| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
rjm
16 Posts |
 Posted - 10/12/2007 : 11:36:56
|
Hi All--
Has anyone had the problem of believing in TMS themselves, but having family members not getting it, and keep pushing you to the physical world explanation? What do you do about it?
It's hard enough to fight yourself when sometimes you start to stray away from the TMS belief, but when you get the propaganda of others you care about knocking the theory or even fighting with you about it, it really throws things off. Plus, you can't get the support you need because they only back you when you do things the way they believe they should be done, rather than the love and caring being unconditional.
I want to see Dr. Schecter or Sarno (although I don't think Sarno will see me even though I am an ex-NYer since I am out-of-state), since I haven't been able to shake the TMS on my own so I am thinking maybe it would help to hear it literally from a TMS doc (anyone know of any TMS docs in the Denver, CO area or nearby state?), but I am getting resistance that I should be seeing "real doctors" even though I've already explored the physical world for my unexplained lower leg pain that switched sides. I saw 3 orthopedists, 2 physiatrists, had acupuncture, saw a neurologist, did a physical therapy session which made thinge worse, saw a chiropractor (just for an eval, I didn't do treatment), had low back and leg MRIs, EMGs on both lower legs and they all don't know what to tell me, which only reinforced my belief that this is TMS.
I actually laughed to myself when a family member discussed my situation with an orthopedist friend, who said my slightly narrow spinal opening and slight disc bulge at L5 had to be stenosis that was causing my pain.
Thanks for any thoughts on this.
|
|
|
JohnD
USA
371 Posts |
Posted - 10/12/2007 : 12:39:08
|
| I think the question should be: who hasn't had a problem with someone close (family or friends) accepting the TMS concept? |
 |
|
|
gezondheid
50 Posts |
Posted - 10/12/2007 : 12:40:59
|
RJM,
This is not nice but believe me all people who work with the Sarno material have this problem. People near to me say it is nonsense. Or a lot of people with the same complaints listen very carefully and never say a thing after you spoke with them. After 7 months of Sarno and good results i haven't found anybody who also want's to join the mindbody game. A spoke about 15 persons about this and sent them internetlinks and gave them names of books.
My remedy?? Take it or leave it, also in helping. I try to do do what i need to do. There is one nice way of cooping with this. You take a car, you play the song killing in the name off - Rage against the Machine and sing the song. It gives me the feeling of i will do it anyway and for me it releases rage. Volume extreme high.
Maybe you can look for people with TMS in your area and gather every 2 weeks?
Good luck and you are not on your own and simply never will be.
move-on |
|
|
|
Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 10/12/2007 : 12:56:24
|
Hi RJM,
Yes, this is all too familiar. For me I realized that my trying to persuade others in my family was an prime example of one of my patterns that contribute to my TMS in the first place: Trying to help/fix other people, or validate myself and my choices by proving validity of something else.
I have given up trying to convince others of TMS. If someone asks me how I got well, I'll offer it. I may even mention the books in passing, but unless someone is keen and open to it, I don't push it. I realized that the work for recovery is my own to do. No one else could possibly know me, the depth of my illness or the pains thru recovery, except me--so how could I profess to know what would work for others? Afterall, when the student is ready the teacher appears, right?!(My dear husband, mother, brother etcw all echo to me "Oh, well your pain was different ... mine is REAL!" AGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! I've come to accept this so it's ok, b/c I live with my own truth now, not their's. You can't help those who don't want to be helped. It seems to me that for many people pain serves a more important purpose than being pain free.
Hang in there and focus on getting yourself better. Don't worry if people think your nuts (if they do). People used to believe the world was flat  and it only took a bazillion years for that paradigm to shift. Sounds to me like your concerned about what others think of you. Forget that for a while. Find out what YOU think of you, that's the most important opinion of all.
|
|
|
|
HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 10/13/2007 : 06:52:29
|
I kept pretty quiet about Sarno when I was trying to recover, because I knew that I was going to be struggling with doubt as it was, and I didn't want anyone else reinforcing that doubt - even if it was only: "So how's it going - any improvement yet?" type of question.
(Now I've recovered I've told lots of people of course.)
But I was way beyond seeing doctors as they couldn't find anything structurally wrong with me and I didn't have anyone on my back trying to make me see more doctors.
Maybe you could just keep reiterating to your family that you have seen Dr X, Dr Y etc and none have found any structural explanation for your pain. Perhaps suggest to them that they need to give you space to do your own research and find your own cure. Say you need a break from doctors because it's raising your anxiety levels and you need some time to come to terms with your "situation" on your own.
I like gezondheid's idea, too, of finding other people in your area with TMS and talk to them.
Hilary N |
|
|
|
vikki
95 Posts |
Posted - 10/14/2007 : 16:22:54
|
Hi rjm,
Most of my family did not -- and still do not -- believe in TMS. They always suggested new structural explanations for my pain and new physical treatments to try. I did the same as HillaryN -- I just stopped talking to them about it. When they asked, "How's your pain?" I just responded, "Fine, much better." I said this even if it wasn't true. If they wanted to discuss it further, or warned me against doing certain activities, I just changed the subject. Basically, I just started living my life as if the pain had gone.
Good luck! |
|
|
|
Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 10/15/2007 : 21:53:45
|
Has anyone had the problem of believing in TMS themselves, but having family members not getting it, and keep pushing you to the physical world explanation? What do you do about it?
You dont need other people's approval or support to get better. You simply take control of your own recovery, thats all that matters. If _they_ dont approve or try to suggest going the route of the medical/industrial complex, just say thanks but no thanks.
You dont have to explain yourself, just be cordial and press on with your progress.
The proof will come later when you win and TMS loses.
Take care, -Stryder
|
|
|
|
rjm
16 Posts |
Posted - 10/15/2007 : 23:00:23
|
Thanks all for the encouragement!
I know what you're saying, it's just VERY tough to block out the negativity, and since I often have very obvious pain episodes, it's tough to hide and say I'm okay when I am not at that moment.
I feel I've seen everyone I can to rule out anything structural or serious, so now I have to just work on me.
On the plus side, in some ways :), I got laid off from my job last week which some people would think would be stressful, but in my case, it has made me feel better as it was a very stressful situation and I always felt conflicted about working there since I felt the company was not always doing right by its clients. Stress is life, but it certainly can't hurt to have a major source eliminated. It also kept me from being self-employed and doing more of my writing work--something I truly enjoy. This my husband is supportive about so no worries there fortunately. |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
Anyone Have Problem W/Family Accepting TMS Concept
