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stayfit65
54 Posts |
 Posted - 07/26/2013 : 10:34:11
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Hey guys,
We recently hired a girl at work who is 15 years my junior and she is so patroniizing and condescending in the way she speaks to me. I think it is affecting my tms healing progress. Anybody got any tools for how I might manage this situation? I don't want to leave my job, but I also want to get over this pain. Any books, tapes, etc. Would be helpful. She just got a promotion over me, and since then it has gotten worse...
Thx guys
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2013 : 11:08:53
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| Use it as a way to your healing. Practice forgiveness. It'll be hard at first but later you'll thank me for this advice. |
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icelikeaninja
USA
316 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2013 : 11:47:52
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When I deal with people that are so difficult I come to an understanding that they are not well mentally and to not let it affect my work or home life.
The idea is to keep home and work seperate. But also understand you do not like this person and confront your anger in the form of journaling.
It is easier to forgive someone if they are sick especially in the head. Most people you confront in life have some form of mental illness even us. Maybe she had a bad childhood and that is my rationization for forgiveness. |
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stayfit65
54 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2013 : 12:34:19
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Funny, she did have issues growing up, which she shared when she first came to work there. I did just start journaling about it. It wasn't so bad until she got this promotion. Maybe she is trying so hard to prove herself to fill some void...don't know. I just know that my boss thinks she can do no wrong.
I think she has said derogatory things about me to my boss. It is for that reason I am having a hard time being forgiving for someone who is lying about me.
I work for a very small company where everybody is nosy. But the good thing is I am not the only one she has done this to, so I guess that is some comfort. |
Edited by - stayfit65 on 07/26/2013 12:35:54 |
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icelikeaninja
USA
316 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2013 : 13:27:49
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Stayfit,
Google Borderline Personality Disorder. I have experience with this because these are the only types of women I seem to attract these days.
Upon our first date they would mention how crappy their parents and ex boyfriends were and look for someone to validate their feelings. So beware if she started to form groups or cliques. If you do some research and think this may apply to her I'd use some coping methods on how to respect your own boundaries so they do not walk all over you and at the same time they learn to respect your boundaries.
"walking on eggshells" is a good book for this.
Your personality might be enabling this attitude from her, I find that TMS'ers attract these types of people.
Men get this disorder as well and my sister attracted a husband who was diagnosed as Borderline. He ended up cheating on her a month after my niece was born with a woman who lived across the street.
So my point is, journal, understand this person might be ill, read some books or websites if you think this woman is sick and most of all research how to protect yourself from people like this so they respect you and so it does not cause so much internal grief.
Ace is right about practicing forgiveness but if you research these types of people it might make it easier to do so thus causing a decrease in your pain. |
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condescending and patronizing at work
