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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
 Posted - 06/16/2007 : 08:06:08
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When I’m in pain or feeling ill and I’ve tried doing the emotional stuff and it doesn’t seem to work, then I find the best solution is to “get angry” with the pain. When I’m in pain I feel like a victim to the pain and that it’s out of my control. (“Oh my God, I feel so awful, I just want to go to bed and do nothing and hope that this will pass.”)
In this case I have to become really determined that I’m the one in control - not the pain (or illness), and I have to tell it very determinedly to go away, carrying on as much as possible with daily activities.
I have to change my thinking from “being a victim” to “being in control” and it can take a very big effort to do that. The effect might not be immediate, but it does work if I keep it up. It can become almost like a battle, with the pain or illness increasing at times, and me falling back into “victim” mode. But I have to keep telling myself that I’m not going to let it continue, I know what’s going on, and I’m the one in charge, not the pain or illness.
The sooner I tackle it, the easier. So if I feel something coming on my thought has to be a determined “Oh no you don’t”, rather than a “victim”-like “Oh no, here it comes”.
Here are some other “victim”-like patterns of thought I find myself having, along with the counter-thoughts I tell myself:
“My feet are hurting – gosh it must be these new shoes I’m not used to “
Counter-thought: “It’s nothing to do with the shoes”
“I feel sick – it must be that (fish/cheese/egg) I ate. (Fish/cheese/egg) really doesn’t agree with me.”
Counter-thought: “Nothing to do with what I ate, it’s just TMS.”
“Ooh a little twinge in my finger – I must have overdone the typing today.”, or,
“Ouch, a twinge in my back – I shouldn’t have lifted that heavy furniture.”
Counter-thought: “Rubbish, TMS is just trying it on, but I’m not going to let it take control.”
“Sore throat, oh no, I’ve got a cold coming on. It’s going around at the moment.”
Counter-thought: “Oh no, you don’t. Go away, I’m not letting this take a hold.”
“A rash on my finger – I’ve been eating too much fruit. Better eat less.”
Counter-thought: “I’m not letting this stop me eat fruit. I’ll eat as much as I want.”
Would anyone like to add to the list?
Hilary N |
Edited by - HilaryN on 06/17/2007 08:20:48 |
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LuvtoSew
USA
327 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2007 : 08:34:23
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Oh for sure its the fear thing keeping me where I'm at I think. I have tmj and am afraid to eat and my husband just says to eat. I force myself. After seeing two tmj dentist , just made it worst, I have to believe there is some phychological aspect to this.
Now my low back pain has come and gone for years and usually subsides on its own, but this tmj stuff just is killing me. |
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JohnO
USA
63 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2007 : 08:54:00
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Hilary, that's a really good post and pretty much address the new topic I added this morning. It's almost like you're answering mine without knowing it.
There's a lot in this forum about taking charge of the pain and not falling prey to it but I like your get tough approach. When you do this, does the pain stop right away, at all, in an hour or two or what?
I think when you take control like that you know you are 100% convinced you have TMS and the physical stuff diappears from your thinking. |
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LadyBug
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2007 : 09:13:06
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Hilary, Thanks for the suggestions. I guess I'll have to try that. I am very down about this today. Yesterday my daughter invited me to go to Barnes and Noble with her. Jumping at the chance, because there are 4 books on my list I want to buy,I happily accepted. The first few minutes in her vehicle I knew I was in trouble. The seat was awful, put my back at a bad pitch. I was in pain b4 that but the ride was grueling and I could barely make it thru the store. I have been so hard at work, "thinking emotionally, not physical". How does one do that when you're in so much pain? Sometimes I can't see past it. Later last evening, more demands were placed upon me and I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I think because I am in this mode of "ignore that, work it thru....." that people just don't take into account that even tho I am trying to smile and get on with life, the pain is still there. And now today, it is worse. So more Acadmey Award winning performances? It's getting old. I will try getting tough with it like you suggest. But I am getting tired. The pain is no better. In fact it is worse. Thanks for the suggestions. I'll try.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished |
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Shary
147 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2007 : 09:28:38
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Being the one in control is a large part of what Fred Amir bases his book on. Right now I'm working on his 9-step method for becoming pain-free. Amir's technique uses a lot of visualization, both practical and far-out, and I have a good imagination. I have gotten to where I can very vividly visualize myself as Rocky in the ring, beating the tar out of my pain while my subconscious capitulates to my superiority. I have also visualized myself as a tsunami, gathering strength as I roll across the ocean and smash into the (uninhabited) wooden shacks of my pain, exposing them as the flimsy things they are and splintering them to bits while my naughty subconscious runs shrieking toward higher ground. I proclaim repeatedly, as often as possible, that I AM THE ONE IN CONTROL!
