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Hilary
United Kingdom
191 Posts |
 Posted - 03/01/2005 : 15:47:59
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| This wretched dizziness. I feel like I'm making progress with it, then I slip back, the dizziness comes flooding back, I get scared and the dizziness gets worse. I sometimes feel like screaming. No pain now, but just intense dizziness. I can feel myself starting to get depressed about this and I really don't want that to happen. Someone - anyone - I could really use some support and encouragement right around now. |
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n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2005 : 01:37:26
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Hi Hilary
Sorry to hear you are having a bad time right now. You mention the dizziness/fear/more dizziness/depression cycle that happens. I found that breaking that vicious cycle, in my case - back pain/fear etc etc was one of the biggest factors in my recovery.
Reading on anxiety conditions really helped. Have you done any of that? Some people find that sticking to Dr Sarno's books is enough, but I had to treat the anxiety also.
I found the books of Dr Claire Weekes particularly helpful and Rick Carson's 'Taming Your Gremlin' Another book that helped a lot was John Kabut-Zinn's 'The Whole Catastrophe'.
Hope that you are feeling better today
Best wishes
Anne
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Carol
91 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2005 : 11:03:22
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Hi Hilary. I have to stress that I had never heard of Sarno or TMS when I had my vertigo, which lasted for at least a couple years. I did strongly suspect that it was of an emotional origin though. I guess that I did a lot of things right without realizing it, because I did get rid of it.
Before I get into what worked for me I have some questions for you.
1. Do you have it all the time, or does it strike at random?
2. Does it put you on your back when you have it?
3. Are you off balance, spinning, foggy brained, or all of the
above, at once or by turns.
4. Can you drive a car?
5. What other motion related things can you do or not do?
6. Have you taken any medication?
I am asking the questions because, depending on the specifics that you deal with, some things that worked for me might not work for you. conversely, I have a neice who also beat the dizziness who used some different techniques because she was more disabled than I was.
YOU CAN BEAT THIS! The fear is worse than the disability, because it stays with you even when you feel better. You aren't alone!
Carol |
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Ginag
51 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2005 : 14:34:13
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Hilary - I also started suffering with dizziness 2 years before I found Dr. Sarno. But once I believed in the Sarno process, my fear of the ailment subsided and with it so did the frequency and extreme force of the attacks. Unfortunately, for me,that's not to say that emotional situations didn't stir up the attacks again. But with each re-occurrence of rage followed by dizziness, it confirmed the definite connection of the two. So I'm hoping you can connect the dots and determine what incident provoked this attack. Once you've proven the obvious sequence of events to yourself, it should provide some relief to you. At least understanding some of this is better than having no knowledge at all. I've found that knowing what is bringing on the dizziness isn't enough for me to halt it. But I can at least shorten the duration, strength, and frequency of the attacks. And for me, that is a welcomed change in this horrible scenario. Try not to despair and know that a number of us dizzy sufferers have found varying degrees of success with Sarno's process. Just hang in there and treat each new day as another opportunity to heal yourself. Good Luck!!!
Gina |
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2005 : 09:37:53
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Hilary,
I haven't been on the forum in a few days so I just found your post. Have you read any of Dizzy Dave's recent posts? He has been dizzy for 20 years and since he's been on the forum and doing the TMS work he had several dizzy free days. Read some of his posts and re-read Carol's posts. Dr. Andrew Weil, in his book Spontaneous Healing, talks about how important it is to hear about the success stories of others in healing problems similar to yours. By doing so, you are reenforcing to your brain that this CAN and WILL go away.
Hey, I had a good couple of weeks myself. My stomach was acting up big time and the dizziness was all but gone. My stomach is much better now and my dizziness is back in full swing. Yesterday, I met two friends for lunch - my "best" friend that I just had the big blowout with and then made up with and our other mutual friend. Without going into all the details, lets just say it was not fun and I felt extremely uncomfortable. Several times I wanted to jump up from the table and run to my car for safety. And, do you know I felt dizzy the rest of the day? I started thinking to myself that being with them makes me feel "off balance." It truly does. So, my best bet is to not put myself in those situations anymore and learn from it.
If you have had everything checked out by the doctors and they cannot find anything wrong with you, and you see a direct correlation between your emotions and the dizziness, then you just need to keep doing what you are doing. Pull out your books and read them again. Journal more than you have in the past. Spend more time on the forum reading success stories like Carol's. You can beat this, Hilary. We all can!!! Hang in there and sorry I didn't see your post earlier. My parents are arriving in about two days (oh, joy!!) and I've had a lot to do to prepare for that. I've been staying off the board for a few days because once I get on I find the time goes by and I've gotten nothing done in my home!
