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chicago
85 Posts |
 Posted - 10/03/2005 : 17:10:23
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Has anyone had this experience. I basically had a pain free week at work last week. I felt great about it because I know I did alot of hard work to get to that point. However when I went into work today I lasted about two hours and started to have a great deal of pain. I know what to do from strategies I've read here and from my readings, but it is still very discouraging. When this happens I get fearful.
Similar expweriences? Words of encouragement welcome. I know tommorrow is anew day and I will get back on my horse but it is defeating none the less. Thanks! |
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icelikeaninja
USA
316 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2005 : 17:49:35
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| Hey Sarno told me today this will happen. Tms wants this to happen |
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Fredarm57
USA
72 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2005 : 19:50:08
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It was a two steps forward one (sometimes two) step back process for me. Keep at it, keep "getting back on the horse". Eventually, the horse will get tired and won't try to throw you off (continuing the equine metaphor).
Fred |
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chicago
85 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2005 : 20:34:34
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| Thanks Fred, I know what you mean, however its still very frustrating. I find myself very short with my kids. I get frustrated because theres things I'd like to do, like coach my sons basketball team and I am too scared to because of the pain. I can go to his games and support him however I find myself getting very down on myself. I had coached other parents kids for years but I can't coach my own. I just find myself getting down when I least expect it. It could be seeing someone do an activity I used to . The next thing that happens is I feel a twinge of pain and then it blows up into more pain. Sometimes I can catch myself other times I can't. The trend for me is that things have improved a great deal especially over this past month, in fact more than the last eight years however I'm impatient and I want more. I want to be totally rid of this gremlin. I don't want deal with pain any longer. A day at a time is difficult but I guess we have no other choice. How has this process been for others who went from breakthrough moments to periods of sustained recovery?? |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2005 : 21:42:17
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quote:
Originally posted by chicago
I don't want deal with pain any longer.
Hi chicago,
I understand how you feel. Been there many times myself.
This line says it all...
"Treating TMS means taking responsibility for your own healing.
-- Dave"
...and if you don't already know, Dave is the current caretaker / moderator of tmshelp.com.
You will have to re-learn how to be patient. You will go forward with progress. You will have some bad days. Maybe go back a step. But then 2 steps forward again.
Don't try to put yourself on some sort of time table or recovery schedule. It doesnt work that way. It took some of us months or years to gain full recovery. Some people do recovery in days, but many do not, and we still need to work at it.
I used to blame myself that I was "broken" and yes sometimes I was not as patient as I should have been with my kids. TMS is a bum rap, so don't blame yourself, you didn't choose the personality type that is prone to TMS. You were born with it, or it was dished out to you, and now managing it is a life long job that only you can do.
The best part that is you can manage this disease, and we are all behind you.
Take care, -Stryder |
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ladyblue
United Kingdom
50 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2005 : 02:37:46
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Hi Chicago,
I haven't been at this for long, a couple of weeks maybe but yesterday I had my first day "pain free"!
I still can't believe I'm saying that, I woke up & nothing no pain?...got out of bed...nothing?...dressed, showered...still nothing?, and so the day went on...lol..and boy what a day I had!
By 9am I was sitting in church listening to my daughters Harvest Festival Service, I then went into town & treated myself to allsorts. It's been years since I've had such freedom, it made me cry I admit.
Today I have awoken to the pain.
I was disappointed yes but I keep thinking about yesterday and know that now it's only a matter of time before every day will be that way.
I noticed a change though Chicago as well, although the pain was as intense as ever, my fear of it was significantly less and I think that's a crutial turning point. It took my breath away a couple of times and I had a good shout at it.
You know I think that under each of those steps that Stryder so rightly refers to is an emotion and we need to see that step as a stone, we have to lift it, deal with whats underneath, put it back down and step on it to the next one. There will definately be occasions that we miss a bit and have to go back, but the important thing is that the steps are inplace and waiting for us to go forward.
Just my thoughts on it Chicago, hope it may help. Jane |
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chicago
85 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2005 : 18:07:45
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| Thanks for the encouraging words. Jane I too experience less fear the more I go pain free. Its just when I think the pain is gone and it comes back I get so depressed. I guess I'm lulled into thinking things are ok. I have read that the only way to truly deal with the anxiety is to face it and put yourself in situations that are anxiety causing. I sometimes do that. I go ahead with an activity even though I'm fearful. Sometimes it turns out pain free other times its very painful. I just need to accept that I may have pain and thats ok. Sometimes I find if I give up fighting I feel so much better. Its just difficult to do on a consistent basis. |
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chicago
85 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2005 : 18:11:20
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| Thanks Stryder for responding. I am trying to take responsibility for my own healing. I have decided to stop going to see a whole string of doc's. and just stick to seeing the one person who has been most helpful to me. |
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Topic |
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Fear of Progress
