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icelikeaninja
USA
316 Posts |
 Posted - 07/03/2013 : 08:13:00
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These past few days have been close to perfect but sometime yesterday the pain came back at a higher intensity.
My main issue is the fear, when not in pain I am in constant fear and I am always freaking out.
When my therapist comes back next week hopefully I can touch base because I was almost certain i would be writing a success story with the way I have been these few days |
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icelikeaninja
USA
316 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2013 : 09:22:59
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| It started escalating when I said bye to my mom and got home. I used some reconditioning techniques as I was moving my mom. Seems it picked up heavily since I got home and was faced with all my responsibility again. Looking up symptoms yadda ya |
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eric watson
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2013 : 10:12:31
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after you do have your success story icelikeaninja
im sure it will be around several months with no pain
then you will write and tell how you've been pain free
and you'll give advice on how you've come to defeat fear
and control anger - also how you've dealt with repression
then your journey will begin to retain your healing
there will be times that the pain or issue will still come back
for a few days at a time or hours.
This is when you'll see that staying course
and not really worrying if its going to
leave again or when its going to come back
is the most important part of staying healed
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Edited by - eric watson on 07/03/2013 10:14:51 |
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icelikeaninja
USA
316 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2013 : 11:03:46
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Eric,
Thanks I know I will be writing one. I feel like I uncovered the beginnings of a covert operation. There is no rhyme or reason to it at this point. I am happier these days because it was so awesome to have such complete and total relief . The other day when other things were trying to come back I immediately shut them down.
I just keep going back to my doctors words telling me this is a pyschlogicslly induced thing. He was right about my pains in the past. He even went over my other doctors and was right when they were wrong.
Need to break these trust issues
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tmsjptc
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2013 : 12:32:13
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| Ice, I went through this as well. Even when I was feeling well, I would be fearful of pain coming back. Dr. Sarno talks about this actually taking a little longer to go away than the pain itself. I believe he is right. But, I noticed a rapid improvement in not having the fear after I read Hope and Healing For Your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes. That may have just been my experience, but I thought I'd let you know in case you wanted to read it. It isn't specifically a Sarno type TMS book, but neither is it contradictory. She just helps you understand that you don't need to be fearful and gives you ways to overcome fear. |
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icelikeaninja
USA
316 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2013 : 13:18:39
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I will check it out. I see a lot of it mentioned on these boards.
My thing is I'd like to enjoy life in my pain free moments instead of worrying about another attack .
When the pain ceases my brain automatically goes to advanced stressors in my life. It just doesn't seem fair to myself to go through that extreme psychosis.
Is the need for repression so great that I can't enjoy pain free moments? |
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plum
United Kingdom
641 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2013 : 14:31:25
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Maybe it's not repression toots.
Roll around in the good feelings. Lap them up. Latch onto them. Feed us the joy with your fingers. Your success story is on the horizon. Here's to you my dear.
(and Claire Weekes is Queen of Conquering Fear. Most excellent reading awaits you). |
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icelikeaninja
USA
316 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2013 : 17:12:34
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Nice! What you guys say all makes sense. Even before the pain I was living like a zombie. My emotional pain was so bad after my break up that I feel as if I invited the Tms pain back in!!
I fully understand how it came back.
I was reading the review for Claire's books and they are all do positive. More doctors seemed hip to the mind back in those days. Dr.sarno mentions this.
Is it easier to apply her ideals on anxiety than it is Sarnos for Tms? |
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gailnyc
USA
80 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2013 : 20:02:51
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| I think it's easy to see anxiety AS TMS. Weekes writes about the physical manifestations of anxiety and panic--it's not hard to interpret your own pain as similar to the pounding heart, churning stomach, shaking hands etc. that she describes. Her goal is to get you to stop feeling fear when you feel your pain. |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2013 : 20:19:38
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My issue is also with fear. I am so crippled by it at the moment that I can't think straight. My neck & jaw & head have been hurting & i find myself focussing on it every single moment to the point where I am going crazy. I have been lying in bed not wanting to talk or do anything. I am exhausted by thinking about it all day & cant seem to stop. All I think is this is another symptom that won't go away. My heart sinks, I feel weepy & I just want everything to be over with. I hate living like this. I honestly can say I am utterly depressed, feeling very low, despondent. I can't seem to get myself out of this. I can't plan anything, don't want to see anyone.
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
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icelikeaninja
USA
316 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2013 : 09:16:23
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Interesting, this is the only forum I go to but it seems she is mentioned a lot on other pain forums. I am seeing such great reviews other than the people who claim there anxiety is organic.
This looks like a must read
quote:
Originally posted by gailnyc
I think it's easy to see anxiety AS TMS. Weekes writes about the physical manifestations of anxiety and panic--it's not hard to interpret your own pain as similar to the pounding heart, churning stomach, shaking hands etc. that she describes. Her goal is to get you to stop feeling fear when you feel your pain.
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gailnyc
USA
80 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2013 : 15:46:13
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| Mala, that sounds awful. Have you tried contacting a TMS coach? I am working with one and he is helping me cope with moments when I become really obsessed with the pain. |
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plum
United Kingdom
641 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2013 : 16:00:23
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Ice baby, in so many heartbreaking ways, we are all walking wounded. Everyone of us has a story that would bring a rowdy bar to silence if we told it from the heart, but we don't seem to get to that authentic point in relating before going around the houses of the mind. One day, and usually after a fair amount of rough and tumble, we have the choice to fully inhabit our lives and our selves just the way they are. Including all our emotional sh*t. The tussle is part of the fun of being human.