Laura
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Hilary
United Kingdom
191 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2005 : 13:11:30
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Ginag, Carol, AnneG and Laura. Thank you so much for your support. Carol, in quick response to your post: I can pretty much do anything during a particularly dizzy spell - it's sitting still and trying to read a book that's virtually impossible! - and I'm taking meds (Klonopin and until recently Zoloft). I know the dizziness is very closely related to anxiety, but once again I feel as if I have to delve into the anger behind the anxiety. One thing that has been upsetting me recently is an abnormal pap result - I need to go in again on Monday for another check up and I think I'm feeling really upset about that - as well as angry. I hope everything will be ok - this is really getting to me more than I'd realized. I won't even get the result straight away, so I don't have to get nervous for another month or so, but having to go back to the docs makes it all "real" again.
Thanks again for all your support - I really appreciate it.
Hilary |
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Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2005 : 15:29:14
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Hilary,
My sister had an abnormal pap and so have a lot of my friends. I think it's really common. I just had two cervical polyps removed (one of them was HUGE) and I had to wait two weeks for my results. Usually, when I'm waiting for test results I'm a nervous wreck but for some reason I just knew deep down that everything was going to be okay. Yesterday, I finally saw my doctor and both polyps were benign and my pap smear was normal. The weird thing is, even though I really didn't FEEL nervous, my vertigo has been really bad the past couple of days.
I know it's easier said than done but try to reassure yourself that everything will be okay. You know it will. 99% of the stuff we worry about never turns out to happen anyway. Try to keep busy and keep your mind off of it. I've been so stressed in the past month, I feel like I was literally eating a hole away in my stomach. I started taking DGL (licorice root extract), which heals stomach ulcers and gastritis, and my stomach is much better but it still flares up when I'm majorly stressed out.
I'll bet if you asked most TMS sufferers they'd tell you they are worriers. I think it's the nature of the beast!
Good luck, Hilary. I know you'll be fine. Keep doing your TMS work and maybe encorporate some meditation or deep breathing exercises to help with the anxiety. I've just started using a great product called Bach Flower Remedies. This was created by a Dr. Bach many years ago and what it does is that it helps you to feel calm in stressful situations. I tried it the other day when I really needed something and it worked. You put a couple drops in your water and sip it. You might try something mild like that to help you.
Laura
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Colleen
USA
138 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2005 : 19:18:18
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Hilary,
Jon Kabat-Zinn's work out of the University of Mass Medical school on stress/mindfulness is very helpful. His meditation CD's are great.
I have also learned that correct breathing is very important when you are anxious or feeling dizzy. I am learning this first hand in a yoga/meditation class.
All the Best,
Colleen |
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Hilary
United Kingdom
191 Posts |
Posted - 03/05/2005 : 04:31:14
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Thanks so much Laura and Colleen.
Colleen, I've just finished doing a meditation course! I thought it would be good for my anxiety dizziness. It's strange how resistant the mind is - I mean, it makes perfect sense to me that breathing would help dizziness/anxiety, but my mind says, "oh this is stupid, it won't help". I'll look into Jon Kabat-Zinn online.
Laura, thanks for the support. Honestly I'm scared to death about this whole thing and haven't actually been able to tell anyone else about it because I'm scared. The thing is I know abnormal results are common - the nurse said 1 in 12 - but of course I'm panicking like **** about cervical cancer.
More true confessions:
The other thing that really hit home this week is that I'm really lonely. That is an incredibly hard thing for me to admit to myself or anyone else, but it's true. I like to think of myself as self-sufficient and independent, and in New York I felt much more that way. But the truth is that coming back to the UK I see all my old friends in relationships and with babies, and something in me is aching to have that very same thing.
This is new for me, because I never wanted to get married in my early 30s. And now I really want to meet someone, and I'm freaked out about that feeling.
So there: I'm lonely, jealous as hell (there's the competitive bit), and, if I'm honest, utterly furious that I don't have a great relationship and a child. I'm also terrified that I'll never meet anyone - that is, if I don't die of cervical cancer first. Lovely. Could someone just shoot me now?!
