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Erin S.
USA
3 Posts |
 Posted - 10/21/2004 : 20:30:26
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| Hi all, my name is Erin. I'm 19 years old (yes, possibly the youngest of all of you) I was recently diagnosed with TMS by a doctor in New Jersey, read Sarno's books daily, and review a list of possible repressed emotions my unconscious may be harboring (as told to do by my doctor) Although I am new to the process, I am experiencing trouble. I am in constant pain, and my doctor has told me to ignore it and just look at the list throughout the day and read at night..I fully believe the TMS diagnosis and completely understand the process and its manifestations. Is this all one really needs to do to be "cured"? Any helpful suggestions are greatly appreciated. Just having people with similiar situations is encouraging. |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 10/21/2004 : 21:28:57
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Hi Erin,
Welcome to the forum. You are lucky you have discovered that TMS is the cause of your pain so early in your life, and you have a doc to support you :-) You are in good hands! Now that I understand TMS, I can trace the start of my back pain back 30 years to when I was your age.
It might help if you stop fighting the pain, accept it, and continue to do your TMS homework like you are already doing. Fighting the pain was part of the problem that I had to overcome, I was so angry about being in pain, I finally embraced it, let it hurt, and got on with my life. The relief may come slowly, but you will overcome.
Take care, -Stryder |
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Erin S.
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - 10/22/2004 : 07:40:23
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Thanks for the advice, Stryder. I guess I am lucky that i have discovered TMS early, but I wish i was like every other 19 yr old and pain free :( haha, but i guess life doesnt work that way. And you are right, I have been fighting the pain, been to every doctor to make it just GO AWAY. And now that I have TMS, i want to be able to make it just GO AWAY. When you say "embrace the pain", what exactly do you mean? And how did you come to that point?
Thanks,
Erin |
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Kavita
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - 10/22/2004 : 08:23:05
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Hi Erin,
I think I'm in a similar situation as yourself. Apparently becoming aware of your repressed anger and that the anger is the cause of your anxiety and therefore TMS is enough for the cure. I have been in your place, and I found that as much as I thought I believed the diagnosis, I still had lingering doubts. I would highly recommend the book Back Sense, as it presents the case for stress as a cause for chronic back pain in a much more believable manner. At least this is my opinion. Back sense is just presented the case in a way that makes TMS much more plausible, and therefore helped me to truly accept that stress is causing and perpetuating my pain.
Back Sense explains that we should accept the fact that we are in pain, and not worry about trying to reduce it, for that just makes us more stressed, more tense, and perpetuates more pain. I say to myself, it hurts - so what? By allowing yourself to be OK with the pain, there is now an opportunity to reduce the anxiety that continues it. I have just discovered this technique, so I'll let you know. I will admit that it was a relief to have someone acknowledge that he understands we are in great pain, and that feeling that way is OK!
If we say "So What!" to the pain, then, like Sarno says, our body's TMS defense, has become useless. I hope this helps.
Stryder - you are right on the money! |
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Zshapiro32
USA
31 Posts |
Posted - 10/22/2004 : 15:36:05
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Hi Erin,
You are not alone. I had my first TMS attack when I was 19 too, I'm 24 now. I spent a lot of time dwelling on it. I called myself "Mr. Glass", I felt so weak and fragile. I just wanted to be a normal 19 year old, but eventually it got better. I refused to consider myself injured. After a while, I stopped telling people that I was in pain.
With me, TMS took time. I never had one an overnight cure. It just took a lot of time and dedication. Often I wanted to quit and I'd be close, but I pushed through. You ahve to keep at it, don't let your pain deter you from doing the things you love and it will go away, it just takes time.
quote:
Originally posted by Erin S.
Thanks for the advice, Stryder. I guess I am lucky that i have discovered TMS early, but I wish i was like every other 19 yr old and pain free :( haha, but i guess life doesnt work that way. And you are right, I have been fighting the pain, been to every doctor to make it just GO AWAY. And now that I have TMS, i want to be able to make it just GO AWAY. When you say "embrace the pain", what exactly do you mean? And how did you come to that point?
Thanks,
Erin
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 10/22/2004 : 15:58:49
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quote:
Originally posted by Erin S.
When you say "embrace the pain", what exactly do you mean? And how did you come to that point?
