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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
 Posted - 11/05/2005 : 11:50:08
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Hi everyone,
As many of you know, I'm going through marital problems and have decided to divorce my husband. This has been one of the saddest most stressful times of my entire life. I've noticed that not only am I breaking out like a teenager (interestingly, all on the right side of my face only) but that my hair doesn't even feel the same anymore. I lost 15 pounds in two months and have had a lot of stomach distress. I wasn't taking vitamins because I thought they would irritate my stomach more. So, obviously my hair and skin took the brunt of it. Could the hair thinning/loss thing be TMS? I have no idea. I just know that suddenly, in the past month or two, I've really seen a difference in my once thick hair. My friend was telling me she vaguely remembers going through the same thing when she was divorcing her husband. And, if anyone has gone through this, can it come back? I see there are a lot of short, new hairs growing in the front, as if they fell out and they are coming back in. Very strange. I'm taking vitamins and omega fatty acids to try and help.
Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Laura
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Becca
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - 11/05/2005 : 12:49:05
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HI
I would venture to guess that you hair loss is directly related to your weight loss and nutrirional status. The same thing happened to me when I lost weight secondary to stress. Once my weight was within a healthy range it grew back thicker and curlier than ever-R |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 11/05/2005 : 15:20:58
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| Early on when my TMS was just developing my hair was coming out in huge clumps. I keep my hair really short. I have not used a comb in years. I attributed this to stress and the condition stopped for a long time and the hair grew back in. But I see lately that I have hair coming out in some parts of my beard. TMS is simply amazing is it diversity. |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 11/05/2005 : 17:01:49
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Stress can cause all manner of things, including believe it or not, dandruff. I suffered a kind of emotional trauma a year and a half ago, the after effects of which continued on for months. One day I was giving myself a haircut and was horrified to see huge ugly flakes of dandruff all through my hair. I've had little outbreak of dandruff here and there which were easily controlled with a medicated shampoo, but this was way worse. And it took me a long time to get it under control. Yech.
I wouldn't say hairloss is TMS, any more than I would say dandruff is. Probably makes the most sense to just assume it's a byproduct of stress and attack it at its source.. |
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 11/05/2005 : 20:52:01
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I get acne when I get stressed. I also get hair loss, but i can't relate it to stress. I have had a new doctor for the past few months, that has reccomended a few things that really helped me.
One was flax seed oil, that I have been taking regularly, he reccomended it for general health, but I have notice since I have been taking it, my hair is much thicker, and my skin clearer. A girl I work with is an avid horse rider, and she says that flax is a staple for horses, to keep their coats shiny. It is an omega 3 oil, so I think you can't go wrong with it. |
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celestica
Canada
38 Posts |
Posted - 11/06/2005 : 08:26:54
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HI Laura,
Two things that I have found very helpful for acne are fish oil (purified) and meditation.
I assume you are getting a divorce to take better care of yourself emotionally. Don't forget to take care of your body, and cherish it, because you are important and beautiful and deserve it. So eat good food, get fresh air and sun, and congratulate yourself for taking good care.
Good Luck,
Amelia |
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 11/06/2005 : 10:35:05
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Thanks everyone. I'm going to continue with the multivitamin and the omega fatty acids. Stress sure can create all kinds of weird stuff.
Laura
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 11/08/2005 : 14:52:58
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| Laura - I am convinced that anything you take just acts as a placebo. I am an acne expert!! I have been more relaxed recently as a broken foot has forced me to slow down in life. My skin has cleared totally and I have been eating much more sugar than normal. I think it is a good idea to take a multi and omega fatty acids are always a good thing - although if you eat some wild salmon and/or sardines, you get those nutrients naturally. At this time in your life, a healthy diet will really help. The skin and hair - stress, stress and stress. Pay it no attention. It is too obviously a coincidence. You are in my prayers and thoughts right now as you go through this painful time |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 11/08/2005 : 15:28:23
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flax seed is also an excellent source of Omega 3 fatty acids
See The World's Healthiest Foods List, A-Z at:
http://www.whfoods.com/foodstoc.php
They have a great weekly e-mail list.
