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icelikeaninja
USA
316 Posts |
 Posted - 12/11/2012 : 19:59:44
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Ok, so someone on here inspired me to share my story.
I remember when I first came here and read some posts about how certain people once they did better never came back to this board. As a result you are just stuck ranting with other people who are in extreme amounts of pain.
I admit this place was a haven for me, I looked forward to coming here every night just to find some peace that I wasn't alone and that other people are feeling what I felt.
So in 2004 I developed back,rib,neck pain. My pains ranged from stabing, knawing, sharp, dull, cracking, stiff, hot and cold. I can't even remember them anymore.
But I do remember when I got these pains and nothing made them go away that I contemplated taking my own life. Here I am 22 years old and my body is that of an 80 year old. I had nothing to live for. Luckily I had some sort of inheritance at the time which made it possible for me not to work but trust me I had to quit my job.
My first doctor said my rib and back pain was from acid reflux, he gave me I think nexium and protonix, I had similiar pain the year before but only for a week. The nexium made it "go away".
This pain was different though, it was sharp.
The next doctor said I probably have gallstones, the doctor after that prescribed and endoscopy. The endoscopy revealed that I had gastritis, esophagitis, and pre ulcer conditions in the area that is right before the stomach.
I was shocked because here I am doing everything to prevent acid reflux but I am still in pain 24/7! The meds werent helping and the doctors were looking at me like I was stupid.
I even went to a stomach surgeon and he said he couldnt help me.
My brother at the time said he had a great doctor who really cared for his patients and took the time to speak to them without feeling rushed. I met this doctor and he said before he can conclude anything (because he knew what was wrong) he had to see pictures of my stomach and NOT THE REPORT! The report said all this bad stuff on it like the pre ucler conditions etc. My doctor being a cancer surgeon as well would know what to look for in terms of colors etc. So I trusted him.
He saw pictures of my stomach and after careful review said " There is nothing wrong with your stomach, you have a normal stomach, normal colors, nothing is wrong, the gastro doctor wrote those things on the report so they wouldnt have to look in detail for more things that were wrong with you, also so INSURANCE WOULD PAY them."
Jeez I thought, the people I trusted the most were not even concerned about my quality of life. So the cancer doctor said I had a condition called Costochondritis which gives rib and back pains but the amount of pain I am feeling and at the times I am feeling it do not make sense, heres and antidepressant.
I took paxil for a few months and it made me crazy, plus I was still in pain. But I remembered I use to work at Barnes and Noble book store, there was a book that might help and it always sold called "Healing Back Pain".
I bought the book and it described me exactly. I remember I was laying down on my brothers couch not able to put the book down because it described everything about me.
Still though because I am neurotic I was not convinced. I had to see Dr.Sarno himself!
After a steep fee (well worth it) I saw the man. I actually cried on my way there because I though he was going to say "You dont have tms" and also because could this be it? Could my journey with the pain finally be over?
I waited about twenty minutes. I saw Doctor Sarno. After giving me some tests in his office he concluded I had tms, that I needed therapy, and that I need to attend his monthly meetings.
Wonderful I thought! I will be cured in a week! Did not happen. I went to the meetings saw a lovely therapist and was still in pain even after 6 months. No end in sight, 24/7 pain.
Without telling my therapist or Dr.Sarno, I went to an osteopath and got adjustments from him every week for 200 dollars a pop.
It wasnt until seeing the osteopath for the 4th week I looked at his notes on me and it said " Tell the patient he is fine and that he should consider tricyclic antidepressants. I thought to myself " Great they are going to prescribe something for people in the nut house". It was then that I relized I cant go to the osteopath anymore because even he is saying on the paper my problems are mental even though he is giving me adjustments. Shady!
I finally resolved to the fact that tms was my problem. I started working out, doing everything I was not suppose to do. I actually came back stronger and did things like box, jump rope, run, heavy lifting, you name it.
My therapist was always understanding and but never asked me about the pain, always about how I was feeling mentally. She even gave me cues in my body langauge that alot of TMS people exhibit.
At about a year and a few months I started noticing I had an hour here and there with no pain, that turned into 12 hours, within a month that turned into a week. Two months later pain free with a twinge here and there but tolerable.
