| Author |
 Topic  |
|
mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
 Posted - 10/13/2013 : 01:13:58
|
quote:
Mala .. something I just thought of, which I don't think I ever mentioned...
Another thing that's helped, is having a list of all the emotional issues in my life ... typically long-standing things which I haven't been able to resolve and which I just don't feel good about ... reviewing that list when I am in the midst of an "episode" tends to help. It seems counter-intuitive in a way, but it's actually helpful. hmm.. maybe this tip originally came from one of Dr Sarno's books? I can't quite recall. I guess it is a way of "thinking psychological" AND also "soothing" at the same time.. maybe it's the clarity combined w/ some self-compassion (?)
Anyway, do you have such a list you could review?
RSR I do have a list albeit a small one. A few unresolved things which there is nothing much I can do about since they are so in the past & a couple of things which are annoying but I see as having no solution . And some personality traits which may be contributing to the pain. Its hard to know. So recently when I feel pain I try to go thru that list. It is definitely a method of shifting the focus from physical to psychological.
I am also doing a lot of affirmations & deep breathing.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post. Its much appreciated.
As for your increase in symptoms, are you any better & have you been able to identify the possible source.
Take care
Mala
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
 |
|
|
balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 10/13/2013 : 06:35:39
|
Mala, I'm not sure how you do your affirmation, but I've seen people got the best result when they do like this: Say your affirmation in a calm, confidence, and positive tone of voice. When you say it make sure your face, your whole body express a confidence, positive, and peaceful feeling. Have a half smile on your face, your eyes are bright and self confidence, your muscle relax and have a body posture just like a winner. In another word you have to live what you preached to your mind.
Be the greatest actress you can be. Immerse your body and soul into the role. Some great actor/actresses spend months to study for the role they're going to play. They live, eat, and sleep their roles. They connect their voice, their body, their movement to the characters, to the roles they have to play. We tmser's have to do just like that. For the rest of our life we have to believe in ourselves, in our bodies. God made us to be strong and healthy for at least 100 years.
Don't let the symptoms put thoughts into your mind. You have to be the master of your brain. You have to be the one who control what thoughts can enter your mind and make sure those that entered are all good, wonderful, and positive thoughts.
Victory in thousand of battles is not as great as victory over your mind.
The list you and RSR talked about, in my opinion, you have to be careful about using it because it can help or hurt. I've seen people look at their list, re-lived their "bad" memories and make their symptoms worse. I've also seen people brought back those bad memories, come up with a solution, resolve those past issues and get well.
You have to make sure you have a solution ready for each "bad memory". If it is about something or someone that have done you wrong, be ready to be compassionate and be ready to forgive (for your health). If it is about something you regret, some bad traumatize event... be ready to tell yourself to forget, tell yourself you're safe now and you're in a better place now... be ready with a positive, and peaceful solution to every past issue. Don't go there unprepared, it can have bad consequences if your not prepare to forgive, forget, let go, and tell yourself nothing is important but your peace of mind.
------------------------
No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
|
|
|
RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 10/13/2013 : 07:47:30
|
>The list you and RSR talked about, in my opinion, you have to be careful about using it because it can help or hurt.
YES! thanks balto!
I definitely agree, AND also want to add, that ANYTHING (the "list", affirmations, visualizations, other ways of "thinking psychological", meditation, slowing down, even "Utta utta acceptance" or thinking positively or seeing a TMS doctor or TMS-recommended therapist, etc etc etc)...
.... no matter what, ANYTHING can help OR hurt depending on how it's done, how the mind/body responds.
All are just *techniques* as opposed to the actual GOAL (which is more peace, more love, triggering the ANS, less strain, etc, depending on who is articulating that part.)
If any of the *techniques* trigger more stress, decrease peace of mind, etc then they can hurt and not help. Anything, any *relaxation technique* or attempt at soothing can be done in a strained way.
That is why I believe healing is such an individual path.
Not everything 'works' for every person.
Not every 'technique' is going to bring about the intended result for every person. |
Edited by - RageSootheRatio on 10/13/2013 08:25:25 |
|
|
|
RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 10/13/2013 : 08:19:00
|
Just posted back re Balto's comments, but replying separately to Mala...
>As for your increase in symptoms, are you any better & have you been able to identify the possible source.
Thanks for asking ...! 
My symptoms kind of go up and down ... seem to get some better, and then quite a lot worse. I noticed last week when I was angry about something, that seemed to ramp them up a lot. And then it took days to settle down again. Then I noticed symptoms were better, which ALSO seemed to ramp them up again, somehow (ie just giving them that attention) <sigh> OTOH, when I feel distress or fear about them, that also seems to exacerbate.