I'm glad I can spit this stuff out on the board, because I honestly can't think of anyone else I can tell all this stuff to, except my therapist. Oh my god. It's classic TMS, isn't it? I want people to see me as capable, coping, impermeable to loneliness and entirely self-sufficient - and the truth is that I'm kind of a wreck right now. I can't believe what I'm doing to myself.
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Edited by - Hilary on 03/05/2005 04:33:10 |
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molomaf
119 Posts |
Posted - 03/05/2005 : 07:28:33
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Hilary,
Dizziness used to be my worst anxiety symptom. I realized one day that it was the symptom that I feared the most. Before that it was hyperventilating. When I was no longer fearful of not being able to breathe, the dizziness started. I went through all sorts of tests, MRI's and nothing could be found.
So if you can realize that the mind tries to scare you with the symptom that you hate the most, you might be able to get a handle on what is happening. Once I realized this, I no longer become fearful of being dizzy. I laugh at it now. And it's gone in a flash. |
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Hilary
United Kingdom
191 Posts |
Posted - 03/05/2005 : 10:28:50
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| Thanks molomaf, it's very helpful to hear a success story. I also like the way you phrase this: realizing that THIS is the symptom that my brain is using to scare me the most. |
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Carol
91 Posts |
Posted - 03/05/2005 : 18:12:49
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I'm sorry that I didn't respond sooner, but I have been incredibly busy the past couple days. I haven't been on line since my response to you.
I'm glad to hear that you only have the problem while sitting. Believe it or not that makes my suggestions quite easy compared to some of the things I did. My dizziness was mostly during walking. I was able to ride a bike as long as I focused my eyes ahead of me and kept my head level. The same applied to driving a car. When the dizziness started I couldn't walk without holding onto something or using a cane. I gradually overcame that by walking a few steps in my living room while focusing my eyes on something in front of me. Once I was able to navigate around the house I started tackling outdoors. That was a lot harder. If the ground was even a little uneven I would fall sideways if I didn't have something to hang on to.
What really matters in this is your internal dialogue. You said that you tell yourself that "this is silly", this isn't going to work", when you try meditating and deep breathing. Can you change the dialogue (consciously) to "this is silly! There is nothing wrong with me! Just stop it!" That is the dialogue that worked so well for me when I started to have a recurrence while corresponding with the other dizzy people.
My very first suggestion, if others hadn't already suggested it, would have been meditation. If you do it with your eyes closed, try it with your eyes open and focused on a specific place in the room. Focus hard while you think about what might be causing the dizziness. Like all TMS manifestations, you have to convince your unconscious that you KNOW that there is nothing wrong with your physical brain. Laugh at it, holler at it, get mad! I didn't know anything about TMS when I beat the vertigo, but I did know there was nothing wrong, and I was sure it was emotional in origin. I focused on doing the physical things that the vertigo tried to keep me from doing, and I was eventually successful.
Does the medication help you? Since my dizziness was primarily related to motion I was given good old atavert (meclizine) 25mg twice daily. The first couple days I had to stay home because it knocked me on my keester, but once my body adjusted I felt a lot better. It (the vertigo) didn't go away completely, but the medication helped me to function while I was challenging my restrictions. The doctor told me it doesn't help everyone, but for those of us who are helped it can make the difference between being functional and disabled!
Don't let this defeat you. It sure is a good distraction from all those things that you are worrying about, isn't it? As I said in a previous post mine started when I started a new job and had to deal with a difficult boss. I had to tackle the vertigo at the same time I tackled our problems. If I hadn't found a way to work with her I would have stepped down from the position. It was a promotion, with a lot more responsibility, and I really wanted it. I could not work with her until we hammered out our differenced though. Although that is when the vertigo started, it continued to plague me for at least a year after I had resolved my differences with the boss.
We all know how you feel about saying things on the board that you would never confide to people who know you. We are all sooooooo tough, aren't we?!
One thing I would suggest, if you haven't already started to journal, is to list these things that are bothering you, and then journal about them every day. Things such as - abnormal pap repeat came back okay! Now on to the next thing on the list. BTW, I am another of those who had an abnormal Pap. Repeat was fine!
I wish I could make everyone's dizziness go away. The best I can do though is to tell everyone that it can be done. And what works for one may not work for another. Keep doing the work, and really work on changing that internal dialogue!!!!!!
Carol |
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Carol
91 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2005 : 11:06:50
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Hilary, did that Pap report come back? I am a bit concerned since you have not followed up on this string at all. Please let us know that everything is okay on that issue.
Carol |
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I could use some support
