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Positive Self Talk - Time to get your life back!

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[quote][i]Originally posted by crk[/i]
[br]After benefiting so much from the other thread on positive self talk and subconscious programming (http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5176), I wanted to start a thread for people to share the positive messages they've used. Go ahead and post yours as a reply to this message! :)

[b]Many of my messages are either taken verbatim or based upon messages from the book: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, by Shad Helmstetter.  If you find this helpful, [u]PLEASE buy the book![/u]  There is a lot of helpful back ground information and a lot more messages in the book, and Helmstetter deserves to receive reward for his work. The paperback is very inexpensive! Thank you!![/b]

You can read the thread mentioned above to get the background on using positive self talk. Basically, your tms is happening for all those reasons you may have uncovered in your Sarno journaling, and because of the way you view your self and your world as a result of those traumas.  If you believe these positive messages are b.s., that's just fine; the negative ones that are filling your head are b.s. for sure, and this is a method of countering them.   The idea is to read each method 3 or 4 times (or record them each 3 times for listening) every day.   
 
I would also like to direct people to a couple of previous threads, in which we discussed why the Sarno treatment alone does not work for a lot of people:
http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5690
http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5694

You are getting tms because of a MENTAL problem. If you do not "fix" your thinking, no tricks will make the pain go away.  Positive self talk is a proven effective way to change your thinking. It is not the only way, but it is a very good one.

One final note... My messages are partly from Helmstetter's book, and partly from my own needs and experiences, and the latter source may make a lot of them irrelevant to most people.  There are quite a few about running, a few about eating, and at least one about being a musician.  I included all these in case they would be helpful to others.  [:)]  Here ya go...

[i]I know that greatness begins in the minds of the great. I know that what I believe about myself is what I will become � so I believe in the best for myself.

I am practical and realistic, and I keep my feet on solid ground. But I also give myself the freedom to live up to my fullest expectations.

I never limit myself by the short-sighted beliefs of others � instead I open myself up to the broad horizons of unlimited possibility.

I have drive, spirit, stamina, and endurance. I have a good strong winning attitude about myself and about everything I do.  I am practical and realistic, but I also believe in the best possible outcome of any situation.

If I have ever had any doubts about myself in the past, today is a good day to put them aside. It�s a good day to throw out any disbelief that ever held me back.

I know that I am headed in the right winning direction, and I look forward and never look back.  I have the ability to focus on one thing at a time, so I concentrate on the job at hand � and I get it done!

Today is one of those days when nothing can stand in my way. When I need extra determination, I�ve got it! When I need more energy and drive, I�ve got it! I�ve got the power to get it done and the patience to see it through, no matter what the job or challenge may be.

Right now, even while I am telling myself these truths about me, I know that I can succeed and I am succeeding.  At this moment, if I think of any challenge in front of me, I know that I will become even more a winner because of it.

I keep my chin up, my head held high. I look, act, sound, think, and feel like the winner I am! Anytime a problem starts to get me down, I get myself right back up! I tackle problems and I solve them. When frustration or defeat threatens me, I just become that much stronger, more positive, better organized, and more determined than ever!

Right now, this very moment, I am capable of giving myself the gift of absolute self-assurance, self-belief, and powerful non-stop confidence in myself.

I know it�s all up to me. One hundred percent! �  every bit of it. All of it is in how I look at it and what I do about it! That�s what winning is. That�s why I am a winner.

I approve of the way I am running my life.

I am brave. I am strong and clever in the face of danger. I am street-smart but never paranoid.

I do not worry. I am in control of my own thinking and I think only those thoughts which create and fulfill the best in me.

My mind is constantly in tune with the positive. It is bright, cheerful, enthusiastic, and full of good, positive thoughts and ideas.

I am able to relax easily and comfortably in my body and in my mind. I am calm, confident, and self-assured.

All of my thoughts create healthiness within me. My mind dwells only on those thoughts which create more harmony, balance and well-being within me and in the world around me.

I am full of resolution and the absolute assurance of the best possible outcome in everything that I do.

I choose to look at the world around me in the bright, healthy light of optimism and self-assurance.

I willingly, and without fail, take care of the duties and obligations which I have accepted for myself.

I control the thoughts I choose. No thought, at any time, can dwell in my mind without my approval or permission.

When I find a vexatious, or mean, or corrupt person in my life, I know how to cope with them.  I do not worry about them, I just get them out of my life as much as possible, and as peacefully as possible.

I have plenty of time to do the things I set out to do.  I never feel rushed.

I enjoy keeping my house clean, picking up after myself, and putting away what I use. Tidying up takes me very little time.

I take full responsibility for everything about me � even the thoughts that I think. No one can share this responsibility with me.

I allow others to accept their responsibilities for themselves.

I enjoy being responsible. It puts me in charge of being me--- and that�s a challenge I enjoy.

I accept the responsibility for living my life in a way which creates my strengths, my happiness and my positive healthy beliefs.

