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ktulu
14 Posts |
 Posted - 07/08/2006 : 00:01:40
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I am a compulsive worrier who thinks of the worst when I feel a pain symptom. I always get my episodes of pain after a vigorous physical activity or a slip or fall, usually I get up thinking "oh my gosh, I broke my neck.". When I discovered Sarno's book 3 years ago I was able to ward off my lower back pain, but when I fell on my neck last year during physical activity, I had pain for months. The doctors found nothing wrong in the x ray or MRI but I feel like there is something physically wrong with my neck since it hasn't fully healed, although I did have pain up and down my shoulder blade from it that mainly went away. Now 2 weeks ago I started doing some strengthening exercises in preparation to return to wrestling and I'm getting bad headaches that seem to be originating from my neck muscles. I feel like my neck never healed and there's something physically wrong with my muscles.
If I discovered TMS 3 years ago, I thought that I wouldn't be getting such a bad episode again after my low back pain disappeared. I want to believe this is TMS, after all I fit into all the criteria (perfectionist, goodist, and I've been battling with anxiety and depression for a while). I mean maybe I haven't fully found my trigger point, but I continue to journal and try to think about my emotions and re-read Sarno's books. I'm trying to figure this out, and I feel like I'm at the end of my road as I'm growing more and more depressed that I can't partake in my favorite sport, wrestling. Any advice is much appreciated. |
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redskater
USA
81 Posts |
Posted - 07/08/2006 : 08:56:40
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I don't believe that we ever completely banish the gremlin, I think once your brain has discovered a way to distract you, it will possibly try again in the future, maybe for no other reason than it can if we let it. It's quite possible that you did injure some muscles or tendons that don't show up on x-rays. But the good news is it's nothing serious or it would have shown up. I think your brain has probably found another way to distract you. I'm not sure I believe that it always has to be the inner child and things from the past that cause it to come back. I would still think psychological and searce for what could be the reason, even if you never discover it, that's the way to banish it, that and getting back to the physical. I took a bad fall on the ice the other day, could barely walk when I got home and thought this could be a perfect opening for tms to settle back in. I decided not to let it. i woke up the next day without the slightist bit of pain. It proved to me that the mind is a lot more powerful than we give it credit for.
Gaye |
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ktulu
14 Posts |
Posted - 07/08/2006 : 09:57:47
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| Thanks. I was just wondering if physical therapy is ever necessary? I was wondering because I was sure I injured (sore muscles or something) myself partially and that the muscles needed time to rebuild itself, but I was wondering if I needed physical therapy to rebuild the muscles. I ask this because it has been a year ago and I started doing some physical therapy exercises for the first time and now I got this episode of pain that has been screwing me up physically and emotionally. I'd do anything to return to physical activity without fear that I'd wake up the next day with more pain. |
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wrldtrv
666 Posts |
Posted - 07/08/2006 : 23:11:56
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Ktulu,
I can see me everywhere in your posts. Compulsive worrier, anx/depr, chronic worry about physical symptoms, ambivalance about TMS theory...
It certainly is not easy to ignore physical symptoms, espec ones that SEEM so physical. I can tell you this: I've been trying very hard over the past several months to do just that; ignore my brain's constant warning to worry, because something terrible is surely the matter. It hasn't been easy. The most concrete step I have taken is to refrain from going to doctors or look up symptoms on the internet. That is a big help, but it doesn't stop the constant worry about physical symptoms. For me, I think the worry is more comprehensive. It is worry about the physical, but also everything else that is not going well in my life. For me, I think the physical symptoms are a stand in, a manifestation of the psychological issues that have not been dealt with. The evidence is that these symptoms have been occurring much more frequently and more severely in recent years at the same time unresolved and repressed psychological and real life issues have forced themselves to the surface.
As for your current situation, I would say this: You have already gone the medical route and found nothing. Your headaches started after doing neck strenghening exercises. Could you have overdone it?
Maybe back off for a while and try again, but much more gently. I don't think it is a good idea to force yourself to push through that kind of pain.