It's too soon to know whether these things are effective or not--particularly the idea of rewarding my inner child with a piece of cake when it complies with my itemized benchmarks. But I will say that I very quickly got to the point where I can put my hand on an area that hurts and say, STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! And within a minute or two, it usually does stop hurting.
I know you all are laughing. I don't blame you. I did too. In fact at first it was really hard to take any of it seriously, and I probably wouldn't mention it outside of this forum. My first thought was that Amir is really brave to write a book about this and actually put his name on it. But, rationalizing here, even if nothing else happens as a result of these efforts, injecting a little humor into my life amid so much pain has been a very good thing.
Aside from some of this sillier stuff, which is theoretically geared to an inner child's level of comprehension, Amir offers some goal-oriented steps that have real potential as far as breaking out of the pain-fear-pain cycle. |
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LadyBug
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2007 : 10:10:29
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Amir's book is one that I was after when I made my trek to B and N. It was out, so it's on order and I hope to have it next week. I can certainly use all the help I can get. Till then, I will be struggling thru this weekend. I hardly feel like a tsunami, more like a drippy puddle at this point! I will keep trying, thanks.......
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2007 : 10:27:18
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It's like the ladies have taken over and ARN'T GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!
If you's can do it, so can I....I'm not gonna be a victim anymore! |
Edited by - skizzik on 06/16/2007 15:58:00 |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2007 : 10:50:18
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F**k Yes, HilaryN
I'm with you. Great post.
What works for me - and, again, I probably wouldn't say this many places outside of this forum, or even this thread...
instead of saying "I'M IN CONTROL" I tell the subconscious that my SOUL IS IN CONTROL and is perfectly healthy. Sometimes I say THIS IS GOD's BOD, NOT YOURS!.
Okay, I admitted it. And I'm not even religious. But I've been on a spiritual path my whole adult life. And this is what works for me.
btw TMJ person, I had the worst possible case and it was TMS and I'm fine now (crunching crackers as I write)
xx
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2007 : 14:33:37
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quote:
Originally posted by LadyBug
Later last evening, more demands were placed upon me and I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I think because I am in this mode of "ignore that, work it thru....." that people just don't take into account that even tho I am trying to smile and get on with life, the pain is still there. And now today, it is worse. So more Acadmey Award winning performances? It's getting old.
WOHHHHH, Darling .... LadyBug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is really telling a lot from your subconscious. I have to jump in on this thread (I hope Hilary ... everyone else doesn't mind) b/c I see myself in the above, and want to help you LadyBug.
Have you considered what your life would be like if you stopped your award winning dramatics to avoid how you really feel and start looking at why you are denying your true emotions? If DEMANDS are placed on you, why do you agree to their imposition???? Why DIDN'T you crawl up in a ball and cry????? It's raw and unpleasant emotions like these that us TMSers should NOT run away from or stow. Of course, there are times that it's not appropriate to show these, but if you bottleneck them up and NEVER show them, that's when trouble happens.
Ignoring the pain, is completely different than ignoring the patterns we have in our lives that CREATE the pain. You should ignore the pain and shift focus to the emotions instead. (This can be even harder than submissing to physical pain.)
The fact that the second you got in your daughter's car, you started feeling pain, begs me to wonder what's up with you and your daughter? Are you in touch with your true feelings? Are you jealous or angry with her? does she have things/relationships in her life that you always wanted for yourself, but never had? Perhaps your IC is stark-raving mad about the unfairness of her life being 'better' than yours? For me, I had this experience with my daughter when she started school. She will never be beaten or hit the way I was in my schooling (thank GOD), and although I am SO happy for her consciously, subconsciously (I'm guessing) I am angry, b/c I never had this--the unjustice.