I really am very special. I like who I am and feel good about myself.

Although I always work to improve myself, and I get better every day, I like who I am today.

I am full of life. I like life and I�m glad to be alive.

I am intelligent. My mind is quick and alert and clever and fun.

I have a lot of energy and enthusiasm.

I am humble when interacting with others. I have a quiet self-confidence because I know how wonderful I am, and I do not need to boast.

I�m good at solving problems.  I like challenges and I meet them head on.

There is no problem which I cannot conquer.  My will, my strength, my intelligence, and my determination are always greater than any problem I face.

My past does not equal my future.  I open myself to expect success and happy outcomes. I am comfortable with the unknown aspects of my future.

I am organized and in control of my life. I am in control of myself, my thoughts, my time, my actions and my future.

I know what to do and when to do it, and I do everything I need to do, when I need to do it.

I never waste time � I always �plan� time. And because I plan my time I always have time to do the things I choose to do.

I am always on time. I am always right where I need to be, exactly when I need to be there. Being on time is easy for me and the more I control my time and the more organized I become, the easier it is.

I have an organized and orderly mind. Because I think in an organized way, I conduct my life in an organized manner.

I think in the most positive and productive way at all times and in all things. The way I think is the way  I live --  and I think �right.�

I am the director of my destiny. I know where I am going and I know why I am going there. My life is in my hands and in my control.

I control my goals and the achievement of my goals.

I am in complete control of what I think and how I think.  Therefore, I choose to think only those thoughts which help me and which are of genuine benefit to me.

I have a lot of fun in life.  I know how to make each day an adventure.

I do not fear problems, I solve them.  I do not ignore problems, I confront them. I do not avoid problems, I conquer them.

I know that every problem holds within itself the keys to its own solution. Therefore, the better I understand the problem, the clearer I am able to see its solution.

I am good at breaking large obstacles down into smaller pieces that are easier to handle.  And I never make any problem appear to be larger than it actually is.

I resist and reject unchosen obligations. I choose my thoughts and responsibilities.

I am flexible about outcomes. I can change my routines day to day or week to week to suit the circumstances. I cope with unexpected changes in life gracefully, wisely and cheerfully.

I do not seek a life which is free from all problems. Instead I choose to live a life of finding solutions and enjoying the benefits which those solutions create.

I never worry about the opinions of others. I know that I am magnificent and wise.

I forgive myself for my mistakes. I smile at my mistakes, learn from them, and leave them behind.

I am in control of myself in every way, including what I eat � at all times and in all situations.

Whether eating in or eating out � I really enjoy eating less. I know my body can function well on small portions of nutritious foods.

I eat slowly, savoring my food.

I never feel the need to finish the food in front of me.  I eat only what I should � never one bite more.  I love storing leftovers for later, but I never worry about throwing some food away.

I always have some food before I get too hungry. I always stop eating before I am �stuffed.�

What I eat, and the goals I reach, are up to me. And I give no one the right to hinder or control my success.

When I am finished eating. I feel very satisfied and content. I clean up and eagerly get back to other activities.

Eating well is my life long habit. It is the way I live and a source of great pleasure.

I am not afraid of anything or anyone. I have strength, power, conviction and confidence.

I never fear the people around me.  I am so strong in my sense of self that I only enjoy others, work with them, or avoid them.  No one can bother me because I know who I am and I like everything about myself.

I live in the present, and enjoy the moment. I savor life, and the beauty of the world.

I begin each day with a clear mind and a specific plan to get the most from my time and my effort.   I follow my plan and I reach my goals.

I know how to listen � and I do.  I hear not just the words but the unspoken thoughts which lie behind them.

I enjoy other people without depending on their approval.

I know how to leave opportunities alone as well as take them.  I control my own choices.

I have balance in my life, between work and play, between self, family and friends, between energy and rest, and between goals and contentment.

I enjoy and appreciate my life, even when it is not perfect.

I forgive myself whenever situations don�t work out the way I planned. I do not demand perfection.

Every day, I pursue my goals with determination, and every day I leave time for resting, refreshing myself and taking care of myself.

I allow myself to pause and think before I respond to others. I am free to take my time in any conversation.

I love to laugh and I have a great sense of humor.

I do not demand that life be perfect,  but every now and then, it is!

I state what I want cheerfully and without fear. I accept that life doesn�t promise everything will go smoothly.

I say no to obligations and opportunities that will not be the best choice for me. When I say no, I do so with confidence and peace of mind.

When I think someone is treating me unfairly, I ask questions.

When playing music, I play with absolute concentration on the music. I love having an audience because I am giving them a beautiful gift. I can keep my focus even when there is noise and talking.

I know how to pace myself when I am running. I may get tired, but I always have enough energy to finish the job.

I know how to run very strongly in the last 5 miles of a long race or run.  When I am tired, my energy comes up from deep within me, and I find hidden strength.

