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ombass
USA
5 Posts |
 Posted - 05/16/2007 : 19:27:10
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Hello all,
I have been suffering from massive gut issues for about 3 years now. I essentially get reactions from an endless list of foods: wheat, dairy, all sugars (including fruit and honey), chemicals/additives, molds, peanuts, alcohol, etc etc. This is on top of massive depression, anxiety, etc. I have been told by naturopaths etc that i have like a chronic fatigue / immune suppression type thing going on. But MDs etc have come up with absolutely nothing wrong with me. No blood test or any test has ever indicated something wrong with me. Before i had these issues i had chronic physical pain for 6 years that as soon as it went away i developed the food issues (the symtom imperative?)
I basically live a socially isolated life because every time i try to eat at a restaurant i get a horrible reaction. One sip of alcohol, most coffees, moldy cheeses, etc and i feel like i have been poisoned. It is maddening beyond words!!! People dont realize how much of a part of life food really is.
As extremely real and in my face as these symptoms are, I attribute them to TMS / supressed emotional issues / etc. I have been in a dead end, emotionally abusive relationship for the majority of my adult life. I am out of it now, but my gut has been telling me to get out of it for years. I felt very "under her thumb" as she ruled me with a fiery temper and anger. But I wonder if this was my problem, or if it is more so my mother issues from when i was a child. I had a medical intuitive tell me that my problems are all related to supressed anger towards my mother (and this intuitive has supposedly never been wrong). I do indeed have suppressed anger towards my mother, but she refuses to see a counceller with me, and denies there was ever a problem (total denial).
I have started to undergo psychotherapy, but i dont feel that my therapist is experienced enough to really get to the bottom of my issues. I guess that will remain to be seen, but there are not too many therapists that i know of in the area (or any at all) that know about TMS. I am in the SF Bay Area, CA (I have also seen Bruce Eisenforf in Santa Cruz and attended one of his lectures).
My questions are:
What can i do to help this problem myself? I have read Healing Back Pain and am almost finished with The Divided Mind. I am doing my best to reassure myself that the issues are emotionally related, but just like when pain sufferers are fearful of lifting or physical activity, i am horrified to eat the foods which i react to.
Has anyone else here overcome such issues re: food, the gut, immune system, etc? I remember reading a story somewhere about a similar person who just "plowed through it" and took meds or whatever it took to mask the symptoms, and reassure herself it was TMS. Supposedly that worked for her. The reactions i get are so horrible though, i cant imagine enduring them repeatedly. Maybe i need to get past this?
I have tried to psychoanalyze myself as much as possible, and the therapist i am seeing is the 2nd one ive tried. I have identified emotional pain and issues, but am not really sure what to do with them. Everything from childhood to my relationship, to lack of a father figure to god knows what.
Basically any and all help that could be provided would be very much appreciated!! I am pretty much at the end of my rope, as i have been suffering for-freaking-EVER and need to get better ASAP!
Thank you very much!! |
Edited by - ombass on 05/16/2007 19:41:22 |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 05/16/2007 : 20:31:27
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I feel for you. I think your'e in the right place (tms forums) for your trouble. It seems you are having the symptom imperative for sure since conventional medical can't find anything wrong. Just what can you eat w/out getting sick?
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 05/17/2007 : 04:58:58
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Hi Ombass,
Sounds like you've got a good handle on it, pure TMS. I find relationships to be the most TMS creating factor. They are always there, irritating, restricting our activity, and creating fear and resentment. Sounds like yours ain't so good. Escape it if you can. Pack up and join the French Foreign Legion if you have to.
I've been there and it can be the worst because relationships, (otherwise known as that other person), is such a constant oppressor.
When our psyche's can't take it anymore, we are protected/distracted, by TMS symptoms.
The TMS symptom works as long as it keeps the monkey off our back but then we have to develop new ones, (the symptom imperative), when they no longer do the job of distraction/protection.
I saw Dr. Eisendorf around 2000. He did have a therapist he was working with at the time in Santa Cruz. I saw her once for a double session; we mutually acknowledged me TMS sane at the time. Didn't Dr. Eisendorf have a therapist to refer you to?
