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ladyblue
United Kingdom
50 Posts |
 Posted - 09/20/2005 : 15:38:54
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 Hello all. I'm sitting here having just returned from a private consultation with a back pain specialist. I had all my hopes pinned on this poor unsuspecting soul..as it turned out he was only a little man and would never have been strong enough to carry them! lol
The truth is I don't know where to go from here, I've come away with yet another prescription for more drugs which carry a ? as to their effectiveness. My back pain has been getting progressively worse for 9 years now. In the last year I've not been able to either lye down flat in bed or turn over. It's so accutley painfull that my days are filled with dread (it does this pain that's like being stabbed, shot and struck by lightening all in one go!)I'm told it's all down to wear and tear on the lower discs?? I'm a single mum of two and yes feel really guilty about the way it affects the quality of our lives. It's been a tough few years to say the least. Five years ago I was diagnosed with Cancer and had to have quite major surgery and coming round from the anaesthetic my main concern was the pain in my back!! Thankfully that's in my past now but life again is a bit of a black tunnel and I need to see some light at the end of it. I read Dr Sarnos books a few weeks ago and it all made so much sense....and yet....a part of me just can't accept that psychology can be causing such accute pain. If anyone can share experiences/theories with me I would be truely grateful. Looking forward to any responses and thankyou for taking the time to read this  |
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cheeryquery
Canada
56 Posts |
Posted - 09/20/2005 : 16:31:42
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I am the queen of TMS or at least one of her worker bees. I had back agony (for years), TMJ in the jaw (for six months, that was AWFUL), fibromyalgia (years, again), constipation (all my life and more than once for a whole month)... I could go on. Right now, I'm in the middle of an "attack". I have plantar fascitiis (can barely walk), numbness and tingling in my legs and arms, sore shoulders and a pain in me bum. ALL TMS, and I'm not kidding. I can literally tell it to go away and, eventually, it goes (it has no choice because I know what it is). At first, it goes for seconds, minutes, hours or days, then for months at a time. Being sadly human, I tend to forget about TMS. One day, back it comes and I have to go through the whole process again. Still, it's much better than having no control and feeling that my body is betraying me. I know the problem is my mind.
Hang it there, ladyblue. You will get there.
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ladyblue
United Kingdom
50 Posts |
Posted - 09/20/2005 : 16:38:34
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| Thankyou so much for that, it means a lot. I'm just about to order Dr Sarnos tapes as I think hearing it will somehow "penetrate" better. Wishing you all the very best. x |
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almost there
109 Posts |
Posted - 09/20/2005 : 20:15:40
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Ladyblue-
You are NOT ALONE! As long as you are a member of this Forum you are never alone! We are all here...though we may not always contribute...we are here! Seems to me.....you are "almost there" (no pun intended)....you have read Dr. Sarno's books....find them filled with...."oh! my! God! That's me!"....the next step is accepting the fact that your back pain is NOT STRUCTURAL....but psychological! This is big....because we are so programmed to think everything is structural! I'm a nurse...this was big for me....although I had always suspected the Mindbody Connection....buy the tapes...you will be surprised....just remember....most of the diagnoses start with.... "it probably is due to".....what does this say....they can't say for sure....they are guessing....they don't know....but they have to come up with something...usually for insurance purposes!
This is so real....but you have to accept that it is your sub-conscience that is creating this distraction...that it is not structural! I hope you can make the leap....keep us posted! |
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ladyblue
United Kingdom
50 Posts |
Posted - 09/21/2005 : 01:46:58
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| Thank you Almost There. I've just got up and incredibly I slept much more peacefully than usual. I'm shuffling about using a walking stick but don't feel anywhere near as panicky. I'm so happy to have found this forum last night....thanks again, your words mean a lot. Ok I'm now going to get a Cappucino...lol..the day doesn't officially begin without one. Take good care. x |
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PeterW
Canada
102 Posts |
Posted - 09/21/2005 : 08:27:11
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When you say Sarno's tapes, do you mean audio recordings, like cassettes or cds? I only see the books and the video on his site. Audio would work better than video for me as it would have a better chance of penetrating if I could just take it anywhere and listen over and over and over again. |
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 09/21/2005 : 08:45:29
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Dear Ladyblue,
My heart goes out to you. I suffered excruciating back and sciatic pain for 12 years and I am only 35 years old. I went to every type of doctor - orthopedics, chiropractors, rheumatologists etc. etc. I got worse and worse. On top of that, I had such guilt towards my family and friends as I had to miss out on so much. Sometimes that was worse than the pain.