I also know how hard it is to back off exercise, espec something you love. I feel that way every time I have to lay off running. Fortunately, I can get much of the same feeling from other sports if I have to. Maybe take a break from the wrestling for a while and try something else and then gradually easy back into it. My nephew has been wrestling for years and often gets shoulder, back or other injuries, some lasting a long time. Good luck. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 00:56:46
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Wrldtrv,
I cannot even express in words how much your reply resonated with me...I could have used hearing it when I was still right in the middle of feeling that what I am dealing with must have a physical component to it...I am still worried, I must admit..BUt I am trying my absolute hardest after all the wonderful feedback here to think PSYCHOLOGICAL only..even though I previously had tests (MRI's) that did show physical issues, ie..herniated discs, misalignments, whatever...It is just comforting to me to read what you wrote...ANd I am sure it will help ktulu a great deal too...For me, I am afraid that until I can move my neck more and resume a more 'normal' life like driving again, etc...I will be a little concerned that the doctors might have had a point in what they thought..I hate to even say this, because, quite frankly...I do want it to be TMS...ANd that is how I am going to treat it...Just feels good to be able to voice the last bit of lingering doubts that I have...
~Karen |
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Indy
Canada
45 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 05:17:14
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Wrldtry
Again, I like the way you think and express yourself; your writing demonstrates holistic understanding of the connection between the mind, body, repressed emotions, and dis-ease.
quote:
I think the physical symptoms are a stand in, a manifestation of the psychological issues that have not been dealt with. The evidence is that these symptoms have been occurring much more frequently and more severely in recent years at the same time unresolved and repressed psychological and real life issues have forced themselves to the surface.
This is a huge insightful statement. The closer we get to understanding and healing the deeper emotional issues, the harder the mind fights to protect us from the truth by creating pain. Knowing this not only gives you "the hammer" for doing something about it but also gives you clarity during those difficult times instead of confusion. Congrats!
Many blessings
Indy
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PeterW
Canada
102 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 08:39:01
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" The closer we get to understanding and healing the deeper emotional issues, the harder the mind fights to protect us from the truth by creating pain".
Hi Indy,
Sounds like you're saying the mind is really creating pain to protect itself from itself, in a sense. And the more desperate the mind becomes, the more severe the pain. Which of course is consistant with what Doc Sarno is getting at.
Dont know if this is part of the official theory, but it sounds like the people who are naturally thoughtful and introspective will be more succeptible to developing chronic pain or equivalents in the first place, as they're more likely to spend tons of energy trying to understand truth, and from every possible angle. The mind then has to do so much more to protect itself. I know I have spent a lifetime trying to sort fact from fiction, first with the crazy external world, then with my symptoms and syndromes, now internally. Of course if we never worried about any of this stuff in the first place, we probably wouldn't have developed all these symptoms that we now obsess over.
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Indy
Canada
45 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 12:41:05
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Hi PeterW
quote:
people who are naturally thoughtful and introspective will be more succeptible to developing chronic pain or equivalents in the first place...Of course if we never worried about any of this stuff in the first place, we probably wouldn't have developed all these symptoms that we now obsess over.
A very insightful thought. Here's a probable insightful formula: The more we stay in our heads, the less we feel and express our emotions, the more negative emotional energy is repressed in the body, the more tension and oxygen deprivation our bodies experience, and the higher the probability of pain. I'm getting pain just "thinking" about it.
I "think" the key word here is "obsess". It's hard not to "obsess" over pain because the pain keeps your awareness on the pain itself creating a vicious cycle. I said recently to a client who was having huge TMS/emotional drama "Do one thing each day to bring you joy. It doesn't matter what it is or for how long you do it. This helps keep your life balanced." She told me later that the remark brought her out of the "mud and the mire" of the drama she was going through.
Nice to hear from you again.
Many blessings
Indy |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 12:43:33
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Peter and Indy,
Loved what you both had to say...You are inspiring me to get well! Thank you for that!!!!
