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robbokop
United Kingdom
75 Posts |
 Posted - 02/23/2005 : 08:57:09
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Seth asked me to respond to him about my experiences with headaches(which lasted for about 3 years starting as my parents were splitting up when I was 16, and my sister was very ill with an eating disorder) but thought it may be useful as a new post for all to read.
Seth, I think the tricky problem getting rid of a symptom like the headache is that you have had them for so long that you connect them with everything you do, they are engrained in every activity. When I had RSI recently, on realising it was psychological, I could then put it to the test by typing, playing piano, washing up etc and telling the symptoms to pack their bags - and it worked, hurray! If you've got headaches you can't necessarily do an equivalent test i.e. head butting walls and expecting it not to hurt. It got to the point where I had them from within minutes of waking to sleeping. It's sad to think of it now, but in my first year at University I would look forward to going to sleep to have a rest from the pain, I expect many people here can relate to that. The trouble is you can't imagine your life without them. However, through the use of a technique(not Sarno - didn't know about him then) I managed to get rid of them.
It's difficult to describe but the basic principle is that the brain is like a mesh which links things to other things. I.e. people with RSI link typing with pain - our old favourite, conditioning. Or a song you hear reminds me of a holiday you went on, or a certain smell brings back a vivid image in your mind etc. There's a great archive post somewhere here that explains why goldfish don't have TMS - because they don't have a memory.
My headaches would correspond to each situation - different types of headaches for different things. There's no point describing each one, too many! When I say headache I'm including neck ache, face pain etc. This took over everything - I thought about nothing else other than the pain all day long. The way I broke that pattern was by using a method called 'treats' which was introduced to me by my Godmother(and Guru!). This idea is that you choose a series of things around you which you think about consciously to break the brain's cycle. Not just a few things but loads - for example, a particular tree on the way to work, the feel of a nice material(i.e. cord jacket), a song you like, the wind on your face, the smooth surface of the wooden office desk, a rose quartz stone in your pocket, chocolate cake, running cold water over your hands, how your favourite jumper make you feel(the one my old nan knitted me is my favourite, bless her). Colours is a good one too - if you like the colour red you will suddenly start seeing it everywhere! If you get enough of these(not a handful but hundreds), every time your brain tries to go back to the pain you can use the treats to bring you back into the conscious, and into the room etc. The idea is also that these treats can replenish your energy stocks. So, in a stressful meeting with your boss you can use many treats while you are talking to him to help you. Or when someone is very down and keeps telling you about their problems, they often sap your energy, this is also where many treats are needed to keep you stocked up! No one else has to know about these, they are your secret special treats to help you. It takes a while to get the hang of but it really worked for me. It also takes a lot of time, determination and belief. Even when the pain eventually starts to diminish you keep on with the treats, keep making the effort to do things consciously. How it helped me is it starts to reconnect you with the real world around you rather than being in your head all the time and as that becomes more natural it's a great feeling - eventually colours look brighter, people seem nicer, food tastes better etc. Gradually the brain's mesh begins to be broken down and stops associating everything with headaches. Then you can just live - that's the scary part! Occasionally I'd think 'oh I haven't had any facial pain recently and then guess what, along it came. I'd just work at it and get rid again. This may all sound crazy but it worked for me!
Another aspect to bear in mind, was that I started to view the headaches as an untuned radio. It was actually very useful in determining the stress level of a situation. So sitting reading in the security of my flat the radio would be fairly quiet, but after an exam at university it would be really loud(really bad tension headache). Now I had taken on board that the headaches were psychological and not anything serious(as I previously had thought) I could start to look for the emotional factors behind the headaches and the radio idea let me know how serious each one was. I was then able to find out which things were affecting me and why and then find new ways to deal with them differently(usually by acknowledging anger/fear at the time and working through it instead of having a headache).
This is a very brief summary of something that took a few months to learn and practice but I hope you get the gist of what I'm saying, and that it is helpful rather than confusing! I found it quite hard to find the right words to describe it(which is why I haven't written about it before)! It may not be everybody's cup of tea but I know one thing - it is how I completely rid myself of headaches! Anyone else come across the treats idea?
Robbokop
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2005 : 09:15:33
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Quote from Robbokop:
"How it helped me is it starts to reconnect you with the real world around you rather than being in your head all the time and as that becomes more natural it's a great feeling -"
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Wonderful post Robbokop. You should get that published, very well written, too! |
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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2005 : 18:49:23
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robbokop,
I'm so so glad to hear your story, since I too have suffered from a constant chronic headache in the temples for over 5 1/2 years straight (it started when I was 17, imagine that!). I half understand the "treats" method, although I am still a bit confused. Basically the idea is to think about things so as to distract you and keep you in the present? Could you please go into a bit more detail because I would love to incorporate this somehow into my current TMS work--which is Sarno and some anger release techniques from Facing the Fire).
