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drh7900
USA
194 Posts |
 Posted - 05/31/2012 : 10:01:09
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So I finished MBP and bought SteveO's book...and so far I like it a lot. I read a sentence last night that resonated with me, but I am having trouble figuring out what I should do about it.
The sentence was, "Walking with a limp, the fear of lifting something, or sitting certain ways to avoid pain, instills deeply in the mind that there is a structural problem within the body itself."
One of the reasons this resonated with me is because I still limp. Not all the time, but when I hurt I do. I have tried to pay very close attention to my gait and when I hurt, my gait is cut short on the side on which I hurt. I don't think it's because I FEAR the pain, but simply because I FEEL the pain. I continue to try to walk normally, but I feel like the pain prevents it at times. Does this make sense? Am I limping because I hurt or am I limping because I don't want to hurt...I'm not sure I can fully identify that.
I have been able to overcome the fear of lifting things...I bend over and pick stuff up all the time now and most often without much increase in pain. I DO avoid sitting certain ways to avoid pain...but only when sitting in those ways ACTUALLY causes pain. Otherwise, I'll try to sit in those ways first and if it doesn't hurt too much, I'll keep at it. Am I doing this wrong? Is avoiding things that are causing pain in the moment encouraging TMS to continue? Is there a difference between avoiding things because you think they will hurt vs. avoiding things only when they actually cause pain, but keep trying them and doing them when the pain isn't as bad?
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Dustin |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 05/31/2012 : 19:10:48
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| Dustin, I thought about your question long and hard and I finally think I have a good answer. We can always have Balto and Hillbilly chime in and get their thoughts but this is what I come up with. ANY time you have pain you are somewhat tense or anxious for whatever reason, a lot of times it happens in a conditioned situation, like going to work etc. If the anxiety or tension is there long enough, or intense enough, you will not recognize it but will more so manifest as a symptom in your body. The more you focus on the symptom, including the NEED to challenge it or change the way you are physically moving, the more you will be unable to recognize your tension or anxious feeling and are actually more apt to increase your tension/ anxiety. Therefore, the only thing to do if there is pain is just try to act normal and focus on trying to calm yourself down to recondition yourself to the situation. The important point is that you are not avoiding the emotional situation, but you are recognizing it and just being normal in it, pain or no pain. Remember that dr sarno says to only do everything you were afraid to do once the pain is gone or almost gone or you may frighten yourself and cause a set back. This makes sense in looking at tms equivalents, if you had an ulcer, would you make headway by drinking tons of alcohol and challenging it or would it be by obtaining more peace? Now if your in pain and you decide to take a run as long as it's taking your mind of your body and decreasing your tension, this can be helpful, but in my experience trying to do this to specifically to challenge is counterproductive. So in your case when you feel like your limping, focus more on calming instead on how your moving, trust me when the pain goes you will not even worry about how your moving bc it will be naturally normal |
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drh7900
USA
194 Posts |
Posted - 06/01/2012 : 08:24:01
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Thanks Ace1. What's interesting is that my pain is worse at work...but I don't (think I) have much if any tension at work. I used to...I used to be in a job that brought out the "worst" in my "goodist" qualities. I was sacrificing so much of myself, it's a wonder my TMS symptoms weren't worse than they were (although, admitedly, sometimes they were). My new job I got over 18 months ago is more pay, less hours, less responsibility, less travel and I actually have time with my family and have my weekends and holidays back...everything I actually wanted in a new job. My work stress levels are at an all-time low.
That's not to say all my stress levels are at an all-time low...more of my "goodist" qualities are being forced out of me at home in the form of self-sacrifice because of our almost-2-year-old's insane energy levels and our 5-week-old's insistence that night time is not a good time for parents to sleep and my wife's exhaustion...as a "goodist" (and decent human being) I have to help in every way I can find. I'd say I can recognize where some inner rage is coming from at this point since the id is being quieted by the ego and superego.