Hugs,
Karen |
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ktulu
14 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 14:03:34
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quote:
Originally posted by Indy
Hi PeterW
quote:
people who are naturally thoughtful and introspective will be more succeptible to developing chronic pain or equivalents in the first place...Of course if we never worried about any of this stuff in the first place, we probably wouldn't have developed all these symptoms that we now obsess over.
A very insightful thought. Here's a probable insightful formula: The more we stay in our heads, the less we feel and express our emotions, the more negative emotional energy is repressed in the body, the more tension and oxygen deprivation our bodies experience, and the higher the probability of pain. I'm getting pain just "thinking" about it.
I "think" the key word here is "obsess". It's hard not to "obsess" over pain because the pain keeps your awareness on the pain itself creating a vicious cycle. I said recently to a client who was having huge TMS/emotional drama "Do one thing each day to bring you joy. It doesn't matter what it is or for how long you do it. This helps keep your life balanced." She told me later that the remark brought her out of the "mud and the mire" of the drama she was going through.
Nice to hear from you again.
Many blessings
Indy
That puts things into perspective quite a bit. I've always been the type of person who questions everything, who lists all possible problems with a situation before coming to a "good" conclusion. I've found myself to point out everything wrong with a potential mate before focusing on the good.
It's weird because I always seem to find myself criticizing people when they make decisions instinctively or they do what feels right before thinking about it. While I still remain loyal to thinking stuff over before doing something that could obviously remain stupid, it seems as if I'd be doing a lot more living and enjoying a lot more of life, not to mention enjoying it with a lot less pain, if I were to just feel something than to rationalize it. |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 17:06:09
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Ktulu,
One thing I've been doing of late that you might find helps you, is been thinking of life as just a game. I mean really just think of it as a game. If I do this I'll get this outcome or that gives me another outcome, but either way, I'll have more options after that. They're not good or bad, just different. At the end of the day does it really matter??? LIFE IS JUST A CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE BOOK! I was the same, I used to worry about all sorts of things. I even used to worry about how many kilometers I drove in my car cause I would loose money on it. Yeah I used to worry about money heaps, among other things. I'm aware of money these days, but I don't worry about it. I see things as just a game, I'll do my best to get my life in order and that's the best I can do. No point worrying about it. I once read a quote by Rupert Murdoch. He was something like a billion in debt personally and about 3 billion in business debt. The interviewer asked him does he stay awake at night worrying about that. His answer was "Why worry? Worry just gets in the way of a solution" Powerful stuff! I try not to worry these days, I just write about the stress and worry then look to find a solution. Try and work on changing your outlook. Worry is just doom and gloom. In the end everything really works out ok. |
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bigbadpete
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 18:53:42
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Darko, do you have any idea how many times I was killed by a space vampire when I was a kid? This isn't very inspiring  |
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PeterW
Canada
102 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 19:38:57
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"I've always been the type of person who questions everything, who lists all possible problems with a situation before coming to a "good" conclusion. I've found myself to point out everything wrong with a potential mate before focusing on the good."
Ditto. That's the perfectionist in us. I've also had a habit of pointing out (to myself) everything wrong about me before focussing on the good. And to me physical symptoms are another thing wrong, so I focus more attention and worry on them.
My pattern isn't a bunch of minor things that jump around, it's always been one or sometimes two really big heavily entrenched things at a time. Stuff that feels and responds like a major physical problem and can be disabling. So that makes the acceptance part even tougher.
And I've always thought it was such a good trait to be open minded, question everything, be objective, look at all sides of the equation before coming to a conclusion. I know I sometimes cant keep the same opinion on some issues for more than a day. Problem is this habitual over rationalization of everything and looking at every angle works against us with this TMS stuff. And it keeps us locked in our heads and we forget to feel.
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wrldtrv
666 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 23:01:24
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| Good comments all. And I agree with what Peter said about introspective, analytical people being more likely to develop TMS symptoms because the brain has to create more symptoms to keep the probing thoughts from penetrating the truth about what might lie in the unconscious. On the other hand, this very probing is the treatment for TMS. Sort of a Catch-22. |
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How do I convince myself its not physical?