When I�m very tired, I know how to energize my running from deep within.

I am in control of my running, and I never give that control over to others. I take responsibility for all of my runs and all of my thoughts about running.

I have the kind of running strength that takes me easily up and down hills. I scarcely feel the hills.

My running stride is fluid, smooth, graceful and strong.

Nothing seems to stop me in life. I have a lot of determination. I turn problems into advantages. I find possibilities in things that other people never give a chance.

I know that I can accomplish anything I choose and I refuse to let anything negative hold me back or stand in my way.

I am not afraid of anything or anyone. I have strength, power, conviction, and confidence. I like challenges and I meet them head one, face to face -- today especially!

I call my shots and no one has to call them for me. I never blame anyone else for the circumstances of my life. I accept my failings and move past them as easily as I accept the rewards for my victories.

I never give myself excuses. I get things done on time and in the right way. Today I have the inner strength to do more than ever.

I am an exceptional human being. My goals and my belief in myself turn my goals into reality.  I have the power to live my dreams.

I am beautiful.  I am kind and cheerful.  I am a good friend, a good mother, and a good wife. I am the person I most want to be.  
[/i]
[/quote]

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T O P I C R E V I E W
crk	Posted - 06/21/2009 : 21:18:16 After benefiting so much from the other thread on positive self talk and subconscious programming (http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5176), I wanted to start a thread for people to share the positive messages they've used. Go ahead and post yours as a reply to this message! :) Many of my messages are either taken verbatim or based upon messages from the book: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, by Shad Helmstetter. If you find this helpful, PLEASE buy the book! There is a lot of helpful back ground information and a lot more messages in the book, and Helmstetter deserves to receive reward for his work. The paperback is very inexpensive! Thank you!! You can read the thread mentioned above to get the background on using positive self talk. Basically, your tms is happening for all those reasons you may have uncovered in your Sarno journaling, and because of the way you view your self and your world as a result of those traumas. If you believe these positive messages are b.s., that's just fine; the negative ones that are filling your head are b.s. for sure, and this is a method of countering them. The idea is to read each method 3 or 4 times (or record them each 3 times for listening) every day. I would also like to direct people to a couple of previous threads, in which we discussed why the Sarno treatment alone does not work for a lot of people: http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5690 http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5694 You are getting tms because of a MENTAL problem. If you do not "fix" your thinking, no tricks will make the pain go away. Positive self talk is a proven effective way to change your thinking. It is not the only way, but it is a very good one. One final note... My messages are partly from Helmstetter's book, and partly from my own needs and experiences, and the latter source may make a lot of them irrelevant to most people. There are quite a few about running, a few about eating, and at least one about being a musician. I included all these in case they would be helpful to others. Here ya go... I know that greatness begins in the minds of the great. I know that what I believe about myself is what I will become � so I believe in the best for myself. I am practical and realistic, and I keep my feet on solid ground. But I also give myself the freedom to live up to my fullest expectations. I never limit myself by the short-sighted beliefs of others � instead I open myself up to the broad horizons of unlimited possibility. I have drive, spirit, stamina, and endurance. I have a good strong winning attitude about myself and about everything I do. I am practical and realistic, but I also believe in the best possible outcome of any situation. If I have ever had any doubts about myself in the past, today is a good day to put them aside. It�s a good day to throw out any disbelief that ever held me back. I know that I am headed in the right winning direction, and I look forward and never look back. I have the ability to focus on one thing at a time, so I concentrate on the job at hand � and I get it done! Today is one of those days when nothing can stand in my way. When I need extra determination, I�ve got it! When I need more energy and drive, I�ve got it! I�ve got the power to get it done and the patience to see it through, no matter what the job or challenge may be. Right now, even while I am telling myself these truths about me, I know that I can succeed and I am succeeding. At this moment, if I think of any challenge in front of me, I know that I will become even more a winner because of it. I keep my chin up, my head held high. I look, act, sound, think, and feel like the winner I am! Anytime a problem starts to get me down, I get myself right back up! I tackle problems and I solve them. When frustration or defeat threatens me, I just become that much stronger, more positive, better organized, and more determined than ever! Right now, this very moment, I am capable of giving myself the gift of absolute self-assurance, self-belief, and powerful non-stop confidence in myself. I know it�s all up to me. One hundred percent! � every bit of it. All of it is in how I look at it and what I do about it! That�s what winning is. That�s why I am a winner. I approve of the way I am running my life. I am brave. I am strong and clever in the face of danger. I am street-smart but never paranoid. I do not worry. I am in control of my own thinking and I think only those thoughts which create and fulfill the best in me. My mind is constantly in tune with the positive. It is bright, cheerful, enthusiastic, and