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avik
128 Posts |
 Posted - 02/09/2013 : 18:25:23
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I am a long time TMS sufferer (15+ yrs; I have suffered through every equivalent you could possibly imagine) and about a year ago, I cured myself of about 95% of my problems. I haven't been on this site in ages...likely for selfish reasons...as I have been once again enjoying life and just really did not want to discuss TMS.
That said, I NEED to share this with you guys, as it just hit my like a ton of bricks:
Many of us get debilitating muscle spasms. They come out of nowhere and they make life hell. Mine crippled my neck, forearms and lower back for AGES. They were the bane of my existence. I hated them with a passion as they truly hold your attention and divert it from personal issues, all whilst making the sufferer absolutely miserable.
What do we do when we get them?
RUB, STRETCH, RUB AGAIN....GET A MASSAGE...STRETCH AGAIN...and basically constantly give it attention. The hardest thing is IGNORING the onset of a muscle spasm but I can tell you all its the ONLY thing that works. It took 10 years for this small little detail to get into my apparently very small brain. By not ignoring the pain, you bring attention to it and VALIDATE it. Ok, nothing new here....most of us know this already.
There is another aspect to this whole cycle though and that is RUBBING/MASSAGING. Rubbing a spasm with NO PHYSIOLOGICAL CAUSE...bruises the area, bringing more attention to it. Let me explain; hear me out:
1) You have some sort of sub-conscious thought that you have not sufficiently dealt with (anger, shame, etc)
2) It comes up (unbeknownst to you) yet you give it no attention and your brain thinks you cant deal with it at that time.
3) Your brain throws out a pain signal (bare with me, I' am obviously not a Dr)...a sharp pain (for example) in the side of your neck.
4) At this point most of us: stop everything they are doing, get terrified b/c you think its going to debilitate you for days, lock your neck in its current position, take advil, begin to rub and massage it and continually "play" with it for the remainder of the day...if not for the following 2-3 days. Its a horrible cycle, yet a brilliant mechanism for the brain to keep our attention diverted.
Now-there are two things at work here: a) the "thought" that we are screwed, meaning: how am I going to go to work tomorrow, how can I take care of the kids, I will have to cancel my meetings, etc...and panic ensues. This is the first part of TMS and it certainly does the job of holding our attention.
b) the second part is PHYSICAL ATTENTION PAID TO THE SITE OF PAIN. This is what I am writing about.
When you obsessively rub/massage your neck and stretch a spasm that really was initiated by your brain (so, other than a legitimate injury), you BRUISE an area of your body... prolonging pain and hence, drawing more attention to it and allowing for more fear to take hold.
Case in point:
I have been having a very stressful month. More stressful than usual. I consider myself a TMS veteran and can literally talk myself out of pain within minutes, even in the worst scenarios.
Im in the gym today doing a heavy shoulder routine and I feel twinge in the right side of my neck...one of TMS's favorite spots on my body. I IMMEDIATELY laugh and say "no way dude, you are not diverting my attention and I am neither stopping this workout routine nor am I RUBBING THAT DAMN SPOT". This happens to me once every couple of months (yes, still) and I just ignore it and the spasm GOES AWAY EVERY TIME, WITHIN MINUTES. It knows that I know, that it is full of $hit and that I refuse to take the bait.
For some odd reason, today I decided to rub the spot. Once I rubbed, I got a little paranoid that it was a "real" spasm (I dont even know what that means either), this made me slow down my routine and every couple of minutes, I found myself rubbing my neck vigorously. Then, like a complete idiot, I stop my routine and begin neck stretches.
Checkmate TMS; game over for me.
It was over for me and I knew it. I had given the stupid effing spasm PHYSICAL ATTENTION and guess what, I am staying in tonight with neck pain as a result.
So, one might ask "if you know how to just make it go away bigshot TMS guy, why dont you just do that"? Good question. Thats exactly the problem and what prompted me to write this post:
I am good on the psych front but ive already bruised my neck with all the crap ive been doing to it all day...which MADE THE SPASM MUCH WORSE or even better, VALIDATED IT TO BEGIN WITH.
Dont get me wrong, ill have thunk this puppy away by tomorrow but now I must suffer b/c of my lack of discipline and b/c I now have a physical problem (bruising) that I did to myself!. My body is now legitimately bruised and over-stretched and I have to take it easy tonight...but I know it will be gone by tomorrow.
Moral of this long story?
When you get that hit of pain...relax for a couple of minutes but DO NOT RUB, MASSAGE OR STRETCH IT OUT!!!
I REPEAT....DO NOT GIVE IT ANY PHYSICAL ATTENTION.
No matter how badly you just want to give it one loving rub...resist the urge. The spasm will quickly subside because it DOES NOT have your attention...neither psychologically nor physically...and you can go about your day.