Now - I am PAIN FREE!!!! All because of John Sarno. I read his book a year and a half ago. I started doing the work. I knew I saw myself in his TMS personality description, but I could not fully accept that emotions/stress could cause such terrible pain. Guess what - it does! I started journalling and rereading the books. I actually ended up going to see one of Sarno's psychologists for about 4 months. I can 100% swear to you that all of this pain is psychologically induced. My doctors told me I had worn away discs etc. Sarno told me "that's normal for your age and that is not where the pain is coming from"
For me, it took time and patience and constantly switching to thinking psychologically. I can do anything now. I can do yoga, dance and my latest - running! This was impossible for me. I couldn't even go on long walks.
Hang in there - you will do it. The trick is in getting over the fear and accepting it is totally psychological. Also, this has to sink into your unconscious - this all takes time. The time varies for everyone. |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 09/21/2005 : 09:09:59
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Hi ladyblue
A lot of the 'veterans' don't post too often anymore,and one might get the perception reading the forum that there are a lot of struggling TMS patients.That is a bit misleading.It is Human nature to go off and forget how miserable we once were when we suffered everysingle minute of the day.We forget our pain when it goes away.
I won't post my whole story here again...I'm sure you can find it in the archives.Suffice it to say that I suffered a multitude of pain symptoms and other illnesses for years before I hit bottom(over and over again) and finally read Sarno's book "Healing Back Pain"
I too thought it too good to be true....that it might have worked for others,but I was going to be the lone exception.Also,I had so many tapes running in my head of all the mythology I'd been a slave to for so many years.
I have been completely pain free for 7 years now.Having been declared 'disabled' by the state of California at age 32,I now work in a Heavy labor job,play Baseball and just recently started skateboarding again...I turn 40 next week.I am actually getting better at skateboarding now at age 40 than I was at age 22,skating pools,ditches and halfpipes with teenagers.I fall at least 3 times a day,no pain...ever(except of course the scrapes and bruises)
If you told me I would be doing this on my fourtieth birthday,I would have imagined you crazy...Me? With my congenital defect in my spine,herniated disc,extra long leg,bad shoulder,frozen neck(blamed on skateboarding)...Me? with my chronic respiratory issues,flus and sinus infections...NO WAY!!!
But anyways....here I am...having my THIRD childhood.
There was no internet(for me) when I recovered,and less information on TMS...I just had the book,my doubts,my fears and was terrified.None the less,having no other option but the 'chronic pain center' to which I'd been sentenced I set out and employed all of the Sarno strategies.I went from cripple with a cane,corset and vicodin,to hitting 80mph fastballs in the batting cage in 3-4 weeks.I was back at work in 5.I had relapses which raised my doubts and fears again,but always returned to the 3 main ideas:
Repudiate the structural diagnosis
Return to activity
Recondition the brain
It didn't just give me my life back....it gave me a better one!!
Welcome to the forum and never hesitate to ask a question...Never met Sarno,but I feel like I owe it to him.
Peace
-piggy
Baseball65 |
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ladyblue
United Kingdom
50 Posts |
Posted - 09/21/2005 : 09:09:59
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| Hi...lol..I spoke too soon on the tapes! Yes, it turned out to be videos(only) that I'm unable to find here in England so there was the additional cost of shipping. I have just done a search on TMS and come across quite a collection of products by Dr Schechter...inc: audio tapes, cd's and workbooks (I'm particulay keen on one of those, think it would be a good idea, it's a sort of 30day emotional journal I think)the website is mindbodymedicine.com. If you've any background/info on this Dr I'd be interested to hear it. All the best. |
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ladyblue
United Kingdom
50 Posts |
Posted - 09/21/2005 : 09:51:04
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| It's so incredible to hear from you all! When I got home last night I truely felt I'd reached the end of the road, the thought that I was to spend the rest of my life in this pain was too much to bare. Today I feel as though maybe I'm at a junction afterall and that I do have choices as to which way I go. Fear becomes such a prison and I was well and truely locked in. I've begun paying attention to my "self-talk" today and also the images that play in my head and let me tell you....it's not a pretty picture!! neither is it positive. I realised that I'm constantly visualising myself experiencing that awful pain. Just now for instance I decided to take a walk to the shop (its just at the top of my road) but instantly I saw myself having chronic muscle spasms in the shop and felt the embarassment of everyone watching...then an ambulance was called and so on.Hopefully my awareness will be the key to breaking the cycle I'm in and that I've begun my jouney to recovery. |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 09/21/2005 : 10:10:52
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Hi ladyblue
A lot of the 'veterans' don't post too often anymore,and one might get the perception reading the forum that there are a lot of struggling TMS patients.That is a bit misleading.It is Human nature to go off and forget how miserable we once were when we suffered everysingle minute of the day.We forget our pain when it goes away.
I won't post my whole story here again...I'm sure you can find it in the archives.Suffice it to say that I suffered a multitude of pain symptoms and other illnesses for years before I hit bottom(over and over again) and finally read Sarno's book "Healing Back Pain"
I too thought it too good to be true....that it might have worked for others,but I was going to be the lone exception.Also,I had so many tapes running in my head of all the mythology I'd been a slave to for so many years.