full of good, positive thoughts and ideas. I am able to relax easily and comfortably in my body and in my mind. I am calm, confident, and self-assured. All of my thoughts create healthiness within me. My mind dwells only on those thoughts which create more harmony, balance and well-being within me and in the world around me. I am full of resolution and the absolute assurance of the best possible outcome in everything that I do. I choose to look at the world around me in the bright, healthy light of optimism and self-assurance. I willingly, and without fail, take care of the duties and obligations which I have accepted for myself. I control the thoughts I choose. No thought, at any time, can dwell in my mind without my approval or permission. When I find a vexatious, or mean, or corrupt person in my life, I know how to cope with them. I do not worry about them, I just get them out of my life as much as possible, and as peacefully as possible. I have plenty of time to do the things I set out to do. I never feel rushed. I enjoy keeping my house clean, picking up after myself, and putting away what I use. Tidying up takes me very little time. I take full responsibility for everything about me � even the thoughts that I think. No one can share this responsibility with me. I allow others to accept their responsibilities for themselves. I enjoy being responsible. It puts me in charge of being me--- and that�s a challenge I enjoy. I accept the responsibility for living my life in a way which creates my strengths, my happiness and my positive healthy beliefs. I really am very special. I like who I am and feel good about myself. Although I always work to improve myself, and I get better every day, I like who I am today. I am full of life. I like life and I�m glad to be alive. I am intelligent. My mind is quick and alert and clever and fun. I have a lot of energy and enthusiasm. I am humble when interacting with others. I have a quiet self-confidence because I know how wonderful I am, and I do not need to boast. I�m good at solving problems. I like challenges and I meet them head on. There is no problem which I cannot conquer. My will, my strength, my intelligence, and my determination are always greater than any problem I face. My past does not equal my future. I open myself to expect success and happy outcomes. I am comfortable with the unknown aspects of my future. I am organized and in control of my life. I am in control of myself, my thoughts, my time, my actions and my future. I know what to do and when to do it, and I do everything I need to do, when I need to do it. I never waste time � I always �plan� time. And because I plan my time I always have time to do the things I choose to do. I am always on time. I am always right where I need to be, exactly when I need to be there. Being on time is easy for me and the more I control my time and the more organized I become, the easier it is. I have an organized and orderly mind. Because I think in an organized way, I conduct my life in an organized manner. I think in the most positive and productive way at all times and in all things. The way I think is the way I live -- and I think �right.� I am the director of my destiny. I know where I am going and I know why I am going there. My life is in my hands and in my control. I control my goals and the achievement of my goals. I am in complete control of what I think and how I think. Therefore, I choose to think only those thoughts which help me and which are of genuine benefit to me. I have a lot of fun in life. I know how to make each day an adventure. I do not fear problems, I solve them. I do not ignore problems, I confront them. I do not avoid problems, I conquer them. I know that every problem holds within itself the keys to its own solution. Therefore, the better I understand the problem, the clearer I am able to see its solution. I am good at breaking large obstacles down into smaller pieces that are easier to handle. And I never make any problem appear to be larger than it actually is. I resist and reject unchosen obligations. I choose my thoughts and responsibilities. I am flexible about outcomes. I can change my routines day to day or week to week to suit the circumstances. I cope with unexpected changes in life gracefully, wisely and cheerfully. I do not seek a life which is free from all problems. Instead I choose to live a life of finding solutions and enjoying the benefits which those solutions create. I never worry about the opinions of others. I know that I am magnificent and wise. I forgive myself for my mistakes. I smile at my mistakes, learn from them, and leave them behind. I am in control of myself in every way, including what I eat � at all times and in all situations. Whether eating in or eating out � I really enjoy eating less. I know my body can function well on small portions of nutritious foods. I eat slowly, savoring my food. I never feel the need to finish the food in front of me. I eat only what I should � never one bite more. I love storing leftovers for later, but I never worry about throwing some food away. I always have some food before I get too hungry. I always stop eating before I am �stuffed.� What I eat, and the goals I reach, are up to me. And I give no one the right to hinder or control my success. When I am finished eating. I feel very satisfied and content. I clean up and eagerly get back to other activities. Eating well is my life long habit. It is the way I live and a source of great pleasure. I am not afraid of anything or anyone. I have strength, power, conviction and confidence. I never fear the people around me. I am so strong in my sense of self that I only enjoy others, work with them, or avoid them. No one can bother me because I know who I am and I like everything about myself. I live in the present, and enjoy the moment. I savor life, and the beauty of the world. I begin each day with a clear mind and a specific plan to get the most from my time and my effort. I follow my plan and I reach my goals. I know how to listen � and I do. I hear not just the words but the unspoken thoughts which lie behind them. I enjoy other people without depending on their approval. I know how to leave opportunities alone as well as take them. I control my own choices. I have balance in my life, between work and play, between self, family and friends, between energy and rest, and between goals and contentment. I enjoy and appreciate my life, even when it is not perfect. I forgive myself whenever situations don�t work out the way I planned. I do not demand perfection. Every day, I pursue my goals with determination, and every day I leave time for resting, refreshing myself and taking care of myself. I allow myself to pause and think before I respond to others. I am free to take my time in any conversation. I love to laugh and I have a great sense of humor. I do not demand that life be perfect, but every now and then, it is! I state what I want cheerfully and without fear. I accept that life doesn�t promise everything will go smoothly. I say no to obligations and opportunities that will not be the best choice for me. When I say no, I do so with confidence and peace of mind. When I think someone is treating me unfairly, I ask questions. When playing music, I play with absolute concentration on the music. I love having an audience because I am giving them a beautiful gift. I can keep my focus even when there is noise and talking. I know how to pace myself when I am running. I may get tired, but I always have enough energy to finish the job. I know how to run very strongly in the last 5 miles of a long race or run. When I am tired, my energy comes up from deep within me, and I find hidden strength. When I�m very tired, I know how to energize my running from deep within. I am in control of my running, and I never give that control over to others. I take responsibility for all of my runs and all of my thoughts about running. I have the kind of running strength that takes me easily up and down hills. I scarcely feel the hills. My running stride is fluid, smooth, graceful and strong. Nothing seems to stop me in life. I have a lot of determination. I turn problems into advantages. I find possibilities in things that other people never give a chance. I know that I can accomplish anything I choose and I refuse to let anything negative hold me back or stand in my way. I am not afraid of anything or anyone. I have strength, power, conviction, and confidence. I like challenges and I meet them head one, face to face -- today especially! I call my shots and no one has to call them for me. I never blame anyone else for the circumstances of my life. I accept my failings and move past them as easily as I accept the rewards for my victories. I never give myself excuses. I get things done on time and in the right way. Today I have the inner strength to do more than ever. I am an exceptional human being. My goals and my belief in myself turn my goals into reality. I have the power to live my dreams. I am beautiful. I am kind and cheerful. I am a good friend, a good mother, and a good wife. I am the person I most want to be.
20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First)
inaned	Posted - 08/01/2009 : 13:17:09 I bought it. Just arrived yesterday - "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself". Could not let go of it all day. I keep getting one and the same message these days. Let go, let be, accept, do not be like a tick, let yourself flow with the current, stop fighting at all cost whatever bothers your comfort . Instead, try not to react as your impulses dictate. Have confidence all is just perfect. Crk, thanks! I think it's time for me to let go of the TMS talk. Be well Ina If you have a plane, fly it, don't use it as a scooter.
PRCalDude	Posted - 07/14/2009 : 11:08:39 quote: Originally posted by RageSootheRatio I think "positive self talk" has its time and place (and in the study, there was no initial assessment whether it WAS the right time and place, developmentally/psychologically speaking, for the participants, for example) ... but I think the thinking / beliefs / self-talk has to be balanced off with expression of the FEELINGS that often UNDERLIE the thinking. njoy, I have had good results with the Solution Method approach of journaling (a search of past threads would bring up discussions on that topic .. thanks mizlorinj!). It takes into account both feelings AND thoughts AND beliefs, which can THEN be "tinkered with" to be made reasonable/ believable and affirmed, once both the emotional and cognitive work has been integrated. Someone had also previously posted this link below (thanks! sorry I can't remember who posted this!) which talks about feelings/ emotions (how to understand, identify and release them). A lot of "positive self-talking" can actually be one way to AVOID expressing or feeling our feelings! http://www.mkprojects.com/fa_emotions.html Are you referring to this: http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5190 These people over at the Solution Method want $100 for a 12 week course, which is a scam IMO.
PRCalDude	Posted - 07/14/2009 : 11:03:49 quote: Originally posted by Webdan65 PRCalDude: No - on the scale of 1-10 regarding pain - I'm at a 0.25 and consider myself cured. A twinge here or there which I quickly eliminate is quite tolerable after last years chronic bout of 9 out of 10 pain. :-) However, the book I'm reading isn't necessarily about pain. It's about using your imagination to achieve whatever you want to achieve. Being a self help junkie - I like this kind of stuff and often find ways that one experts thoughts can apply to TMS. When I read njoys post, I thought that the imagination and "theater of the mind technique" might be useful in helping njoy get past her nightmares and lack of restful sleep. In another book One Small Step can Change your Life by Robert Maurer, he refers to the same imagination concept as "mind sculpture" and gives some great examples of it's use. In the end, whether we use self talk (affirmations or positive questions) or these imagination techniques - the end goal is to change our beliefs about ourselves. Often we need to hear things multiple ways for it to "click". The same explanation won't always work for everyone. Thanks for asking how I'm doing PRCalDude. Hope you are doing well too! Dan I'm still having a lot of issues, but the TMS is better. I've been using the techniques in Kehoe's book 2x daily, but I've only given that about 3 weeks, so I'll see where I'm at in another month. The biggest problem with Sarno's books is that he builds up the expectation that you'll be better in a month, and this isn't the case for most people with TMS, so we fall into a cycle of discouragement/self-pity/anger/etc when (almost invariably), we're not over the TMS in a month. That's the problem I initially had, I think.