Here is the link for flaxseed, which will tell you of its many health benefits:
http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=81
I usually roaste them a bit in a pan and then sprinkle them on my food. Gives your food a slight nutty flavour. Good on almost anything, even in your sandwiches. Watch it, as they will pop like popcorn when you put too much heat on them.
Try making some toaste and then adding some honey and then flax seed. It is delicious. It is also very healthy....
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Edited by - n/a on 11/09/2005 06:02:44 |
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Michele
249 Posts |
Posted - 11/08/2005 : 15:48:02
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I'm going through the same thing, horrible, horrible acne. However, I did two things that I believe is contributing to the acne. I am stressed, but am also in weekly therapy.
I thought I'd try Celadrin for arthritis (all natural), and switched my skin care routine. My hair isn't falling out, just feels gross now. I have stopped taking the Celadrin and went back to my old skin care routine.
If it's TMS, then it's pretty cagey.  |
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n/a
560 Posts |
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molomaf
119 Posts |
Posted - 11/08/2005 : 16:39:42
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I agree on the book. It is an incredible read!
Michele |
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 11/09/2005 : 08:16:14
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Hey everyone,
I'm continuing to take the supplements and I also bought some ground flax seed a few days ago. I put it on my cereal in the morning, two big spoonfuls. It tastes pretty good. I am also meditating and TRYING to reduce my level of stress - not an easy thing right now. You see, part of the whole scene with my husband was that I had met another man who totally rocked my whole world. For two months, things were amazing and now it has all come to a screeching halt. He has decided to go back to his wife (they were separated) because after she learned about me she started doing everything in her power to get him back. Since he is obviously wishy washy and doesn't know what the heck he wants, he fell for it (second time back). I am now moving on but it is difficult. Now I'm dealing with two breakups at the same time and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. The guilt I'm carrying around is tremendous.
So, today is a new day and I am going to try to move forward and get my life together. Maybe if I continue the stress reduction (meditation) and the omega fatty acids I'll start to see some improvement soon. My husband's hair has thinned a lot in the last couple months as well. Obviously, stress takes its toll in many ways.
Thanks everyone for all the suggestions. Peter, I'll have to check out that book.
Laura
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redskater
USA
81 Posts |
Posted - 11/09/2005 : 08:42:01
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Good for you, Laura! Sounds like you are on the right track.
Stress does cause hair loss. I've started learning to meditate too and have found it to be a wonderful tool for de-stressing and just getting in touch with me. I've been reading and doing Jon Kabat-Zinn's books and cds. He's great. I highly recommend his work.
Take care,
Gaye |
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 11/09/2005 : 08:58:03
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Laura,
Strangely enough - I know what you are going through. I broke off my engagement and a month later I started talking to a guy I had liked a year ago. We have spent the last 2 1/2 months talking and I really really like him. It has only been a friendship but I thought it was leading to more. Well - it has all come to a screeching halt. I have been in shock and for some reason it has seemed worse than the break up from my fiance. I realize now that I need time and that it isn't bad that it has ended - maybe only for now. I think it was a welcome distraction from the pain of the break up. I really believe that time heals. My form of meditation is prayer. I also broke my foot 2 weeks ago and so my whole life has slowed down. I cannot rush around and I feel more relaxed than I have in a long time. It is almost what I needed (weird I know)
I am convinced that your hair and skin are just TMS equivalents. As I have slowed down now, my skin is glowing. I am not saying that I don't have emotional pain still.
Hang in there - time is an amazing healer |
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 11/09/2005 : 10:47:52
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Thanks, Suz. I agree. I am still pretty down about the whole thing but I do feel stronger today than yesterday. I think it's just a matter of time - time heals all. Yesterday was just a lot of crying and utter sadness but today is a new day. I actually feel more anger and disgust today - like, what the heck was he thinking going back to something he knows will never work out when he could be with me. And, like you said, I too have felt more sadness over that breakup than the one with my own husband. I think that I was so emotionally detached from my husband for nearly ten years that now it's not such a surprise. I do still have mixed feelings with him - like, I would love more than anything for us to be able to work things out but I know we can't. It's just not there anymore. But, I am scared of getting out there in the big world by myself, especially since I'm not making any money yet (I'm starting a new business venture and hoping to be making money soon). Anyway, today I will meditate and take things a little bit slower. I'm hoping that with stress reduction and the supplements my hair will be back to normal in no time.