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Edited by - avik on 02/09/2013 18:34:11 |
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Cravenfan
USA
2 Posts |
Posted - 02/10/2013 : 17:24:09
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I'm new to the forum...lurking in the background, reading some of the posts, gaining knowledge from other folks that have also suffered, trying to gain some insight. I enjoyed reading this post, but I had a question:
"1) You have some sort of sub-conscious thought that you have not sufficiently dealt with (anger, shame, etc)"
How do I figure out what the heck is bothering me that causes the spasm? If dealing with the root cause is the key...where do I go from here?
Mental cause, not physical is something I need to remind myself |
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chickenbone
Panama
398 Posts |
Posted - 02/10/2013 : 19:26:48
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Hi, I am so sorry for your discomfort and pain.
Let me try to explain how I handle it when that sort of thing happens to me. When I get a cramp or a spasm, I treat it as I would treat any physical issue because in the moment I really don't know if it has a physical or mental origin. I attend to the cramp by putting weight on it, sometimes it takes awhile. I have never bruised myself by rubbing it, maybe you are rubbing it too hard. I resist the urge to panic and create a "story" similar to the stories I have created around my pain in the past, like "OH NO, TMS again, it is going to ruin my life". I completely SIT AND STAY in the present moment with it, while doing my best to relax. I don't give it a story, a beginning or ending, and I never think that my life would be so much better without this cramp. I know that I don't want to adopt an anti-symptom stance with it because it is this +symptom (unconscious) / anti-symptom (conscious) opposite stance that fuels TMS, if that is what it is. And I certainly don't want to make it TMS by holding on to the pain through negative emotion if that is not what it was in the first place. If it is a manifestation of TMS, then I know that I have been straining mentally to bring it on and this is what the symptom is telling me. I need to slow down. This is probably just a gentle reminder. I try to think of the pain (TMS manifestation) as a friend in that it is about my health - it comes as a reminder that I haven fallen into a mode of thinking and behavior that is going to lead to trouble. So I just say, OK I get it. Usually, if I just agree to do the mental work I need to do, it will leave me alone. Ace1's Keys should help you with this quickly. just look for them on the forum.
I hope this helps and you feel better soon. |
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avik
128 Posts |
Posted - 02/10/2013 : 20:18:41
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quote:
Originally posted by Cravenfan
I'm new to the forum...lurking in the background, reading some of the posts, gaining knowledge from other folks that have also suffered, trying to gain some insight. I enjoyed reading this post, but I had a question:
"1) You have some sort of sub-conscious thought that you have not sufficiently dealt with (anger, shame, etc)"
How do I figure out what the heck is bothering me that causes the spasm? If dealing with the root cause is the key...where do I go from here?
Mental cause, not physical is something I need to remind myself
Craven-it doesnt matter what that sub-conscious thought is. Just KNOWING that the thought causes the brain to create a pain to divert one's attention is sufficient.
I slaved for over a year trying to "tie" certain thoughts/feelings to specific pains and although it was an educational experience, I was missing the whole point of TMS.
Over-thinking it, is what ironically brings it more attention, which you do not want to do.
Just know (and say to yourself) these MACRO points:
-I have suppressed/repressed emotions, which I have yet to deal with and which my brain does not want me to focus on. As a result, my brain gives me other things (pain, for one) to focus on.
-I will deal with these emotions over time...I will write about them, become more self-compassionate, live in the moment, etc. but I know that the key to eradicating my pain is not SOLVING these problems per se, but just KNOWING that they are the culprit and what cause my brain to do this in the first place.
-I will IGNORE my pains and NOT let them hold my attention. This, along with focusing on the psychological basis for my problems, will allow me to "re-program" my brain into realizing that it does not need to protect me by using these diversions, and that I am READY to deal with my issues/problems/emotions in real time.
IGNORE the pain.
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Edited by - avik on 02/10/2013 20:21:25 |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 02/10/2013 : 20:21:44
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| You are getting very good at this chickenbone |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 02/10/2013 : 22:08:30
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quote:
Originally posted by Cravenfan
How do I figure out what the heck is bothering me that causes the spasm? If dealing with the root cause is the key...where do I go from here?
Like Avik says, you don't have to deal with the root cause. THERE IS NO ROOT CAUSE! It's the HUMAN CONDITION. It's an accumulation of many things past and present, "overfilling your reservoir of rage", creating symptoms as a distraction so you don't run around ranting and raving scaring the kids and neighbors and everyone saying your nutz. It's also your personality traits, GOODIST, PERFECTIONIST, PROCRASTINATOR, etc.
You only need to understand the Good Doctor's theory, believing that the symptoms are benign, harmless, reversible, quit worrying and fearing and lead a "dynamic" busy-b, happy life until you forged about it.