Claire Weekes should be canonised. I'm also on the home run and find her words the perfect fusion with the best of Sarno. I downloaded Hope and Help for your Nerves. It's cracking. They don't make women like her any more and the race is less for that. I'm finding her advice reliably helpful for breaking conditioning and sensitisation (don't be bluffed by a feeling...). Happy Mantra. And gen up on Ace's Keys. They are the mutts nuts. |
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plum
United Kingdom
641 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2013 : 16:10:10
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| Mala, I've pretty much lived in that hellhole for the last few years so I feel for you love. What's the state of play right now? Let's tease this apart. When did you last see a doctor and what did they say? |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 07/05/2013 : 07:52:31
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mala ... I do think fear is THE. WORST. !!
and it sounds like you have been in a very very painful state with it.
you have support here, though.
btw, I've been reading an unusual book by Augusten Burroughs... not his usual memoir, but a self-help type of genre book, and there's a chapter called "Why Having It All is Not". He writes in part: "This is the problem w/ 'having it all': there is nothing left to want ... I've known several people who 'have it all' and wonder why they feel stagnant in life. When you do have fairly bottomless financial resources, a family, friends, you feel unjustified and spoiled for harboring any sort of dissatisfaction. I don't believe you can feel any deep satisfaction in your life unless your life contains restless areas, holes, imperfections...."
Anyway, I don't know how much of that I agree with (seeing as I've never gotten anywhere close to 'having it all'!) but fear, pain, angst around it ... there is something to be said for the non-material aspects of life: peace of mind, authenticity, balance, etc ... and HA! SOOTHING  laughter, lightness-of-being, LOOooooVE !!! ~RSR
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EileenTM
92 Posts |
Posted - 07/05/2013 : 09:28:51
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Mala, This post just made me remember a passage in Sarno's The Divided Mind about a woman who had tms and lead a very privileged life. She had a lot of money and did not have to work. Bottomline was that she had strong unconscious feelings about her "lack of purpose" in life and that lead to symptoms.
May or may not be your situation, but certainly worth looking into.
Do you have that book?
Don't lose hope. I have been there, too. I think the advice on this board that helped me the most to implement tms theory is Balto's where he talked about re-engaging in your life despite symptoms. I used to sit around and wait for the symptoms to disappear before living my life. When I did the reverse is when my symptoms went away.
Engaging in activities I enjoy really helped. Plus when I learned that the brain can only focus on one thing at a time, I understood that if I was playing golf and thinking about that, I could not be obsessing on whatever tms symptom was happening at the time.
Attention on the symptom is what keeps it going.
Good luck. It is worth learning to master this, as it will really improve the quality of your life. |
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icelikeaninja
USA
316 Posts |
Posted - 07/05/2013 : 13:22:43
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| Lack of purpose! I don't remember reading that. I've had that feeling for two years. |
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gailnyc
USA
80 Posts |
Posted - 07/05/2013 : 20:37:08
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quote:
Originally posted by plum
[(don't be bluffed by a feeling...).
I find myself saying this to myself throughout the day. |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 07/05/2013 : 21:28:06
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gailnyc, unfortunately no tms docs/coaches here.
plum went to see a doc bout 3 weeks ago. Took xrays & said nothing much except the usual, some degeneration in neck facet joints & straightening of the neck. He wants me to do an MRI and then see pain specialist. Haven't done that yet.
RSR & EileenTM , I hear you both & understand what u r trying to say. I think I have always had it all & it hasn't been a problem finding focus in life. I have had a pretty fulfilling life without ever being overly ambitious & have done various things to prove that I can do them. I have my mom whom I'd like to spend more time with, take her abroad more before she gets too old. She's 80 now & she worries about me a lot which is distressing for me. I spend quality time with my husband & my sister & I am a second mom to my niece & nephew.
I have never been one to feel guilty about being privileged becoz i think I have been able to improve quality of life for others around me not only my friends & family but those who work with or for me.
Eileen its great that you were able to engage in activities & stop obsessing about your symptoms. Can you pls give me some advice. I am having difficulty in that area. have never been one to engage in sports though. Nowadays I find even reading a book to be a chalenge.
Thx
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
Edited by - mala on 07/05/2013 21:36:49 |
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 07/05/2013 : 22:25:17
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Hi Mala - so sorry to hear of your pain. I have been trying to think of what else helped me, I think that next to Dr. Sarno, that contemplation and meditation helped the most. Self realization is the main thing.i can't explain it, I can just say it did bring a big relief. Not long after my pain went away, my doctor told me I was dying, with no explaination. I was very much helped by the fact i knew I was more than this physical life. I was informed i only had 5 years to live - 5 years ago. I still have no symptoms.I have blood cancer. I don't worry about it anymore. But pain is a different story, it keeps you focused on the constant, nagging discomfort.
Anyway, if nothing else, my best wishes to you. |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 07/06/2013 : 04:14:06
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Al, thank you so much for your concern & wishes.
I am gutted to hear about your blood cancer but I don't understand how the doctor gave you no explanation. Do you take anything for it?
I will say a prayer for you dear Al. A prayer that you live another 50 years at least.
Bestest
Mala
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
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