Webdan65	Posted - 07/13/2009 : 13:50:05 PRCalDude: No - on the scale of 1-10 regarding pain - I'm at a 0.25 and consider myself cured. A twinge here or there which I quickly eliminate is quite tolerable after last years chronic bout of 9 out of 10 pain. :-) However, the book I'm reading isn't necessarily about pain. It's about using your imagination to achieve whatever you want to achieve. Being a self help junkie - I like this kind of stuff and often find ways that one experts thoughts can apply to TMS. When I read njoys post, I thought that the imagination and "theater of the mind technique" might be useful in helping njoy get past her nightmares and lack of restful sleep. In another book One Small Step can Change your Life by Robert Maurer, he refers to the same imagination concept as "mind sculpture" and gives some great examples of it's use. In the end, whether we use self talk (affirmations or positive questions) or these imagination techniques - the end goal is to change our beliefs about ourselves. Often we need to hear things multiple ways for it to "click". The same explanation won't always work for everyone. Thanks for asking how I'm doing PRCalDude. Hope you are doing well too! Dan
PRCalDude	Posted - 07/13/2009 : 13:36:09 quote: Being right in the middle of the Psycho-Cybernetics book, Dan, Does this mean you're still having TMS issues?
PRCalDude	Posted - 07/13/2009 : 13:34:49 crk, "Adrenal fatigue" is, IMO, just anxiety. When you're constantly nervous, your adrenal glands get burnt out until you get rid of the anxiety.
PRCalDude	Posted - 07/13/2009 : 13:33:09 quote: Night is a different matter and its slowly killing me. It's as if my unconscious mind is desperately trying to get through to me. If so, the message is RUN!!! Except there is no place to go. Have you tried interpreting your dreams? Kehoe mentions this in his book. I have a recurring dream that I've recently tried interpreting. I'll see if I did it right (I'm pretty sure I did). It hasn't come back so far.
crk	Posted - 07/13/2009 : 10:34:10 Njoy, I just wanted to mention that one condition that can cause the kind of sleep situation you have is Adrenal Fatigue. There is a 24 hour saliva test that determine whether this is part of your problem. You can read a bit more about it here: http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/adrenal-info/ (scroll down)
RageSootheRatio	Posted - 07/12/2009 : 08:02:50 I think "positive self talk" has its time and place (and in the study, there was no initial assessment whether it WAS the right time and place, developmentally/psychologically speaking, for the participants, for example) ... but I think the thinking / beliefs / self-talk has to be balanced off with expression of the FEELINGS that often UNDERLIE the thinking. njoy, I have had good results with the Solution Method approach of journaling (a search of past threads would bring up discussions on that topic .. thanks mizlorinj!). It takes into account both feelings AND thoughts AND beliefs, which can THEN be "tinkered with" to be made reasonable/ believable and affirmed, once both the emotional and cognitive work has been integrated. Someone had also previously posted this link below (thanks! sorry I can't remember who posted this!) which talks about feelings/ emotions (how to understand, identify and release them). A lot of "positive self-talking" can actually be one way to AVOID expressing or feeling our feelings! http://www.mkprojects.com/fa_emotions.html
Webdan65	Posted - 07/11/2009 : 18:51:58 njoy, I haven't had the night time issues you describe, so I won't even attempt to say anything silly like "I can imagine what you are going through." I can't. I have shared my thoughts a number of times on this forum and to friends of mine. Our beliefs shape our lives. What we focus on magnifies. You get what you expect. If you believe you are broken, you are. If you focus on pain - you will get more of it. If you expect to wake up hurting, you will. In your short few paragraphs, you believe that you will always have these night time problems. You believe "I'm a negative". You seem to expect to have these problems every night despite your attempts to resolve them. Since you have concluded that you are a negative - you will have a very difficult time changing those beliefs. You have concluded that night times are slowly killing you. As a result, you are likely full of negative expectations when you lay your head on the pillow. I am reading a very interesting book on the power of imagination. Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz and Dan Kennedy. It speaks to the power of imagining with vivid detail the outcome which you want to occur. The book talks how the brain cannot distinguish between a vividly imagined event filled with emotion and a real event that actually took place. It also considers the brain to be very much like a computer simply running the programs we give it. Give it success messages - it will deliver them. Give it failure, pain or negative programming - it will deliver those results just as readily all without discrimination. The brain is simply giving us what we expect and ask of it. Being right in the middle of the Psycho-Cybernetics book, I have a suggestion for something you can experiment with... When you lay your head down to sleep. Practice imagining yourself sleeping restfully with happy, peaceful dreams. Put the theater of the mind to work and imagine vividly the happy dreams you will have. Imagine waking fully rested after a sound night of sleep. The more vivid you can imagine this positive scenario - the more likely you are to cause it to occur. And please don't be discouraged - this imagination practice may take some time to settle in. I'm no doctor or scientist - but from a practical standpoint, I believe your chances of a restful night of sleep will be greatly improved if you drift off to sleep imagining the outcome you want instead of worrying about and expecting more of the negative nights from your past. Let me know your thoughts! Dan