Gaye, thanks for the book suggestion. I have a book by him on medication, recommended to me on this forum. He's wonderful. I also listen to Wayne Dyer's meditation CD. Aahhhhh. I think I'll go do that now.
Laura
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 11/09/2005 : 10:49:08
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Correction - that was meditation NOT medication (how funny).
Laura
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PeterW
Canada
102 Posts |
Posted - 11/09/2005 : 16:01:37
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I too highly recommend anything by Jon Kabat-Zinn. He's also really worth catching as a speaker if you ever get the chance - I saw him earlier this year and left with different ways of looking at things.
I agree with previous posters Gabor Mate's book is a fascinating and riveting read. I will put out a caution flag though - it's not a self help book so there's no treatment section and I personally found it a bit depressing and almost scary because a lot of the people documented in there had truly crippling conditions (like ALS) that seemed to be beyond any hope of getting better. Like it's almost amazing how bad it can get. Reading some of the accounts triggered waves of worrying about my own health not improving, or about coming down with some other even worse stress induced problem. Mind you, I was in a vulnerable state at the time.
In short, highly recommended, esp for doubters of emotional connection to illness, or for those wanting a fascinating and broader perspective on the topic. But it might not work as a feel good nightcap especially for anyone who is easily stressed about their health.
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electraglideman
USA
162 Posts |
Posted - 11/10/2005 : 09:10:22
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Hi Laura,
I've been reading your posts the last few months and I know what your going through. I was not going to give any advice on whether you should divorce or try to make up because I don't think anyone on this forum knows enough about your situtation to do so. Now that you have made up your mind let me share something with you.
I was in a similar situtation as you 20 years ago. I was married to a woman who I believed enjoyed making me miserable. Being a person who tries to please people and wants everyone to be happy I stayed with her until I just could not stand the sight of her anymore.
When I walked out she begged and pleaded for me to stay. She said she would change but it was just to late for me to change my mind. She begged and pleaded all the way up until the divorce was final.
I want you to know that your not the first person to go through this and you will not be the last.
Make sure you have someone that you can talk to and tell all of your thoughts and desires. Someone you can trust. Having someone to talk to is very helpful and its alot cheaper than a shrink.
Don't go looking for love now, your not ready for that, but its ok to look for new friends, male and female.
Don't think about the past. That demon in your brain loves to make you spend hours thinking " only if you would have done this or that you could have saved your marriage."
Take it one day at a time. Remember this is the first day of the rest of your life. Its a new begining for you, think positive. Don't feel guilty about having a good time. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
Get a good lawyer. Things are fixing to get very nasty. Thats a promise but you will get through it.
I am now married to a wonderful woman and have two children who are my pride and joy. Things turned out great for me and I know it will for you too.
Your lucky in the fact that you have two daughters who love you and want to see you happy.
Keep us all informed on you progress because its good to talk about it even if you don't know us.
Good luck,
Mike
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 11/10/2005 : 11:10:40
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Thanks Mike. Today I am even more depressed than yesterday. I guess that's normal - it comes in waves. I'm sad over the loss of my marriage - of being a failure and letting down my husband and my kids. My husband keeps asking me to give our marriage one last try but I honestly don't think I have it in me. Still, as I watched him drive off to work this morning I couldn't help crying. And then there's the situation with the other man - that wound is wide open as well and I'm hurting so much it's hard to function.
You know, everyone tells me to get a good lawyer but we aren't going that route. There is a place here called We The People and if you can figure things out amicably then you go there and split it all up. I know he's not going to try to screw me over - even with his faults my husband does have integrity and he would take care of me and the girls.
I'm so confused. I'm miserable with him and am always trying to get away from him, yet there are times that I think I must be crazy and should give it one last effort. Who knows...
Anyway, thank you for your kind words and input. I appreciate it.
Laura
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 11/10/2005 : 11:26:06
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Laura,
What is it that is really difficult in your marriage - other than a feeling of not loving him enough? (Please disregard this post if you don't feel like discussing this here) It seems there might be a tiny speck of hope in you that you could save this. Have you thought about exploring that? What is it that must change for you to have closeness back to your husband?
Suz |
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Topic |
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Acne and hair thinning