The rest well is history. I have some flare ups here and there but its so small and I can say I probably mastered it.
I got pink eye a few times last year and called Sarno about it. even the cancer doctor agreed it was TMS. haha!
That is my story. I am not saying I am a perfect role model, but I remember being in pain during the holiday season and feeling completly hopeless.
It will get better but you must seek therapy if you were like me! Journal as well, not matter how big or small. Even stupid things like " I remember when I was 5 years old and some kid cut me in line to see Santa at the mall"
Haha |
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eric watson
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2012 : 20:15:06
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| very well written icelikemagic-great story of trial and error- belief and time-then healing-this is a big help for a lot of people on the post that really need to hear your story-i take my hat off to ya....perserverance at its best,,,,god bless |
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Birdie78
Germany
145 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2012 : 02:34:36
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I think I spend too much time on Facebook, because I just wanted to click on the "I like"-button 
Great story, thanks for sharing it!
Kind regards from Germany sends Birdie |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2012 : 05:52:02
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Ice,
First, thanks.
I had the same thing you did. It is not the most common TMS/anxiety complaint, so I was really thinking I had something horrific. Plus, I had an MRI that showed that a thoracic disc herniation "could" be causing the problem and referring the pain to my abdomen and chest. Not to mention I had had a gallbladder operation just months prior that also "could" be causing the pain due to "post gallbladder syndrome", what ever that is; or scar tissue from the surgery. All zeroed in on one main pain point that spread all over my torso after the MRI.
Anyway, it was reading one of your old posts that I found some confirmation and relief that somebody actually had something similar and recovered.
For me, I eventually went back to a physical therapist, not for specific exercises, but to find out what muscles were still tight and what effect they might have on far off points of my body, because for all the doctor attention, not one laid hands on my rock sold back, while standing, and said that these muscles will do this or that. TMS/Mindbody doctors cannot just say you are "fine" and go and "ignore the pain", like some priest with absolution. For some, this works, but with an anxious personality, the "why" and the "how come" have to be explained.
Then, I really got back into the exercise of strengthening overall, which I used to do until "this" came along, which, naturally, was a period of ultra extreme stress.
This cure it.
I want to thank you for those posts.
I wish you the "cure" and health you now seek.
I, too, mostly stayed away from the forums, but this is a slower time of year for work for me. And for me, in the long run, it is better to stay away.
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
Edited by - Back2-It on 12/12/2012 06:05:03 |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2012 : 06:34:59
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Dear Ice,
thank you for posting this success story. It is very nice and Im sure it will give a lot of people encourgement. May I ask you a few questions? I want to understand more from you so I can help more people. I am a doctor and I dont want to not open my mind to ways other people cured themselves. How did the therapist help you? Did she help you see things about yourself you wouldn't have been able to see otherwise? Would you say that bc you were no longer working, that this helped in your recovery, since that stress was out of your life? Was it about learning to let go for you, or was it just recogntion of your anger alone that in your mind helped? Did you challenge your pain, or did you just started doing things independent of the pain, but not to specifically challenge? In journaling, do you think this somehow deconditioned you to whatever you were journaling about, or do you think it was just talking about your feelings. Some people just get a realise when talking about their feelings. Thanks in advance. |
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icelikeaninja
USA
316 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2012 : 09:42:10
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Ace,
At first I could not feel or understand why I needed to write things down in the past. But eventually I had to force myself to feel things even though it waws forced. I broke down a few times and allowed myself to cry and say how f ed up my life was or is. My symptoms of pain came the first week my gf/future ex wife moved into my apartment.
To accomadate her I threw away a lot of things willingly but I knew that I would no longer have a sense of "self".
She was probably a catalyst for my pain but not the whole reason now that I think about it. Work sucked and I was miserable.
As far as the pain and working out I still felt it. But worked through it because I believed or had to force myself that nothing was wrong.
Sarno and my doctor said nothing was wrong so I forced myself to get with it or suffer in pain for the rest of my life.
As far as the therapist she mentioned that when I would talk about something sad I tended to smile while doing this as a way to push the bad emotion back. She always called me out on it.
