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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
 Posted - 01/27/2013 : 18:44:13
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Aussie, no problems whatsoever. That is a very good question indeed & I need to think how I am going to answer that because I am just as baffled as you are  .
Andy, the note taking idea is a good one but how did you do it discreetly without winding your mom up & making her get defensive? OK ignore this question. I read yr post again & you say you went back to your room & wrote things down.
My relationship with my mother is complicated in that she is not entirely bad. She does love me very much & I love her too but she is emotionally very immature & very unforgiving & negative. It's her negativity that I find very hard to deal with. Every time she opens her mouth it is to say something negative either about someone or some situation. This winds me up Andy coz she has everything going for her and yet she is so blind to it all. There are millions who would want to be in her shoes honestly.
My therapist told me the other day that when she starts saying something negative to not engage. By engaging her I am allowing myself to be dragged down to her level. So she advised me to just say ' yes you are right mom' and leave it at that coz then she wouldn't get the opportunity to continue which is what she really wants.
It made a lot of sense to me & I will tell you in my next post how I used that strategy successfully.
Mala
Mala Singh Barber. I'm on facebook. Look me up
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Edited by - mala on 01/28/2013 00:55:45 |
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2013 : 21:31:34
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| Hi Mala - sorry to hear you are still struggling. Just wanted to reccomend a book I got for Christmas - "Miracles Happen" by Brian Weiss and Amy Weiss. It's not a tms book, but it has a lot of inspiring stories of healing. I have only seen it in hardcover, but it may be available as a download. |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2013 : 21:02:16
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Aussie, I have thought about this and can’t really understand why. Maybe I can just randomly write a few points & see if there is anything that comes up.
1. Most people here or TMSers in general, say that they have had problems on & off since childhood. This is not true for me. I was a very healthy person till I was 40 despite some childhood issues.
2. The back pain started a year after I had fibroid surgery in which 7 fibroids were cut from my uterus. The largest was 11cm. Funnily I never experienced any pain with the fibroids at all & the only way I found I had them was during a regular check up. They had to be removed coz they were getting big and I had difficulty wearing jeans etc.
3. I have had periods when there was no pain & I have discovered that those periods are usually between October & Feb when the season is dry here in HK otherwise humidity is usually in the high nineties.
4. I haven’t been able to fins a connection between journaling & getting better.
5. In 2008 I was taking one 200mg long release ibuprofen a day. In October that year I ended in hospital for 4 days bleeding. A colonoscopy showed massive ulcers in my colon, which the doctor thinks is a result of the painkillers.
6. Since my fibroid operation I have discovered that I have a retroverted uterus with more fibroids, the largest being 6cm x 6 cm x6 cm which could be the cause of my pain.
7. Because of the lack of an accurate diagnosis I have doubts.
8. The neck & knee pain I feel are a result of me tensing up my muscles becoz of the back pain.
9. My stomach problems are most likely becoz of the fear & state of anxiety I am in as a result of the constant pain.
10. Being on this forum has taught me a lot about myself & I have gained much from other people’s experiences & posts but the pain has not abated.
Pls feel free to comment or ask anything you want.
Al, I checked out the book. It seems to be about past lives & regression. Is that right? Has it helped you?
Mala
Mala Singh Barber. I'm on facebook. Look me up
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2013 : 21:37:28
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Mala, I'm not going to lie to you and say this process is easy, esp in someone who has severe tms like you. Even with the list I gave you it is very difficult. This is not to disway you but for you to know what your up against and how much work you have to do. I listed those keys to healing to help guide you and help you to know what you should avoid and how you should go about things. The funny thing though is you probably won't really believe it until you prove it to yourself which is ok, bc I know I'm right with what I wrote. Keep at it and don't give up and you will very slowly heal and that's ok.
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2013 : 20:04:10
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| Hi Mala - I have been reading Dr. Weiss for some time, he has helped me with some odd habits/obsessions I had, that I gave up. I was obsessed with blacksmithing, mostly knives and axes, and collecting guns and knives. I found this odd, because I don't hunt. My regressions revealed a past related to this. It did help very much with fear of death, and fear in general. In his latest book, he does write about many people relieved of symptoms. It is a good read, if nothing else for you. There is another author, Dr. Ian Stevenson, that studied many cases of reincarnation, mostly children in India. He was a professor at a university in Virginia. His books are older, they are at the library here, and maybe online also. |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2013 : 20:46:33
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Hi Al thx for the post. Its quite interesting that you mention past lives & regressions because my therapist brought this up in my first session. Being Indian and a Hindu I have been brought up with the idea of reincarnation & have heard many stories about past lives. I like the idea of reincarnation becoz it keeps me honest in this life. I do not want to come back as a cockroach.
With reincarnation also comes the idea of karmic debt & therefore also karmic credit. I have been questioning this idea. You see I can forgive someone if they have hurt me in this life & I can also atone & ask for forgiveness if I have hurt someone in turn. When we talk about past hurts as atonement & forgiveness, I get stuck because how do I forgive or ask for forgiveness if I don't know what I have done.
Interestingly my therapist said I could ask for general forgiveness & release from debt & also forgive & release others from any debt owed to me.
Guess it boils down to acceptance & forgiveness in general.
Mala Singh Barber. I'm on facebook. Look me up
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Edited by - mala on 01/30/2013 20:49:20 |
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2013 : 21:05:20
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| I used one of Dr. Weiss's self hypnosis cds to do my regressions. It worked really well. If you have a therapist that does it, may be better for you. I am kind of cheap, the first couple of times I borrowed one from the library. I had one scary regression, and experienced a violent death. After, I felt better, and relaxed, although I didn't try again for a while. The other times were more interesting and not scary at all. |
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Still struggling plus some more