Hi Erin,
I got to that point during one of many (wrongly prescribed) "complete bed rest on your back for 4 days" sessions. Obviously I don't buy into that any more. But at the time, while I was lying flat on my back cursing myself for being "broken", in extreme pain, I at one point said "This really hurts, there is nothing I can do, hurt me! Go ahead, I don't care any more, I'm tired of fighting you I give up hurt me more". Sounds kind of extreme, I was not fighting the pain in my mind any more, so now I had a bit more 'energy' to just live with the pain.
It didn't really help me get better, but I was no longer at war with my own mind. It was a first step!! At the time I was not Sarno-enabled.
Many years later, when I learned about my TMS, so many things in my past started to make sense. It took over a year for me to get 95% better.
This forum here has been a great support group. Last weekend I was lifting/mixing heavy bags of concrete, pouring cement, digging hundreds of pounds of dirt by shovel. I'm not longer afraid that I will "reinjure" myself.
Accept in your mind that there may not be a quick fix for this for you. Accept that it will take time. Work your TMS as you are already doing.
Don't blame yourself, Erin, ITS NOT YOUR FAULT !!
Take care, -Stryder |
Edited by - Stryder on 10/22/2004 20:52:25 |
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Erin S.
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - 10/24/2004 : 09:26:46
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Hi guys,
Thanks so much for replying to my posts :) Sometimes I feel that by doing the TMS work, by reading allt he time and studying my list, it just makes me focus more on my pain problems.. instead of just going out and doing things or relaxing with my family, i put the pressure on myself to "better go do your TMS work or you won't get better" - i guess that is my personality showing through.. Sometimes I just feel like, okay the pain is all psychological and if I just look at it that way, it will eventually go away. Is it a bad thing to not read and constantly look at my lists all the time if it is causing me additional stress?
Thanks,
Erin |
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Susie
USA
319 Posts |
Posted - 10/24/2004 : 13:56:43
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| Erin-no it is not bad to not constantly focus on the literature. I think the main thing is to read it enough until you have a good understanding of the tms theory so that thinking psychological is simply second nature. Then go on about your life. Being busy with work and other projects has always helped me. If I have something else to think about beside myself, I seem to have fewer symptoms. My symptoms are generally brought on by the same triggers which are becoming very familiar to me. I think the two biggest factors in my improvement were getting past the fear and noticing myself falling for the same tms triggers. Everyone is different and are not bothered by the same things. Think about what sets your symptoms off and address it. You were very lucky to find a tms doctor so early in the game. |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 10/25/2004 : 22:29:27
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quote:
Originally posted by Erin S.
Is it a bad thing to not read and constantly look at my lists all the time if it is causing me additional stress?
Hi Erin,
You have a vaild concern, I have thought about that myself.
They key is you have to make Sarno's concepts second nature, automatic in order to defeat TMS. At first that means staying on top of your journaling and re-reading until you turn the corner and can recognize a TMS situation brewing and head it off at the pass. Yes, I know, you are frustrated that improvement is not coming faster, but keep the faith and you will overcome :-) Take care, -Stryder |
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Michele
249 Posts |
Posted - 10/26/2004 : 08:00:55
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Hi Erin,
How I wish I had found TMS when I was 19! Hopefully you won't suffer like the rest of us!
I just finished reading Fred Amir's book, Rapid Recovery from Back and Neck Pain. http://www.rapidrecovery.net/ I discovered Sarno's book and the TMS theory in early August and my mind and body are so stubborn, it has taken this long for the conditioning to start changing. Over the weekend I used some of Amir's techniques - I got MAD at the pain. I clenched my fists, stomped my feet and said, "I'm not going to take the pain anymore!" Ooh, it felt good!  Every night before I go to sleep I clench my fists, close my eyes and say several times, "There is no more pain - I will NOT allow it!" That hurt child in me is expressing alot of anger, getting it out of my body, and the last few days have been great. I ran 3 miles on Saturday, and 2.5 miles on Monday! I'm a marathon runner, and I stopped running in May due to hip pain. Amir has some other techniques that you might be interested in.
Good luck! |
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 10/29/2004 : 14:43:25
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Michele,
I am very interested in your recommendation of Amir's book. Does he really stick to the Sarno method? I am hoping he has practical suggestions which will help my psychological approach. If you only started the Sarno process in August - that is not really that long - only a couple of months. How long have you had the pain for? I went to see Sarno in May and I am experiencing a new location of pain and far worse - seems to really be fighting to stop. I had the pain for 12 years and I also have stomach problems and acid reflux - I think I might be a more extreme case because it has taken so long to get to this point.
Suz |
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Carol
91 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2004 : 14:30:24
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Hi Erin.
Welcome to the possibly youngest from the possibly oldest. I am 65 and have had TMS and equivalents since my teans. I have always recognized my pains and other problems (allergies, reflux, vertigo, and migraines) as stress related, but did not discover Sarno until five years ago, when I started to have hip pain. It was originally diagnosed as trochanter tendonitis, then a helpful physical therapist told me he believed that my real problem was in my back. That was due to the "wrong ways" that I walked, stood, and sat. Sure enough, within two weeks the hip pain was gone and I had back pain. Does this sound suspicious? At that point I started researching back pain and found Dr. Sarno's books.
I wish I could tell you that I am now pain free, but that is not the case. I am much improved though, and functionally I am 100% back where I was before the back pain started. I was able to see a TMS doc, (Dr. Sopher). When several months after my diagnosis I was still in significant pain he told me that my age was a negative factor. I do believe he may be right. I have been supressing and internalizing my emotions, especially anger, since I was a little kid. I was taught very young that anger wasn't an acceptable emotion to express, so I learned to swallow it. I stuff it into my body. Sometimes I am even conscious of doing it.
I think that you are very lucky to have learned about this at such a young age. You should be able to beat it. Believe me, it is very real! I can now feel the reaction in my body when I get mad, and often stop it. My conditioning is that the pain is worst when I lay down in my comfy bed. I have learned to consciously relax my body one part a time, and the pain soon diminishes to nearly nothing.
I wish you the best of luck. You will find many helpful people on this message board. Stay with us and let us know how you are doing.
Carol |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 11/01/2004 : 08:35:36
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Good post Carol. What most caught my attention in it was the comment by Dr. Sopher to you that your age might play a factor in your full recovery. It may but I believe the good thing about TMS is that it is our minds that control our physiology. I don't think 65 is very old. I'm shooting for 100 and still playing tennis. There's a senior player near me, Ken Beer, who is 102 and still playing tournaments. With the "good" aspects of modern medicine and nutrition, many years have been added to the the average life-span.
Like you, my original chiro DX was back pain, L-4/L-5. When my pain persisted for several years and had "official" x-rays my pain was DX'ed as "significant arthritis" of the hip. Sure enough, my pain has settled downward into my hip's mind eye.
In recent months I have been able to make a significant shift in my thinking. I have been able to forget the image of cartlege being worn away with each painful stride and substitute it for the image of my butt region being tight due to TMS causing slight oxygen deprivation-the legendary "tight-ass". What I learned about arthritis during Arthritis Week at the Fat Farm, was that, it's a catch all term for over 100 different conditions. They don't know what causes it, how to treat it, or how to cure it-just manage it. This lead me to believe that it is all TMS.
With TMS thinking I have been able to gradually improve my gait to being a good club tennis player and a budding tournament player. I also have an excellent coach who teaches me correct technique.
Carol, I was wondering if Dr. Sopher's comment about age may have implanted some unduly negative imaging into your brain that is hampering your progress? What activities is your TMS limiting you from doing fully? Years ago I had excruciating pain in bed but I now look forward to lying in bed.
The good thing about my tennis is that I play in the Senior Age Group tournaments. There is only a five year age span in each division. Everyone in the age catagory has been fighting gravity for about the same amount of time. You don't have to try competing against some 25 year old who just got off the college tennis team. The players in the seniors are really good but they all seem to have a bandage on some body part. It's a level playing field pretty much age wise. |
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Carol
91 Posts |
Posted - 11/01/2004 : 16:56:28
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Hi TT. There really isn't anything that I can't do anymore. It took me 5 years of gradually increasing activities, but now I am 100% back. I hike, climb (I did my first 4000 footer last year), kayak, ride a mountain bike, and as of last winter my final hurdle, working out at a club, was mastered. I also cross country ski and snowshoe in the winter. I teach snowshoeing for the local Audubon Center in the winter. So you see, I am no longer physically limited at all.
I do think you have a very good point about Dr. sopher planting a negative image in my mind about my age. After all, he never told me I couldn't do whatever I wanted, just that I might keep on hurting while I did those things. That has turned out to be exactly the case. I also had the idea planted in my mind by another doctor that the pain would worsen in the winter, and sure enough it does. Although I know these things rationally, they are apparently planted deep inside my phyche. Each winter I have to battle the prophecy anew before the pain level goes back to its usual level. Any suggestions for beating these self defeating (subconscious?) beliefs?
One of the things that Dr. Sarno calls enraging is aging, and I agree with this whole-heartedly. I get so angry and frustrated at memory problems, issues like long term care insurance, and having to work so hard just to keep even in terms of muscle tone and mass. Maybe it was no coincidence that this started when I decided to retire due to some family issues.
Carol |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 11/01/2004 : 19:20:56
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Carol,
Thanks for that reply it clarified things very well. It sounds like you are doing everything you want to and very well to boot. It sounds to me like you are in the 99% of your age group physically.
As far as the AGE issue-WHAT CHOICE DO WE HAVE? I hsve a lady tennis buddy whose husband died on the golf course in the peak of health, at the age of 52 from a heart attack. I'm 56, I try to appreciate every day I have even if I have some discomfort.
I've been examined by a lot of docs and played tennis with a lot of them too. Most of them are not in that great a shape. I bet you are in better shape than the docs you see too. Maybe you know more about sports and athleticism than they do. Don't always believe everthing they tell you especially about athletic performance because more than likely they haven't been their themsleves.
Forget about that winter cold stuff. Dress for the temperature and let your joints warm-up. Get that negative image out of your mind. You being a cross-country skier and snow-shoe instructor see people active in cold temps all the time. JUST DO IT!
My tip would be give it a chance. As we get older the only thing I think we need to do is warm-up the joints just a little longer. I call it getting the juices going. It takes me about ten minutes to break a sweat and visualize the synovial fluid, created by the bursas of the joints, bathing my hip joint in lubricating juice. If my right hip is in a TMS induced spasm, I don't think the bursas can secrete synovial fluid. I have heard that the bursas in the joints can be regrown even if they are removed. I'm not sure if I have that right but I would like to believe it.
Coincidentaly, Carol, I just returned from a run where my right TMS hip felt 100% for the first time in years while jogging. My run didn't start that way. It began with my leg feeling weak, like it wanted to collapse. I knew better and dismissed the thought as the TMS gremlin and said to myself just keep going for ten minutes and see what happens. Sure enough, it paid off and after ten minutes it never felt better-A BREAKTHROUGH. The only thing that made me stop was the weight I've gained do to not jogging regularly like I did in the good old days. I've taken run/walks recently about once every week or two and this was the best one yet. I am slowly rebuilding my confidence in my ability to run and re-conditioning my self. I'm really encouraged.
Carol, get the negative images out of your psyche and just give it a chance. At least ten minutes, as slow as you can, and then SLOWER. Do like Walt Stack, the founder of the DSE Running Club (SF), used to say: "START SLOW AND TAPER OFF".
Good luck, hope this helps,
tt |
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Carol
91 Posts |
Posted - 11/02/2004 : 18:28:03
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You sure are an inspiration! How old are you? My husband's business partner is in his 80s and still plays tennis. Last year he had some hip pain and was told that he would need a hip replacement. He decided he wasn't ready yet and let it go. This year he feels 90% better and has decided that the doctors are nuts! And he has never heard of Sarno!
I am trying to overcome the negative images in my head, and sometimes I do succeed. I recently lost a friend, 55 years old, who dropped dead of a heart attack just after retiring. Yes - I enjoy life no matter how much pain I might have. Interestingly for my age, I have no painful joints. All my problem areas are either muscles or tendons. I have arthritic knukles, but they don't hurt! My pain moves from back to abdomen, hips, achilles tendon, and occasionally my neck. Every so often, when I am not paying enough attention, something else hurts.
Anyway, I think that if you find out about TMS when you are young and know the trick to defeating it you will be ahead of the game. As for me, I have a great life in spite of it! I am very physically fit, and always have been. The worst thing for me, as for most everyone who had this tendency, is the fear of losing physical function. Most of us seem to be at least somewhat physically active, and for most of us it is an important way to burn off stress and tension.