Let me know how else I can help. |
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icelikeaninja
USA
316 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2012 : 10:07:24
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Also Ace. I looked at your other posts regarding visualization and I have to admit that actually made me worst. Because my mind was hell bent on getting over the pain and I could not be reminded of what the future will hold only that it will be okay.
I know most people use visualization tactics and it works but for me it was a horrible experience. When I visualize I write it down and forget about it. |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2012 : 10:26:18
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| Thanks for your input ice |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2012 : 10:59:53
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| Archive as success story. |
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icelikeaninja
USA
316 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2012 : 15:44:29
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Hey Back2,
I remember thinking I was doomed because nobody else had this problem either. I am glad it helped you and I am glad I wrote it down.
It's amazing what type of people we are and were. I am totally not the same person as I was then.
quote:
Originally posted by Back2-It
Ice,
First, thanks.
I had the same thing you did. It is not the most common TMS/anxiety complaint, so I was really thinking I had something horrific. Plus, I had an MRI that showed that a thoracic disc herniation "could" be causing the problem and referring the pain to my abdomen and chest. Not to mention I had had a gallbladder operation just months prior that also "could" be causing the pain due to "post gallbladder syndrome", what ever that is; or scar tissue from the surgery. All zeroed in on one main pain point that spread all over my torso after the MRI.
Anyway, it was reading one of your old posts that I found some confirmation and relief that somebody actually had something similar and recovered.
For me, I eventually went back to a physical therapist, not for specific exercises, but to find out what muscles were still tight and what effect they might have on far off points of my body, because for all the doctor attention, not one laid hands on my rock sold back, while standing, and said that these muscles will do this or that. TMS/Mindbody doctors cannot just say you are "fine" and go and "ignore the pain", like some priest with absolution. For some, this works, but with an anxious personality, the "why" and the "how come" have to be explained.
Then, I really got back into the exercise of strengthening overall, which I used to do until "this" came along, which, naturally, was a period of ultra extreme stress.
This cure it.
I want to thank you for those posts.
I wish you the "cure" and health you now seek.
I, too, mostly stayed away from the forums, but this is a slower time of year for work for me. And for me, in the long run, it is better to stay away.
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads"
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andy64tms
USA
589 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2012 : 21:19:34
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Hi Ice
As a poster in the last throngs of recovery, thank you for sharing your story. I’m taking a forum break soon to free up some time to journal and other stuff, but will be watching for uplifting posts such as yours.
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Stopped Wiki Edu Program in lieu of own journalling
Charlie Horse on neck for 20 years, is almost gone.
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2012 : 23:24:16
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I am a very Hard Nut with TMS, having had multiple symptoms for 30+ years.
HOWEVER, I have a very powerful partial success story. I have practically eliminated all belief in body pain. And therefore I don't really have it - not for long, anyway. I just ignore it and keep living my life, and it goes away and I go back to the gym and push through a bit and I literally forget about it. I don't "pull my back out" or "land on my knee funny" or any of the other myriad things that used to seem to happen. And I now listen to other people say such things and it sounds ridiculous.
My personal trainer at the gym has been watching me do this for 4-5 years and is very impressed. He has been considering going to Chiropractic School and I don't want to diss his hopes, but I have talked continually about Sarno and he has now started to get it, from watching me.
This is not a complete success story, but it IS a very good one, for someone who could barely move from pain and "fibromyalgia" for decades. I am a slow case, and acute fatigue still gets me some of the time. But considering I'm in my 60s, it's incredible that I'm basically out of the pain game I spent my 30s and 40s in.
Looking back I can see that it took a lot of longterm repetition of ignoring symptoms and keeping moving no matter what. Pain was the first thing Sarno approached with TMS theory, and has been the first to be largely resolved for me. But I can see this same effect moving into all areas. After all, if it's just a special effect of consciousness, what difference does it make what symptoms it sets up? Hear that, BODY?
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2012 : 00:26:22
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GOOD JOB KATIE! I think you could easily lie about your age, don't cop to anything over 49.
Cheers,
tt |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
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Pain free for 5+ years
