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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
 Posted - 02/19/2013 : 09:48:17
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| I feel a lot of people here are not OK with doing nothing. They have to be doing something, looking somthing up, practicing something, going somewhere etc. This is part of your problem and you need to decondition this urge. Practice by actually doing nothing for a prolonged peroid of time on your own accord and use your affirmations. |
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plum
United Kingdom
641 Posts |
Posted - 02/19/2013 : 10:13:46
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Ace1, I am a Master of the art of spiritual idleness and couldn't agree more.
Here's a charming site on which my faith is based.
http://idler.co.uk/ |
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gigalos
Netherlands
310 Posts |
Posted - 02/19/2013 : 10:17:45
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| It's not only an urge, it also what the outside world is expecting you to do... |
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All1Spirit
USA
149 Posts |
Posted - 02/19/2013 : 10:39:36
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Post I found
Many children, at some point, transmute the flight urge into the running around in circles of hyperactivity, and this adaptation “works” on some level to help them escape from uncontainable fear. This then, is often the progenitor for the later OCD-like adaptations of workaholism, busyholism, spendaholism, sex and love compulsivity and other process addictions. An overly busy adult is usually a wounded child and also one who can not rest until tasks are completed.
In some patients there is a mirror side of this wounding, the adult who procrastinates so nothing they do can be evaluated....and often stays busy with routines that lead no where. These people seldom accomplish much in their lives even though they see themselves as having great abilities. This is yet another delusion to protect the wounded child.
A final scenario describes the incipient codependent child who largely bypasses the fight, flight and freeze responses and instead learns to fawn her way into the relative safety of becoming helpful. She may be one of the gifted children of Alice Miller’s Drama Of The Gifted Child, who discovers that a modicum of safety can be purchased by becoming useful. Servitude, ingratiation, and forfeiture of any needs that might inconvenience and ire the parent become the most important survival strategies available.
Boundaries of every kind are surrendered to mollify the parent, as the parent repudiates the duty of being of use to the child; the child is parentified and instead becomes as multidimensionally useful to the parent as she can: housekeeper, confidante, lover, sounding board and to prevent parental ire becoming “good.” These children, especially girls often become religious adherents that provide them with dysfunctional beliefs that they are again “good.”
"Around and Around the Circle We Go....
The Answer Sits In The Middle and Knows..." |
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pan
United Kingdom
173 Posts |
Posted - 02/19/2013 : 12:31:45
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quote:
Originally posted by gigalos
It's not only an urge, it also what the outside world is expecting you to do...
Oh yes, from cradle to grave society and all of it codes and memes both overtly and insidiously drum in the message that we have to be moving forward at all times.
This is a huge part of the problem with stress illness I think. We apply all our old 'proactive' and 'dynamic' problem solving resources to it and totally forget to comprehend that this is what caused us issues in the first place.
BTW, if anyone wants to follow me on twitter my username is idlehiker...make of that what you will. ;)
Wake me up with your amphetamine blast
Take me by the collar and throw me out into the world
Rock me gently & send me dreaming of something tender
I was brought here to pay homage to the beat surrender
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plum
United Kingdom
641 Posts |
Posted - 02/19/2013 : 13:08:39
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pan, you'll do for me. Great moniker.
Everyone, I highly recommend 'How to be Idle' by Tom Hodgkinson.
Superb book and the ideal tonic.
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 02/20/2013 : 10:37:45
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All1Spirit wrote:
quote:
Post I found
Many children, at some point, transmute the flight urge into the running around in circles of hyperactivity, and this adaptation “works” on some level to help them escape from uncontainable fear. This then, is often the progenitor for the later OCD-like adaptations of workaholism, busyholism, spendaholism, sex and love compulsivity and other process addictions. An overly busy adult is usually a wounded child and also one who can not rest until tasks are completed.
Just to give credit where credit is due... that excerpt from the post that All1Spirit found is from this larger article (about Fight Flight Freeze and FAWN) by therapist Pete Walker:
http://www.pete-walker.com/codependencyFawnResponse.htm
(Alix and chickenbone and others... you're welcome! thanks for the feedback .. glad you found the article helpful, as I did.)
RSR |
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Doing nothing