njoy	Posted - 07/11/2009 : 14:56:59 I have been trying to reprogram my bad attitude for many years. My recent attempts involve attempting to reduce the number of negative thoughts that run through my head while I sleep. I can keep them from overwhelming me when I'm awake but my nights, especially if I'm already anxious about something, are full of nightmares or nasty, repetitive dreams. The result is that I sleep poorly and often have to sometimes turn on the tv to break the cycle. Also, I wake up too early or too late, sleepwalk, etc. I also have sleep apnea but all this activity makes it impossible for me to wear a CPAP mask. Oddly, my sleeping brain simply refuses to cooperate with attempts to change it. Clearly, it wants to be negative. For example, I read that people with my sleep problems lack DELTA sleep so I bought some cds that claim to synchronize your brainwaves with the desired sleep state. The first night was great -- I awoke more rested than in years. The second night I had a vivid hallucination (no other word for it) that woke me right up with the distinct impression that my brain would do whatever it took to get me the heck out of DELTA. Apparently, some scientists believe that people are born with a tendency toward positive or negative thinking. If so, I'm a negative. I like affirmations and, perhaps because I have fairly high self esteem, they do make me feel better. But the results over time have been slight. I have also tried many other methods, with varying degrees of success. All in all, I think much less negatively when I'm awake and can control it. I use my waking negative thoughts to actually do something to prepare for bad stuff that might happen. I am also never the last person to face up to reality and am usually at my best in a real crisis. So that's good. Night is a different matter and its slowly killing me. It's as if my unconscious mind is desperately trying to get through to me. If so, the message is RUN!!! Except there is no place to go. I have been thinking about getting neurofeedback therapy or perhaps even going to see Dr. David Amen for a brain scan. All very expensive and it scares me to think how my brain will react to repeated interference.
Capn Spanky	Posted - 07/11/2009 : 08:53:11 I would like to see some solid studies and research done on the topic. I tend to believe that positive self talk and reprogramming our subconscious could be highly beneficial. But many of the peddlers delve into the "too good to be true" realm with no real scientific evidence to back them up. That said, it appears that some folks around here have experienced some real benefits from it and I feel that I may have as well.
alexis	Posted - 07/08/2009 : 20:34:53 quote: Originally posted by PRCalDude But the conclusion, "Affirmations R Bad" seems to be rather shoddy. In defense of the researcher, nowhere have I seen her cited as saying "Affirmations are bad". Perhaps you are interpreting this from the BBC article, but in no discussions of this study have I seen a claim that the author says this. Another link: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-skeptical-psychologist/200906/is-positive-psychology-everyone-new-research-raises-doubts That said, I certainly don't think this study is in any way conclusive, but I do think that alternative views should be explored by anyone who is looking for methods of treatment. I'd be very interested to see controlled peer reviewed studies with data to the contrary. Does Helmstetter's book contain such references? I doubt there's a one-size fits all answer, but some general, measurable trends would be nice to get a hold on. We know that cognitive therapy can work under specific controlled conditions for certain psychological conditions -- with a trained practitioner. Thought, importantly, is largely socially constructed, so the participation of one or more other participants could make a large difference in effectiveness for something like this. Your example of "I am beautiful", for instance, is a heck of a lot more believable when said to one by a partner or coworker than to oneself. And this is where the "self" issue I think can be a problem. Maybe positive self-talk does work, but the experience of one practitioner selling a book isn't enough to convince me it works for everyone. And yes, I apply the same standard to Sarno. And like with Sarno I agree that everyone should choose their own tactics, and take what works for them...just don't assume it will work for all.
PRCalDude	Posted - 07/07/2009 : 14:20:00 quote: Originally posted by alexis Just adding this link to represent both sides... Research of of Canada indicating certain types of positive affirmations may hurt more than help some people: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8132857.stm One thing I found interesting about the linked article is how sarnoesque it is in some ways. In trying to hard to force oneself to think positively one might be performing the exact type of psychological twist that brings on TMS. I don't think this research was too useful. The point of affirmations is to affect a long-term change in beliefs. Obviously, if you've thought lowly of yourself in a certain way for a long time, you're going to have a well-worn groove in your head that causes you do continue to do the same. The short-term affects of affirmations might actually make you feel worse because it's attempting to cut a new groove in your head. Kehoe said in his DVD that it takes about 60-90 days to affect a change in beliefs using affirmations, visualizations etc with everyday practice. If you miss a day, you set yourself way back. lastly, rephrasing the affirmation into the form of a question might be a way around the short-term negative affects. But the conclusion, "Affirmations R Bad" seems to be rather shoddy.