I have been completely pain free for 7 years now.Having been declared 'disabled' by the state of California at age 32,I now work in a Heavy labor job,play Baseball and just recently started skateboarding again...I turn 40 next week.I am actually getting better at skateboarding now at age 40 than I was at age 22,skating pools,ditches and halfpipes with teenagers.I fall at least 3 times a day,no pain...ever(except of course the scrapes and bruises)
If you told me I would be doing this on my fourtieth birthday,I would have imagined you crazy...Me? With my congenital defect in my spine,herniated disc,extra long leg,bad shoulder,frozen neck(blamed on skateboarding)...Me? with my chronic respiratory issues,flus and sinus infections...NO WAY!!!
But anyways....here I am...having my THIRD childhood.
There was no internet(for me) when I recovered,and less information on TMS...I just had the book,my doubts,my fears and was terrified.None the less,having no other option but the 'chronic pain center' to which I'd been sentenced I set out and employed all of the Sarno strategies.I went from cripple with a cane,corset and vicodin,to hitting 80mph fastballs in the batting cage in 3-4 weeks.I was back at work in 5.I had relapses which raised my doubts and fears again,but always returned to the 3 main ideas:
Repudiate the structural diagnosis
Return to activity
Recondition the brain
It didn't just give me my life back....it gave me a better one!!
Welcome to the forum and never hesitate to ask a question...Never met Sarno,but I feel like I owe it to him.
Peace
-piggy
Baseball65 |
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moose1
162 Posts |
Posted - 09/21/2005 : 11:08:37
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Ladyblue,
Beating TMS can be really hard work. I spent three years reading, re-reading and re-reading Sarnos books with little success. I went to three different "mind-body" therapists and filled at least two notebooks with journaling. Nothing worked. It wasn't until about two months ago that I did something that I hadn't done or thought of before that began to make a real difference.
I sat down and wrote out a timeline (in the form of about a half-page typed Word document) of all my pain syndromes, the worst of which was low back pain. Going back to 1995, I simply jotted down when I remembered having a symptom (low back pain, neck pain, GI problems, etc) then wrote maybe a sentence or two about what was happening in my life at that time (usually a job or situation I hated and no money, among other things).
For some reason, after three years of very little success with TMS theory despite a lot of work, it was the act of writing that timeline that it began to click for me on a subconscious level that all this stuff couldn't possibly be anything else *but* TMS. It was, as Sarno puts it, the true beginning of wisdom for me.
This doesn't mean that the work is all done, however. I still have to talk to that part of my brain (what I now refer to as my "inner bastard") that uses pain as a cheap ploy. I began to meditate every day for 15 minutes, during which time I have a little chat with it to remind it that the more pain it causes me, the more time I'll spend looking at the very things it's trying to distract me from. It doesn't like that.
So it does work. Just takes time. And btw, that whole thing about worn out discs causing pain is a *total* crock of S.
Moose
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ladyblue
United Kingdom
50 Posts |
Posted - 09/21/2005 : 13:59:25
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| Thanks Moose, yes it was when I read all my symptons in Sarnos book that alarm bells truly rang. My Chiropracter sat with me a couple of years ago and went through my x-ray results...boy was it grim!! He pointed out the disc space narrowing and that the cushioning was all but worn away, at best he said, we could make it "manageable" I swear the time is appraoching that I shall jog naked past his office!! LOL...On second thoughts that could cause long term trauma to anyone who sees me...lol..no I'll have to think of something else. I'm going to try your timeline Moose although strangly I'm a bit scared about going back, so much has happened. I guess my feelings are conclusive evidence then that there's much I haven't dealt with...wish me luck! |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 09/21/2005 : 18:04:15
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I've nothing more to add that hasn't been said already - but good luck and keep with it.
I've a lot of admiration for those who stuck with it without any outside support - I wouldn't have done. If you ever feel stuck do come and post on here. |
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anxo69
USA
36 Posts |
Posted - 09/21/2005 : 18:58:44
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| Hello I just ordered audio tapes of healing back pain of the book website amazon . I dont know if you can say that , but they were 16 dollars with shipping. |
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ladyblue
United Kingdom
50 Posts |
Posted - 09/21/2005 : 21:27:29
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| hi anxo69..well that sounds a real bargain to me! Can you poss give a link to the page? Much appreciated |
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pault
USA
169 Posts |
Posted - 09/22/2005 : 04:57:12
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| Try to erase that image that the cyro painted in your brain.They are not Doctors and do not have the training to do anything,but to sell themselves.Many of us have x-rays like yours and we do fine!You will be well if you follow the system and think psychologically and not physically.Read,read,get well soon. Paul. |
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Andrew2000
40 Posts |
Posted - 09/22/2005 : 11:30:10
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Baseball65, thanks for such an inspiring message. I think I needed to hear it today -- I'm 48, have been through many "TMS"-related syndromes in the past related to knees, shoulder, etc. (though I never realized it at the time ... always thought it was just overuse from too much exercise), but when I look back on those episodes and correlate it to what was going on in my life, I can definitely see the mindbody connection clear as day ... I'm now battling a nagging problem with plantar fasciitis ... About two weeks ago, I discovered Sarno's books, have been doing the reading, writing down my thoughts, trying to get back to as much activity as possible and basically reconditioning my brain to understand (once and for all) that this and so many problems experienced in the past were really TMS ...
