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njoy
Canada
188 Posts |
 Posted - 05/12/2013 : 10:05:21
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Peregrinus said (on another thread) that "The conflicts that participants of this forum reveal tend to involve their (adopted and false) identity. The conflict is simply that they are not who they think they are. They subconsciously realize they are phonies and the pain rescues them from having to face that ugly fact.
Try to accept the pain (I know it is difficult) and concentrate on uncovering the conflict(s)."
I have spent all my life trying to be "real" -- often far too real, some say. I think that is one of my false identities. Would love to hear more about this topic. It seems to me that we can try to be real but is it ultimately possible given all the defences that come with the territory? If others have experiences and wisdom to share, I'd be glad to hear them.
*****
"It's worth considering that tms is not a treatment but rather an unfolding of the self, and a way of living as an emotionally aware and engaged soul." Plum |
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pspa123
672 Posts |
Posted - 05/12/2013 : 10:23:58
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| Trying to be real sounds like an inherent contradiction. |
Edited by - pspa123 on 05/12/2013 10:24:29 |
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njoy
Canada
188 Posts |
Posted - 05/12/2013 : 11:02:57
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Good point. So if "trying" is the wrong term, how can we become real (ie: shed the false selves, the masks that protect us from a painful world)?
*****
"It's worth considering that tms is not a treatment but rather an unfolding of the self, and a way of living as an emotionally aware and engaged soul." Plum |
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plum
United Kingdom
641 Posts |
Posted - 05/12/2013 : 11:53:52
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May I preface this by saying the internet ate my original post. Ah well. We go again.
I have authenticity on my mind having watched the video mentioned in my Sherlock post. In sum there is a correlation between protecting/hiding/denying the real self and disease. How well tmsers know this currency.
Peregrinus' comment suggested that many are unaware or naïve and certainly there is truth to this. Many people go to their graves as ignorant as in their youth, and surely this is one of the essential differences between old people and elders.
With this in mind, we also need to round-up the less savoury psychological outcasts; aka our shadow, and welcome that home. We are all Jekylls and Hydes. But how much of the Self do we let out to play socially? Good manners, polite society and roles all have their rules, no matter that we may kick them off like uncomfortable shoes behind closed doors. Is this who we are? The real self, the one free of censor and pseudo-self-disclosure?
Or could it be the poets vision?
The soul?
And what does that look like in an everyday life?
Can we really trade our Faustian dramas for our dreams?
I think your questions are particularly relevant in a cyber culture where social networking and marketing the personality and self as commodity is the norm. The confessions, the sharing, the revelations are all standard fare but are they real? Are they authentic? Erich Fromm wrote a brilliant book called 'To Have or To Be?' He asked can we seek and find truth by dismembering life?
Perhaps we need to invite both intimacy and sincerity into the equation, and clothe them all in the skin of paradox.
As a Zen teacher once said in answer to the question "Who am I?"
"Who wants to know?"
Perhaps authenticity is a life where we are not on guard, not pleasing or proving, having or trying, simply being. |
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Peregrinus
250 Posts |
Posted - 05/12/2013 : 12:22:50
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Plum:
To amplify your comments I have noticed that there are quite a few participants in this forum (I won’t mention any names) that offer an emotional profile that sounds like a resume. “I’m successful, rich, happily married, I have wonderful loving children, I swim the English Channel every year, I’ve traveled the world over, I eat in good restaurants, etc.” They are only fooling themselves. These people seem so encased in their false identities, the source of their conflicts in the first place, that you might as well be talking to a stone wall.
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plum
United Kingdom
641 Posts |
Posted - 05/12/2013 : 12:47:12
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Peregrinus, yes. It's an interesting form of propaganda. Given the nature of the forum a delving into the heart of the self or situation is not unique, though it takes courage and insight. It would be so easy to wheel out my persona here but it would be paper-thin and somewhat contemptuous. My life is not a raging tragedy but a human one, with conflicts that I am trying to uncover and understand. Ultimately we're all engaged in this, at some level, else we wouldn't be here at all.
In the original post that I lost, I did say something about recognising and owning different parts of ourselves. Doubtless a process. As I said previously, I was blind to so much which I'm sure others saw clearly. And still am and they still do. |
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Being Real
