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Aussie
Australia
87 Posts |
Posted - 08/12/2012 : 01:19:37
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Only a few months back i was on my way to being over this and was certain i had found the answer to beat my chronic back pain.
Through reading just about every TMS book out there i had been able to get back into sports i had stopped doing due to pain and had enough of a decrease in pain to let the fear about my back go and start enjoying life again.
I didn't completely eliminate the pain but it definitely improved and for the first time in years i was looking forward to my future.
This improvement lasted most of this year until recently when the old chronic pain level slowly increased back to it's former levels. Then 2 weeks ago while on holiday i had the worst spasm iv'e had in years after going for a swim.
It was so bad that my girlfriend wanted me to go to hospital. I was ghost white and couldn't even move without setting another spasm off. I sat there and tried to think of anything bothering me and lets just say the ONLY thing on my mind was the pain..
I spent the last few days of the holiday laying in bed pretty shaken up but ended up taking over the counter pain killers and trying my best to remain positive. Let me tell you it was pretty embarrassing having my girlfriend have to put my pants on and dress me as i couldn't even bend in the slightest.
I also had the opportunity to finally see a TMS doc and while i knew i had TMS (due to minor pathology reports) it was nice to hear him say i was a classic TMS case and he even said i could be a 'TMS poster boy' my story was that classic! Lol..
I know this pain is not physical but it's hard not to fear it when 2 weeks on im still not recovered from my spasm. For the last few years the pattern with my chronic pain has been that after every bad spasm the pain settles but leaves behind a higher level of chronic pain that is just to stubborn and permanent feeling..
The TMS doc has suggested quite a few things to do including journalling and i guess im going to have to do more than just read the books as that has not worked for me long term. Now im back in Australia (The land of no TMS support) and it's frustrating trying to do this alone as the pain is really wearing me out..
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, Thanks for reading. |
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Birdie78
Germany
145 Posts |
Posted - 08/12/2012 : 02:26:52
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Hi Aussie,
I think Hal is from Australia, found his story a few days ago: http://mindbodyhealing.com.au/
I'm from Germany, TMS is completely unknown here!
Hope you will get better soon!
Wishes, Birdie |
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Aussie
Australia
87 Posts |
Posted - 08/12/2012 : 16:00:15
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Thanks for the reply Birdie, I have Skyped with Hal before but at that stage i needed a TMS diagnosis and with Hal being a Psychotherapist he could not give me one. I have now seen a TMS doc and have the diagnosis but my pain has dramatically increased..
Im struggling to even face the day at the moment and when the pain is like this it takes away all your strength. |
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ozagnes
Australia
23 Posts |
Posted - 08/20/2012 : 20:27:29
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Hi Aussie,
Where are you in Australia? I am in Sydney and recently started seeing a TMS doc, although he does not claim to be one but knows about Sarno's work and agrees with the concepts. He is a GP that now practices as a therapist, and uses various techniques such as hypnosis and EMDR. So far, he is the only person that I felt completely understood what I was talking about with my psychosomatic pain :)
Email me if you want his name, he is not on the TMS doctor list on this site so I will respect that and not make his name public.
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Aussie
Australia
87 Posts |
Posted - 08/20/2012 : 20:37:11
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Hi Agnes, I am in Sydney too! I would love to get that doctors details.. I tried to contact you through your profile but there is no link to email you? My email is azza2099@hotmail.com Would be great if you could send his info through. Thanks! |
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 08/21/2012 : 17:35:13
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Hi Aussie,
I've had back pain as part of my anxiety/panic but it's not a primary symptom. I did have bouts in my 20s and 30s though, and I'm not convinced looking back that it was all anxiety.
One thing I've learned in my own struggles is that sometimes these setbacks happen... and we sort of need a plan for when they do. Meaning, you're going to have times where you simply can't get out and function the way you want to. Basically, you're operating in a "smaller world" than you'd like. So, when I get knocked down with a bout of panic'/high anxiety... I'm now trying to put in place a plan for that world that allows me to truly accept being there, knowing that it is not only temporary... but part of the larger healing process. So, let's say I get knocked down one day and I can't go for a walk or a jog. Well, I'll try to get some housework done. I'll try to do the most productive thing I can do, given the relative size of the "world" I can work within. Sometimes that means just doing dishes and organizing a file cabinet. Sometimes it means doing lots of meditation in efforts to get myself back to health. I listen to inspirational recordings and videos on my iphone. Basically, I have this plan now that allows me to be okay being in that world. I may be in pain, I may not like it... but I'm not causing ADDITIONAL suffering by beating myself up for feeling bad.
