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In my opinion Kalo, your nervous system is very sensitve. And I think you need to build resistance in it (which to be honest is a very hard process, but doable if you keep practicing). Obviously you are angered by your dad, but try to put a link with your symptoms after you dad says something you dont like etc, Try to be conscious of these things and next time he does it try not to let it simulate your nerves, say your affirmations and desensitize yourself. You will want to react like you did, bc it is easier, but dont go with it and act the opposite once your aware. Affirmations really do help, but only over time after consistant use. Good Luck

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ACE, GREAT ADVICE!!!!! So, you see is it really my Subconcious??? OR is it my current stressors???

I really appreciate BOTH sides of the subconcious and current stressors!!!

I still love your KEYS, ACE, I am TRYING like heck to not stress out...REPROGRAMMING is TOUGH, but, I am determined...


Thanks,

Kalo

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Originally posted by chickenbone

I agree with you Eric. First of all, a lot of people dislike talk of the unconscious. It is difficult to even describe the unconscious because many people have different concepts of it. Some think of it as just any material that is not immediately available to the conscious mind. They think of it kind of like a quantum computer complete with deep storage. Others think of it as more of an intelligent entity in a more organic sense. However you want to think of it, I find that people who resist the notion of it are basically "control freaks". They cannot deal with the idea that there maybe parts of their own mind that they do not have immediate control over. I think these people can be extremely resistant to any type of psychological therapy.

I think that depth psychology is not so much about routing around in the murky past and digging up repressed material as it is about discovering very primitive belief systems that may be operating under the level of conscious awareness. This is what I think of as "emotional truths". These primitive belief systems may be greatly at odds with the conscious mind and can greatly interfere with one's life in the present. Often, for healing to happen, these need to be integrated with the conscious mind. The conscious mind needs to at least be aware of them. Our very early life experiences often dictate how this will go. This is hard for me to describe but maybe I can provide an example from my own past.

Because I suffered some physical and emotional abuse as a child and my emotional needs were not met, I grew up regarding the world as a dangerous place. Because of my fear and small size, I became the perfect object for other older children to mercilessly terrorize and pick on. I did not think well of human nature in general. Many early life experiences fed and enhanced this growing belief system under the surface. But I managed to cope with it by gradually repressing it. When I became an adult, my conscious mind wanted to be loved and accepted by others and people were really nice to me. It was a very different world from the world in which I grew up. But that early belief system was still there repressed under the surface. And it caused problems in my life. I would often over react emotionally to certain triggers and not know why. I know this sometimes puzzled and concerned people in my life who loved me like my husband, husband's family and my friends, and even some members of my own family.

Unfortunately, this repressed belief system was reinforced because of several experiences that happened when I was a young adult in my 20's. When I was 22, I was the victim of an attempted rape. I had moved out of the suburbs where I lived with my parents to an apartment in a not so good area of the city near the university I attended. Because I was not on good terms with my parents, I was on my own financially and so was attending school full time and working in a restaurant full time as a waitress. One night I got out of work about 12:30 and was walking to the bus stop. I could not afford a car. While I was walking, a car quickly pulled over to the curb, a guy got out and dragged me into a car. He held me down in the back seat by my wrists and when I realized what he intended, I tried to reason with him. I couldn't talk him out of it. He told me he would let me go unharmed if I just cooperated. At that point, I could feel in my mind the switch happening. The "other" hidden entity had taken over. It did not believe him, had no intention of being raped, and was totally focused on getting away even if it meant hurting him badly. And that is exactly what it did. He was no match for it. (from what I remember, he did not have a weapon)I pretended to be cooperating, bit him hard and gave him an unbelievably hard kick in the groin. As I leaped out of the car to get away, I could hear him vomiting and doubling up with pain in the back seat. I came away with only a black eye (he had punched me during the dispute when I tried to talk him out of it). He needed medical attention, not me. Anyway, as you can imagine, this primitive belief system became even stronger.

Unfortunately, it was strongly reinforced 2 other times while I was still in my 20's. I was robbed at gunpoint while working in the restaurant. Again, I felt this entity take over. I felt this cold, calculating calm come over me again while a masked man pointed a gun at me. I calmly gave him all the money in the register, being very careful to do nothing to "set him off" because customers were also in danger (he robbed all the customers also) and then he quickly left. The police did catch him and I identified him in a lineup. Then again, one night (I was 27 at the time), I was walking from my house to my car to go to work. On the sidewalk approaching me were 2 guys. My conscious mind was not concerned and resolved to just pass them on the sidewalk. However, as they approached within the length of one house, alarm bells started going off in my head. It was really deafening, I could not ignore it. So I walked out into the street to pass by them. As I did this, one of them came out into the middle of the street after me, but was not able to grab me because I was prepared for it. I ran for my car and got in and locked the door. I was afraid to go back to the house to call the police, so I drove to work and called the police from there. It turned out that these 2 guys were committing a mini crime spree in the neighborhood that was normally fairly quiet. They had raped one young woman in an alley and beaten her badly, robbed an elderly lady, knocking her down so that she broke her hip and did some other things I don't remember. I was apparently the only one who had escaped them. Anyway, I spent most of the night in the police station looking at mug shots. the police drove me home that night, took me to work the next night and again drove me home. To my knowledge, they were never caught because if they had been, I would have called to court as a witness.

This just goes to show you how your unconscious mind can operate. I think all these experiences have contributed to my TMS. I never talk to anyone about this stuff, but I guess I am better able to come to grips with it now. You can probably imagine how I am feeling while regurgitating all of this right now, but I am OK. Not to long after that my mother passed away and I moved out of the city and joined up with my father in the suburbs of another city.

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Originally posted by kalo

Chickenbone,

Wow, reading the difficulties you had in life makes me feel like my problems are nothing...

The way you describe yourself, wanting to be loved, and for people to like you sounds just like me...

Can, I ask, did you unlock your unconious to make the TMS go away?

I agree, I am programmed with a set of belief systems as well....We learned this as we are young...

Kalo

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