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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
 Posted - 01/30/2006 : 18:53:47
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My heart goes out to all those who took the time to address the pleas of this lost lamb. You're so right, and I've got to thinking, this will never ever end unless I put my foot down--which I'm doing right now. (Ok, fine, I'm lying down, so, rather, I'm putting my foot across.
From now on I'm going to try to only use this board to focus on the emotional, not the physical. As I've mentioned previously, I have not been doing the work necessary to heal, I've been obsessing, still.
My sister--an extremely gifted professional ballerina at the tender age of 20--just checked into rehab today for an eating disorder. Her inpatient program will last four weeks. As you can imagine, this has been very trying for all of us. In the end though, I'm so glad she decided to check in.
I spoke to her on the phone this evening and she was in histerics. She's very scared. I feel terrible that she has to go through with all of this, and as you can imagine, my parents were both crying when they came home earlier today. But on the other hand, I feel guilt stricken for not being able to produce tears. It's so hard for me to feel and I so badly want to feel, especially in this instance, but it's as though there's a blockage of sorts. Regardless, I'm going to lend my love and support in her time of need.
And I think, what better a time than to forget all this junk having to do with my body and my pain and my symptoms, because I do not want to look back on this knowing that I could have been there for her, but instead of concentrating my energy on sending love, I was busy obsessing about my symptom du jour.
On top of that, she had a family therapy session today with my parents and what comes out? Nothing other than the fact that my father has admitted to being married TWICE, before he met my mother. My mother was in fact aware of this, but neither ever told my sister or I. I cannot help but feel betrayed, for what else is my father hiding from me?
Anyway, that was my rant and I'm about to rant some more right now in the journal. I'm determined to kick this.
Oh yes, I do have a question, when Sarno says to think of one of the psychological things on your list every time you find yourself focusing on symptoms, how exactly do you do this? Because when I try, I find myself grasping for a thought, one never quite comes to mind. Should I have something picked out at the beginning of the day that I know I can switch to when my thoughts turn to the pain(s)? Or can I just say "STOP!" and go about my business?
Seth |
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savedbysarno
10 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2006 : 06:11:33
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| # 1 STOP thinking of yourself as a lost lamb |
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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2006 : 06:58:26
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Can you explain that notion further?
Seth |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2006 : 10:10:18
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Seth, it's obvious but not to you. Maybe you need to read your posts in chronological order from the perspective that "Seth" is actually somebody else.
Low self-esteem is a pretty common trait among TMS-prone people. Many people don't realize they have it because it is disguised as symptoms. But in your case, it comes through loud and clear.
You need to try to start thinking positive and believing that you can and will successfully battle TMS and learn to stop obsessing about your symtpoms. You need to yell "STOP!" to yourself whenever you are aware of the obsessing and focus on something else.
Take a long-term view and believe that you will conquer this. You are a healthy 24 year old and slowly but surely you need to try to build your self-confidence. Don't expect overnight results. Just take it one day at a time and do the work and you will get better. |
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savedbysarno
10 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2006 : 10:54:52
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People who are lost often see themselves as victims. Victims feel like things "happen" to them that they have no control over. When you have no control, your life depends on fortune or the whims and ideas of others and not your own. You are a leaf blowing in the wind.
You cannot make a move without other peoples input.
If your foot hurts, you ask if their foot hurts. You need such validation! You are you! It doesn't matter if not one person has the same symptom. Personally I feel that you need to stop reading all of these posts, change therapist if you are even going to one now, and stop whining.
No, I do not think that you cause your pain...but by your words, I do not think that you do anything to stop it either. Don't be lying on your bed reading these posts. Get outside and take a walk! Gosh darn it, go help someone else out there! Change something!
And all of that journaling crap...good for some, but for you it makes you either wallow in it, or feel guilty! You already know what your trouble is!
Just stand tall, consider yourself found, rely on yourself.
No matter what people tell you, you come back with the same questions. Are you here to learn, or just get attention?
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drziggles
USA
292 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2006 : 14:15:52
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| Hey, let's be nice, people...I think there was a glimmer of hope in Seth's last post, so i would like to encourage to continue that. In your post you listed several major stressors going on right now. When you go through psychological issues in your mind, start there, and let the feelings flow. One problem with some TMS folks (including myself) is that they can have zero connection with their own feelings--the TMS is set up to keep it that way! That can mean being out of touch with one's own sadness, happiness, etc. Part of this process is being able to be aware of your feelings, before you find yourself hurting. It is not an easy thing to do, and for me took a couple of years of therapy... Daily journaling is one important way to do this, but it takes being honest and uncensored, which also takes practice. Get started! |
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savedbysarno
10 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2006 : 14:46:07
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Sorry if maybe I am a little tuff.
I didn't get better till I got some tuff love. It worked for me, so I guess on the off chance it would work for Seth, I said what I really felt.
But I do know that some people need to take longer to go through the steps.
Sorry if anyone felt upset by my reaction.
But I still feel that unless we help ourselves, with others support of course, we will get nowhere |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2006 : 04:05:12
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What fascinating reading. I can identify an awful lot with Seth. I can't add much to what's already been said except to give a little bit of my own experience which is that there's almost always going to be the next symptom...The only thing we can control really is our response to it...
It seems to me Seth that you're looking in the wrong place, meaning outside yourself...Sarno sent you a perfectly understandable answer...translation, ya, probably TMS but on the other hand I can't be a responsible physician and tell you to completely ignore symptoms without seeing you...So check with your doc but at the same time get busy thinking TMS..He's not God, and the responsibility for your recovery lies with you..Life is full of uncertainty, and ambiguity, and one can simply never find absolute safety in this world..If you are to recover you need to accept this and move on with the work
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Oiy!
