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Boswoof
USA
2 Posts |
 Posted - 01/01/2006 : 16:17:57
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I need help, support and encouragement from anyone who has been in a similar situation as me. I've been reading Dr. Sarno's books since February, but I've only gotten maybe 20% better. I went to a TMS doctor in my area in November, and he said he's 100% sure I have TMS. The problem is, I've been taking hydrocodone to kill the pain in the short-term. Dr. Sarno says in his books that strong painkillers can help, so I think I've used that to justify them in the first place. Now I'm dependent on them. Hydrocodone, and other opiates are pretty much evil. They kill pain effectively, but they turn you into a zombie, and someone who you aren't.
I'm really trying to figure out if I should go to a rehab or something to get off, and STAY off this stuff. I quit taking them about 3 months ago on my own, but the pain was so bad that I went back to taking them. The withdrawal is very unpleasant, so I don't think I can stay off them without help. What I need encouragement about is the FEAR. I fear the pain that I will have if I get off them. I know I can do it, but I am scared not to have pain medicine as a crutch.
Does anybody have any words of encouragement for me? I already know I need to get off them, and they are bad ...
Bosco |
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jilly_girl
USA
108 Posts |
Posted - 01/01/2006 : 17:22:15
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pain meds are not bad when used correctly. they are good when you need them. I would certainly run this by your doc who prescribed them. perhaps you need to taper off the dosage instead of just quitting cold turkey.
Jill |
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 01/01/2006 : 22:13:02
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Pain meds helped me in the beginning of my recovery, also. I have found since I have been better that I have discovered working out, running, and other activities haave replaced the pain. I have also done a lot of reading about how one can become attached to pain, as part of my life story. Step back and look aat your life, and your
"life story" |
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n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 01/02/2006 : 02:49:32
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Hi Bosco,
I have been pretty much exactly where you are at the moment. It was actually codeine-phosphate that I was dependent on. I stopped cold turkey with them and my advice to you is - don't do that. It was a big mistake.
Obviously everyone's case is unique to them, so what I describe suited me - it may not work for anyone else, but here goes anyway; at least you might feel less alone to hear that what you are going through I went through, successfully a couple of years ago.
I was at the point where I couldn't get out of the door in the morning without taking 30mg of codeine phosphate. I needed more at night so that I could get some sleep.
The thing about codeine, as you know already - it's highly addictive because it has a feel-good effect on the brain as well as being an analgesic. Somehow, the last doctor's GP practice I went to had put codeine phospate for me on repeat prescription and they never checked how much I was taking; I just phoned up any time I wanted to and there would be a filled-out prescription waiting for me at the reception.
I moved house to another area - my new doctor wasn't having it and said I'd have to stop the codeine. I went home after seeing him, decided to stop immediately, put all the pills in the trash, became worried that if I got desperate enough I'd get them out of the trash, so I crushed them all up and mixed the powder with bulb compost so I couldn't take any no matter how bad I got.
Withdrawal was very bad, but once begun I was determined just to see it through.
Anyway, it became obvious that I couldn't do this alone. The fear you describe was unbearable and the fear made the back pain escalate - more fear, more pain, on and on - you know what I'm talking about.
The upshot was - my doctor prescribed low dose valium (2mg) to get me over the initial withdrawal. I'd learned my lesson and was very careful to use them sensibly and withdrew a few months later with no ill effects. I have never wanted to take them (or the dreaded codeine) since.
He also sent me to a pain management specialist who prescribed a combination of slow release Tramadol (Ultram) and low dose amitryptiline (one of the old fashioned anti-depressants that's no longer used for that, but is used as a pain killer, often in conjun
ction with something else). I took these as needed and they were very effective.
I know that Ultram is a synthetic opiate and you'll be thinking that it must have been just replacing one problem for another, but it didn't give me a buzz like codeine did, and I was extra careful after my codeine experience. So, yes, it was a crutch in a way, but it allowed to me to work on the fear which, as you say, is what I also needed encouragement to deal with. Working on that fear was the key to my recovery.
Get all the help you need with this, Bosco and remember, you can take as long as you need to work on your recovery. Had rehab been an option for me at the time (2003 by the way), I think I would have gone for it, but the bottom line is, I recovered, it was hard work, but work that was worth it. You'll do it - you've made the first crucial step by identifying the fact that's it's the FEAR that's the root of the problem.