I can 100% relate to "living inside your head" so to speak, as I'm sure most TMSers can. Did your headache slowly diminish, and one day you woke up and it was gone?
Could you also try to rearticulate the "radio" technique as well?
Your description of life apres headaches, TMJ, etc. sounds so promising. I too cannot wait.
I'm so glad you shared your story as it was a great boost to my morale.
Thanks!
Seth |
Edited by - lobstershack on 02/23/2005 19:20:06 |
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Kajsa
Denmark
144 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2005 : 02:22:59
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Robbokop
I really liked reading your post!
Kajsa |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2005 : 08:38:43
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That is Freakin' amazing!
AFTER I read Sarno,I of course found loads of mind/body information.In fact I have used it as 'graduate' work.I sometimes wonder though if I would have been as openminded had not I had Sarno's model of how the process works?
None the less,that was outstanding that someone had figured out that they were emotionally tied and devised a reprogramming method so efficient.
as Seth said,please elaborate...that was fascinating
peace
Baseball65 |
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robbokop
United Kingdom
75 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2005 : 15:01:29
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Hi folks.
Have been thinking more about this since Seth replied - leave it with me for a couple more days, I would like to come back with some comments that will describe the ideas as clearly as poss. Stay tuned!
Watched my team lose today in the Carling Cup final today; The guy on our team who is constantly injured was taken off, guess why - injured. He's thinking so much about his ankle that he's forgotten how to kick the ball!
Robbokop |
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robbokop
United Kingdom
75 Posts |
Posted - 03/25/2005 : 04:15:02
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Hi Seth,
I've been thinking about this and am not sure I can explain it much better. In answer to your questions:
'Basically the idea is to think about things so as to distract you and keep you in the present?'
I wouldn't necessarily say that you are distracting yourself - just reconnecting with the outside world(which often feels very foreign and far away when we are in pain) and trying to break the minds pattern of associating everything with pain. A 'treat' is a moment of pleasure that you give yourself, it is your gift to yourself - to tell you that you deserve to feel good about yourself. With many of these gifts as a constant source, I found I could break the mind's pattern of thinking about pain and also were a good source of energy.
'Did your headache slowly diminish, and one day you woke up and it was gone?'
I can't honestly remember how they went but I think it was fairly gradual. The main thing was that they weren't there all day anymore, that was a breakthrough. Then even less, etc until they weren't an issue anymore.
'Could you also try to rearticulate the "radio" technique as well?'
OK - Sarno says it in his book really. When you feel the pain you know that there is a psychological cause. So rather than concentrate on the pain you work through emotional things. My way of dealing with it(before I knew Sarno's theory) was imagining that the pain was sending me a message. For example, tomorrow I've got to stand up and do a best man speech. If this had been when I got headaches - I would have had a truly awful head pain all day. But I would view the pain as a baromoter of the stress level - a really loud untuned radio crackling away. I would say, 'ok, I can hear what you're saying to me - there's something serious I need to address, what is it?' I soon started to identify the emotional factors. In the case of the speech, there may be all sorts of things underneath my confident exterior when I stand up - fears, anger etc.
I would say that if you are following Sarno then perhaps it might be confusing to be incorporating other things too - don't know! This was just how I booted the aches out of my head with my system!
O Kop |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2005 : 13:42:49
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Great post! It's amazing that you were able to get rid of the headaches using this technique. Do you find that the headaches are no longer trying to come back or do they periodically reappear and you need to use your technique again and again to get rid of them?
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robbokop
United Kingdom
75 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2005 : 05:35:50
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Hi Miehnesor.
In answer to your question:
'Do you find that the headaches are no longer trying to come back or do they periodically reappear and you need to use your technique again and again to get rid of them?'
Well, only very occastionally if I'm trying to spin a thousand plates, or if I'm consciously trying to address the biggest, darkest emotional things, i.e. my mum's death - like all the tension, upset is centered in the head. But now I would say that most of the time there's a 'knowingness' in my mind that the pain doesn't have to be there, and so it isn't. When I get other things, like a twinge of pain in the wrist at the piano, I tend to just carry on and give it no time, then it goes away. The thing I have the most at the moment is cold hands. It's conditioned - when I arrive at the office they go cold, this tends to last most of the day(apart from when I eat lunch) and then they warm up when I leave the office. I don't think it takes 3 guesses to work out what that's all about.
Cheers. Rob |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2005 : 13:14:39
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quote:
Originally posted by robbokop
Hi Miehnesor.
In answer to your question:
'Do you find that the headaches are no longer trying to come back or do they periodically reappear and you need to use your technique again and again to get rid of them?'
