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Northerner
62 Posts |
 Posted - 09/27/2013 : 01:24:59
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One of the keys to TMS cure is not resisting or covering up your emotions.
By the same token, many psychological treatments encourage you to distract yourself when things overcome you.
I’ve just had a horribly traumatic experience, which I can’t get out of my head (that’s why I’m writing this at 2:40AM). I came across a van off the road with the front end on fire. I went into emergency mode, got off the road and called 911 (which took two tries). I ran up to the van, and learned that someone was stuck inside the car. A group of us tried getting her out, spraying it down with a fire extinguisher and bottled water while we did what little we could to get the woman out of the car. She was crying out for help. The fire gradually spread, and eventually the car went up like a bonfire.
I was in another world throughout this, and afterwards. The thought of that woman burning to death is unsettling, disturbing, I don’t know how to describe it – although fortunately the end appeared to be quick when the fire finally reached her. Her quick end doesn’t make it more comforting to me, however.
Two hours later I learned that the woman was a neighbor I’ve known for 15 years – I was unable to recognize her during our rescue attempt.
The thought of her dying this way keeps going around and around in my head, which is completely normal, I guess. I keep seeing the flames, and hearing her cries for help. I’m in a very strange place right now.
(I’m not feeling guilt, if any of you are wondering. We did everything we possibly could, and took more risks than we should have, considering that we were, probably foolishly, way too close to a burning car.)
I’m hypersensitive to events like this now, because my 13-year-old daughter died in an accident two years ago, followed quickly by a flood. However, today’s event has at least momentarily eclipsed these past tragedies, as I keep reliving today’s events.
Deep down, these are all adding up, I’m sure.
I won’t be able to move away from my daughter’s death, and certainly don’t want to forget her. However, I’d like to move away from reliving today’s events over and over. Many psychologists recommend distracting yourself to move away from unpleasant events and unpleasant thoughts. Yet TMS symptoms are attributed to burying disturbing emotions.
I was thinking of trying to take a sleeping pill, and trying to distract myself so I can get some rest. But I was also thinking that if I don’t face this head on, some TMS symptom will show up (I have some relatively minor and short-term TMS symptoms I’ve been battling – minor dizziness and sciatica, which are both improving, and I don’t want them to get worse).
This may be one of the more bizarre posts you’ve seen on this board, or that I’ve seen for that matter, but I was wondering if anyone has any advice on coping with emotions that you really don’t want to keep front-and-center.
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Beefy
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - 09/27/2013 : 06:28:37
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| Hey man, definitely sucks for you to have to see something like that. I'm sure it feels very heavy on you. I'm sure there are others with better advice than me since I'm real new to this stuff. When something is really bothering me I have learned to let myself really feel it and cry...letting myself cry was rediculously hard for me, I never cried when my dad died because I was taught men don't cry growing up. Maybe its the same for you maybe not but I always feel better after so I thought maybe I would share. |
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Northerner
62 Posts |
Posted - 09/27/2013 : 07:50:53
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Thanks for the advice on crying - I was in too weird a state last night to cry. Writing a letter to the deceased helped a little, writing/journaling helped a little. Eventually, half a sleeping pill kicked in while I was reading a book about baseball, and I got some degree of sleep. Sleep did make a differnce in stopping the cycle in my head.
I would guess that a lot of TMS sufferers don't get proper sleep, and sleep affects your mood a lot. |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 09/27/2013 : 09:14:26
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Words cannot describe what you must be going through.
I would strongly suggest that you talk to a professional therapist. |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 09/27/2013 : 11:25:14
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Northerner .. not sure what to say, but to send sincere condolences to all involved.
This latest event would be traumatizing to anyone, and I think what you are experiencing is probably completely normal and to be expected. I suspect that it will be a combination of distracting yourself and expressing emotions and experiencing flashbacks ... the whole nine yards of any grieving process, compounded by the tragedy / trauma involved.
I do believe it is important to take extra special care of yourself in grief - sleep, eat, drink fluids, let your doctor know, friends know, get support, (professional can be helpful), etc etc.
Sometimes when I have been extremely upset, my TMS symptoms have gotten better temporarily during those times...
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Northerner
62 Posts |
Posted - 09/27/2013 : 18:10:36
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Thanks to all. By the way, I have been meeting with a therapist since my daughter died, but at 3AM this morning, it made more sense to express myself on this forum. A kind of journaling, I guess.
The comment about distracting myself, expressing emotions and experiencing (unwanted) flashbacks probably makes the most sense. There's only so much someone can do all at once.
And the advice about taking care of myself makes sense. I have cried a few times today, have talked to lots of friends, but haven't eaten much or exercised (although I'm going to exercise after I read this). |
Edited by - Northerner on 09/27/2013 18:12:51 |
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Resisting emotions versus distracting yourself