Also trying (and it's hard sometimes) to keep a really good sense of humor about all this -- the pain sucks, no doubt about it, but once you separate yourself from it and try to "outsmart" it, at least to me it almost becomes like another game or sport, but this one is strictly one that's played and won on the inner-most level of the mind/body ... Anyway, thanks for sharing your victories with us, it's appreciated.
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n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2005 : 02:39:26
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Hi Ladyblue
You have no doubt realised by now that you are not alone. Your story sent shivers down my spine - everything you say mirrors my own experience even the cancer. There is one difference; I was alone and blue in Scotland - same useless attitude to chronic pain conditions from the medical and alternative fraternities, though.
I've got to go off to work now (I can't tell you how good it feels to be able to say that - three years ago I thought I'd never work again), but I'll post again later. One thing I'll say though - things were never quite so bad again after I started to realise that psychology was at the root of my unbearable back pain. It was hard work and I had set backs, but that's all they were, setbacks.
Best wishes
Anne |
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ladyblue
United Kingdom
50 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2005 : 07:31:33
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Hello Anne,
Thankyou so much for writing and I do hope you get some time later to share a little more. It's such an inspiration to hear that you're working Anne, it's been so many years since I've been able to that I'm not sure what I'd do now...but I will do it and ...lol..am not fussy as in what capacity! I have been able over the last few years to do some voluntary/college studies. I did a few years on and off as an adviser for the Citizens advice bureau and studied Counselling and Creative Writing but sadly in the last five years, along with the rest of it, I also lost my partner to Cancer and my father to heart disease, there's really not been a break to deal with it all. Finding this forum, I feel, has marked a turning point and I intend, with great determination, to reclaim my life.
I'll look forward to hopefully hearing from you again Anne, best regards...Jane |
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n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2005 : 10:59:26
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Hi again, Jane
I think you hit the nail on the head when you say that you have had no break to deal with what you have gone through - my back pain forced me to take a break and it sounds as though yours has also. It's a horrible experience; chronic pain so bad that it takes over your life; fills you with fear, dread and hopelessness - well almost - you are still striving to find your way back, so you will do it!
I can't remember where exactly I read it, but somewhere among the many books I read on anxiety/pain conditions - this stuck in my mind, "Once recovery has begun, it is unstoppable," and I think that is true. You'll find, Jane, that as the fear subsides, so will the pain.
Believing that a pain condition is psychological in origin takes a mind-shift. We are used to trusting doctors and other health professionals to diagnose and treat our health problems and for many illnesses, they do that very well. You and I probably have the skill of surgeons to thank that we are still here, so it's hard to accept that the medical profession does not deal well with things like back pain.
You've gone through 'stress overload'. No wonder you are in pain.
I was forced into giving up teaching three years ago. It was the climax of a completely horrible time. Like you I'd had to deal with the deaths and illnesses of members of my family. I was the one that everyone else relied on to be strong - I'll hazard a guess that you were in the same position?
I kept it together until my life was more settled, but that was when I fell apart, physically and emotionally. I saw so many doctors and alternative practioners - nothing helped. Like you I was told the pain came from wear and tear in the lower spine. I got to the point that I was frightened to do much of anything. I couldn't drive, lift anything or do anything but the lightest of housework - to be honest, it got to the point that I used to go to bed at night and think to myself that I wouldn't care if woke up in the morning. Oh yes, and I became addicted to codeine phosphate pain killers as well.
After reading Dr Sarno's book, I got in my car and drove for the first time in seven months. I'd say - go for it, Jane. He was right in my case. He probably is right in your case as well.
My recovery took longer than those described in the book (that's the case with most of us who post here) and I had set backs when the pain bothered me, but it gradually lessened and any attacks I had were short lived. It got to the point where I could just ignore it and it would soon pass.
I returned to work in May of this year - part time in an educational centre. I really love it - just knowing that I can do it is such a good feeling. When you are ready; and don't rush into anything - take however long you need; find something you really want to do.
Best wishes
Anne |
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Alone and blue in England