PRCalDude	Posted - 07/07/2009 : 14:14:53 crk, The only critique I have is that affirmations should generally be short and never mention anything negative. As Dan mentioned, if you're having trouble just using statements as affirmations, you can re-phrase it into a positive question. I think Kehoe's book has the best treatment of the subject.
Webdan65	Posted - 07/06/2009 : 21:34:40 CRK - great post and a dialog that is well worth having about this topic. I just read the article too. Here's my take... They talk about positive thinking and issuing statements like "I am lovable." This is where that BS meter kicks in and why I'm not 110% sold on using statements to reprogram my mind versus using questions. When you feel unlovable and state. "I am lovable." Your bull**** meter screams at you - NO YOU ARE NOT! When you approach the same lovable concept in question format - you bypass the BS meter and allow your brain to find answers. "Why am I so lovable." Don't answer it consciously - just pose the question to yourself and let your brain go to work. For those struggling with affirmations and positive statements, check your BS meter. How do you feel about the positive statements? If the BS meter is ringing so loudly that you are tempted to just quit the affirmation process. Switch to positive questions instead. Just stay completely away from the toxic brew of negative questions. Why am I so stupid? How come I never get my work done? Why am I such a procrastinator? How come my business sucks? Your brain will find answers to ANY question you pose to it. Be very careful the questions you ask yourself. Thanks again CRK. Great insights and contributions!! Love it. Dan
hsb	Posted - 07/06/2009 : 11:11:06 CRK- excellent, excellent post.
flutterby	Posted - 07/06/2009 : 10:45:11 crk, I agree that positive thinking works well for some people - though I wasn't one of them! You might be interested in this book by Tony Humphreys, 'The Power of Negative Thinking' - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Power-Negative-Thinking-Tony-Humphreys/dp/0717137899/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1246898499&sr=8-1 For me it was brilliant - but I don't suppose it would be everyone's cup of tea. BTW, I don't think Scott Peck advocates 'positive thinking'. He talks about therapy as 're-parenting' as does Tony Humphreys. Maybe we are just reading him differently?
crk	Posted - 07/06/2009 : 09:48:58 Thanks for posting that link, Alexis. I read the article very carefully, and with great interest. I would hate to think I was advocating anything that would harm people here, or cause them deeper pain! I also wanted to see what other viewpoints are out there, so I really appreciate your posting it. If you don't mind, I'd like to comment on a couple of points in the article which lead me to continue feeling confident about the positive self talk method. If I seem critical, Alexis, I hope you will believe me that it is not against you! It's important to me to face and consider any public information about positive thinking and I would not have known of this one without you. :) The most striking point is the fact that these researchers seem to have conducted their work in one or two sessions, a very short time indeed. Positive self talk made a difference in my life right away, but it is not a quick fix. And I may have been one of those individuals who came to it quite ready for change. In any case, I'm still working on it; one doesn't change 50 years of thinking overnight. We spend the first 6-10 years of life learning the messages we tell ourselves, and then we spend however many years thereafter practicing those messages and sealing in the beliefs those messages create. How can a single session of affirmations be expected to reverse our thinking? Secondly, I may be wrong, but I think that the willingness to use affirmations must come from the individual. If you are willing to participate in a study, that is quite a different matter. The experiment seems forced to me. It doesn't surprise me at all that the minds of the participants resisted and contradicted the superficial and probably unwelcome messages. My third observation is that I cannot reconcile the findings of the study with abundant evidence to the contrary. Helmstetter, whom I quoted for this thread, is just one practitioner who has used the technique to change lives, but he - and countless others - have worked with the very population (depressed and low-self esteem patients) whom this study claims are the exception to the rule. People don't go paying for help if they have great lives and great self-esteem. They don't even go looking for self-help books. Then there is the work of Norman Cousins, Victor Frankl (whose setting was a concentration camp for pete's sake! - it doesn't get more depressing than that...), M. Scott Peck, and so many others I have read. They may not all advocate the use of affirmations per se, but their philosophy and their recommendations have the same basis: that we control our own thinking,that we can change our thinking, that what we choose to think can change how our bodies feel, and that happiness can only come from within. I guess I would have accepted the article more if it had treated the methodology of affirmations with better depth and more honesty. Their methodology seems absurdly shallow: the forcing of it, the short term view, the disregard for overwhelming clinical evidence that contradicts their own conclusions. If they had claimed, "We shall now prove that being forced to say something to oneself for 10 minutes does no good and may do harm," it would have been more honest. But they discourage from getting help the very population that most needs a simple, cost-free, and powerful tool for getting well. I think that's very sad.
alexis	Posted - 07/05/2009 : 16:50:33 Just adding this link to represent both sides... Research of of Canada indicating certain types of positive affirmations may hurt more than help some people: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8132857.stm One thing I found interesting about the linked article is how sarnoesque it is in some ways. In trying to hard to force oneself to think positively one might be performing the exact type of psychological twist that brings on TMS.

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