Well, only very occastionally if I'm trying to spin a thousand plates, or if I'm consciously trying to address the biggest, darkest emotional things, i.e. my mum's death - like all the tension, upset is centered in the head. But now I would say that most of the time there's a 'knowingness' in my mind that the pain doesn't have to be there, and so it isn't. When I get other things, like a twinge of pain in the wrist at the piano, I tend to just carry on and give it no time, then it goes away. The thing I have the most at the moment is cold hands. It's conditioned - when I arrive at the office they go cold, this tends to last most of the day(apart from when I eat lunch) and then they warm up when I leave the office. I don't think it takes 3 guesses to work out what that's all about.
Cheers. Rob
Good for you. It sounds like your TMS is under control. Have you found the therapy stuff you wrote about (1'st therapy session) helpful or just the general knowledge of how TMS works sufficient to rein in those symptoms? I'm just curious because it seemed like you were on the brink of some big emotional breakthroughs in the 1'st therapy session post. |
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robbokop
United Kingdom
75 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2005 : 05:44:38
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A bit of both really. I've had 4 therapy sessions now - and feel like i'm just starting to get the hang of it, wan't sure at first. With the therapy I feel like I'm just scraping the surface at the moment but even that is helping enough to make me feel the good things more. I haven't really had an 'outburst' yet, but am certainly getting more in touch with my emotions. I was walking home yesterday and it suddenly struck me that when I was little(about 8) I remember I felt great sadness when my Nan's dog died. I can remember I went to the piano and played the Lonely Man theme(from Incredible Hulk) as it was a really sad sounding solo piano piece - in order to mourn the dog and feel my sadness that is was dead. As I remembered that feeling of sadness I felt it again and then that led to thinking about other losses and the feeling was still there. Afterwards I had a lovely evening and felt a lot calmer than usual. Usually when I think about my Mum's death I feel numb, but if I got that sad about a dog then I figure it's a matter of connecting with the emotions, which must be very strong and slowly releasing them.
The knowledge of TMS and feeling that I'm on the right track seems to be enough to keep most physical symptoms at bay. Interestingly, the other morning(the day of a wedding at which I was best man) I felt my back 'go out' and pain start but in a flash I had told it 'ha! no thanks, not today' and it went. Had cold hands all day though. How about you, are your group sessions helping to connect you to your emotions - what about the shaking symptoms?
Rob of the Kop
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2005 : 12:39:06
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quote:
Originally posted by robbokop
A bit of both really. I've had 4 therapy sessions now - and feel like i'm just starting to get the hang of it, wan't sure at first. With the therapy I feel like I'm just scraping the surface at the moment but even that is helping enough to make me feel the good things more. I haven't really had an 'outburst' yet, but am certainly getting more in touch with my emotions. I was walking home yesterday and it suddenly struck me that when I was little(about 8) I remember I felt great sadness when my Nan's dog died. I can remember I went to the piano and played the Lonely Man theme(from Incredible Hulk) as it was a really sad sounding solo piano piece - in order to mourn the dog and feel my sadness that is was dead. As I remembered that feeling of sadness I felt it again and then that led to thinking about other losses and the feeling was still there. Afterwards I had a lovely evening and felt a lot calmer than usual. Usually when I think about my Mum's death I feel numb, but if I got that sad about a dog then I figure it's a matter of connecting with the emotions, which must be very strong and slowly releasing them.
The knowledge of TMS and feeling that I'm on the right track seems to be enough to keep most physical symptoms at bay. Interestingly, the other morning(the day of a wedding at which I was best man) I felt my back 'go out' and pain start but in a flash I had told it 'ha! no thanks, not today' and it went. Had cold hands all day though. How about you, are your group sessions helping to connect you to your emotions - what about the shaking symptoms?
Rob of the Kop
You are making huge progress and i'm sure it must be very satisfying to see it. I can really relate to the numbed out or block feeling that came up for you wrt your mom. I used to feel that all the time when something that would normally trigger a strong emotional response came up. That was my coping mechanism that helped me to survive childhood. As Baseball has already pointed out, what your mom did was the ultimate in abandonment and the emotions are so intense that you just numb out to protect yourself from them. The therapy should help unfreeze those feelings.
WRT my shaking feelings- that still comes up especially in my group therapy. When i'm all alone working on my TMS issues I usually go staight into the rage and then the sadness after that. That provides partial relief of my symptoms for a day or so until they return.
What i've noticed as i've worked on this stuff is that my repressed feeling of fear, anger, and sadness have been coming closer and closer to the surface such that it doesn't usually take much to trigger it. That is also why my symptoms have been intensifying- to try and block the emotion from surfacing (just as Sarno says). I can really relate to Sarno's Helen story where the symptoms intensified until the emotion could no longer be denied and it burst into consiousness. |
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Treats and the untuned TMS radio
