| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
jennypeanut
103 Posts |
 Posted - 08/21/2012 : 09:21:47
|
| Today is the annivesary of a death of a close family member. Every year I have a terrible August. The heat makes me remember details of this traumatic day and perhaps triggers some of my flight or fight (or freeze- more my style) reflexes. My TMS has been out of control this last week: sinus problems, lower back aches, stomach aches, diarrhea, eye twitching, sweating, anxiety, forgetfulness, and more. Also, I stupidly let my psychiatrist convince me to switch from Zoloft to Prozac 3 weeks ago so some of those symptoms might be related to side effects. Please don't tell me I shouldnt be on an antidepressant. I am planning to be off them fully within the year. Prozac actually helps getting off harder drugs to quit like Zoloft. I'm sure many of you feel that the drugs are placebo but I know they are in fact not placebo and do have an effect on mood. That said I've been on them for 12 yrs and am ready to get off them and deal with my issues without being under their influence. Especially since they cause side effects which increases my "symptoms" thus perpetuating my TMS because I become focused on the symptom. Anyway, I am trying to think psychological and journal through this. Last night I wrote about the death of the family member and poured out some of my feelings and sadness in the writing. When I started I was doubled over in stomach pain. After I was done writing the stomach pain had vanished. It's back this morning though. Along with diarrhea which has been persistent this week. I'm fighting the urge to go visit the Dr. Something about doing that gives me some kind of sense of control. The last two years i have seen over a dozen different doctors, many specialized for the many ailments TMS has caused me to have. To date not one of them has found anything wrong excluding "tennis elbow" which I now know is just TMS. But then I start thinking "well I haven't seen anyone about the stomach issues.... Maybe I need to do that". Or the sweatin issues which I KNOW are linked to my antidepressants and switching them/dose changes. (yet another annoying reason to quit). Plus I end up spending lots of money on all the copayments AND I know it only feeds the obsession over bodily symptoms. It seems right now that the TMS is in overdrive. As I'm gaining perspective and initiating changes in my thinking and actions, it's switching strategies and amping up its power. I know not to fight it, but to accept it but it's hard to accept when it feels like my enemy. Help? |
|
|
pspa123
672 Posts |
Posted - 08/21/2012 : 10:41:55
|
I am not far along enough myself to help you, but I can completely empathize with all the (presumably hopeful) visits to doctors for various subsymptoms that ended up being a waste of time and mental energy either because they found nothing or they found something incidental that wasn't really causing anything but led you to believe it was. Have I ever been there and done that!! Congratulations if you have moved past that, I think I have too but I am not 100 percent sure yet. I can also completely empathize with stress cranking up the symptoms. My autistic son has gone downhill recently and it can't be a coincidence that my neck pain and related symptoms are sky high.
Not to argue with you re the AD, and just for the sake of discussion, the fact that it is working for you does not rule out placebo effect. The whole point of the placebo effect is that for some people drugs or other interventions DO work subjectively, just not by the mechanisms proposed. The mechanism is that the mind believes something is going to make you better, and brings it about independent of biochemical processes. This to me seems quite consistent with TMS theory. There is an increcdible literature out there of how powerful this effect can be -- sham knee surgery working better than real knee surgery, for example. A doctor administering ipecac to a nauseous patient, telling her it would STOP her nausea, and it DID!! etc. etc. My therapist says that in many ways the history of medicine from witch doctors on is really the history of harnessing the placebo effect. I am NOT a doctor and speak only from what I have read.
You might find this link interesting suggesting there really is no such thing as low serotonin causing depression. And I recently read an article in of all places the New England Journal of Medicine saying that if you examine ALL the clinical trials, not just the ones that were cherry-picked, there is virtually no difference between SSRIs and placebo. It's all pretty interesting.
Best wishes with your symptoms and situation.
http://www.anxietycentre.com/downloads/Chemical-Imbalance-Theory-is-False.pdf
|
 |
|
|
jennypeanut
103 Posts |
Posted - 08/21/2012 : 13:56:38
|
Thanks for the sympathies.
I guess I didn't make it clear enough that I'm not goin to debate about antidepressants. I'm going to skip the article. I am not of the mindset that everything= TMS and all medicine=placebo. My one year old who cannot believe in a placebo is affected by medications and my dog who had a knee replacement no longer limps after the surgery. I am not a black or white person and I don't want opinions about antidepressants. I'm not angry but I specifically said I don't want to discuss this and here I am discussing it. |
|
|
|
bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 08/21/2012 : 17:26:26
|
Hi Jenny,
First off, congrats on your decision to get off of ADs! Give yourself time and be patient with that process. You can and will do it.
The rest of your symptoms just sound like anxiety to me. (TMS) I agree, the sweating could be the meds.... and don't discount the possibility that the meds could be causing stomach issues, or ramping yours up. I came off of a low dose of a benzo for less than a year, and my stomach went into complete chaos. That said, I had stomach issues as part of my anxiety for a long time, and just didn't know it.
I had a barium swallow test done and it pretty much put my fears to rest. I still had problems, but I lost my fear that it could be anything other than anxiety. I think you know logically that yours is anxiety, too. But, if you feel like getting a test done will put you at ease... by all means do it. Just know that at some point, the only "control" we have is to let go, and allow our symptoms to be without reacting to them and generating more anxiety.
Do whatever you have to do to give yourself the confidence to treat the anxiety like what it is... anxiety.
I'm sorry about the anniversary, and I truly hope you find your way through this and to better health soon. |
|
|
|
drh7900
USA
194 Posts |
Posted - 08/22/2012 : 09:00:14
|
Jennypeanut,
I just wanted to extend my own sympathies to you. I wanted to yesterday when I read this, but just didn't know how. My biological father died when I was 10...it was in November and every year in November, I get somber around the date of his death. One year I got in a car accident on the anniversary of his death. For me, the hardest part was that I wasn't close to him at all...and I really wish I had been.
I think even Sarno says that the antidepressants are not necessarily placebo rather they treat the wrong symptom. They do alter the brain chemistry. His take (if I recall correctly from one of his book) is that the association is backwards...that is the depressive emotions are the cause of the altered brain chemistry rather than the altered brain chemistry causing the depressive emotions. When you're ready to come off of them, just make sure you wean properly with your doctor's recommended schedule. Suddenly stopping can throw your brain chemistry off and wreak all kinds of havoc up there.
I've recently begun experimenting with non-dominant hand journaling. Have you tried this? I recommend it. I've done it twice so far and the feelings are different. It's been eye opening to me.
I hope you're feeling worlds better today! Keep on healing!
--
Dustin |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
Death anniversary