The best thing you can do is keep reading the books slowly, word for word for word, until it sinks in and sleep on it.
G'luck!
tt/lsmft
==================================================
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter
"...the human emotional system was not designed to endure the mental rigors of a tennis match." Dr. Allen Fox
======================================================
"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod =================================================
TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
Here's a map of TMS practitioners from the old Tarpit Yoga site, (click on the map by state for listings).:
http://www.tarpityoga.com/2007_08_01_archive.html |
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Cravenfan
USA
2 Posts |
Posted - 02/11/2013 : 07:35:51
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Great advice, thank you. I read "Healing Back Pain" after spending an agonizing week at Disney with my 10 year old girls and wife. That was the last straw for me. I've been to a number of Doctors over the years, all who have told me my back is that of a normal 40+ year old. Massage, PT, Chiropractor, etc, etc.
Prior to the trip, I had over-hyped my back issues with concerns that I would hold back my family from enjoying our vacation. It was a self-fulfilling prophesy. After reading the book several times, I saw myself on nearly every page, as most have. It was like a light switch and I had an outstanding number of weeks over the holidays, taking long trips in the truck, snowmobiling, no flare up issues at work, etc.
Then, a couple weeks ago, on my birthday...it reared it's ugly head again and came back (to my back). I describe it as "lightning bolts" from my lower back to my head. Some discomfort, lower back spasms, upper back cracking "like broken glass", etc. I re-read the book, but still am having some lower back issues. I have "The Great Pain Deception: Faulty Medical Advice Is Making Us Worse" on the way from Amazon. That will be my next read.
Unfortunately, I now have more free time to read it, as my position was eliminated at the company I work for last Thursday, due to 350 positions being cut. I had nearly 20 years there. As if things could get worse. Luckily, I have a healthy family life and wife and good support structure of friends and will get through it.
I have always been a perfectionist, highly structured, scheduled and most other conditions that are susceptible to TMS. Funny how when we returned from Disney, I felt a bit better and my 10 year old said, "Dad, maybe it's just because we are home again?" The power of kids...she was right.
Keep the advice coming, I appreciate it.
What's the best way to start a "feelings journal" of some kind? Write about the past, present and future feelings? I have considered doing one, now I have more time to devote to it, wanted a jump start on how it's worked for others.
Mental cause, not physical is something I need to remind myself |
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avik
128 Posts |
Posted - 02/11/2013 : 16:55:28
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quote:
Originally posted by Cravenfan
Great advice, thank you. I read "Healing Back Pain" after spending an agonizing week at Disney with my 10 year old girls and wife. That was the last straw for me. I've been to a number of Doctors over the years, all who have told me my back is that of a normal 40+ year old. Massage, PT, Chiropractor, etc, etc.
Prior to the trip, I had over-hyped my back issues with concerns that I would hold back my family from enjoying our vacation. It was a self-fulfilling prophesy. After reading the book several times, I saw myself on nearly every page, as most have. It was like a light switch and I had an outstanding number of weeks over the holidays, taking long trips in the truck, snowmobiling, no flare up issues at work, etc.
Then, a couple weeks ago, on my birthday...it reared it's ugly head again and came back (to my back). I describe it as "lightning bolts" from my lower back to my head. Some discomfort, lower back spasms, upper back cracking "like broken glass", etc. I re-read the book, but still am having some lower back issues. I have "The Great Pain Deception: Faulty Medical Advice Is Making Us Worse" on the way from Amazon. That will be my next read.
Unfortunately, I now have more free time to read it, as my position was eliminated at the company I work for last Thursday, due to 350 positions being cut. I had nearly 20 years there. As if things could get worse. Luckily, I have a healthy family life and wife and good support structure of friends and will get through it.
I have always been a perfectionist, highly structured, scheduled and most other conditions that are susceptible to TMS. Funny how when we returned from Disney, I felt a bit better and my 10 year old said, "Dad, maybe it's just because we are home again?" The power of kids...she was right.
Keep the advice coming, I appreciate it.
What's the best way to start a "feelings journal" of some kind? Write about the past, present and future feelings? I have considered doing one, now I have more time to devote to it, wanted a jump start on how it's worked for others.
Mental cause, not physical is something I need to remind myself
Crave-
Buy Schubiner's "Unlearn Your Pain" and complete every single page.
It will teach you how to "journal" and "free-write" properly (the two things that saved me).
Sarno is just the tip of the iceberg...he's the foundation but many great docs have elaborated on his theories over the past ten years and many are quite powerful/useful.