Carol |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 11/03/2004 : 06:58:35
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Thanks Carol, I'm 56. Regarding hip replacements, I don't know anyone who stops with just one. Within a year or two they get the second one done. The problem is, they they don't continuously regenerate new tissue, in the form of replacement cells, or RECOVER FROM TMS! Once the ceramic and titanium wear down, you have to replace the prosthetic parts like, shock absorbers and brakes on a car. As we age, we become less likely to be good candidates for surgery. The rigors of undergoing anesthesia amd recovering from surgery are more difficult at 70 and 80, then they are at 60. Not to mention the pre and post op PT which plays a big role in the sucess or failure of the operations.
I've often suspected that the pre and post op PT is what really does the healing and the prosthetis may be irrelevant. I don't think the med/industrial complex has the courrage to do a study of placebo surgeries. Do a study, doing everthing the same: the pre-op PT, anethesia, incision, sutures, morphine, percodan and post-op PT. Two groups, except, one with, and one without, the new parts, and see if there's any difference. I've often heard the operation was a success but the results failed due to improper PT afterwards. I suspect the PT may be more important than the new parts.
I have a tennis acquaintance, who was scheduled for hip replacement and his surgeon died the day before. The new doc, who picked up the pieces, examined him and said he didn't need the new hip and put him on PT. Last time I saw him he was jogging by the club and doing pool walking.
I fix up old cars and have always found that original equipment parts are always superior to replacements. |
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Logan1
2 Posts |
Posted - 11/04/2004 : 16:28:38
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Erin,
I just wanted to say welcome to the board and to encourage you not to give up or to get too frustrated if it takes some time for you to become pain free. You are definitely at an advantage, discovering Sarno now before you become accustomed to living in pain or before a series of medical and quasi-medical people condition you to accept it as "real" or inevitable. Your body is young and healthy and strong, so is your mind and your emotions - that's what is causing the pain, but luckily, that is also the source of your healing.
Our society has such a taboo about expressing anger, especially if you're a young woman, and so we learn to stuff it before we even really feel it. The same goes for sadness. I think that being a girl, especially an oldest daughter who wants to please her parents, we internalize the message that anger or sadness is "bad" so we feel guilty about having these emotions and that generates the need to suppress or repress them - you know, all the stuff that Sarno says in his books, it's true.
What I found to be the biggest help in getting well was just paying attention to how I was feeling vs. how I was "supposed" to feel AND reading Facing the Fire by John Lee. A lot of people on the board have read it and can recommend it too. Try the "silly" exercises and see if they don't help you.
I find that beating the heck out of my couch with a miniature baseball bat while thinking of stuff that makes me mad, works wonders. I only have to do it every few weeks for it to keep me feeling fine. I am PAIN FREE, but every once in awhile I'll have an ache or a cramp or something and I just sort of laugh at it in my mind, like "are you kidding me, I'm not scared of you because i know you're TMS." It goes away.
When I first started to get well, if I did feel scared about a twinge, I'd get mad instead and yell and swear at the "pain" and tell it exactly what I thought it could go do... it helped too. Also, don't be afraid to have a good cry for "no good reason" every now and again. Basically, we TMS-ers just have to remember what every two year old knows how to do - throw an occassional tantrum and cry, cry , cry until you get it out of your system then forget it and go play and have some fun. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 11/04/2004 : 18:35:13
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Excellent post Logan1! I'm going to get John Lee's book. I think I need to find more physical exercises to release the build-up of emotional tensions. I like the idea of the miniature baseball bat. I have one of those; now I just have to find an object to whack away at  . |
Edited by - tennis tom on 11/04/2004 18:38:43 |
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Fox
USA
496 Posts |
Posted - 11/05/2004 : 13:46:41
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| As I've posted before, you just can't beat punching and/or kicking a heavy bag to let out built-up anger and to relieve pain (it does wonders for my sciatica)....And I agree, the John Lee book was great. |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2006 : 16:51:53
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I was going back through some old posts and ran across this one from Erin S.
Now I'm wondering, is Erin S cured (a silent success story)? She posted only 3 times, an we never heard back from her.
She seemed to be in some distress at the time...
...Although I am new to the process, I am experiencing trouble. I am in constant pain,,,
You would think that if she was still having trouble she might have posted back at least once.
Hey Erin S., are you out there? How are you doing??
Take care, -Stryder |
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