BUT it's odd to me that my pain levels increase when I'm away from home and decrease when I go home. It's at work that I limp more. It's at work that the pain in my back and leg are higher. It's at work that I have a harder time getting up and down from my chair...but it starts happening almost as soon as I get out of my truck in the parking lot, not after I've been in my work chair...so it CAN'T be structurally related and due to my chair.
Maybe I need to access and discharge some of the rage I may have left over from my old job...that was a pretty enraging 8 years.
I'm going to make a success story post here in a few minutes if I have time...because as for the "moving normally" part, there's some interesting things happening in my body right now.
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Dustin |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 06/01/2012 : 10:35:23
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Dustin,
I have found it more helpful to think of it as more of a conditioned mental strain, then rage. Another way to think of it is your mind is overly reved up with certain situations reving it up more based on your past experiences. This makes more sense than rage. You have learned to strain mentally (and physically to some degree) at work because of you past experience, so when your there you have to decondition yourself. Are you always anxious to be fast? this this a very common one. If so, you have to try to stop this too. I used affirmations like: I'm calm relaxed patient, and confident. Also... I forgive and let go easily. I use them when applicable to try to calm my reved up mind down especially if i have ANY symptom. Just try to otherwise be as normal as possible without reacting to the symptom. With time and patience, it just get better. |
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drh7900
USA
194 Posts |
Posted - 06/01/2012 : 14:18:33
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Interesting question you pose. I don't know that I'd say I always feel anxious to be fast, but I DO feel anxious to be on time...on time to the time I have in mind. My work schedule is basically 8 to 5. But there is some flexibility there and I can come in at 7:30 and go home at 4:30 if I want to. So for me...7:30 is the time I want to be to work...and since moving in to my new house, (much more variable traffic patterns) I have struggled to get to work when I want to be there, and so I stay later and end up fighting traffic on the way home. Struggled was ok for a while...now it doesn't happen. With our new baby, I struggle to even make it out the door by 7:30. So I'm failing to be "on time" in my mind every day. I have, of course, chosen to accept this as the new temporary norm...but perhaps I'm a little more unhappy about that than I realized!
And for me...rage is not an uncomfortable term. I harbored very angry feelings that I, of course, suppressed at my last job. I was the cool, calm and collected superman that everyone needed me to be. I sacrificed most of my personal time, much of my sleep time, and put a lot of strain between my wife and myself as I became married to my job instead of her. So, yeah, there's definitely rage about the 8 years I subjected myself to that..all while pushing through the pain of my "disability" from my army injury...at times it was also very physically demanding work and hurt like hell most of the time.
And I need to get a small arsenal of affirmations...I am working on forgiving and letting go, but perhaps I need to better train my mind on just how to do that.
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Dustin |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 06/01/2012 : 16:50:33
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| Anxious to be fast or on time is the same problem and I think is important to be resolved to help yourself heal |
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drh7900
USA
194 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2012 : 12:38:28
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I've been thinking a lot about that last statement you made, Ace1. I've been trying to pay more attention to how I feel about getting places, getting things done, etc...turns out I have quite a bit of frustration and tension about keeping time to a minimum on certain things. I wouldn't say I have road rage, but I get quite irritated if the person in front of me is going below the speed limit because it's going to keep me from getting to my destination in the smallest time possible (although, I probably irritate a bunch of drivers by not going over the speed limit when they get right on my bumper at the speed limit...yep...the law-abiding goodist in me LOL - I guess it doesn't matter if they don't like me if they don't know me  )
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Dustin |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2012 : 18:57:48
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| Yeah Dustin being in a rush is the BIGGEST cause of tension in this society. Most of it is below our radar bc it has become so automatic |
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drh7900
USA
194 Posts |
Posted - 06/19/2012 : 13:22:41
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I've recently been trying to be very conscious not to be in such a hurry. I'm not sure I've mastered that just yet...lol
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Dustin |
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Limping because of or to prevent pain?