Acknowledging jealousy is very hard for me, but I share this as an example of how twisted and messed up repressed emotions can be that can lead to physical pain. Our subconscious makes NO sense, it only rants, raves, and cries and whines when we give the larger piece of cake to someone else.
I don't know you, but I hazzard to guess that you smile and "get on with life" not only in the face of your TMS pain, but also with other things that don't go the way you want them to, but you don't speak up or do anything about it. Perhaps you don't feel worthy?
I have a strong feeling that you are expecting your family to validate your experience (and your suffering) somehow, by acknowledging your pain. No one can do this for you. You have to pat your own Self on the back. YOU have to pick yourself up off the floor. YOU! YOU! YOU! You need to start feeling empathy for yourself, and doing and feeling things you want, when you want. Take some of your power back. This isn't easy, but I have a strong feeling that if you start expressing your true (and dangerous) emotions, things will change for you and your pain will lift.
I really hope this helps. I only share all this to lift you and hopefully help.
>|< Penny
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain."
The Great and Powerful Oz |
Edited by - Penny on 06/16/2007 14:35:48 |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2007 : 14:47:31
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quote:
Originally posted by HilaryN
Would anyone like to add to the list?
Terrific ideas and great thread, Hilary!
Pretty much every physical manifestion I get, I consider TMS FIRST before rushing to the doctor. (This is coming from a person who visited the doctor last year MORE times than going to the grocery store ... ok, a little exageration  )
If I don't have a fever, if it's not bleeding or oozing, if it's not burned or broken, IT'S TMS!!!!!!!!!!!!
>|< Penny
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain."
The Great and Powerful Oz |
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Paul
134 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2007 : 18:42:38
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quote:
WOHHHHH, Darling .... LadyBug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is really telling a lot from your subconscious. I have to jump in on this thread (I hope Hilary ... everyone else doesn't mind) b/c I see myself in the above, and want to help you LadyBug.
Have you considered what your life would be like if you stopped your award winning dramatics to avoid how you really feel and start looking at why you are denying your true emotions? If DEMANDS are placed on you, why do you agree to their imposition???? Why DIDN'T you crawl up in a ball and cry????? It's raw and unpleasant emotions like these that us TMSers should NOT run away from or stow. Of course, there are times that it's not appropriate to show these, but if you bottleneck them up and NEVER show them, that's when trouble happens.
Ignoring the pain, is completely different than ignoring the patterns we have in our lives that CREATE the pain. You should ignore the pain and shift focus to the emotions instead. (This can be even harder than submissing to physical pain.)
The fact that the second you got in your daughter's car, you started feeling pain, begs me to wonder what's up with you and your daughter? Are you in touch with your true feelings? Are you jealous or angry with her? does she have things/relationships in her life that you always wanted for yourself, but never had? Perhaps your IC is stark-raving mad about the unfairness of her life being 'better' than yours? For me, I had this experience with my daughter when she started school. She will never be beaten or hit the way I was in my schooling (thank GOD), and although I am SO happy for her consciously, subconsciously (I'm guessing) I am angry, b/c I never had this--the unjustice.
Acknowledging jealousy is very hard for me, but I share this as an example of how twisted and messed up repressed emotions can be that can lead to physical pain. Our subconscious makes NO sense, it only rants, raves, and cries and whines when we give the larger piece of cake to someone else.
I don't know you, but I hazzard to guess that you smile and "get on with life" not only in the face of your TMS pain, but also with other things that don't go the way you want them to, but you don't speak up or do anything about it. Perhaps you don't feel worthy?
I have a strong feeling that you are expecting your family to validate your experience (and your suffering) somehow, by acknowledging your pain. No one can do this for you. You have to pat your own Self on the back. YOU have to pick yourself up off the floor. YOU! YOU! YOU! You need to start feeling empathy for yourself, and doing and feeling things you want, when you want. Take some of your power back. This isn't easy, but I have a strong feeling that if you start expressing your true (and dangerous) emotions, things will change for you and your pain will lift.
I really hope this helps. I only share all this to lift you and hopefully help.
Amen to that. Hit the nail on the head with your point on so many levels, and even for myself. Thanks for the great post. |
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Shary
147 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2007 : 18:49:15
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What's up, Penny? Bad hair day? I realize you probably meant well, but your post to Ladybug reads like a royal chewing-out.
