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PeterW
Canada
102 Posts |
 Posted - 11/18/2006 : 19:56:13
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quote:
In my not very humble opinion, this idea of accepting negative thoughts is a misunderstanding. It's the negative FEELINGS that need to be accepted. Sometimes the only way to access them is through the thoughts they are attached to. But once you get into the feeling, it's essential to CHANGE THE THOUGHT, because thinking it more DOES create more of it.
I've seen so many people make this mistake. "Oh, I'm just accepting that I will never get better." "You need to surrender to the "reality" that you are ill."
It's b****t. Those are just depressed, limited beliefs. DON'T SURRENDER TO THOSE!! The thing to surrender to is the FEELINGS that holding those beliefs for lifetimes has created, as habitual energy patterns that are so painful you have created symptoms to avoid them.
Wow, this is powerful stuff. A part of the puzzle why so many folks struggle so much with getting rid of TMS symptoms?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but in a nutshell you're saying that with severe and debilitating symptoms that just dont go away like they're supposed to, we may start thinking and fearing that we'll never get rid of them, that we're stuck living in this compromised way for ever. And the feelings that result from those spiralling negative thoughts and fears can be so scary and painful we have to repress them, which is exactly what perpetuates the symptoms.
Or . . . the purpose of the pain is to distract us from those stagnating and horrible feelings that can and do result from us running that endless loop of negative thoughts through our head ("Bloody pain, cant do this, cant be that, I'll never get better" etc ). Think about how angry we must feel inside with that tape playing all day for months/years in our head.
Talk about a negative spiral into hell . . .
It's a slightly different take on Sarno/TMS, but really rings with me. I've always known at a gut level that a large portion of my rage reservoir was directly and indirectly related to having to live a compromised life, constantly dealing with debilitating fatigue or pain for so many years, destroying relationships, careers, and self esteem in the process. And the fear that it all seemed unrelenting, unfixable, and it made me even more 'not good enough'. Definately a core, defining issue for me. So upon discovering Sarno it made sense to me to acknowledge that living with severe symptoms could itself be the source of much rage, but I found that the more I thought about that (as a source of rage) of course the worse I got.
Clearly separating the thoughts from the feelings helps put it into perspective though. At least to me. Embrace the feelings, but change the thoughts. Thanks Wavy Soul.
I should clarify that I only discovered Sarno after 18 years of living like this, so I had accumulated a lot of negative energy concerning my body and its seeming inability to heal. After 18 months, I'm still a work in progress with localized pain area, but the CFS I had for 16 years has pretty much disappeared by now (big victory)!
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kevin t
USA
72 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2006 : 14:39:54
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| Im with Peter. Much of my rage is the fact that I lost so much in the course of TMS. Relationships, career, life goals,and so on ,and so on. And the rage sometimes is the fact I seem to hurt in so many different places at once. The pain alone can make you want to shoot someone or bash someones face in for even talking to you. My rage has become borderline savage and I know it. If I feel this consciously,then imagine what lies in the unconscious. Yes.... a psychopathic pain filled murdering monster whos trying to get out. After years of this TOTAL AND COMPLETE LIFE WRECKING GARBAGE one tends to be "a tad miffed at life". Has anyone ever found that in the course of TMS work some of the RAGE comes to the surface more defined and you just want to smash everything you see with a bat? I think Im venting. Anyways, Im glad that there are people that know this level of pain like myself. It takes BALLZZZZ(or ovaries for the ladies) to deal with chronic pain. Even Dr Sarno says that this is the MOST painful syndrome that he has seen in medicine. No arguments from me Dr. Sarno. There are no "wussies" here as far as Im concerned. |
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Redsandro
Netherlands
217 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2006 : 18:25:24
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I am angry about a lot of things but I always focussed the pain anger on my self, making me not want to punch others in the face for that particular reason. I do for them being dumb ignorant intolerant foddermuckers, but that's beside the point.
About the TMSsers being intelligent thing, when I was walking home tonight I thought, if every person is equal, what if being dumb and ignorant is a manifestation of TMS? They probably wouldn't comprehend the explanation and still be irritating, making us have to kill them anyway so that don't make a difference, but the thought makes me feel less angry and more understanding.. though I know I can't keep this thought up for more then a day :P
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Do not base your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 11/22/2006 : 00:25:20
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Yeah...
I spent 30 years with migrating symptoms which were hellish. So a lot of my beliefs have come to be ABOUT THAT. It takes a bit of peeling of the onion.
Today in therapy I was making myself stop focusing on the recent reiterations and go back to the original. For example, there is a woman ex-friend who treated me horribly. I always knew that she activated my sister stuff. But the recent real-life abuse by her was so intense and had such a big effect on my life that I kept focusing on her. Then, while I was on this forum awake in the middle of the night last night, I heard that computer sound and looked and saw that I had got an e-mail from my sister in England. Nasty. Snippy. Disapproving. Jealous.
I thought to myself, Ouch, go back to the forum. Then I thought, NO! Even though I almost never think about her, haven't seen much of her in 40 years, my original feelings about her were the source of all this stuff with this other woman. So I went to my computer journal and wrote a really pissy letter. And I sent her a very mildly pissy response - which as a goodist I have almost NEVER done my whole life in spite of almost all her communications being mean my whole life. I somehow believed that if I just stayed loving, I would eventually get her love. Same with this other woman.
My sister sent back a moderately apologetic one-line note.
I felt as though I had uncovered in myself one of those jewels.
Because these things are jewels. If we do that thing I was talking about earlier about feeling the feelings and changing the beliefs, the actual feeling of the feeling turns the whole mass into energy that can then support my new belief. For example in the case of my sister thing... I felt how angry I was and am at her on a deep level. I growled and just felt it. Instead of holding the belief "feeling this is hopeless, she will never change," I consciously noticed that belief was there. I changed it to "it's good to feel this, and it doesn't matter what she does, it's my feeling."
I felt so much better. In fact it was a bit of a breakthrough when I continued with my sister stuff with my therapist. Doesn't mean that anything about my sister "means" anything about my life, in this case. There isn't a particular choice or change I have to make except for being more authentic internally - which will lead to whatever it leads to over time with her.
blah blah, bedtime
xx
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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O.C.D. and TMS equation