As to the underlying source, I think quite possibly it is "anticipatory grief" as I am in the process of losing someone very important in my life. Not totally sure, though.
The "original" TMS problems I had (years ago) are not really an issue any more, but now I seem to have a whole different set of symptoms, so I guess it's just the symptom imperative. I do feel like I'm handling them better though ... mainly not panicked about them (!) which in itself is a HUGE help.
For me, I do believe the key is /will be in the SOOTHING somehow. And yet I am still not very good at that. I have a lot of underlying drives which create internal conflict so I wake up often already in a full-blown stress reaction. I think my TMS goes very deep. hmm maybe I feel a little like Edison, who said he hadn't failed but found 10,000 ways NOT to create a lightbulb. Well I think I've found a lot of ways not to heal my TMS already, but haven't given up hope... Also, I do wonder sometimes whether my TMS IS 'better' for me, than my feeling the emotional pain I'm in... which reminds me of this quote by Rilke:
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
So ... Strain? Finding my "purpose"? Not being unhappy deep inside? More love? Peace? Not intellectualizing /ruminating so much? Relaxation? Triggering the Autonomic Nervous system? I guess I'm even thinking about doing Scott Brady's Pain-Free for Life program, these days! And I've been listening to Claire Weekes lately...
I would definitely like to be rid of these symptoms ... whatever it takes !! If I wasn't in discomfort/ pain, I think I could just get on with and enjoy my life more easily ... but I guess the "generally accepted advice" is just to not take them seriously/ ignore my symptoms (as you note, VERY hard to do at times) and to "think psychologically" and to just get on with and enjoy my life anyway.
It's all still a conundrum for me... I just try to do my best to soothe, moment to moment ...
I do like Andy's idea about doing something physical prior to soothing, which I've never really done, as a practice .... going to try that!
And how are YOU doing these days? Curious to know what the current (or even past) things have truly worked for you... (hmmm I should really write my own list one day, of What has Been Helpful and What has NOT Been Helpful....)
~RSR |
Edited by - RageSootheRatio on 10/13/2013 08:22:38 |
|
|
|
mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 10/15/2013 : 05:12:20
|
RSR, I will reply to your post soon.
Balto
I am pretty much doing the affirmations the way you have suggested. I usually do them in the morning & again the evening when I meditate. It was hard for me in the beginning. I felt like I didn't mean it especially when I tried looking in the mirror but its slowly making sense. I reckon that I have been so negative & worried about my body never getting better & catastrophising about it that I will have to be patient about reversing the process. I know that I have tensed up my muscles a lot over the past years & have also been holding a lot of tension regarding the pain in my mind. So I hope that by being more positive & reversing & letting go of those negative thoughts I can reach a better state of both mind & body & bring some equilibrium back. I need to believe that I can do that.
As for the list, don't worry I don't beat myself up over the past. What was, was. Thats why my list is so short. And who doesn't have a few issues. My main battle is with my fear. My fear of the pain.
Thx for responding & hope u are well.
Mala
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
Edited by - mala on 10/15/2013 05:15:31 |
|
|
|
mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 10/15/2013 : 21:48:46
|
RSR My symptoms are mainly my neck/shoulder head at the moment.
I also have a real physical problem which are my fibroids.
I know I pretty much fear the pain most of the time so I need to work on that. In fact I have a wedding to attend in India in early November. The daughter of my best friend is getting married & all the travel arrangements have been made but the fear is about how i will cope when I'm there. My mom is also going with me and that is making it more difficult since she will be staying with me at my hotel instead of staying with her brother like she normally does.
As to the source I think there may be a few things but it is not clear. These things could be deemed important or unimportant depending on how you view them & also relative to other people's problems.
Your 'anticipatory grief' sounds like it may be the source of your pain. Do you think the pain will in any way change once this person is gone. I'm sorry for putting it like this but since I don't know the situation, I can't seem to phrase it any other way.
As for your internal conflict, are they big issues or small ones or a combination?
I have noticed I am better when I can express my anger. I was always a very angry person till I got married.
I think 'finding purpose' is a difficult one. For example I don't work any more , have a very comfortable life, no need to do much but I keep myself busy if I want to otherwise I am quite happy being idle. I am a good wife, a good sister, aunt & daughter. I remind myself that my purpose was to reach a stage in my life very early on when I could stop working & just enjoy myself. I did that & now I'am not a slave to anyone, or to time. I do not feel the need to find anything more purposeful at the moment but I'm not ruling out any future possibilities.