I don't know if that makes sense, but it's really opened a door for me. I'm not healed yet, but I can see this helping. If I wake up tomorrow with ramped anxiety, I will still fret some... I'll still go through the initial motions of worry... but then it fades, and I settle into my little world and work my way outward until my regular world is back. I try to see it as healing, and not something to be afraid of. At the end of the day, you can say... "i got this done... I got that done... I didn't let this thing keep me down all day." I think that's very important.
Other than that, of course... just step up those things that have helped you in the past. But, KNOW that it's a temporary state. Those are two very beautiful words when you're suffering. Temporary state.
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Aussie
Australia
87 Posts |
Posted - 08/22/2012 : 05:15:31
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Thanks Bryan i appreciate your advice. I feel slightly better today and forced myself to exercise while imagining a healthy body and blood flowing over my aching back.
The anxiety role in this is so clear to me now that i have been looking deep within. This chronic pain began within weeks of me getting over some weird unexplained anxiety i had been suffering from for about a year.
It was like i stopped being anxious and worrying about all the stuff i was and totally focused on the back pain.. I can see what has happened i just cant seem to beat it at the moment!
Im keeping positive though. Thanks again for the input.
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 08/22/2012 : 10:19:02
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Your story is very typical.
Just when you think you've won the war, TMS launches a sneak attack when you least expect it.
Do your best to not get frustrated. Accept it as a signal that something is going on in your life that you are not fully facing up to. Try to figure out what it is. Resume physical activity when you can.
It is very discouraging but this is part of the game. I believe TMS-prone people are always prone to recurrences. Ideally the episodes become fewer and far between, of lower intensity, and shorter duration. Welcome these episodes as a gentle reminder to address your emotional health. |
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stayfit65
54 Posts |
Posted - 08/22/2012 : 12:23:28
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I too have flareups, but I barely pay attention to them and go on with my life. ..not crazy about the pain, either, but damn if I am going to let it ruin any more of my precious days!!! I've noticed now the pain moving around more, from back to knees, back to knees...hopefully on its way out... |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 08/23/2012 : 06:43:36
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Hi Aussie, There are many people I know who have overcame most of their tms/anxiety problem but always have flair up during holiday seasons or vacation trips. One guy I work with got back spasm every Christmas. A friend I know always got panic attack each time he went back to Vietnam to visit.
Something about Holidays and vacations that often trigger a tms/anxiety respond in our body. Maybe all the expectations, the excitements produced more stress chemicals in our body. Maybe we worry a little more about our image at the beach, worry more about how our food would taste to guests, is our house clean enough, is my swim trunk in fashion? Do my girlfriend/boyfriend have a good time... We just tensed up more.
When we do thing we don't often do, when we're out of our "safe zone", when away from our familar environment, we tend to get more anxious and hyper. Then conditioning respond kicked in and our brain "thought" we are in danger and boom, produced the symptoms.
I have no idea if this is what happened to you or not. But if it is, you have nothing to worry about. All the cases of holiday anxiety I have known always subsided and went away in a short time, even if you don't do anything about it. The first few days when it happened, no matter what you do nothing would help. But eventually it will go away and you will be back to the state you were before the holiday.
So have no fear, don't add any more fuel to it. It shall pass.
As tmsers, nexttime prepare your mind before you have to be out of your familiar environment. I used to have an extreme fear of flying. I over came it by talking to myself right before each flight. I would just tell myself: hey you, you are going on a flight and there is a chance that symtoms will appears due to my body's falsely think I'm in danger since I am away from my "safe zone". Don't worry about it, don't let it scare you, just go about your day as normal as possible, the symptoms will always leave. And it does. The symptoms appear less and less frequent and eventually never came back when I fly.
Hope this help Assie.
------------------------ No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
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