He seemed kind of new agey to me and maybe is more into Yogic solutions now. It seems he should have a TMS therapist referal, if there is one in NorCal, since it is part and parcel of the TMS "cure".
There were a several mentioned in SF but I haven't had any personal experience with them or heard of anyone here who has either. You would think in this Vortex of newage thinking of NorCal, with all the shrinks and therapists around, we would have our own Donald Dubin.
You can always go down south to see Dr. Dubin, which I have done, and follow up with phone sessions.
Your GI symptoms and depression are probably TMS, since no structural causes were discovered through testing. Sounds like you are half way home, having discovered the TMS sources for your symptoms. Now you have to DO the hard part, dump the baggage causing it or acceptance of it--fight or flight.
Good Luck,
tt
Some of my favorite excerpts from " THE DIVIDED MIND " :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 05/17/2007 : 14:27:48
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The Center for Creative Growth in Berkeley uses methods that are compatible with TMS work, though I don't think they know about TMS specifically. (At least, the therapist I am working with who uses similar methods didn't.)
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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ombass
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2007 : 11:31:19
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Hi folks,
Thanks for the replies. To answer your questions:
Re: Dr Eisendorf. The only therapist that Dr Eisendorf recommened to me was very rude to me when I tried called him. I talked to him twice on the phone but both times got very turned off. He was short with me, and just didnt seem like a guy i would want to open up to. Maybe i was premature there, but couldnt deny my first impression. He only gave me that therapist though, no females ones or other options. Would be interested to get the info on the therapist you spoke of. Its been a while though since I've seen Dr Eisendorf, so maybe i should go back and talk to him again.
Re: Donald Dubin. I have considered heading down there to see him, especially since i've got some friends there too that i could stay or visit with for a few days. Is he really good? Worth the trip? Its a 6 hour drive each way from where i am (I would probably fly for that matter).
Re: food. I essentially live on veggies, rice, beans, some meats (chicken, beef, shrimp).
Thanks again for the help!
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2007 : 13:34:37
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Hi Ombass and welcome here,
I have a similar problem. My back pain has gone away after using Sarno's methods however, I still have food issues. My skin breaks out horribly when i eat sugar, wheat, dairy or coffee...I am awful on coffee. I really don't know whether this is the symptom imperative but I think it is.
I tried plowing through the problem but always seem to give up and am more comfortable eliminating the foods |
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carbar
USA
227 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2007 : 21:51:14
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Hi Ombass,
Welcome, welcome! Wow, it's great that you recognize that your symptoms are coming from TMS and some unresolved emotions.
>>What can i do to help this problem myself?
Well, you are at a good start by reading the books and identifying some issues about which you have repressed emotions. A next step is starting to uncover those emotions and really *feel* them...cry/rage/etc....maybe journaling if you are not doing this allready. Also, keeping in mind that you might want to look at the emotions wrapped up in your symptoms interferring with normal life. Dealing with chronic discomfort everyday might load up a lot of anger and fear that would be hard to carry without being repressed.
>>I have tried to psychoanalyze myself as much as possible, and the therapist i am seeing is the 2nd one ive tried.
I saw 3 therapists before I found one I liked. It's very frustrating to meet them and not hit it off, but it's been worth it to find someone I can trust who understands TMS. My current therapist isn't a TMS therapist, but is trained in the psychoanalytic tradition. It took about 4 months to really build a good relationship, and it was scary to stick with it and speak up to him about somethings about the therapy that were bothering me, but I'm glad I stuck with it. If you didn't have a good first impression of that guy, I'd def call your doc and ask for another rec.
Welcome and positive vibes to you! |
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ombass
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - 05/29/2007 : 12:39:19
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Suz --
Glad to know its not just me here who is suffering on this level. But like myself, you seem to be "stuck." You try to mind over matter it and eat the foods, but the reactions are so horrible you have to go back to the modified diet.
Cabar--
Thanks for the suggestions and info re: psychotherapists. I guess I need to just "keep on keeping on" and try to find someone who I feel good with and who can help.