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LuvtoSew
USA
327 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 10:15:38
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| Great advice, ignore, ignore , ignore. Yes I believe that is the key, or ever get a point where the pain is not there and then you think about it and it comes back real quick. When dealing with chronic pain, we get so use to it, that its there even if its not, like were holding on to it. Just knowing this dosn't help though, knowing I need to work to eat doesn't put food on the table, I actually have to work to do it. |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 10:51:16
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quote:
Originally posted by LuvtoSew
When dealing with chronic pain, we get so use to it, that its there even if its not, like were holding on to it.
I totally get that. There are times when I would have almost zero pain yet I would think or act as if it was still there. It's like when someone leaves your home after visiting you for several days, yet they still feel present even when they are no longer there. You expect at any moment they are going to walk into the room and then you realize that they are not going to because they have left. Does that make any sense at all? |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 11:04:52
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| Well if you ignore a symptom good enough, but you dont decondition yourself to the situation that causes it, the symptom will just shift. It is good to try not to worry or focus on the symptom, but often this is not enough. |
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Ragdoll
4 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 11:09:57
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| I had one of those painful spasms last night in bed. So the advice is to ignore it. What do you think about instead??? |
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PJ77
United Kingdom
44 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 11:10:14
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| Ace although I have re read your keys countless times, please could you give an example of a situation you are talking about and exactly how to decondition? |
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chickenbone
Panama
398 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 12:33:43
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I hear a lot of people saying that they are "reading" and "rereading" Ace's Keys to Healing. However, I seriously have to wonder if they are PRACTICING and APPLYING them. Just ignoring symptoms is not enough, it is a start, but you will not be cured by just ignoring symptoms. If you are really practicing the Keys, then you are permanently changing your thought patterns about the pain and what causes it. You are living your life in a much more relaxed manner and you are realizing how your former thought patterns and unconscious reactions have contributed to your pain problem. You should be beginning to understand what your pain strategy is and how it works.
Firstly, you are realizing that the pain is a symptom of a mental strain that for whatever reason, your system has decided to present to you in physical form. This realization should change your thoughts about the real origin of your pain.
Secondly, you are constantly monitoring your thoughts and internal reactions to both internal thought patterns and external stimulus. Are you mentally uncomfortable or straining in any way?? NOTICE these. Let them float by, don't react the way you have in the past and don't project into the future.
Thirdly, if you find yourself in pain, don't resist the pain, notice and accept it, IN THE PRESENT MOMENT ONLY. Sit and stay with it, this will de-condition you to it. Don't create the story you created in the past or project the pain or it's story into the future. Don't think how wonderful your life would be without it or how this has ruined your life again. Pain is never very scary in the present moment when you realize that things will change in the next moment. It is the STORY around the pain that is scary. Drop the story and stay and accept the pain in the moment. Try it, you will find that is is not difficult to do.
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 12:53:17
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Chickenbone you are very good at this. I am very proud of you. I feel I sometimes dont have to respond bc your explainations are right on the money. Most of the questions that have been asked are already described on the list of the key to healling, so you answer is right there. I tried to make it as complete, but as short as I could. I do understand and I can clearly see that some of the points on the keys to healing maybe confusing as I am trying my best to explain a mental process in words, which is hard to communicate. I really dont mind clarifying what doesnt make sense (I really do thank chickenbone and others who understand and are helping me with this).
1. To decondition, you have to go into the situations were you have strained or reacted so intenesly and repeatedly in the past and now act the opposite. Depending on how severe the conditioning the longer this process will take. You said and thought bad, negative things before, now you say the opposite, calming things in repeated manner while trying to act that way. You dont run away but sit in the situation despite the discomfort and you learn PATiENCE. THIS WILL WORK ONLY OVER A PERIOD OF TIME WHICH MAY BE A LONG TIME. The symtpoms usually make people react and strain mentally more, so they undermine you from trying to act at peace, but dont let them do this to you. Obviously everything is better explained on my list and I refer you back to that and to chickenbones explaination. |
Edited by - Ace1 on 02/13/2013 14:27:13 |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 13:03:35
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| Sorry PJJ, I didnt answer the first part of your question. One condtioned situation is to be in a rush with everything in your life. Another is hyped up just going to work. Another is irritated by a screeming child. etc etc.. |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 13:05:51
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| In terms of symtpoms at night. Usually these are a result of what your about to do the next day. How you intnesely prepare for this event the night before is your conditioned situation. |
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chickenbone
Panama
398 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 18:39:58
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You are right Ace, it is SO difficult to describe a mental process in words. I think this is because, when we have accomplished something, it is very difficult to go back and realize each and every step we mentally used in the process. And healing is a process. It is hard to heal, but even harder to help others heal. I think you did a really good job in your Keys describing what needs to be done. It resonated with me fairly quickly.
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If you ave any type of muscle spasm/pain pls read:
