| Author |
 Topic  |
|
mchan
USA
75 Posts |
 Posted - 10/20/2012 : 16:26:15
|
| Wow, I hate when that happens. I just typed a long reply and realized I was not logged in, when I hit reply so it dumped my message! Anyway I had never heard the terms alpha or beta before reading this. Interesting information. It is true I do want to be dominated a bit, or "led" so to say. This makes me feel safe. When he does try though I get angry at him. I tell him to be more dominant but I resist when he does. When the mean men dominate I become like a child, a little girl that will do whatever they say. My husband will do anything to make the marriage work and has agreed to find himself outside of me, (however that looks we shall see) I have been in chronic pain the whole 6 years we have been married now so he has take on the caretaker role, even though I never asked him to. He has seen the pain I am in and feels bad so he makes all his decisions around what would make me the most comfortable, we need to learn how to be in a marriage without pain. Chronic pain can ruin a marriage, just because of the dynamic change, I get angry and don't want him to be my nurse, I need a leader! Affirmations make sense as long as I do not go against them all day like you said. I am still trying to figure out how to heal from TMS, I am hoping once I do heal at least him being a "trigger" will stop. |
Edited by - mchan on 10/20/2012 16:29:16 |
 |
|
|
Wodg
Australia
89 Posts |
Posted - 10/20/2012 : 20:06:03
|
There was a time when women needed a beta-provider husband, if he was a drinker or skirt chaser the family would end up hungry. In my Grandads era, he grew up without a Dad and was malnourished.
Now, with welfare states (eg Australia,Canada,USA, Northern Europe) women no longer need a beta-provider male because the government is their beta-provider.
This changes the dynamics of attraction. Bad boys reign supreme in this scenario. They are more exiting, unpredictable, dominant but don't stick around or have no cash/future.
However that's OK because women can get welfare and be single mums.
|
|
|
|
shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 10/21/2012 : 13:02:27
|
Speaking of triggers, me and my wife were bickering over some mundane thing yesterday when I got an awful shock in my left toe that almost floored me. It lasted for about 45 minutes then went away. I think there are some unresolved issues between me and her but we have not really discussed them or they are way to subtle for both of us to recognize.
As much as you love someone there is another part of you that recognizes that person keeps you back from many of the things that you want to do and inwardly that makes your angry. |
|
|
|
jaya
USA
175 Posts |
Posted - 10/21/2012 : 15:20:19
|
| Dead on shawnsmith...dead on |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
|
|
My amazing Husband - a trigger?
