can raise the bar back up for yourself, but take it easy and maybe by feeling less self-imposed pressure, you can get to a place of natural transition, instead of forced deprivation.
I let many high standards fall, and then as I chose which ones I wanted to keep, I felt liberated, as they were inline with how I choose to live my life, instead out of obligation or habit.
You are already doing so much work in therapy! Perhaps you could change one habit at a time, and when you have time and hindsight on your side, then tackle another change.
Be kind to yourself. Yes, try to make healthier choices, but sometimes a donut is a good way to reward yourself for progress.
Best to you!
Penny
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Edited by - Penny on 11/18/2007 15:01:44 |
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lidge
USA
184 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2007 : 15:41:25
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Kevin-
I agree 100% with Penny's post. But another thought occurred to me. You finally managed to get rid of the pain. Instead of taking time to rejoice in feeling good again, you decide to quit smoking. While obviously bad for you, smoking makes you feel good. Is it possible there is a part of you that feels you don't deserve to feel good? As soon as one pain is licked, you dive headfirst into something else that will induce some type of pain.
Of course you should quit for your overall health, but maybe there is a part of you that can't stand that things are going "too good". One week of no pain is great( at least you know for sure that its TMS!) but maybe you should enjoy being pain-free for a while before going full steam ahead with quitting cigarettes (I assume its cigarettes )
Maybe "the biting off more than you can chew" is a form of self-defeatism. You just had a big win but you have decided not to relish in the victory- its just on to another fight.
Penny is right - be a little kinder to yourself!
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Hogwild
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - 11/18/2007 : 20:34:30
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| My pain came back recently after being gone for a year and a half. I worried about it for a couple of days and then just ignored it. After a couple of more days it went away. I think mine feeds off of the fear. Hang in there. |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2007 : 08:04:53
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Setbacks are part of the recovery process.
TMS is a life-long habit and you can't just expect it to go away overnight. For most people it doesn't seem to work that way.
If you set expectations too high, monitor progress on a daily basis, and allow yourself to be frustrated if the pain returns, you are hindering the process.
It's imperative to take a long-term view. This is not a miracle cure. It's a life-long change in your thoughts, attitude, and behavior. |
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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2007 : 10:15:30
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| Thanks for the responses. I think I put too much pressure on myself this week with many things. I just want to go forward so bad after time wasted, years wasted in fact. And yes, TMS recovery is a complete change in thinking and response. It's just that it sometimes feels overwhelming to constantly retrain my thinking. |
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Pain back after a good run of none.