I will admit though that I am pretty hopeless at this point :-( I have tried and tried for so long, only to get nowhere. I have read two of Sarno's books and thought AH HA!! so many times and connected deeply with the concepts. But for some reason i still suffer and cannot seem to impliment the concepts into my life on such a level that my health actually improves. I try to stay positive and remind myself that it is all supressed emotions and anger, but the symptoms I experience are so in my face and real, it is very very hard to get past them. Even though i very much connect with and believe the Sarno principles and diagnosis, there is the constant physical reminder I get from my body that something in my gut is WRONG. This is why i had thought it to be psysical for so long, because what i experience is very phsical. I can be feeling great, in a good mood, not negative or angry, and all i have to do it eat the littlest wrong thing, even unknowingly, and next thing you know i am in a tailspin of food reaction(s) that usually sends me home or away from wherever I am.
But at this point I guess i just sound like blah blah blah. At least to myself I do. I have talked about my health to everyone i know, all to no avail. I know the mind / emotional region is the "final frontier" so to speak re: health and healing, but my mind is honestly just FRIED from years and years of constant stress, sadness, depression, anger, unhappiness, suffering, etc. I guess i feel like someone who has been mentally and emotionally tortured, and now is being asked to be mentally and emotionally stong. I feel my mind is weak, so much so that simple things like going to the store, returning a phone call, etc are extremely difficult for me at most times.
So I guess based on me being at such an "end of my rope" so to speak, are there any people that have been at this point, and can offer words of advice or help? Hopelessness is a very scary thing, and I really do not want to feel this way anymore!!
Thank you! |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 05/29/2007 : 15:19:04
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quote:
I can be feeling great, in a good mood, not negative or angry, and all i have to do it eat the littlest wrong thing, even unknowingly, and next thing you know i am in a tailspin of food reaction(s) that usually sends me home or away from wherever I am.
This is the conditioning aspect of TMS. I suspect this is a very difficult one to overcome for food allergies, etc, because the reaction is very immediate and often very visible. But it doesn't mean it is of physical origin.
You might look into the Center for Creative Growth in Berkeley. I'm working with a therapist they suggested on the Peninsula and think she's quite good. She doesn't know about TMS but she does do inner child work, which is a good modality for me.
It sounds like you have rather serious issues to deal with from your past. I think you should stick with therapy, just look for someone who is good for you. There are so many therapists in this area, there must be someone you can work well with.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
Edited by - armchairlinguist on 05/29/2007 15:26:54 |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 05/29/2007 : 21:02:53
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Sounds like your symptoms are related to issues with your folks since you did remove yourself from the abusive relationship and the symptoms persisted.
TMS for me is also about repressed rage with mom so I can relate to your situation. I found it very helpful to express the rage in therapy and I just had a thought that you might want to check this out with your future therapist as to whether that would be considered ok. This was and is crucial to my recovery. I've found this aspect of my recover to be quite challenging since I initially wasn't in a venue where I could really get into the rage and it consequently held back my recovery. Now I obviously don't know if that would be an issue for you but just throwing it out for what its worth. (I should state a warning about expressing the feeling that I am clearly an extreme case of TMS and for most folks it is the understanding that provides the healing.)
My main symptoms are not food allergies but I do have food allergies that have come down dramatically with the rage release work so keep the faith and know that you need to embrace your feelings, accept them and feel them.
Like ACL I also have found the inner child work to be the key to accessing feelings so I would encourage you to look into this method since I believe it is an extremely powerful tool that can be at your disposal. The only caveat would be to not expect instant benefits from it. It's a process and gains momentum with time. |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 05/30/2007 : 12:26:43
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My favorite phrase: Write, write, write. Write about every feeling toward your mother, abuser, yourself (big one!) etc. I have to say that expressing my feelings was my biggest healer, and I was totally incapacitated with TMS pain in my back. Though your mother won't go to therapist with you, still talk about it. About the feelings since she won't go with you! That alone would generate a lot of feelings for me!
Please don't feel hopeless. There IS always hope!
Regarding food allergies, I recently read a textbook called Mind/Body Health, and it talks about many, many symptoms that are likely emotional-related (read=TMS). Allergies in general is one of them.
Best of luck! Don't give up!-Lori |
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Gut issues-food allergies/sensitivities, CFS/CFIDS
