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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
 Posted - 08/01/2007 : 05:18:07
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Oh Beth , I think your mom and my mom should get together some time. They'll have lots to talk about. I just love this poem by Philip Larkin which just about sums it up for me. I suspect that you'll enjoy it too. The title says it all
This Be The Verse
They **** you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were ****ed up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.
--Philip Larkin
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
Edited by - mala on 08/01/2007 05:21:07 |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2007 : 08:04:47
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I will take a stab and say that you unconsciously believed that the continuation of intense physical exercise will keep your pain banished. Thus you fell back into the mental trap that your pain in due to a physical problem. You must honestly ask yourself whay you were doing those exercises in the first place. Was it for overall fitness, or was it to keep the pain banished? Only you can answer that question.
*******
Sarno-ize it!
Read chapter 4 of Dr. Sarno's "The Divided Mind." It's all you need to know in order to recover. |
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h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2007 : 14:58:41
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Mala,
What a great idea, introducing our two mothers. Can you see each one shooting down the other in order to try to keep each other from being in the lime light.
"You're a handsome woman, for an Indian."
"Oh, thank you. Is it weird seeing the world from a Four Foot ten inch frame?"
Actually, they would probably try to out brag each other about how wonderful their daughters were. Ironic, since we'd never hear any of the compliments.
Beth |
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ndb
209 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2007 : 15:10:05
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Beth, Mala,
Take a look at armchairlinguist's post in this thread and the link therein:
http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3719&whichpage=4
I thought it was interesting what the author (and others) have said about masking our hurt because of our parents' behavior with humor. That's kind of what struck me when I read you guys' last 2 posts. The poem is very true though. That's how I feel about the endless cycle of misery. But I think we should take steps away from feeling this way. Its a very unhappy way to feel about life. We've lost innocence and though i think deep inside we regret that, we cover it up with cynicism.
ndb |
Edited by - ndb on 08/01/2007 15:13:32 |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2007 : 17:57:10
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ndb, my therapist sometimes catches me doing this, and tries to gently remind me that something very sad happened.
But on the other hand, I think a sense of humor is sometimes necessary so we don't get too down. Tough thing to balance.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2007 : 18:28:15
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Beth you so crack me up.
Your remark about outbraging each other is absolutely on the button. My sister who went to India with my mom in december was saying she couldn't stop boasting about me and my husband to anyone who would listen. The sad thing is that she is doing this for self glorification and because it makes her feel superior, not for the right reasons.
Ndb, as for yr remark about masking hurt with humour, finding the humour in life's challenges is what helps us to get through the day, reminds us of life's absurdities, and provides relief from the stress and strain of daily life. After you have ranted and raved and journalled and cried and acknowledged what is going on, I don't think there is any harm in using humour as a form of expression. The problem is only when you use it as a means of coping without really tackling the underlying issues.
The larkin poem IMO uses humour and irony very effectively to get to the heart of the matter.
Shawnsmith, I thought about what you said very carefully and I honestly don't think that my reason for excersing was to keep the pain at bay. I have always loved doing yoga and one day I read on a yoga website that people wre doing 108 sunsalutations to raise money. 108 is a mystical number in Hinduism and so i thought I would slowly work my way up to 108. But it is a very gd point that you raised and it has made me more aware of what I think when I am doing exercise.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
Edited by - mala on 08/01/2007 18:32:39 |
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ndb
209 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2007 : 19:02:48
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quote:
Originally posted by mala
...I don't think there is any harm in using humour as a form of expression. The problem is only when you use it as a means of coping without really tackling the underlying issues.
Yes, this is what I meant. I don't think there is harm in humor either.
ndb |
Edited by - ndb on 08/01/2007 19:05:24 |
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h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2007 : 20:53:24
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Hi Mala,
I'm glad I got a laugh.
We usually don't dignify Shawn's weird responses like that one with an answer. It only encourages him. He gets really preachy and weird sometimes, and I really don't understand that side of him. Sometimes he comes on with great links and insights, but usually, it's these preachy directives and silly quizlike questions.
ndb, I am actually not cynical about families. I drew close to the parents of my friends and husband, so as to learn positive tendencies from them. I have a couple "foster" Mom's and Dad's that I love dearly, and get love and support from.
Bottom line, anyone who thinks humor or exercise is bad, is missing the point of living.
Beth |
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in need of some help