Best wishes
Anne
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Edited by - n/a on 01/02/2006 02:52:21 |
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Joy_I_Am
United Kingdom
138 Posts |
Posted - 08/13/2012 : 05:55:27
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I'm glad I found this thread, because I got into the same position as AnneG (hello Anne, if you're still around!) Snap, doctor prescribed me co-codamol (30mg codeine/500mg paracetamol (acetaminophen)), also for back pain/IBS. And snap, I just got this on repeat prescription; when I went for my annual review, the doctor would practically encourage me to take it - I think she thought it was a way of dealing with my anxiety. Well, she was right there! At first.
I, too, got in the habit of taking it to leave the house in the morning, or to do anything social, or to get off to sleep. It wasn't about pain any more, it wasn't even about getting a buzz, it was just to feel 'comfortable'. I'd take the odd day off, trying to be responsible, but would feel anxious and sore by the next day. I didn't realise it was withdrawal at first, but I realise now it was mini withdrawals each day.
I thought I was being sensible, taking less than the prescribed daily amount - probably between 30 - 60mg a day, more on stressful occasion. A real 'addict' would laugh me to scorn! But I've been taking it for a long time, probably about eight years. I realised this about two weeks ago, so I decided I would 'just stop'.
This was not my best idea ever... I hadn't realised quite how dependent I'd got on it. I read the drug forums, and everyone said the first few days would be the worst then you'd get better, but I just got worse and worse, sickness, fatigue to the point where I could hardly walk, anxiety and dread, nothing helped... at last, having to visit my parents, I took a small dose - and felt human again within half an hour!
So I've spent the last week tapering off, and have got to 8mg, then nothing for two days. I do feel a bit 'withdrawy', but think I can get through it myself now. I don't want to go to my doctor and swap one dependency for another (besides, she doesn't 'do' valium, which is a bit ironic).
One thing I am concerned about, knowing my TMS brain, is that I will psych myself into feeling worse than I do! I've read about PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome), but don't want to convince myself that every twinge and 'off day' I get over the next few months is PAWS. In my favour, I've taken care of myself, exercised, eaten a healthy diet. I know I need to do all I can to foster those 'good neurotransmitters' which I've been lightly, but consistently, bludgeoning for the past decade or so...
I'm sure a TMS approach will help be through the adjustment, and stop me relapsing. But I'd really appreciate hearing about anyone else's experience with this.
Thanks, Joy |
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Bugbear
United Kingdom
152 Posts |
Posted - 08/13/2012 : 10:39:46
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Ironically there was an article in yesterday's Sunday Times Style supplement about what it's like to be addicted to painkillers, in the author's case, Solpedeine. I took this as recommended by a Relate counsellor of all people. It took the edge off my migraines. Fortunately I could not tolerate the codeine long term stomach-wise so stopped taking them. I really don't think codeine should be available OTC in any form.
P.S. Tried to put in the link to the article but you have to subscribe to the Times to get it. |
Edited by - Bugbear on 08/13/2012 10:41:05 |
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TaylorJoh
USA
113 Posts |
Posted - 08/13/2012 : 11:11:04
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Hi Joy,
I was terrified of withdrawal. I was taking 160mg of oxycontin and about 60mg of morphine a day. I had no problem doing a humane taper which was 10mg less a week. Once I jumped off at 10mg a day it was AWFUL!! I didn't have all the anxiety, RLS, stomach upset, diarhea, etc... the normal stuff. It all hit my square it the lower back. And I couldn't handle it so I took tramadol and worked down from there.
I also had read about PAWS and I was afraid of that. Then I thought, if you think you are going to experience it, you will. But I called BS on it and actually never experienced PAWS. I felt more alive and healthy then I had in years after I completely quit and I never even thought about it again.
Forget about PAWS. This is just another one of the popular ideas that get into people's heads and they experience the nocebo effect. 
Taylor |
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Joy_I_Am
United Kingdom
138 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2012 : 07:14:55
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TaylorJoh, thanks for that very positive post - it was just what I needed to hear! I am so glad you're off those drugs now - you were taking a LOT! I love your choice of words - 'humane taper' - of course you'll get some symptoms when you stop a strong drug suddenly, but the body and mind will seek a natural balance, I think.
Bugbear, I'll see if I can find that article, I used to read a lot of the Times before the paywall went up...! I'm glad you didn't 'take' to the codeine. I think some people just 'have the gene' - my husband can happily take codeine, and gets no buzz, and doesn't think of it again after his headache or whatever has gone - I'm always taking the pulse of how I'm feeling (and hence the TMS, I guess).  |
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TMS and addictive pain meds