At the moment I am doing some affirmations & meditation.
Like Andy I too sometimes do something physical. I'll take the car & go for a drive, call someone up for a coffee, take my niece & nephew out to the beach or play some board games with them, put some music on & dance.
Go for a massage.
I also really think reading success stories help. There is this idea that my pain i must be different from others & therefore cant be TMS. When u read the success stories u realise that others were in the same boat, suffering the same symptoms & that helps bring me back on target.
I also do something that may be considered weird. I look up stories of people who are really suffering like a thousand times more than I am & it makes me feel that I am lucky. Puts things into perspective.
Good Luck
Mala
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
Edited by - mala on 10/15/2013 21:52:10 |
|
|
|
altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2013 : 20:02:26
|
Hi Mala - my daughter teaches hot yoga, she was having muscle pain in her calf from dehydration, even though she drinks lots of water.
Some of the other teachers told her to try liquid magnesium chloride.
You apply it directly to the area that is in pain. It helped a lot,
she doesn't get cramps any more. I went in a race on last Sunday,
and had my left calf cramp also, I tried it and it helped. You absorb the magnesium through your skin. May be worth a try if nothing else has worked. Most people are supposely lacking it in our
modern diet. I just read "The Magnesium Miracle" by Carol Dean.
It mentioned that it helps poly cystic ovary syndrome as well.
It is supposed to relax your mind as well, so maybe it can calm mind chatter, that could crank up the tms machine. (just a thought) |
|
|
|
mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2013 : 22:27:01
|
Hi Al, thx for that, I'll see if I can get some. I have heard some good things about Mg. I used to do hot Yoga & loved it. I think what is happening is that when your daughter sweats she loses more than just water & when she drinks more water she is actually losing trace minerals as well. Perhaps sipping an electrolyte drink like Gatorade or Pocari would help as that would replenish salts & minerals too.
take care
mala
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
|
|
|
altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 10/18/2013 : 20:26:24
|
Hi Mala - the same company makes an electrolyte drink called natural calm, that is high in magnesium, and doesn't have too much sugar.
I have tried it, and did notice a calming effect. I sit beside a person at work that steals, and steals work from me, it is helping keep me sane until I find other work. |
|
|
|
njoy
Canada
188 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2013 : 12:05:57
|
Hi, All: I have been trying something new which is working really well for me. Rather than posting constantly I've put the info in my signature, below. I hope it helps. I'm happy to answer questions, as well.
*****
"It's worth considering that tms is not a treatment but rather an unfolding of the self, and a way of living as an emotionally aware and engaged soul." Plum
PLEASE READ THIS!
Peeps, I have been studying and using Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy for several months now and have found it most helpful in digging out what is really going on with me to cause tms symptoms.
Over at tmswiki.org there is soon going to be a mailing list for those who want to try using IFS for TMS. I hope you will consider joining it. You can read about IFS and find a form to sign up here:
http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/mailing-list-for-parts-therapy-tms.2868/
Learning to use the IFS therapy for self help is pretty easy, as these things go. There is a lot of info available on youtube.com and various other web sites. including tmswiki.org. If you search "Internal Family Systems", you'll find it. My recommendation for a book is Self Therapy by Jay Earley which costs less than $ 10 on Kindle (also available in paperback at amazon.com). It's thorough and clearly written, I think.
The mailing list is a great way for us to support each other as we look at how IFS might be able to help.
Finally, best wishes to all who suffer from tms, especially those who are still struggling with symptoms. May we all find peace.
|
|
|
|
RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 10/28/2013 : 21:55:55
|
Hi Mala,
thanks so much for your reply.
I seem to be in a kind of low or confused state lately, so forgive the shortness of this ...
For my internal conflicts, perhaps it just seems all my needs conflict with one another ... hard to juggle both big and little things effectively.
While I do feel "anticipatory grief," once this person is gone, I actually don't have any confidence the pain will go ... but I guess I won't really know until it happens.
Hope things in general are a little better on your end these days!
RSR
|
|
|
|
mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 10/29/2013 : 20:31:54
|
Dear RSR,
I'm so happy to hear from you. I was getting a bit worried and wondering what had happened. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a low phase & hope that things will soon start looking up.
Take care of & be gentle with yourself. Sending lots of positive energy & vibes your way.
Mala
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
|
|
Help please!
