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 Andy Avoided Arguing
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andy64tms

USA
589 Posts

Posted - 09/22/2012 :  23:02:29  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
While windsurfing this summer I was approached by a new windsurfer and chatted with him at considerable length. It was very pleasant and the typical conversation between two windsurfers meeting for the first time.

Unfortunately I must have said something that gave him a clue as to my political bias, something I always try to avoid. The next morning when we met he rushed at me in a rage, and clearly wanted to debate me on my political views. I was startled as he challenged me on topics of which I knew very little. He threw a whole bunch at me in one sentence, and had obviously been steaming all night. In a complete fright I backed away, as he seemed more eloquent in his arguments than I was. I think I froze, (typical of a type T TMSer I think). I hate arguing or debating, and anyway I was there to have fun and windsurf.

So what I did as he came at me for a second shot, was to firmly shake his hand, and say. “You know isn’t this a wonderful country, we can have opposing political opinions and still be friends?”

He blushed and went quiet, and my anger lessened. As we chatted politely after that I think we both knew we would never touch that topic again. Ouch.

I owe this tip to my lovely wife Sheila. Use it to avoid confrontation, and then pass it on, it worked for me.


Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Taking a break from Wiki Edu. due to windsurfing priorities
Charlie horse on neck for 20 years. (to be evicted soon.)
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception

eric watson

USA
601 Posts

Posted - 09/25/2012 :  14:15:16  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thanks for the tip andy64tms -i know most of my life i was very confrontational but it seemed as the yrs went by my whole outlook on life changed and i really didnt care for confrontations any more-to this day i always use a talk as to calm the other person doun so we can get to the bottom of things -but in my early twentys i would have just argued away-its funny how we change-its called growing up i believe-but thanks for the reminder on how to keep cool in a tough situation-it seems so much easier for me now that ive been this way for a while but at first i remember i had to bite my tounge-now it just flows naturly and the day is better because i didnt have to get into a screaming match or a fight for that matter-thanks for bringing the subject up again-hope you have a great week.oh! our other half can be quit rewarding if we just listen
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