I found her post to be very indicative of the way I've felt myself at times. There's pain. And then there's PAIN. Sometimes it not only takes your breath away, but it makes you want to slit your throat as well. Depression sets in, followed by apathy. Asserting oneself becomes an uphill battle, and ignoring that kind of pain for the patterns that cause it isn't even an option. All you can do is the best you can, even if it isn't very good. In the face of such misery, I give her considerable credit for that. |
Edited by - Shary on 06/16/2007 19:22:42 |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2007 : 19:27:01
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quote:
Originally posted by Shary
What's up, Penny? Bad hair day? I realize you probably meant well, but your post to Ladybug reads like a royal chewing-out.
I found her post to be very indicative of the way I've felt myself at times. There's pain. And then there's PAIN.
I wasn't referencing physical pain: I was encouraging the exploration the suppressed emotions and unconscious patterns leading to the pain.
I--like you Shary--relate to LB's situation, and the only way I could get through is to ask myself very painful questions.
I suppose the limitations of typed messaging may lose my intended sentiment, but honestly I posted this in the kindest way possible. I try very hard to respond to messages from a place of love and compassion for our fellow forum dwellers, and this was no exception.
LadyBug, if I upset you all I can say is I'm sorry it hurts.
Everyone, The world is an unjust place, and I am yet another person who is on the outside of your experiences: I can only pretend to understand who you are. I offer ideas and support via typed words coming from my own experience.
>|< Penny |
Edited by - Penny on 06/16/2007 19:33:08 |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 06/17/2007 : 08:17:21
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Hi everyone,
Thanks for the replies. I’m glad it was helpful.
It’s nothing new, of course (e.g. Penny has been posting pretty much the same thing) – I’ve just added my perspective. I’ve noticed a pattern on the forum of people being in control of or being “a victim” to the pain.
A while back someone else observed the pattern of people being in fear or not being afraid. I wanted to comment then but didn’t have time.
quote:
(JohnO) When you do this, does the pain stop right away, at all, in an hour or two or what?
JohnO,
Can’t give a timescale for this. In the beginning I thought this approach didn’t work, because there was no immediate result. But then, reading the examples in the book more carefully, I saw that the effect could be the next day. (I wouldn’t have made the association if that were the case.) It might take even longer, in which case the “talking to oneself” has to be more sustained.
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(Ladybug) How does one do that when you're in so much pain?
Ladybug, Yes it’s very hard to do this when in a lot of pain, because pain takes away all one’s energy, and one needs energy to do this.
Try to make a tiny little space inside your mind (if you can, you need to get some time on your own to do this, but you can do it at other times as well) and in that space create a tiny but determined “I’m not going to let this continue. I’m not going to let the pain control me. I know what’s causing this, but I’m not standing for it any more.” – and so on. Keep it up for as long as you can. Of course, you won’t be able to keep it up 100% of the time, you’ll lapse back into “victim” mode
(“Oh my goodness, the pain is so bad, I can’t bear it”, etc), and that’s fine. But try and keep pegging away with the “I’m in control” thoughts whenever you can.
Ladybug, well done for making it to the bookstore!
quote:
(Ladybug) The pain is no better. In fact it is worse.
As you probably know, that’s common, and it could even increase in response to your attempts to take control – it’s as if it’s trying to counter your efforts. So you just keep on with your efforts, too and eventually it will see who’s boss.
Shary, that’s interesting what you say about Amir’s book.
quote:
(Shary) But I will say that I very quickly got to the point where I can put my hand on an area that hurts and say, STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! And within a minute or two, it usually does stop hurting.
I know you all are laughing. I don't blame you.
I’m not laughing. But I know what you mean. Just the idea of having a conversation with oneself like I’ve described does seem a little ridiculous. But if it works, who cares?  See my post in this thread for my thoughts on that:
http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2245
So another addition to the list of “victim” thoughts:
“Victim” thought: “This seat is dreadful, it’s killing my back.”
“Control” thought: (Ladybug, I’ll let you come up with that one. )
Any more? 
Hilary N |
Edited by - HilaryN on 06/17/2007 08:18:33 |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 06/17/2007 : 08:40:08
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By the way, I should add, I don’t think of this as being a substitute for doing work with the emotions – just an additional tool for getting rid of the pain. I even feel slightly uncomfortable about using it because it seems like just another type of repression. I think that if there are emotions there causing problems then they need to come out, otherwise they’ll keep popping up in different physical forms.
I know Sarno says that one doesn’t have to identify the emotions causing the pain to get better, but I don’t take that at face value, because in the personal examples he gives, he does take a look at what’s going on for him.
I was talking about it with a friend (also a RSI/TMS-recoverer who inspired me to read Sarno) and saying how doing the emotional work often didn’t seem to work on it’s own, whereas the “being in control” thoughts could get rid of the pain / illness.
We came to the conclusion that this is an “emergency” tool, just as one would use painkillers in the short-term to take the edge off the pain so that one has the energy to do the mental work. But in the long term it’s better to work with the emotions.
Perhaps this tool is necessary as well, in addition, to “kick-start” the change. Who knows? Perhaps in 50 years time we’ll have the answer.
Hilary N |
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LadyBug
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2007 : 11:25:57
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Thank you , all that took the time to respond to my cry for help. It was indeed, a cry. Luvs to Sew: I suffered with TMJ for almost an entire year. It was quite some time ago and I know exactly what caused it. It was TMS and I had never heard of TMS at that time. Hang in there.
Skiz - How are you doin' these days? It was good to hear from you. I am taking your advice from a few weeks ago and am trying to "Keep On Truckin'.....
Wavy Soul - I've always believed the the mind and soul are one the same. I will remember your suggestions and I'm happy they are working for you.
Penny - We do seem to be running on the same track, don't we? Let me explain about my daughter and how that whole stupid thing happened. It was pouring rain and while we usually do transfer to my car, there was nowhere for her to park but the street and she had her 3 yr old and her car seat to transfer. It just seemed easier. Dumb, I know. You can be sure I will never let it happen again. It was simply logistics and looked like the easier of the choices. Yeah, I've been told by lots of people that I am "stoic". I used to take it as a compliment. I don't anymore. I now see it as a red flag for the TMS that it is. If you could refer to Anne G's post in Fake It Till You Make It, (could you also teach me how to highlight someone's previous post in my own? Duh ) She says faking it is more of a conditioning process that stops the the terrible cycle of pain. I think that's what I have been trying to do. Perhaps failing miserably. It is a learned behavior that I do not whine about my pain, learned from listening to others I think. Not that I am without compassion but particular people in my life have done that in excess and while I detest being loud because of other's loudness, I resist complaining I guess. Does that make sense?
I truthfully have no trouble admitting I am GREEN w/ envy of able bodied people. I don't know if I don't feel worthy, I used to. I guess not so much anymore.
I am trying so hard, reading Sarno and journaling and reflecting on past assaults. I do not take any offense to what you wrote. On the contrary, I am so appreciative that you care. And that you understand. This is a lonesome syndrome. Thank you all for your input. I need every bit.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2007 : 13:57:31
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quote:
(Penny) The fact that the second you got in your daughter's car, you started feeling pain, begs me to wonder what's up with you and your daughter?
Hold on a moment, Ladybug. When Penny asked what’s up, she meant emotionally – not why were you travelling in her car and not yours. Which brings me back to:
quote:
(HilaryN)
“Victim” thought: “This seat is dreadful, it’s killing my back.”
“Control” thought: (Ladybug, I’ll let you come up with that one. )
Have you come up with one yet?
The point I’m trying to make is that if there is nothing structurally wrong, then the seat shouldn’t matter. It’s just your mind which is making you think the seat is causing your pain.
Not that I’m suggesting you should force yourself into situations you consider cause you pain, because it’s probably still too early for that. But if you find yourself in such a situation, watch out for your thoughts (e.g. “This seat is dreadful, it’s killing my back.”) and try challenging them with a “control” thought, e.g. “My back is hurting because of my emotions – it has nothing to do with this seat”, or, “I know you want to use this seat as an excuse to make my back hurt, but I’m not going to let you!” – “you” being the part of your brain or mind which is making the back hurt. I know it sounds a bit silly, but I hope it makes sense.
Please would you let me know whether it makes sense? Also, I’d welcome your own version of a “control” statement?
If anyone else can find a clearer way of explaining for me, I’d be very grateful.
(Edited post to add: ) Alternatively, as Penny suggests, you could say to yourself, for example, “Hmm, my back’s hurting as soon as I get into my daughter’s car. I wonder what could be causing that? Is it because I resent the fact that she’s putting demands on me that I feel are too much for me?” (End of addition)
quote:
(Ladybug)I think because I am in this mode of "ignore that, work it thru....." that people just don't take into account that even tho I am trying to smile and get on with life, the pain is still there.
It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated because you’d like some acknowledgement and empathy for what you’re going through from those around you?
Hilary N |
Edited by - HilaryN on 06/18/2007 14:06:31 |
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LadyBug
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2007 : 14:31:51
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Hilary, thanks for your post. My daughter is anything but demanding and was trying to do me a favor. Why deosn't my back hurt as much in my own car? Beats me, I have no idea.
Victim - This seat is dreadful, it's killing my back.
Control - Let's ditch this car, get out in the rain and take mine.
If my daughter is guilty of anything it might be lack of empathy. Not because of selfishness but simply that pain is such an individual response and feeling, that no one can experience this like you do.
I know I make a concious effort to NEVER mention "my back hurts" to my granddaughter. I don't want to be known as the Grandma whose back hurts.
I guess you are right, I would like more ( have received some ) acknowledgement and empathy for this awful intrusion upon my life. I feel it has taken from me time that I will never get back. It has caused me to become almost a recluse because there is so much I cannot do. I am sick sick sick of it. And it is exhausting. It is almost all I can do to get thru the day.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished |
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LuvtoSew
USA
327 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2007 : 14:40:23
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Wow- what a good post- I'll have to print it out and read it again. I'm only 2 years in this chronic pain stuff- but it seems like a lifetime and I feel for people that have dealt with me longer than me.
I did make my pain management appoint today, was too late to cancel and about the only thing was it might be nerves from my arthritic c-spine causing my tmj symptoms but want to add and a few facet blocks could diagnose if it was the cause or not: but just wanted to add: He said most of his patients are ones who have already had failed spine surgeries!! also
There was a woman in the waiting room talking to her son and very loudly I might add, going on and on about her pain and her problems, loud enough so everyone could hear, just going on and on about her symptoms- made me feel like she was proud of her pain or deserved a medal for tolerating it- I'm sure the poor lady was in pain but she was sure going to let everyone know how bad it was. I kinda felt for the son. |
Edited by - LuvtoSew on 06/18/2007 15:02:48 |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2007 : 15:18:13
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quote:
Victim - This seat is dreadful, it's killing my back.
Control - Let's ditch this car, get out in the rain and take mine.
Ladybug, that wasn’t really what I was meaning.
I don’t think I’ve explained clearly enough. Your version of the control statement just backs up the victim statement, confirming your belief that it’s the seat causing the pain.
I’ll repeat: if there is nothing structurally wrong, then the seat shouldn’t matter. It’s just your mind which is making you think the seat is causing your pain.
Read through the section on Pavlovian Conditioning in “The Mindbody Prescription” (p.63 in my version – it’s in Chapter 3), starting with:
“One of the most important clinical features of TMS is the tendency for sufferers to develop a specific pattern of pain, including … what activities or postures will bring it on, what things they can and cannot do.
“These are programmed reactions. They develop automatically and unconsciously by association…”
(I recommend you read the whole section.)
Btw does your reluctance to complain pre-date your hearing about TMS? Do you think it’s “goodist” behaviour?
quote:
I guess you are right, I would like more ( have received some ) acknowledgement and empathy for this awful intrusion upon my life.
Could you ask for that? It doesn’t mean complaining, just say something like “I’m feeling really downhearted and lonely about all this. I’d really like it if you could spend some time with me, listening to me, so I can talk about it and get it all off my chest.” (I’m not sure if that’s a good way to word it, perhaps you can come up with something better.)
Hilary N |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2007 : 16:12:41
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quote:
Originally posted by LadyBug
Skiz - How are you doin' these days? It was good to hear from you. I am taking your advice from a few weeks ago and am trying to "Keep On Truckin'.....
 ..not well.. It's nice of you to ask however. |
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You're the one in control, not the pain
